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So Fox News this morning has this caption on a report about the correlation of crime & gun control – no, I had the sound turned down and didn’t listen to it; FNC is grating enough to my ears nowadays now that they seem to be turning into CNN Lite…

…and the caption reads – and I quote:

RPT: CRIME GOING DOWN DESPITE THE OVERTURN OF CITY GUN BANS

What?&#160 The?&#160 Ever?&#160 Loving?&#160 Fuckity?&#160 FUCK?!?!?!?!!!

Has it not occurred to the pinheads over at Fox News that crime might&#160 be going down BECAUSE&#160 of “the overturn of city gun bans”?!

Libtards far & wide have been calling Fox “Faux News” for years now.&#160 And with this sudden leftist bent of theirs…they might finally be right.

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Well, Denizens, what damnfool notions are coming out of the mind of Garry Trudeau Mr. Jane Pauley today?

Let’s have a look, shall we…?

Well, Garry-anne, there’s a slight difference between your ragheaded butt-buddies flying planes into the World Trade Center & the Pentagon, and 80 to 100 million Americans owning guns.

One was an act of war on this country.&#160 An attempt to bring this country to its knees.&#160 You know – your unstated objective for as long as you’ve been drawing that piss-poor “art” of yours?

The other is covered by the Supreme Law of the Land – the United States Constitution.

You know – that document with which you and your fellow libtard pussies like to wipe your asses?

So Mr. Jane Pauley believes in little green men from Cthulu-knows-where.

Which, for us, explains why he also swears by gun control.&#160 Nice.

Dumbass.

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Item:&#160 Widdle Billie Maher, ABC/HBO’s resident chickenshit pussy, has this to say about gun owners.

“The NRA should just change its name to the assassin’s lobby, because that’s what they are” TV personality Bill Maher told Tonight Show host Jay Leno on Tuesday when asked about his take on the Tucson shootings (watch segment in sidebar media player).

“I’m so tired of hearing about the Second Amendment and the Constitution,” he continued.

Same guy who said this:

“You know, they’re talking about 60 votes they need,” Maher said. “Forget this stuff. You can’t get Americans to agree on anything. Sixty-percent? Sixty-percent of people don’t believe in evolution in this country. He just needs to drag them to it. Like I just said, they’re stupid. Just drag them to this.”

He suggested Obama employ Mafia-like tactics straight from “The Godfather” to get Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., to agree to Obama’s plan.

“Get health care done, you know, with or without them,” Maher said. “Make the gang of six an offer they can’t refuse. This Max Baucus guy – he needs to wake up tomorrow with an intern’s head in his bed.”

This gun owner’s response:&#160 Wilhemina, you little pansy-ass, I’m fairly certain you’d rather hear&#160 about it…than be living&#160 it.

IYKWIMAITYD.

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Got a solicitation letter from the National Association for Gun Rights (NAGR) this morning…

He’s at it again.

I’ve told you to beware of an Obama sneak attack, and here it comes.

In the face a tough election year, Barack Obama and the anti-gunners are willing to do ANYTHING to infringe upon your right to keep and bear arms.

Right now, Barack Obama has teamed up with liberal special interest groups to use the un-elected bureaucrats in the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to ban all traditional forms of ammunition.

That’s right, Obama and his cronies are trying to ban ALL your ammo.

By using the Toxic Substance Control Act of 1976, they want to ban all hunting, target and self-defense ammo that contains lead, no matter how little.

Make no mistake — this is gun control at its worst.

Since your actions have stopped their plans to pass ammo and gun bans so far in congress, they’re using the old end-run.

Obama and his anti-gun cronies in the EPA know that by banning all but the most expensive ammo, they’ve effectively banned your guns in all but name.

Blah blah blah, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.&#160 Whereupon, at the end of things, they ask me to sign this petition and possibly send them some $$$$.

Don’t get me wrong.&#160 I’m as pro-Second Amendment as they come – in fact, I just took a class this week to re-upp my CHL (which should scare libtards no end).&#160 So normally I would have no problem ginning up some outrage over the whole schlemiel.

Except for…well, except for this.

In a swift and unexpected decision, the Environmental Protection Agency today rejected a petition from environmental groups to ban the use of lead in bullets and shotgun shells, claiming it doesn’t have jurisdiction to weigh on the controversial Second Amendment issue. The decision came just hours after the Drudge Report posted stories from Washington Whispers and the Weekly Standard about how gun groups were fighting the lead bullet ban.

The EPA had planned to solicit public responses to the petition for two months, but this afternoon issued a statement rejecting a 100-page request from the Center for Biological Diversity, the American Bird Conservancy, and three other groups for a ban on lead bullets, shot, and fishing sinkers. The agency is still considering what to do about sinkers.

The decision was a huge victory for the National Rifle Association which just seven days ago asked that the EPA reject the petition, suggesting that it was a back door attempt to limit hunting and impose gun control. It also was a politically savvy move to take gun control off the table as the Democrats ready for a very difficult midterm election.

Methinks someone at NAGR is Sorta Kinda Maybe&#153 asleep at the switch, y’know?

Memo to the NAGR:&#160 C’mon, guys.&#160 Arise from thine slumber and get some coffee in thine nostrils.&#160 In Other Words&#153, guys, PAY SOME FUCKING ATTENTION!!!!!

Geeze.

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With all due respect and admiration for my best friend, Misha – and for the way he has with the English language and the joy I have whenever I read his smackdown of a libtard…

…Denizens – this may be the absolute best blog post I have read in the seven-years-plus I’ve been doing this.

(An aside:&#160 And it’s been seven years, too, as of last week, since we launched Pegasus&#160 around Planet Bogsnot.&#160 Just realized that, too.)

Anyway, go read that post.

Then read it again.

Then again.

Then read it some more.

In fact, that’s your homework assignment for the rest of 2009, at the very least.

This post is that.&#160 Damned.&#160 Good.

Now.&#160 Go.&#160 Shoo.

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Conjured up after reading this GFW hit-piece:

OSUNSAMI: There is one way for restaurants to get around the law and keep the guns out. They can post a sign like this one, saying no. Restaurant and bar owners worry that the signs alone aren’t enough, and that they’ll have to enforce them and start checking their customers for guns at the door.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN: A family with children coming in wants to know has there been an incident here in this restaurant, is this restaurant safe for me to come into?

OSUNSAMI: The bar owners are now suing the state to repeal the law.

RAYBURN: We want to maintain ourselves as Music City, USA, not become Dodge City, USA.

The whole point of concealed-carry is this:&#160 you don’t know I have a gun on my person.&#160 And if you don’t know I have it, you’re not likely to freak out about it.

And you won’t&#160 know I have it…unless I happen to need it.

And I won’t need&#160 it…unless some ne’er-do-well goblin perp happens to draw down on me – or you – or your family – first.

In which case…you may be pretty damned fuckin’ glad I have it.

Glad we could clear that up.&#160 Any questions?

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What with all the Hue & Cry&#153 about exhorbitant executive salaries, bonuses (bonusii?), perks, golden parachutes ‘n all – I don’t seem to recall any libtard biznotch screaming about this.

The Walt Disney Co.’s chief executive, Robert Iger, received a compensation package valued at $51.1 million in fiscal 2008, up 85 percent from a year earlier, according to an Associated Press calculation of figures disclosed in a regulatory filing made Friday. But most of it came in stock options that currently have little value.

Those options, which vest though 2013, were granted in January 2008 when Iger agreed to a new employment contract.

Iger’s salary was $2 million the fiscal year ended Sept. 27, unchanged from a year earlier, and he was given a performance-related bonus of $13.9 million, up from $13.7 million in fiscal 2007.

Gee, seems a little high for someone who’s basically watching over Uncle Walt’s legacy, isn’t it?&#160 Especially after he hasn’t done all that much to polish Disney’s image after Widdle Mikey Eisner spent all those years tarnishing it.&#160 All those less-than-wholesome movies (Touchstone&#160 and Miramax&#160 flicks come to mind), making the theme parks heterophobe-friendly, that sort of thing.

Why isn’t anyone screaming Bloody Fuckin’ Murder&#153 over any of that?&#160 Hmmmmmmmmmmm???

Oh, wait – it’s because we conservatives & Christians object to what Disney’s become over the years.&#160 Must be a Good Thing&#153, then.&#160 Never mind.

Boggles de mind, it do.

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In one of Shrubya’s last official acts before he leaves (and, thank God, takes his “compassionate” form of conservatism with him), he changed a policy allowing CCW in most national parks:

The Bush administration Friday announced a new policy allowing people to carry concealed firearms in nearly every national park and wildlife refuge.

The move changes a nearly 25-year-old policy that only permitted firearms to be carried in areas of parks that are specifically designated for hunting and target practice.

According to the Department of Interior, the new rules apply to national parks and refuges located in states that allow people to carry concealed weapons, and a person carrying a concealed weapon must have proper authorization from the state where the park or refuge is located.

In fact, they’re kinda-sorta dancing a jig over at the Rott right now.

Now, I hate to be the one to piss in everyone’s Cheerios…

MERLIN:&#160 ‘Scuse me?

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Howzzat?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Who are you and what have you done with Lord Venomous?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Oh, bite me.&#160

…but everyone just stop and think a minute.

It’s a policy.&#160 A policy enacted by an outgoing President.&#160 A policy enacted by an outgoing President who is surrendering the office to an anti-gun pussy from the other party.

How long do you think it’ll be before the Ayatollah Obambi simply reverses the policy?&#160 Hello?&#160 Anyone?&#160 Bueller?

Be happy tonight, fine.&#160 Go ahead.&#160 Knock yerselves out.

Just remember that nothing is forever – especially not newly-enacted policies roundly despised by the incoming power-brokers.

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(Hat tip to LC HJ Caveman.)

For Those Of Us Itching For The Left To Bring Their So-Called “Revolution”&#153 (that is to say, those of us who are armed and have Had Enough&#153 of the Leftards), the technical term for this might be “preaching to the choir”.

Nevertheless, it’s a good read and I would encourage you to go do so.

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[Scene:&#160 the bridge of Pegasus.&#160 Communications officer T-Bone McManx has just handed Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant a communiqu&#233 from Realm&#153 Command, and is scurrying out of the way as fast as his legs will carry him – he knows what’s coming.

Our Hero&#153, still wearing the hood of his cloak, takes the communiqu&#233 and studies it intently for about 15 seconds.&#160 The eyes begin to glow purple again.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Captain.

[Captain Korrioth, who has been attempting to locate the Shelliak shipyard HQ, jumps slightly.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 M’lord?

[His Rudeness gestures.&#160 Korrioth goes flying across the bridge and crashes hard into the bulkhead.]

LSIK&T:&#160 They found your bat’leth.

This horrifying five-foot weapon has been recovered by police during a knife amnesty.

The three-handled sword with a blade at either end, designed to be swung like a paddle, shocked officers who took custody of it.

KORRIOTH (shaking away the cobwebs):&#160 It is not&#160 a “paddle”!&#160 What, do those p’tahkmey&#160 think you can play ping-pong&#160 with it?

LSIK&T:&#160 Oh, it gets better, Captain.

A spokesman for police in Gloucester, where it was surrendered, said: “It is a particularly nasty weapon that can, literally, take someone’s head off. We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in.”

KORRIOTH:&#160 I will be pleased&#160 to give them my mek’leth&#160 in exchange – point first.

LSIK&T:&#160 Easy, my friend.&#160 They’re already scared shitless of your pride & joy as it is.

The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Believed&#160 to be?&#160 Do these morons not watch our chronicles?

LSIK&T:&#160 Apparently not.&#160 They appear to be too busy pussifying the general populace.

“It’s an extremely dangerous weapon,” said a martial arts expert last night.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Damn straight it is.&#160 Particularly in the hands of untrained amateurs.

LSIK&T:&#160 When we return after this conquest, you can…educate&#160 them.

KORRIOTH:&#160 You are most magnanimous, m’liege.

LSIK&T:&#160 Just don’t lose it again, okay?&#160 That’ll be thanks enough for me.

KORRIOTH (relieved that the resonance has left Spats’ voice):&#160 Mheh.

(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess.)

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Denizens, your assignment this weekend is to go read this masterpiece from the keyboard of Misha (and be fully prepared to nod your head a helluva lot – it’s that good).

Memo to Dan Simpson:&#160 Come get my guns if you’re so hot for ’em.

No, I wouldn’t call you a “crazed liberal zealot”.&#160 I’d call you a crazed liberal chickenshit pussy.

Slight difference.

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In the wake of the Va Tech massacre earlier today, LC Ten-Ten said it best, when he opined:

Sadly, my first thought was how the MSM and leftist lunatics is going to use this hporrid situation to advance their anti-gun rhetoric.

And on the heels of that, LC Sir Christopher pointed us to this link by Slimey Limey Paula Thompson

More »

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(Hat tip LC & Denizen Sig94.)

Courtesy of fellow blogger MilitiaJim, here are the Donktards’ 40 best reasons to ban guns:

1. Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, Detroit & Chicago cops need guns.

2. Washington DC’s low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to strict gun control, and Indianapolis’ high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the lack of gun control.

3. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but statistics showing increasing murder rates after gun control are “just statistics.”

4. The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into effect in 1994 are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates,which have been declining since 1991.

5. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.

6. The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

7. An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

9. When confronted by violent criminals, you should “put up no defense – give them what they want, or run” (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete Shields, Guns Don’t Die – People Do, 1981, p. 125).

10. The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns; just like Guns & Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

11. One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seat belts, a civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for internal medicine, a computer programmer for hard drive problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.

12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which was created 130 years later, in 1917.

13. The National Guard, federally funded, with bases on federal land, using federally-owned weapons, vehicles, buildings and uniforms, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a “state” militia.

14. These phrases: “right of the people peaceably to assemble,” “right of the people to be secure in their homes,” “enumerations herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people,” and “The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively, and to the people” all refer to individuals, but “the right of the people to keep and bear arms” refers to the state.

15. “The Constitution is strong and will never change.” But we should ban and seize all guns thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments to that Constitution.

16. Rifles and handguns aren’t necessary to national defense! Of course, the army has hundreds of thousands of them.

17. Private citizens shouldn’t have handguns, because they aren’t “military weapons”, but private citizens shouldn’t have “assault rifles”, because they are military weapons.

18. In spite of waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting,government forms, etc., guns today are too readily available, which is responsible for recent school shootings. In the 1940’s, 1950’s and 1960’s,anyone could buy guns at hardware stores, army surplus stores, gas stations,variety stores, Sears mail order, no waiting, no background check, no fingerprints, no government forms and there were no school shootings.

19. The NRA’s attempt to run a “don’t touch” campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda, but the anti-gun lobby’s attempt to run a “don’t touch” campaign is responsible social activity.

20. Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

21. A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

22. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gun is “an accident waiting to happen” and gun makers’ advertisements aimed at women are “preying on their fears.”

23. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchers but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

24. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun shows.

25. A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority of the population supported owning slaves.

26. Any self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a “weapon of mass destruction” or an “assault weapon.”

27. Most people can’t be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.

28. The right of Internet pornographers to exist cannot be questioned because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

29. Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but self- defense only justifies bare hands.

30. The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the Constitution.

31. Charlton Heston, a movie actor as president of the NRA is a cheap lunatic who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas, a movie actor as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

32. Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need larger capacity pistol magazines than do “civilians” who must face criminals alone and therefore need less ammunition.

33. We should ban “Saturday Night Specials” and other inexpensive guns because it’s not fair that poor people have access to guns too.

34. Police officers have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens can never hope to obtain.

35. Private citizens don’t need a gun for self- protection because the police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the police are not responsible for their protection.

36. Citizens don’t need to carry a gun for personal protection but police chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled with cops, need a gun.

37. “Assault weapons” have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of people. The police need assault weapons. You do not.

38. When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferential promotion, that’s bad; but when the Federal government pressures cities to buy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that’s good.

39. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on their duty weapon.

40. Handgun Control, Inc., says they want to “keep guns out of the wrong hands.” Guess what? You have the wrong hands.

Hell, it makes plenty&#160 of sense.

If you’re a Gun-Fearing Pussy&#153.

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Denizens, your assignment today is to go read Misha’s rant where he rips a GFW&#153 (Gun-Fearing Wussy) so many new ones that the poor sap’s new nickname probably oughta be “Swiss cheese”.

Then feel free to go read the article itself.&#160 Do note as to how nearly all the commenters took turns verbally beating this dumbass like a pi&#241ata.

Brings a tear to me eye, it does…

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The Department of “Hypocrisy Much?” checks in today with the story of a Springfield bimbo who got busted on drug and gun charges.

Oh – did we mention she founded that town’s chapter of the Thousand Trollop Tantrum Million Mom March?

A Springfield woman who began lobbying against gun violence after her son was shot to death in 2002 was arrested last week when police allegedly found an illegal gun and drugs in her home.

Annette “Flirty” Stevens, however, said Monday she’s innocent, and the arrest is an attempt by police to get her to give up information about unsolved crime in the city.

Mheh.&#160 Well, that’s&#160 a new defense.&#160 “Your Honor, I’m being tried for knowing too much!!!”

The handgun, which had a scratched-off serial number, and drugs allegedly were discovered Friday morning inside Stevens’ home in the 2500 block of South 15th Street. Authorities said they obtained a search warrant for the residence as part of an ongoing investigation of a recent series of drive-by shootings. No one has been hurt in the gunplay.

That would be (pardon the pun) dead giveaway number one.&#160 When did you ever hear of one of these slutinskis be able to hit a target with such a reviled&#160 weapon, eh?&#160

Although police declined to get into specifics, Stevens has a “close connection” with one of two feuding groups involved in the shootings, Lt. Rickey Davis said Monday.

Stevens, 47, who is free on bond, admitted she does know some of the people allegedly involved in the drive-by shootings. But she said she only knows them because her interest in stopping gun violence – sparked by the shooting death of her son Jericko Clark, 20, on July 13, 2002 – has her in the neighborhoods talking to the youths.

To me, that’s dead giveaway number two.&#160 If I’m the parent of a murder victim, I’m not chatting up these snot-nosed punk-asses.&#160 I’m hunting them down.&#160 I think she does&#160 know something, and she’s not telling what it is.

One wonders if the drugs were a payoff for that silence.

She said the police wrongly believe she is the ringleader of the shootings, and they think she has information to solve those cases, as well as others, including the December murder of Andre Ayers, 22, who was shot as a procession of cars wound through the city’s east side.

“This is a blatant attempt to try and undermine me,” she said Monday night. “… They can’t solve these crimes, and I’m familiar with these individuals, so they’re going after me because I socialize with all of them.”

How’s that axiom go?&#160 Something about the company you keep?

A shame hypocrisy’s not a crime in Springfield.&#160 We could lock this bitch up and throw away the key…

UPDATE:&#160 Hat tip to LC Staci.

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