“I wonder how she does it…?”
Well, buttercup, I tend to think the LACK OF ADULT SUPERVISION – YOU KNOW, LIKE HER PARENTS??? – has a little bit to do with it.
I mean, if you go to the original spot in the series (which you can find here, and I’ll be ripping that one in a future installment), this all starts when Susie’s dad gives her his cellphone – HIS  CELLPHONE, FOR CTHULU’S PATHETIC SAKE – because “it’s got a calculator”.
And then returns to find his snot-nosed daughter has apparently, in just the span of eight to ten hours, built an entire company from the ground up (complete with permits, state tax IDs, the whole nine yards, even an administrative assistant for little Susie), all through the auspices of Verizon’s supposedly-smarter-than-Einstein phone.
And that’s the last we see of anything resembling parentage in the entire ad campaign.
Nice of Verizon Wireless to come right out & tell us exactly what they think of the involvement of Mummy & Daddy in their snot-nose’s life.  To whom exactly are you trying to sell  your phone anyway, Verizon?  Couldn’t  be adults like me who just happen  to have kids, could it?
If you’re wanting me to buy your phones, Verizon, you’re not making a very good case.
Uhhhhh…no.
Although the back-flipping cheerleader is kinda cute.
MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):  WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!
‘Scuse, gotta dash… 
“What would a commercial with me be without an incredible offer like this?”
Uh…barely watchable?
Think I’m going to make this a regular feature:  Stupid-assed commercials.
Yeah, well, y’know what, Nissan?  Everything doesn’t  run on gas.  Or electric, for that matter.
Those things that need gas to run, have gas to run.  And those that don’t, have electric.
And things are just fine that way, dumbasses.
Quit trying to push a technology on us that isn’t ready for prime-time, just to satisfy a gaggle of Gaia-humping pusstards.
Or should I go elsewhere to buy my next car?
Asshats.
Most of you who know me very well know that I’ve come to detest dressing up.  Last suit I owned was one bought for me by My Dear Sainted Mother™, a powder blue vested number that actually still fit as little as five years ago.  Did buy a jacket and matching slack that passed for a suit once – and should I ever get back down to around 200, that might fit again.
(Don’t laugh – I’ve lost about five pounds in the last week or so.)
Anyway, the point of all this is a little outfit called Men’s Wearhouse.  You know – the outfit (pun partially intended) owned by a toothy little fella, one George “I Guarantee It” Zimmer.
Whom, it’s just been discovered, has thrown in with the bastard Occupussies.
Over the years, I’ve spent quite a bit of money at Mens Wearhouse, in the low four figures. They generally have a good selection of clothing at pretty good prices, and in the Twin Cities have conveniently-located stores. Overall I’ve been a pretty satisfied customer. After this week, though, they won’t see a dime from me, thanks to their support of the anti-free market mobs in Oakland that ravaged the city over the last couple of weeks.
“Read it all”, as our old frenemy Straight Up With Sherri might say.
I’ve been in a Men’s Wearhouse a time or two in my life.
Never again.  I guarantee it.
Booker T. Huffman is a professional wrestler, currently employed by World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE – Vince McMahon’s baby).  One of his favorite catchphrases goes something like, “He didn’t just say that.  Tell me he didn’t just say that.”
After reading this, you can imagine how I pretty much thought the same way.
Actress Jane Fonda said in a statement posted on her website today that the QVC television channel cancelled an appearance they had scheduled with her today to promote her new book “Prime Time,” blaming the cancellation on what she called “well funded and organized political extremist groups.”
In the same statement Fonda said, “I have never done anything to hurt my country or the men and women who have fought and continue to fight for us.”
She didn’t just say that.  Tell me she didn’t just say that.
In 1972, during the Vietnam War, Fonda took a two-week trip to North Vietnam, where she was photographed sitting on an antiaircraft gun that North Vietnamese forces otherwise used for shooting at American planes.
When she returned from her sojourn in Vietnam, as Time Magazine reported at the time, she accused U.S. forces of deliberately trying to bomb and destroy dikes, whose destruction could have caused the death of many civilians.
The question should not be how QVC could have cancelled Hanoi Jane’s appearance thereupon.
The question should  be how QVC was asininely stupid enough to invite her in the first place.
You guys seen this Jewelry Exchange commercial yet?
This has pissed me off ever since the first time I saw it.
She does that to me, I yank the ring outta her hand and go give it to my other  girlfriend.
MRS. LSIK&T (with titanium cluebat):  Your WHAT?!?!?!
LSIK&T:  Shut up & take the hint.
MRS. LSIK&T (with titanium cluebat):  Hmf.
Gimme a grateful woman every time.  Preferably a hawt one.
MRS. LSIK&T (with titanium cluebat):  KA-BONNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!
…uh, ow. 
Once you’re done considering things that Darth mentions, ponder on this one denizens.
Other than China, which country is the next largest holder of US Treasury Bonds?
And just for gee whiz and golly willikers sake, what would happen if said country would have a catastrophe only seen once every THOUSAND years or so “they” claim.
COULD it just maybe be possible that said country would start selling off those bonds (even if only pennies to the dollar) to get liquid funds to say REBUILD THE COUNTRY’S DESTROYED INFRASTRUCTURE??????
Try not to hurt yourself too much thunking what that would do to the issuer of them there bonds…….
ThatIsAll™
Just a quick note from the Commanders desk: Yes, the General is still alive and kicking. I’m just having to deal with an oily mess right now. In the meantime though, here’s a little reminder for everyone…..
Yes, today was indeed Mother’s Day. A day to celebrate all those things that mom has done for us. A day where mom get pampered and taken out to lunch or dinner. All that stuff.
But not to overlook the significant other events of May 9, let’s move over to the radar desk and see what else appears on the screen.
– For you sweet tooth dessert folks, today was also Nation Butterscotch Brownie Day.
– In honor of those of Dutch heritage, today was also National Windmill Day.
– Those of you who have a knack for all things tailoring, today was Hurray for Buttons Day.
– We’ve all seen the warnings, but the rebel in you took over…well here’s your day….it was Tear the Tags Off the Mattress Day.
And finally, this last one requires extreme solemnity, nay a full TWENTY-ONE GUN SALUTE!
Room, atten-hut!
For all those who have lost one or more of these over the years, today was:
Lost Sock Memorial Day
At Ease.
Now that mom is safely at home and resting from all the frivolity, be sure to honor the rest of these events appropriately. That’s an order soldier!
From one of my weekly humor lists:
If you see a fat man
Who’s jolly and cute,
Wearing a beard and
a red flannel suit,
And if he is chuckling
and laughing away,
While flying around
in a miniature sleigh,
With eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,
Then let’s face it…
Your eggnog’s too strong!
Generally, guys, I distrust the media.
MERLIN, KORRIOTH, OZY, K’HADIBAK’H:  NAWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Hush, you.
MERLIN, KORRIOTH, OZY, K’HADIBAK’H: 
Anyway, this from a member of the Fifth Column Fourth Estate brought a chuckle to my day.
Spew & nod warnings.
Steampunk replicas are fine, for some people.
For others only a full-scale, almost 100% working replica built in a garage will do.
Check this gear-geek project out.
I’d give this guy a “12” on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hawt).
Misha has once again dipped a toe into the world of rampant crass commercialism.
As is his right, of course – far be it from His Rudeness™ to interfere with the normal progression of capitalism.  Certainly I  intend to buy one, myself.
I will point out, though, that on this one occasion (mischievous grin) – I beat him to the punch.
Feel free to stop by and see what all I’ve gathered together in a shameless attempt to promote Spatulaism.