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I’m gonna take time out from my constant belittling of B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi to comment on something that’s been bugging me for a while.

As most of you know, Stephanie Dawn Stewart Crager, aka “Steffi the Doublewide Bitch Supreme”, used to be an elementary school teacher.&#160 (And a shitty one at that, but that’s another post.)

I think that even she would be hard pressed to fail as a teacher under this grading system that the Dallas Independent (on drugs) School District has adopted.

Dallas public school students who flunk tests, blow off homework and miss assignment deadlines can make up the work without penalty, under new rules that have angered many teachers.

The new rules will be distributed when teachers return to their campuses next week. But many who have already seen the regulations say they are too lenient on slackers, and will come at the expense of kids who work hard.

For example, the new rules require teachers to accept late work and prevent them from penalizing students for missed deadlines. Homework grades that would drag down a student’s overall average will be thrown out.

So what’s the point of, you know, actually studying&#160 and being diligent and all, if you know you’re gonna pass no effin’ matter what???

One must, of a necessity, wonder whether or not any thought on the part of the DISD school board was put into the ramifications of implementing this policy.&#160 In fact, one must wonder whether the DISD school board has any fuckin’ brains at all.

I mean, this policy is basically telling students that all they have to do is show up.&#160 And who can tell – maybe they don’t have to even do that, y’know?

School officials said the new guidelines are needed to ensure that all district teachers operate under the same rules and to create a “fair system” for grading students.

“The purpose behind it is to ensure fair and credible evaluation of learning – from grade to grade and school to school,” said Denise Collier, the district’s chief academic officer.

Translation:&#160 We’re afraid of getting our asses sued again by LU(L)LAC, the NAA(L)CP, or any other “identity politics” group with a burr up its collective asshole.

The new guidelines were developed by district staff and did not require school board approval.

Bullshit flag, 15 yards, loss of down.

There ain’t No Way In Hell&#153 that the school board didn’t sign off on this.&#160 Heads would be rolling right now if the DISD school board had so much as the slightest objection to this half-assed policy.&#160 And no one’s yet lost his/her job over this, nor will anyone.

At least, not until the next school board election cycle.

So take heart, Steffi.&#160 You could probably get your old DISD job back, double your salary and move back out of Mummy and Fat Ass’ Daddy’s place again.&#160

(Hat tip Michelle Malkin.)

Good God in Heaven, why???

Item:&#160 The Dallas Independent School District hires an accountant for what the Dullest Moaning Snooze called the district’s “fraud-busting Office of District Integrity”.&#160 He claimed on his r&#233sum&#233 that he was a Certified Public Accountant.

Item:&#160 Said accountant quit today after the Snooze learned that his CPA certification had been revoked ten years ago.

Item:&#160 The DISD school board is minority-majority.&#160 Of the nine trustees, there’s only one white guy.

Coincidence?

Now, before any of you libtard assholes start your bleating about racism, lemme make this point:&#160 The minorities in this town have for decades&#160 decried everything being under so-called white control, screaming bloody murder about racism, insisting that desegragation lawsuits go on ten years longer than they really needed to, and kvetching looooooong and louuuuuuud about how they could run things as well, if not better.

And so they got their chance.&#160 And we’ve had everything from love triangles among the high muckety mucks to furniture scandals to purchasing card abuses…well, you get the idea.

And now this.

If there is one bright spot about the Doublewide Bitch Supreme&#153 taking my boy with her…it’s that he won’t be educated in this&#160 hellhole.

Denizens, it probably will come as little shock to you guys that I was somewhat of a smart-ass in grade school.

One time, in third grade, I was forced to stay after school and follow my teacher – old and Crotchety (with the proverbial capital C) Miss Richards – a spinster if there ever was one, but I digress – around the school making a “put your hand down” hand gesture.

My cardinal sin?&#160 Mocking her for doing the same thing to one of my friends…who, at the time, really needed to go,&#160 if you catch my drift.&#160 Anyway, Old & Crotchety made that gesture, I mocked it, and she caught me and issued discipline – putting her on my personal shit list the remainder of the time I attended that school.

That’s nothing compared to what happened at a school in Pennsylvania the other day.

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As you guys know, I’m not the greatest fan of the teaching abilities of Steffi the Doublewide Bitch Supreme&#153 – when I, with no degree whatsoever, can outspell a teacher with a bachelor’s, there’s a problem.

But I would’ve defended to the death her right to teach without being assaulted, either verbally or physically.&#160 Had I witnessed some snot-nose abusing my then-wife, said snot-nose would’ve been introduced, face first, into the nearest wall.&#160 Courtesy of an assist from moi.

With that background, the Department of Inmates Running The Asylum checks in with this blurb from the Beeb about a new policy taking effect in class.

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(Hat tip Supreme General Rayegun.)

Denizens, those of you who know me know that I have plenty&#160 of reason to hate Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Shove.&#160 In addition to Donna McNabb, the Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever&#153 and her his little buddy Terri Owens, there’s also the Gangsta Rap Thug of the NBA, Allen “The Answer” Iverson (must have been a really&#160 stupid question) – and the recent sweep of the baseball locals by the Phillies and that ugly green furball they embarrassingly call a “mascot” has set my teeth on edge, as well.

But this piece of bovine excrement is worthy of an RCOB moment.

City high school students will be required to take a class in African and African American history to graduate, a move that education experts believe is unique in the nation.

It’s unique in that it’s the most insanely fuckwitted idea a school board has ever spewed out its collective piehole, that’s what’s unique about it.

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Okay, so I brought up the Dullest Moaning Snooze website for some reason or other, and this is what I’m graced with:

Now, doesn’t she look cute there, folks?&#160 “Look at me – pity me ‘cuz I’m too stupid to pass a simple little test.&#160 D’ya like my day-glo red hair?&#160 Am I phat?”

Then I go and read the story – and damned near get an RCOB moment over the whining perpetrated by these sorry-assed punks.

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Okay, now this&#160 is just plain stupid.

Public displays of affection are against the rules at Sky View Middle School in Bend, and 14-year-old Cazz Altomare found that out the hard way.

She got detention earlier this year after hugging her boyfriend in the hallway as he headed to lunch and she went to gym class.

Yeah, Denizens, you read that right:&#160 Detention for an innocent little hug.&#160 The kind of hug used to show (gasp, ARRRRRGH!!!!) affection.

What in the Hell&#153&#160 is this world coming to?!?!?!

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Awright, so I’m prepping a couple of computers for customers of mine locally (no, sweet Denita, I haven’t forgotten about you guys – in fact, your machine’s pretty much done, save for a security update here & there), when Nightline&#160 comes on and it’s Chapter 21,985 in the Creation v. Evolution fight.

And for the Fox News Channel debate portion of the program – interesting how they’ve suddenly decided that if they can mimic the format, they think they’ll get Fox’s viewership, hm? (snicker) – they dust off this evolutionist fanatic from Florida State to go up against this nerd-type from Baylor.&#160 And the fanatic is laying into the nerd, accusing him of having a religious bias and “oh, you can’t possibly believe that ‘intelligent design’ isn’t a code word for (gasp) Creationism!!!”

And the nerd is giving it his best shot, but it’s clear that Georgie-Porgie Snuffleupagus has carefully (cough) orchestrated this debate so as to make the evolutionist fanatic look like the more suave, the more debonair, the smoother, the more credible of the two.

Memo to the evolutionist morons:&#160 You people – yes, I said “you people”; get over it – have been pushing this evolution bullshit on the masses now for years.&#160 Decades, even.&#160 Ever since Snopes.&#160 And you have demanded&#160 that we believe it because, after all, it must be true!!!!!&#160 Science proves it!!!!!

Yet, for all your blathering and bleating…you bastards still haven’t proven jack shit.&#160 You have not shown us the species of animal that suddenly changed itself into a completely different species, for example.&#160 You have not, despite&#160 your natterings to the contrary, shown us what you call “The Missing Link&#153”.&#160 And when you’re questioned on the slightest jot or tittle of your screeds, your response is to malign the character of the questioner as being “one of those Creationist fanatics” – as if it were some sort of bad thing to believe in God in the first place.

Sounds to me like you’ve got this thing called “evolution” to the point where it’s, say…ahhhhh…a religion&#160 for you.&#160 Fancy that.

But for all your sniveling on the subject, the fact – yes, the fact&#160 – remains…it’s still a theory.&#160 Just as it has always been – a theory.&#160 And just as it will always be – a damned-fool theory.

Because you can’t prove it.&#160 You couldn’t before; you can’t now; you won’t be able to in the future.

So.&#160 Given that, for lo these last few decades, you people have been shoving this theory&#160 down our throats…isn’t it about time that maybe – just maybe – some other theory had its moment in the sun?

Say, the theory of “intelligent design”?

It’s certainly every bit as valid as this bucket of warm piss you people have been advocating all this time.

When it comes to our “hah skrewls” (a little more Rush lingo, there), I’m as anti-inmates-controlling-the-asylum as the next guy.&#160 Probably even more so, seeing as smart-assed teenaged punks are amongst my least favorite wastes of oxygen on the planet.

That said, I’ve got a pretty good RCOB going at the moment.&#160 At the fuckheaded school admin who got his rocks off on this particular power-trip:

COLUMBUS, Georgia (AP) — A high school student was suspended for 10 days for refusing to end a cell phone call with his mother, a soldier serving in Iraq, school officials said.

And how dare&#160 this young snot-nosed whelp talk to his beloved mother, whom he won’t see for a year – eh, you Islamonazi-felching, NEA-fellating asshats?

The 10-day suspension was issued because Kevin Francois was “defiant and disorderly” and was imposed in lieu of an arrest, Spencer High School assistant principal Alfred Parham said.

One wonders where the father was in all this.&#160 I know for a fact that, had that been me, there wouldn’t have been a sufficient number of Jawja-state troopers to keep me off that motherfucking son-of-a-bitch Parham.

The confrontation Wednesday began after the 17-year-old junior got a call at lunchtime from his mother, Sgt. 1st Class Monique Bates, who left in January for a one-year tour with the 203rd Forward Support Battalion.

Cell phones are allowed on campus but may not be used during school hours.

I hope they remember that if there’s ever a Columbine-style shoot-’em-up there.&#160 That’s right, fuckheads – slap the hand of little Missy as she tries to call 911 – “No, young lady, you can’t use that cell phone to likely save our lives – school rules, you know.”

When a teacher told him to hang up, he refused. He said he told the teacher, “This is my mom in Iraq. I’m not about to hang up on my mom.”

Hell no,&#160 he’s not about to hang up on a conversation during lunchtime (when he’s not in class, and thus not disrupting the school day) to talk to a mother he won’t see until next year.&#160 Where the royal fuck does this Draconian teacher get off, anyway?

Parham said the teen’s suspension was based on his reaction to the teacher’s request. He said the teen used profanity when taken to the office.

Gasp!&#160 Arrrrrgh!&#160 The assistant assfucker principal got a verbal kick to the crotch and couldn’t take it!&#160 How very humiliating!&#160 How very unbecoming!

How very fucking appropos.

“Kevin got defiant and disorderly,” Parham said. “When a kid becomes out of control like that they can either be arrested or suspended for 10 days. Now being that his mother is in Iraq, we’re not trying to cause her any undue hardship; he was suspended for 10 days.”

Be glad it wasn’t me with whom you were dealing, Parham, you smarmy little pisspot.&#160 You’d’ve gotten a lot more than a cussing out, you stupid bastard.

Bank on that.

Just so you know:&#160 I was never that big a fan of Sesame Street.&#160 By the time I became the age of their target demographic, I was already past letters & numbers and was into reading sentences.

Not bad for a two-and-a-half-year old, eh? (grin)

Anyway, I was more into Electric Company&#160 at that tender young age.&#160 However, that’s not to say I didn’t watch SS at all&#160 – in fact, I had a couple of favorite characters.&#160 One of them was Maria – you remember, Luis’ then-girlfriend (now wife, if memory serves)?&#160 Quite the hottie, she.

The other one was the subject of my rant today, that being the googly-eyed blue shag carpet known as the Cookie Monster.&#160 Ate everything in sight – edible or not. (grin)&#160 Known & loved for his trademark signature phrase – “Cooooooooooo-kieeeeeeeeeee”

Well, that bastion of We Know Better What’s Best For Your Child Than You Do&#153, the asshatted liberals at the Corporation for Pubic Public Broadcasting who write Sesame Street,&#160 have unilaterally decided to take our beloved Cookie Monster away and replace him with a lookalike that purports to tell your kids how they should eat – IOW, a further attempt to take your job of parenting your rugrat away from you.&#160 Chelsea Carter of AP reports:

Something must be wrong in the land of Muppets.

Something has been wrong with Public Television&#153 for a while now, Chel.&#160 You mean you’re just now noticiing?

First PBS announced that Sesame Street would kick off its 35th season this week with a multiyear story arc about healthy habits.

Oh, yeah.&#160 A three-year-old is going to listen intently to a message telling him he oughta start eating GrapeNuts&#169.&#160 YeahRight&#153.

No problem there; childhood obesity rates are soaring.

Pray tell, Chel – why&#160 would childhood obesity rates be a problem for you, eh?&#160 Are they all your&#160 crumb-crunchers, hmmmmmmmmmm?

Then I learned of changes that turned my Sesame Street world upside-down.

My beloved blue, furry monster – who sang “C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me” – is now advocating eating healthy. There’s even a new song – “A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food,” where Cookie Monster learns there are “anytime” foods and “sometimes” foods.

“Sacrilege!” I cried. “That’s akin to Oscar the Grouch being nice and clean.” (Co-workers gave me strange looks. But I didn’t care.)

Great Honkin’ Cthulu&#153, I thought the exchange system&#160 diet was bad…

People, we’re talking about a Muppet here.&#160 Muppets don’t go on diets.&#160 They entertain little children (and, on occasion, politically incorrect adults who don’t have their knickers twisted).&#160 Making sure the kiddos eat right is the job of the parents.

Sheesh.

Being a journalist, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I investigated why Sesame Street gave Cookie Monster a health makeover.

The answer would lead me into a world where television producers worked with health experts and politicians

Translated, a place where micromanaging busybody dumbasses are convinced that they Do Not Have Enough To Do&#153.&#160 The most dangerous place for these snotwits to possibly be.

Feel free to go read the rest of the article.&#160 Just make sure you haven’t eaten anything beforehand, lest you…(pun intended)…toss your cookies.

Y’know, folks, there are idiots…and then there are idiots.

Okay, so I’m running through comments at Misha’s place – as is my wont, being the Imperial Sergeant-at-Arms and all – when a comment from this post catches my eye.

This comment was So Absolutely Fucking Stupid&#153 that I couldn’t help but respond thereto.&#160 And I’m pleased to share that&#160 entry with you, my beloved Denizens…

Do you blog?

Blog?&#160 Us?&#160 Naaaaaaaaaaah.&#160 ‘Course we don’t blog.&#160 Nobody here but us Rottweliers.

There is currently a research survey out that seeks to know “why bloggers blog.” The study is being performed by a graduate student at Appalachian State University in North Carolina.

Okay, enlighten me:&#160 Why in the Hell&#153&#160 would I want to take a survey and give anything&#160 resembling information to some asshat, who apparently doesn’t have the brains of a gnat, who leaves the question “Do you blog?”…ON A FRIGGIN’ BLOG,&#160 FOR GAWD’S SAKE?!?!?!

The survey takes less than 5 minutes to complete. Thanks for your time.

Sorry, dude.&#160 I have better things to do with that five minutes.&#160 Like, say, getting a root canal…

Great.&#160 Humpin’.&#160 Cthulu.

You may have noticed that I haven’t blogged about that long-haired, maggot-infested, dope-smoking skank Ward Churchill.

There’s a reason for that.&#160 I have enough RCOB moments, and my blood pressure’s high enough as it is.&#160 I’m only 10&#189 years from outliving my father, and I’d kinda like to make it there.

Anyway, it heartens and encourages me to see that Buffalo Chip University is at least considering getting rid of this wanker Churchill.

Settlement talks between the University of Colorado and the professor who compared some Sept. 11 victims to a notorious Nazi broke down Friday after a newspaper reported the teacher had once been accused of plagiarism.

University regent Michael Carrigan declined to comment on the negotiations but said he had “substantial concern” about a report in Friday’s Rocky Mountain News that Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia had accused Churchill of plagiarizing the work of one of its professors eight years ago.

They’re just now getting to that?&#160 WorldNetDaily had the scoop on it a month ago.

But what chaps my ass is this part (and a hat-tip to B.C, Imperial Torturer&#153, for pointing it out to me last week):

University President Elizabeth Hoffman has said Churchill could be fired if the inquiry turned up misconduct, but that he would not be dismissed because of his statements.

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