Posted by Darth Venomous @ 17:26
Did you hear the pop Dubya got while Lea Michele was singing America? And then the massive pop the troops got while Chrissy Aggie-Hocktuey sand the national anthem?
I’ll guaran-damn-tee you Bambi doesn’t get that if he’s there. (Aguilera might have, had she had a “wardrobe malfunction”.)
Good on ya, NFL fans.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 14:08
In Super Bowl XIII, it was Fred Swearingen & a phantom pass interference call on Benny Barnes.
In Super Bowl XL, it was Bill Leavy’s crew and a phantom Ben Roethelisberger touchdown – one that the entire city of Seattle still maintains never happened.
In Super Bowl XLIII, it was Terry McAulay’s crew and a phantom Santonio Holmes touchdown catch to give his team a gift win over the Arizona Cardinals. You still can’t convince me that Holmes got both feet down.
Pathetic-burgh is just like the New England Pansies – they can’t win without officiating help.
Therefore, you can take it to the bank: If Lombardi’s trophy is handed to the Rooney family today, it’ll be because it was another 11-on-18 “Steal”er circle-jerk.
Because as tough as “Pits”-burgh thinks it is – the fact is that it can’t win without help.
Green Bay 31, Pittsburgh 14.
UPDATE: What did I fucking tell you? Shitsburgh holds on every damned play and it doesn’t get called, but a phantom facemask penalty on a Packer punt led to the “Steal”ers’ second TD. Swung the momentum 180 degrees.
Now GB’ll be lucky to hang on.
Update the 2nd: Shitsburgh misses a 52-yard field goal attempt. That’s the Shawn Suisham we all know & love!
Update the 3rd: And again Green Bay gets screwed by the officiating – and this time replay gave ‘em a reach-around, as well – on a reception/fumble/recovery that was ruled incomplete.
Now the penalties are coming fast & furious for GB. The NFL has already decided who they want to win.
Update the Finalth: GB held on and denied the NFL its prize.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 0:32
Denizens, remember The Receiver Formerly Known As Chad Johnson?
Yeah, this guy.
Two years ago, Johnson gave himself the moniker — a reference in Spanish to his No. 85 — and put it on the back of his uniform before a game. Quarterback Carson Palmer ripped it off before the kickoff. After the season, coach Marvin Lewis — who dislikes Johnson’s attention-getting stunts — referred to the receiver as “Ocho Psycho.”
Well, guess what? Now that the novelty’s worn off, now that people have finally started giving him the rolled-eyes treatment, now that he’s finally an average player on a piss-poor team…the light’s finally come on in that skull-still-full-o’-mush of his, common sense has finally taken hold…and he’s changing his name back.
Chad Johnson is making a comeback. Three years after changing his last name to Ochocinco, the man born Chad Javon Johnson will be going back to his given surname.
“I’ve done enough with Ochocinco,” the former Mr. Johnson told ESPN’s Trey Wingo. Yes, like having the least productive stretch of his career since the name change became official.
What with being a not-all-that-and-a-bag-o’-chips-type player ‘n all – in other words, being unable to walk his talk, he’s finally realized that he’d best snap out of it before he becomes a bigger joke than he already is.
Welcome back to the Real World, Chad. Some of us, of course, never did buy in to that “Ochocinco” bullshit – we’ve just been waiting for you to rejoin us, is all.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 21:02
…I don’t have to put up with Moochelle’s Wookiee stench in two weeks.
Now if you can just handle Pathetics-burgh and the seven zebras they’re gonna bring with ‘em in two weeks…
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 1:24
ITEM: T-sip U. the other day inked a 20-year, $300 extra-large (that’s million to those of you in the Church of the SubTarded) contract with the four-lettered Mickey Mouse outfit (that’d be “ESPN” to the aforementioned SubTarded) to broadcast TU athletic events.
UT President William Powers Jr. said the agreement, which also involves IMG College, a company that handles marketing and licensing for the university, will create 50 to 100 network jobs based at Royal-Memorial Stadium, fund some academic initiatives and further cement the university’s sports brand, already one of the most lucrative in the nation.
”We see this as a very important part of sort of continuing to reinvent the models through which we do business,” Powers said. “This is reflective of being much more creative in how public higher education positions itself as we go forward, even aside from the athletics.”
LORD VENOMOUS’ REACTION: Well, they have to meet the player payroll somehow.
(NOTE: The above is my First Amendment-protected opinion. TU attorneys – you can turn it sideways and go fuck yourselves with it.)
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 22:39
If Gary Patterson doesn’t get fooled by a Smurf Turf Eff-head State fake punt a year ago, this is TCU v. Auburn we’re watching tonight.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 22:37
Memo to Smurf Turf Dickweed State:
We beat them 47-7.
In their own fucking backyard.
And we didn’t have to use trick plays to get there, either.
Yeah, I think we’re a helluva lot better than you pussies. We don’t lose to teams like Nevada.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 12:54
Turn out the lights – the party really is over now.
“Dandy Don” Meredith has passed.
He was well known as the Cowboys’ first winning quarterback, i.e. he ran the team the first time they posted a winning record. And he was already well-known in Dallas as SMU’s quarterback. But his fame (notoriety?) took off a couple years after he retired – for that’s when he became the third man in the triumvirate of announcers doing ABC’s Monday Night Football, opposite Frank Gifford & Howard Cosell. And America became enamored with the song:
Turn out the lights
The party’s over
They say that
All good things must end
Call it tonight
The party’s over
And tomorrow starts
The same old thing again
Goodnight, Dandy Don. You left us too soon.
Posted by Supreme General Rayegun @ 20:46
Didja see this?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 2:32
And the final from Reno, NV:
It is a Perfect Football Weekend already. I don’t give a shit what the rest of my teams do.
UPDATE: ESPN showed one of the Wolfpack touchdowns coming off what looked like a double reverse (though it coulda been just a single – I only got one look at it).
Memo to Chrissy Peterson: Live by the trick play, die by the trick play, you dumbass.
Couldn’t happen to a nicer team.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:01
Kirk Herbstreit wouldn’t know pass interference if it bit him on his swishy ass.
UPDATE: 2nd idle thought: A&M can mug Nebraska with fucking impunity, yet Nebraska can’t so much as breathe on the Aggie-ettes without drawing a flag. Eleven-on-eighteen is still not a fair fight.
3rd idle thought: TCU would kick A&M’s ass up the field and back down. These pussies in maroon ain’t quite the hot shits that they think.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 14:26
(Via BaD Radio over at the ticket)
Babe Laufenberg & Bill Jones over at KTVT Channel 11 in Dallas are reporting (via Twitter) that Coach Stay-Puf, Wade Phillips, has been shown the door after yet another miserable loss, this time to the Packers at Green Bay, 7-45.
More later in the PFW mega-recap, plus a link when it becomes available.
UPDATE: And as promised…the link.
Jesus Genius” Garrett takes over on an interim basis, i.e. the rest of the season. Whereupon Owner Jethro will immdiately hire someone else on whom the other 31 teams passed, who will in turn spare all of us to death.
The more things change…
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 21:17
There will be NO communiques from the Southern Command of any type for at least the next three weeks.
I trust I make myself clear.
Posted by David Hartung @ 16:51
The Vicar has been told that on Sunday evening he may not watch his TV shows. It seems that his better half has this irrational addiction to some sort of game in which 22 guys fight over a pigskin bladder. Apparently something called the NFL Pre-season begins this week.
I ask you what is more important, watching a bunch of guys fight over a ball, or watching some “real men”(and one woman) wrestle big rigs up the Dalton to Prudhoe Bay?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 14:25
First, the Dallas C’girlz made it a point to say that they were going to make a big splash in free agency.
During combine, owner Jerry Jones predicted next season’s roster could feature 10 or more new players and talked about current players competing for playing time. Changes will come through free agency, draft or players already in organizations.
Then free agency started, and the ‘Girlz did a sit-by-the-phone bit while big-name free agents signed with other teams.
Now it doesn’t seem to be that much of a concern for Owner Jethro (hat tip once again to the Startlegram’s Gil LeBreton).
No one is better than Jerry Jones at providing a Jerry Jones-ism to describe the Cowboys’ approach thus far in the NFL’s uncapped year.
“There’s no angst about getting anxious here,” the Cowboys owner said. “We’re just watching it unfold.”
“We’re pleased with what we have in place with the Dallas Cowboys,” Jones said, “but if you look at our past several years, we’ve never jumped right out there in free agency.
“The last several years, we haven’t been big off the bat right out front.
Yeah, well – the last several years, the C’girls also haven’t been major players on the field – particularly so during, y’know Jerry, the playoffs.
I could be wrong here, but I’d venture to guess there’s something of a correlation. Particularly for a team that hasn’t been accused of drafting that well since Jimmy left.
Now, the Cowboys may – at some point – get to play the Super Bowl when it’s Arlington’s turn to host it.
Based on what I’ve seen so far, though, I’d say it won’t be this year.