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Those of you who follow baseball (you know who you are) are well aware that 2010 off-season prize pitcher Cliff Lee spurned both the Rangers and the Yankees in favor of the Pussydelphia Phillies.  Five years, about $100 extra-extra large (that’s million  for those of you in the Church of the SubTarded).

What you may not  know is that Lee’s agent told Rangers new owner Chuck Greenberg that all it would take for Lee to come back…was a guaranteed seventh year.

The Rangers presented Lee with a six-year offer that included an option for a seventh season. Apparently, guaranteeing the seventh season would have been enough to land Lee. That also would have reportedly taken the value of the contract past $160 million. It also would have been for two more guaranteed seasons than Lee ultimately signed for.

“There was a point at which we were told ‘if you do x, we’ll sign’,” Greenberg said. “Though we had been aggressive in pursuing him, that was beyond what we felt comfortable with, particularly in terms of years.”

So basically, what you’ve got here is the Rangers balking at a seventh year of guaranteed salary – an extra $20-some-odd million.

Now, the comments in this blog entry are running heavily in favor of the Rangers for not caving into Lee’s demand for that seventh year, by which time Lee would be nearing 40 years of age.  I – as you might’ve guessed – have a different view.

Cliff Lee is a way-above-average quality pitcher.  As of now, at 33 years old, he’s an ace.  A number-one-spot pitching stud.  The type that doesn’t come along very often, and hasn’t around here in roughly 30 years.

At age 40, the skills may well have diminished, but the guess from here is that he’ll still be a good fourth or fifth starter.  Considering that the Rangers tried folks like Rich Harden, Scott Feldman, Doug Mathis, Dustin Nippert and Matt Harrison in the fifth spot last season, they could certainly do worse.  Besides, this guy isn’t Chan-Ho Park.  Cliff Lee knows how to get people out in parks other  than Dodger Stadium.

The Rangers, in desperate need of continued street credibility after their World Series appearance last year – spit the bit and choked on the asking price.  In other words, the current Greenberg/Nolan Ryan regime did exactly what its predecessor did – turned squeamish at a good pitcher asking a high price.

The guess from here is that they fail to make any significant progress in this year’s free agency, just like Tom Hicks failed to do after signing Alex Rodriguez, and they will wallow around in good-but-not-good-enough mediocrity the next few years.

And I’ll be there laughing at them, saying, “WITY?”

Memo to the stRangerS:  Mark my words, chumps.  I will have fucking  told you so!



American League Champions


(Yeah, Jon Daniels & Ron
, I guess you guys can stay.)



It says here – according to Dullest Moaning Snooze hockey guru Mike Heika, anyway – that notorious pussified union thug Donald Fehr is going to head the NHL Players’ Union.

I stayed away from baseball for many a year because of a motherfucking mongoloid – and I do mean that in the aboslute worst of ways – like Donna Fehr.  (I stay away now, primarily because – until this year, anyway – the stRangerS have been god-awful…but also because their manager got caught doing crack last year, and the Texass lack of organization saw fit not to get rid of him.)

I can stay away from hockey, too.  And for as long as it takes, until more intelligent heads can prevail and realize Donna Fehr is nothing short of a first-class asshole.

Puck’s in your end of the ice, NHLPA.


Behold the savior  of the Texass stRangerS! 

(For the record, the Orioles – one of the worst teams in the American League, if not all of baseball – won the season series from Our Pathetic Wuss-asses™, 6-3, with one game to play.

The funny thing is that some morons around here actually think the stRangerS are actually gonna make it to the World Series.    )


(Hat tip to Supreme General Rayegun – dinner’s on me next time you’re up here, buddy!)

Final score from Disch-Falk Field in Austin, TX, in the NCAA Super Regional for the right to go to Omaha for the College World Series:

T-sip U Shortdicks 1…

Texas Christian Horned Frogs…4




As if on cue.

Remember, Denizens, when I said:

Well, here’s a question for you: what if the Yankees & Red Sox don’t ever trail Texas this weekend – or worse, bomb the crap out of the pitching staff? What if the Rangers never even get the _chance_ to use either Oliver, Frankie Frank or Feliz? (It’s less of a chance this year than prior years, but work with me here.) You will have then wasted a chance to win a game you should have won, all for a scenario that never presented itself.

Noo Yawk won Friday’s rain-shortened, six-inning game, 5-1.  And won today, 7-3, after leading most of the day, 7-0.

Tomorrow’s matchup is the Yankees’ patient offense vs. Rich Harden, who hasn’t proven yet he can put people away if he doesn’t strike them out.  I tend to think that’ll be a bloodbath, too.

UPDATE:  And they get swept, 5-2.  Mheh. 

Well?  WITY™?

Somebody needs to go buy me a swami’s hat ASAP. 


As some of you know, I’m an occasional participant in the Dullest Moaning Snooze’s  baseball blog.

After the Tex-ass stRangerS’ 3-2 loss to Cleveland (Cleveland?) yesterday, I opined here that it was “another nail in (manager) Ron Washington’s managerial coffin”.

For that, I was somewhat semi-roasted.

Well, you guys know me.

MERLIN:  Do we ever.

VENOMOUS:  Oh, hush.


Anyway, my response to everyone who took a shot at me is below the fold.  It’s more for them than for you guys, but feel free to read it anyway. 

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


Last year, Bambi got his skanky little ass ab-so-friggin’-lutely roasted  at Major League Baseball’s All-Star because – well – he throws like a fucking girl.

MERLIN:  Isn’t that a little offensive to, y’know, girls?

VENOMOUS:  What of it?  Here, have a look for yerself.



K’HADIBAK’H:  The p’tahk.

KORRIOTH:  Damn.  Just, damn.

So you’d think he’d bone up on his delivery, right?  I mean, he’s got time to be doing March Madness brackets, piss off our allies and make an embarrassment of himself in general, right?

Here (s)he is at Opening Day yesterday for the Washington Nationals’ game against the Philadelphia Phillies:

T-BONE MCMANX:  Oh.  My.  Gawd.

KORRIOTH:  Great.  Honkin’.  Cthulu.

OZY MCCOOL:  Pathetic.

MERLIN:  Didn’t learn much from last year, did he?

VENOMOUS:  Sad thing is that he was probably the best pitcher for the Nationals yesterday.  Phillies destroyed ‘em, 11-1.

RAYEGUN:  That’s Washington for ya.  First in war, first in peace…

ALL:  …last in the National League. 


(Hat tip Michelle.)

Shades of Rodney King.

In a perfect world, Zen Master Philicia and his little band of merry men (including Thug Kobe) would be banned from the NBA playoffs for the next five years, regardless of record.

Just sayin’.

(Yeah, I know the Clippers are there, as well.  Like they ever make the playoffs?    )


We have an economy swirling down the drain, an excuse-for-a-Cabinet full of fuckin’ tax cheats, a pisspot excuse-for-an-Attorney General threatening to release terrorists into our general population (when he’s not practicing his projection skills by calling us “cowards”), allies who no longer have all that much respect for us, thanks to who the 52′ers put in office…and what does the Ayatollah Obambi focus on?

Why, the NCAA brackets, of course.  Duh.  (/snark)

What leadership 


Generally, guys, I distrust the media.


Hush, you.


Anyway, this from a member of the Fifth Column Fourth Estate brought a chuckle to my day.

Spew & nod warnings.


Last week, two girls “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) basketball teams played a game.  And one team showed obvious superiority over the other.  Perhaps you heard about it.

Kinda reminded me of some of the games I had to witness between my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets and Fort Worth Dunbar’s perennial Texas HS champion Wildcats.  (For the Uninitiated™, I was the Jackets’ BB manager at the time, so I didn’t have much choice – I had  to watch those debacles.)  In fact, I imagine a few of you SMUT types could probably relate.  Especially those of you who were around for a certain game back in 1989.

Anyway, yesterday – after the head coach expressed disagreement with the wimp-assed apology offered by the school’s excuse-for-a-headmaster – said headmaster canned said coach.

It goes a long way towards showing, IYAM, just how pussified our country has become.  A coach’s team runs it up on an opponent who, quite frankly, shouldn’t even be on the same court with any team in that league in the first place, and that coach gets his ass bitched at and dumped.  Hell™ – as much uproar as there is over this nationally, it’s a damned wonder said winning coach hasn’t yet been accused of child abuse.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m all for sportsmanship.  But I also think that, if you’re going to play, play.  Dallas Academy’s coach could have chosen to take his team off the floor after three quarters – or better yet, refused to come out after halftime – and the score would have automatically become 2-0.  Two-zip doesn’t quite look as imposing as 100-0, y’know?

But DA’s coach didn’t do that.  He kept running them out there, and they kept trying.  And they kept failing.

And there’s no shame in that.

I mean, c’mon.  This is a high-school game, for Cthulu’s sake.  No one’s fewwings  are going to be long-term hurt over this.  No one is going to suffer some sort of psychosis over being on the short end of a 100-0 score.  For there to be this  kind of reaction to the final score – and for the winning coach to lose his job over it – is just flat-out asinine in the extreme.

But that’s what you get when you’ve become a country full of pussies.


(H/T to the SpatulaGoddess.)

Those of you at Stephen F. Austin University who thought that TCU was running up the score on you Saturday night…

(SIDE NOTE:  I do, however, think it was rather classless of the TCU student section to do “Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye” towards the end of the game.  I’m with you guys there.)

Awright, where was I…?  Ah, yes…

…or even you of the Shitland Pony persuasion over there at SMUT who still get steamed over 95-21 at the hands of UHouston…

Consider the plight of the Bulgarian women’s hockey team, who not only got soundly whipped by Slovakia’s women, 82-0…they got out-shot, 139-0.

Go read it yourself if you don’t believe me.

“We took it as training,” Slovakia coach Miroslav Karafiat said after Saturday’s game.

Someone over here hire that guy as a coach.  He’s one hell of an eternal optimist.

Bulgaria trailed 7-0 after 5 minutes, 19-0 after 10 and 31-0 at the end of the first period.

The drubbing capped a woeful showing for the Bulgarian women, who also lost 30-1 to Croatia and 41-0 to Italy in earlier games.


Bulgaria was eliminated after scoring one goal and giving up conceding 192 in the tournament.

Damn.  Just, damn.


Great Honkin’ Cthulu, you people do.  Not.  Know!!!!  how badly I was hoping this would happen.

Background:  About a month ago, there was a brouhaha of Olympic-sized proportions when he got his probably illegal or anchor-baby ugly ass kicked off the US Olympic boxing team for leaving training camp.

The excuse?  Oh, boo hoo hooooooo, his widdle sister was in rehab and ¡¡¡ELLA LO NECESITADA POR SU LADO, MALDITA SEA!!!  (translation:  NEEDED HIM BY HER SIDE, DAMMIT!!!)

He begged to come back.  Pleaded.  Cajoled.  The US Olympic Committee, for once in it’s miserable existence, stood firm.

So the little prick-ito did what any little Messican boy of his stripe nowadays would do:  He hired a couple of ambulance-chasers attorneys, implying that he might sue.

Well, it was apparently enough for the spine of the USOC to suddenly change back into linguini, as they subsequently reinstated the punk.

All the Olympic-sized soap opera one could ever hope for – which, today, proved to be all for naught, as Yanez just got finished having his gangsta ass handed to him.

Shawn Estrada and Luis Yanez both lost their second-round bouts Saturday, leaving only two American boxers in the Olympic tournament.

Estrada was handed an 11-5 loss by James Degale of Britain in the middleweight division and Yanez suffered an 8-7 setback against Serdamba Purevdorj of Mongolia.

Justice.  Buford…T…Justice.  There is  a God. 


For those of you who have been keeping up on the medal counts, maybe you should change what you’re keeping track of. Like the number of LIES and FALLACIES that the Chinese are pulling right in front of the TV cameras.

For starters, the opening ceremony had loads of fakes. From the fake fireworks to a lip-syncing singer. It’s bloody hilarious when govermental coverup is so blatantly obvious on such a large scale.

But wait, it’s gets better. Much better!!!!

If you were one of the dozens or so people that DVR’d the opening ceremony, check out this story, then check it out for yourself. If you didn’t DVR the ceremony, then you gotta read that story! Here’s a snippit:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


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(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

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