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Those of you who follow baseball (you know who you are) are well aware that 2010 off-season prize pitcher Cliff Lee spurned both the Rangers and the Yankees in favor of the Pussydelphia Phillies.&#160 Five years, about $100 extra-extra large (that’s million&#160 for those of you in the Church of the SubTarded).

What you may not&#160 know is that Lee’s agent told Rangers new owner Chuck Greenberg that all it would take for Lee to come back…was a guaranteed seventh year.

The Rangers presented Lee with a six-year offer that included an option for a seventh season. Apparently, guaranteeing the seventh season would have been enough to land Lee. That also would have reportedly taken the value of the contract past $160 million. It also would have been for two more guaranteed seasons than Lee ultimately signed for.

“There was a point at which we were told ‘if you do x, we’ll sign’,” Greenberg said. “Though we had been aggressive in pursuing him, that was beyond what we felt comfortable with, particularly in terms of years.”

So basically, what you’ve got here is the Rangers balking at a seventh year of guaranteed salary – an extra $20-some-odd million.

Now, the comments in this blog entry are running heavily in favor of the Rangers for not caving into Lee’s demand for that seventh year, by which time Lee would be nearing 40 years of age.&#160 I – as you might’ve guessed – have a different view.

Cliff Lee is a way-above-average quality pitcher.&#160 As of now, at 33 years old, he’s an ace.&#160 A number-one-spot pitching stud.&#160 The type that doesn’t come along very often, and hasn’t around here in roughly 30 years.

At age 40, the skills may well have diminished, but the guess from here is that he’ll still be a good fourth or fifth starter.&#160 Considering that the Rangers tried folks like Rich Harden, Scott Feldman, Doug Mathis, Dustin Nippert and Matt Harrison in the fifth spot last season, they could certainly do worse.&#160 Besides, this guy isn’t Chan-Ho Park.&#160 Cliff Lee knows how to get people out in parks other&#160 than Dodger Stadium.

The Rangers, in desperate need of continued street credibility after their World Series appearance last year – spit the bit and choked on the asking price.&#160 In other words, the current Greenberg/Nolan Ryan regime did exactly what its predecessor did – turned squeamish at a good pitcher asking a high price.

The guess from here is that they fail to make any significant progress in this year’s free agency, just like Tom Hicks failed to do after signing Alex Rodriguez, and they will wallow around in good-but-not-good-enough mediocrity the next few years.

And I’ll be there laughing at them, saying, “WITY?”

Memo to the stRangerS:&#160 Mark my words, chumps.&#160 I will have fucking&#160 told you so!

Texas
Rangers

2010
American League Champions

(Yeah, Jon Daniels & Ron
Washington, I guess you guys can stay.)

It says here – according to Dullest Moaning Snooze hockey guru Mike Heika, anyway – that notorious pussified union thug Donald Fehr is going to head the NHL Players’ Union.

I stayed away from baseball for many a year because of a motherfucking mongoloid – and I do mean that in the aboslute worst of ways – like Donna Fehr.&#160 (I stay away now, primarily because – until this year, anyway – the stRangerS have been god-awful…but also because their manager got caught doing crack last year, and the Texass lack of organization saw fit not to get rid of him.)

I can stay away from hockey, too.&#160 And for as long as it takes, until more intelligent heads can prevail and realize Donna Fehr is nothing short of a first-class asshole.

Puck’s in your end of the ice, NHLPA.

Behold the savior&#160 of the Texass stRangerS!&#160

(For the record, the Orioles – one of the worst teams in the American League, if not all of baseball – won the season series from Our Pathetic Wuss-asses&#153, 6-3, with one game to play.

The funny thing is that some morons around here actually think the stRangerS are actually gonna make it to the World Series.&#160 &#160 )

(Hat tip to Supreme General Rayegun – dinner’s on me next time you’re up here, buddy!)

Final score from Disch-Falk Field in Austin, TX, in the NCAA Super Regional for the right to go to Omaha for the College World Series:

T-sip U Shortdicks 1…

Texas Christian Horned Frogs…4

TAKE THAT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR BURNT ORANGE PUSSY ASSES, T-SIPPERS!!!!!1!!ONE!!1!!!!!ELEVENTYDOZENMILLION!!1!!

GO FROGS!!!!!

As if on cue.

Remember, Denizens, when I said:

Well, here’s a question for you: what if the Yankees & Red Sox don’t ever trail Texas this weekend – or worse, bomb the crap out of the pitching staff? What if the Rangers never even get the _chance_ to use either Oliver, Frankie Frank or Feliz? (It’s less of a chance this year than prior years, but work with me here.) You will have then wasted a chance to win a game you should have won, all for a scenario that never presented itself.

Noo Yawk won Friday’s rain-shortened, six-inning game, 5-1.&#160 And won today, 7-3, after leading most of the day, 7-0.

Tomorrow’s matchup is the Yankees’ patient offense vs. Rich Harden, who hasn’t proven yet he can put people away if he doesn’t strike them out.&#160 I tend to think that’ll be a bloodbath, too.

UPDATE:&#160 And they get swept, 5-2.&#160 Mheh.&#160

Well?&#160 WITY&#153?

Somebody needs to go buy me a swami’s hat ASAP.&#160

As some of you know, I’m an occasional participant in the Dullest Moaning Snooze’s&#160 baseball blog.

After the Tex-ass stRangerS’ 3-2 loss to Cleveland (Cleveland?) yesterday, I opined here that it was “another nail in (manager) Ron Washington’s managerial coffin”.

For that, I was somewhat semi-roasted.

Well, you guys know me.

MERLIN:&#160 Do we ever.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Oh, hush.

MERLIN:&#160

Anyway, my response to everyone who took a shot at me is below the fold.&#160 It’s more for them than for you guys, but feel free to read it anyway.&#160

Okay, now that I’ve had a chance to get all the work stuff out of the way, I can respond to some of my fan mail. (cough)

“Yeah, Spats! What was Washington thinking, telling the offense not to hit?”

Son, the last person on this blog that tried being a smart-*** with me got his head handed to him. He didn’t come back much after that.

Word to the wise. And you.

Now. Looked to me today like the Rangers, while not bashing the ball all over the park, had hit enough to have amassed a 2-0 lead. I’d say that that seemed enough to win the game, given a closer that throws in the 100s.

Yeah, I’d like to have seen a 13-3 rout, but you don’t get those every day, do you?

Now for Mr…uh…well…Norm:

“I can understand Wash trying to nurse Harrison through the 8th. And I think any criticism of the decision is unreasonable.”

Really. Do you, now? So you have no problem leaving a pitcher who only last year had surgery for thoracic outlet syndrome, and whom had already thrown about 110 pitches or so, out there to pitch to the go-ahead run with what was very likely a fatigued arm at that point?

Ooooooooo…kayyyyyy. (Cue the rolling eyes here.)

“It’s also reasonable to assume that Wash wanted a fully-rested bullpen for this weekend in New York”

Well, here’s a question for you: what if the Yankees & Red Sox don’t ever trail Texas this weekend – or worse, bomb the crap out of the pitching staff? What if the Rangers never even get the _chance_ to use either Oliver, Frankie Frank or Feliz? (It’s less of a chance this year than prior years, but work with me here.) You will have then wasted a chance to win a game you should have won, all for a scenario that never presented itself.

The point: Use what you have when you need it. You won’t get that chance again. This game has a funny way of making yesterday’s decisions look stupid today or tomorrow.

Awright, now for our next contestant…

“How are errors by Michael Young and Elvis Andrus Wash’s fault? Yeah, it’s the manager! Give me a break buddy.

Guess the players aren’t responsible for the loss?”

If Washington brings in his bullpen at that point, and they _still_ tank, okay, we can rip both MY and Andrus – and probably still should, anyway.

That said, a fresh arm was still the best course of action at that point, and RW didn’t exercise it. This has been a weakness of his throughout his entire time here – he’s never handled a pitching staff as well as a major league manager ought to. And it’s already cost him three games this year.

Now, the first one Frankie bombed, I’ll give him that one – who knew? But not after that. RW has _got_ to learn how to better manage a pitching staff if he wants to win here.

Next…

“Not the guys who objectively question the managers in-game decisions…but the guys who BLAME every loss on the manager. (see spats)

No offense spats.”

None necessarily taken, Red. I’m hoping you’ve at least been around long enough to know I don’t just mindlessly rant about this stuff.

And I’m not blaming _every_ loss directly on Wash. Harden’s first start was pure crap. _He_ needs to learn to pitch more efficiently. He’d better, because Tommy-gun will be back soon, and I can see making him the #2 and putting Harden in middle relief. (No, I don’t care what his salary is. If he can only go once through the order like he did against TOR, he’s a middle-inning guy.)

Now there are a couple more things I need to remind you guys of:

1) RW is on a short leash this year. JD & Nolan haven’t said as much, but there’s a reason Wash doesn’t have his extension for last year’s success. If the Rangers aren’t squarely in contention on June 1, I think that we can start the Wash Watch. Ergo, he can’t afford to be giving games away this early.

2) How many times have we been told the last two-three years that _this_ year was what this franchise was shooting for? All the crappy trades – Young for Eaton/Aki, Danks for Herky-Jerky McStringbean, Volquez for Hamilton (who really needs to prove he’s more than just a one-half-season wonder), letting Galarraga go to Detroit for nothing – all of that, plus the subsequent deals for Salty, Andrus, etc. – we’ve been asked to bear with JD & company through all that, plus the mediocre baseball that followed, because in 2010, they were supposed to turn it on and begin the serious competition, not just for a division crown, but for their first World Series berth.

Remember that?

I do. Every time one of us screamed about the lousy trades, or about JD, or whatever, it was “Wait until 2010 – that’s when the kids will have all grown up and we can start seriously competing for a pennant…”

So this year, yeah – the standards are a little higher. As they should be. It’s put-up-or-shut-up time for JD, Nolan and RW. They need to be playing meaningful games in _late_ September (and beyond) if they want to be taken seriously going forward.

So far, I’m not terribly impressed.

Last year, Bambi got his skanky little ass ab-so-friggin’-lutely roasted&#160 at Major League Baseball’s All-Star because – well – he throws like a fucking girl.

MERLIN:&#160 Isn’t that a little offensive to, y’know, girls?

VENOMOUS:&#160 What of it?&#160 Here, have a look for yerself.

MERLIN:&#160 Ew.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Gross.

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 The p’tahk.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Damn.&#160 Just, damn.

So you’d think he’d bone up on his delivery, right?&#160 I mean, he’s got time to be doing March Madness brackets, piss off our allies and make an embarrassment of himself in general, right?

Here (s)he is at Opening Day yesterday for the Washington Nationals’ game against the Philadelphia Phillies:

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Oh.&#160 My.&#160 Gawd.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Great.&#160 Honkin’.&#160 Cthulu.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Pathetic.

MERLIN:&#160 Didn’t learn much from last year, did he?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Sad thing is that he was probably the best pitcher for the Nationals yesterday.&#160 Phillies destroyed ’em, 11-1.

RAYEGUN:&#160 That’s Washington for ya.&#160 First in war, first in peace…

ALL:&#160 …last in the National League.&#160

(Hat tip Michelle.)

Shades of Rodney King.

In a perfect world, Zen Master Philicia and his little band of merry men (including Thug Kobe) would be banned from the NBA playoffs for the next five years, regardless of record.

Just sayin’.

(Yeah, I know the Clippers are there, as well.&#160 Like they ever make the playoffs?&#160 &#160 )

We have an economy swirling down the drain, an excuse-for-a-Cabinet full of fuckin’ tax cheats, a pisspot excuse-for-an-Attorney General threatening to release terrorists into our general population (when he’s not practicing his projection skills by calling us “cowards”), allies who no longer have all that much respect for us, thanks to who the 52’ers put in office…and what does the Ayatollah Obambi focus on?

Why, the NCAA brackets, of course.&#160 Duh.&#160 (/snark)

What leadership&#160

Generally, guys, I distrust the media.

MERLIN, KORRIOTH, OZY, K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 NAWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Hush, you.

MERLIN, KORRIOTH, OZY, K’HADIBAK’H:&#160

Anyway, this from a member of the Fifth Column Fourth Estate brought a chuckle to my day.

Spew & nod warnings.

Last week, two girls “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) basketball teams played a game.&#160 And one team showed obvious superiority over the other.&#160 Perhaps you heard about it.

Kinda reminded me of some of the games I had to witness between my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets and Fort Worth Dunbar’s perennial Texas HS champion Wildcats.&#160 (For the Uninitiated&#153, I was the Jackets’ BB manager at the time, so I didn’t have much choice – I had&#160 to watch those debacles.)&#160 In fact, I imagine a few of you SMUT types could probably relate.&#160 Especially those of you who were around for a certain game back in 1989.

Anyway, yesterday – after the head coach expressed disagreement with the wimp-assed apology offered by the school’s excuse-for-a-headmaster – said headmaster canned said coach.

It goes a long way towards showing, IYAM, just how pussified our country has become.&#160 A coach’s team runs it up on an opponent who, quite frankly, shouldn’t even be on the same court with any team in that league in the first place, and that coach gets his ass bitched at and dumped.&#160 Hell&#153 – as much uproar as there is over this nationally, it’s a damned wonder said winning coach hasn’t yet been accused of child abuse.

Don’t get me wrong.&#160 I’m all for sportsmanship.&#160 But I also think that, if you’re going to play, play.&#160 Dallas Academy’s coach could have chosen to take his team off the floor after three quarters – or better yet, refused to come out after halftime – and the score would have automatically become 2-0.&#160 Two-zip doesn’t quite look as imposing as 100-0, y’know?

But DA’s coach didn’t do that.&#160 He kept running them out there, and they kept trying.&#160 And they kept failing.

And there’s no shame in that.

I mean, c’mon.&#160 This is a high-school game, for Cthulu’s sake.&#160 No one’s fewwings&#160 are going to be long-term hurt over this.&#160 No one is going to suffer some sort of psychosis over being on the short end of a 100-0 score.&#160 For there to be this&#160 kind of reaction to the final score – and for the winning coach to lose his job over it – is just flat-out asinine in the extreme.

But that’s what you get when you’ve become a country full of pussies.

(H/T to the SpatulaGoddess.)

Those of you at Stephen F. Austin University who thought that TCU was running up the score on you Saturday night…

(SIDE NOTE:&#160 I do, however, think it was rather classless of the TCU student section to do “Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye” towards the end of the game.&#160 I’m with you guys there.)

Awright, where was I…?&#160 Ah, yes…

…or even you of the Shitland Pony persuasion over there at SMUT who still get steamed over 95-21 at the hands of UHouston…

Consider the plight of the Bulgarian women’s hockey team, who not only got soundly whipped by Slovakia’s women, 82-0…they got out-shot, 139-0.

Go read it yourself if you don’t believe me.

“We took it as training,” Slovakia coach Miroslav Karafiat said after Saturday’s game.

Someone over here hire that guy as a coach.&#160 He’s one hell of an eternal optimist.

Bulgaria trailed 7-0 after 5 minutes, 19-0 after 10 and 31-0 at the end of the first period.

The drubbing capped a woeful showing for the Bulgarian women, who also lost 30-1 to Croatia and 41-0 to Italy in earlier games.

[…]

Bulgaria was eliminated after scoring one goal and giving up conceding 192 in the tournament.

Damn.&#160 Just, damn.

Great Honkin’ Cthulu, you people do.&#160 Not.&#160 Know!!!!&#160 how badly I was hoping this would happen.

Background:&#160 About a month ago, there was a brouhaha of Olympic-sized proportions when he got his probably illegal or anchor-baby ugly ass kicked off the US Olympic boxing team for leaving training camp.

The excuse?&#160 Oh, boo hoo hooooooo, his widdle sister was in rehab and ¡¡¡ELLA LO NECESITADA POR SU LADO, MALDITA SEA!!!&#160 (translation:&#160 NEEDED HIM BY HER SIDE, DAMMIT!!!)

He begged to come back.&#160 Pleaded.&#160 Cajoled.&#160 The US Olympic Committee, for once in it’s miserable existence, stood firm.

So the little prick-ito did what any little Messican boy of his stripe nowadays would do:&#160 He hired a couple of ambulance-chasers attorneys, implying that he might sue.

Well, it was apparently enough for the spine of the USOC to suddenly change back into linguini, as they subsequently reinstated the punk.

All the Olympic-sized soap opera one could ever hope for – which, today, proved to be all for naught, as Yanez just got finished having his gangsta ass handed to him.

Shawn Estrada and Luis Yanez both lost their second-round bouts Saturday, leaving only two American boxers in the Olympic tournament.

Estrada was handed an 11-5 loss by James Degale of Britain in the middleweight division and Yanez suffered an 8-7 setback against Serdamba Purevdorj of Mongolia.

Justice.&#160 Buford…T…Justice.&#160 There is&#160 a God.&#160

For those of you who have been keeping up on the medal counts, maybe you should change what you’re keeping track of. Like the number of LIES and FALLACIES that the Chinese are pulling right in front of the TV cameras.

For starters, the opening ceremony had loads of fakes. From the fake fireworks to a lip-syncing singer. It’s bloody hilarious when govermental coverup is so blatantly obvious on such a large scale.

But wait, it’s gets better. Much better!!!!

If you were one of the dozens or so people that DVR’d the opening ceremony, check out this story, then check it out for yourself. If you didn’t DVR the ceremony, then you gotta read that story! Here’s a snippit:

Well, this is just perfect. At the exact moment Li Ning was rounding the lip of the Bird’s Nest during the amazing torch-lighting climax, someone snapped this photo of our good friend the BSOD nestled among the Nest’s steel twigs.

What’s more is….retired Microsoft big man himself, Billy-Boy Gates was in attendance there at the ceremony. No word on any comment from Gates-y boy that I’ve found so far. But as you’ll remember, Billy-boy has some history with that particular “malfunction“.

Here’s the video if’n you want to reminisce:

And now the latest fake appears to be with the Chinese “women’s” gymnastic team. Or should we say “little girl’s” and not women’s. Seems that the Chinese, given their supposed mastery of things like simple math, don’t know the difference between 16 and 13. Even worse, it looks like the IOC is gonna give a pass on this atrocity…..much like the lame-swine media has passed on digging up the dirt on Breck Boy.

Anyone wanna guess what’s gonna get faked next by the Chinese?