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The Texass stRangers once had on their roster a relief pitcher by the name of Greg Harris.

Harris wasn’t a bad pitcher, per se – in fact, for a couple of years, he served as their closer – but what set him apart was this little known fact:&#160 He could pitch with either hand.&#160 There were even rumors that he was working on a special glove to do just that.

Ever since then, I’d always wondered what would happen if he were to try that, and a switch hitter – say, Pete Rose, for example – were to come up to bat with the idea to switch to either side of the plate in an effort to counter the switch-pitcher.

Well, now we have our answer.

In his professional debut, Pat Venditte of the Staten Island Yankees – a natural right-hander whose father taught him to pitch with either arm – played cat-and-mouse in the ninth inning with the Brooklyn Cyclones’ Ralph Henriquez as each player tried to gain an advantage, holding up the game for seven minutes.

Check out the video:

Given that there was a runner on first, I might have wanted my pitcher to stay with the left hand, for the better pickoff attempt.&#160 That’s just me, though.&#160

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Denizens, I still got nothing – trying to slog one’s way through an A+ course curriculum will do that (don’t get me wrong – I already have an A+ cert, but it’s eight years old as of this year and the material has been severely upgraded since then).

But even though you’ve probably already seen this, I thought it was a good thing to highlight.

Besides, it beats the hell out of ripping Roger “Horndog on Steroids” Clemens for wanting to bang every other woman in the world not&#160 named Debbie Clemens.&#160 Who, I might add, got her gorgeous ass thrown under the bus during Congressional testimony:

10:37 – McNamee related another discussion with Clemens about using HGH and, once again, Clemens blamed his wife and said that she was the one using the drugs, not him. Classy move to blame the wife. Jimmy Dugan would be proud.

If I’m a baseball owner, I’d sooner have Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace on my team than Roger Clemens.&#160 And you can quote me.

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One of the reasons that I ever opened Spatula City BBS! in the first place was to say what I wanted to say, when I wanted to say it.

And it looks like I’m gonna have to exercise that particular perrogative again now.

Some background for you:&#160 Tonight the NHL’s Dallas Stars won their first playoff series in five years, 4-2, with a 4-1 Game 6 win over the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim Anaheim Ducks.

Now, the Dullest Moaning Snooze hosts a blog that talks about the Stars and the NHL.&#160 And I’m a participant therein.&#160 And right now, there’s a thread in which one of the commenters seems to think that those of us who didn’t think a whole helluva lot of the Stars chances shouldn’t have the right to say so.

The thread is here.&#160 Pay particular attention to what “Chris from Kzoo” is saying

The following response is for him (since the powers-that-be over at the DMS won’t allow a response (incidentally, it was a lot cleaner than what you’re about to read):

“DIAF”

Oh, wow, my fewwings are soooooooo&#160 hurt. Tell me, little wussboy, did you have to wipe the orange from the Cheetos off your fingers before you typed that?&#160 Or perhaps you could only type your bullshit with one hand whilst tossing to Pee Wee Herman with the other, hm?

“This blog was put here for the fans. Those who seek only to diss this team before the games are even played do not fall into that catagory”

What, because you&#160 say so? That blog isn’t your personal property, remember? You don’t get to decide who can or can’t be there.

Sucks to be you, doesn’t it?

You don’t like that, assclown, get your own fucking blog.

“And yes, that is my personal preference; as many have pointed out to the (now invisible) Duck fans”

Oh, so I’m a Duck fan now? Tell me, in your infinite wisdom (cough), what was I when the Stars blew a three-goal lead to the Kings last month? Was I a Kings fan then?

Inquiring minds want to know!

“Naysayers, commission a poll here if you want; the admins can help you out. We, the fans, do not want you here”

And I don’t give a flying fuck at a donut hole what&#160 you shit-for-brains Pollyannas want.

If the Stars play like crap, I’m going to point it out. And as long as I follow the rules of the Stars blog, I’m going to point it out there.

Tough fucking shit if you don’t like it.

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It is a happy day in the Realm&#153.

Barry Bonds was indicted Thursday for perjury and obstruction of justice, charged with lying when he told a federal grand jury that he did not knowingly use performance-enhancing drugs.

And it’s about damned time, too.

“Didn’t know what [he] was taking”, my lily-white cracker ass.

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ITEM:&#160 All season long, the Texass stRangers have been insisting that there’s nothing wrong with Vicente Padilla’s arm, despite the fact that he’s 3-8 with a 6.69 ERA in 15 starts this season.

ITEM:&#160 Padilla went on the 15-day Dl with what they’re calling “triceps inflammation behind the right elbow”.

Oh.&#160

As the credibility slide for this franchise continues…

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In other earth-shattering news, the sun rose in the East, water was found to be wet, and liberals were exposed as absolute morons.

Film at 11. (yawn)

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