Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





[SCENE:&#160 Engineering section of ISS Pegasus.&#160 The ship has, once again, been subject to a series of wormholes from attempting to enter warp after assurances from Captain Korrioth and Lieutenant Cmdr. Ozymandias McCool that the intermix formula for the new warp core had been properly calibrated and was in perfect balance.&#160 Korrioth & McCool have just picked themselves up off the deck.

The Engineering doors slide open.&#160 Through the doorway strides a hooded figure, headed straight for the duo.&#160 Under the hood, one sees two blazing mini-stars where eyes would normally be.

The figure closes to within ten feet of Korrioth & McCool, then makes a sweeping gesture to his right.&#160 Both McCool and the Klingon-Vulcan hybrid are catapulted into the nearest bulkhead with considerably significant force.&#160 They crumple to the floor and do not move.

Without waiting to see the effect of the gesture, the hooded figure stretches out his hand.

From the belt of the robe, a long cylindrical object jumps to the outstretched hand.&#160 As the hand closes around the tubular object, a long, bright energy projection, purple in color, exudes from one end.

The figure takes two steps to his left, towards the Jawa on McCool’s crew and swings this sword of light.&#160 The beam catches the unfortunate Jawa at the neck and beheads him.

The remainder of the conscious Engineering crew dives for cover, leaving the hooded figure standing alone.&#160 The being looks from side to side and around behind him, then raises the sword to a salute and touches a control on the hilt.&#160 The purple beam disappears back into the tube.

Only then does the figure remove his hood to reveal Lord Darth Venomous, whose face is still contorted into a ferocious rage.&#160 He turns to glare at the still-unconscious Korrioth & McCool, then strides towards a computer control panel near the newly-installed warp core.

Another gesture, and the panel cover underneath flies off, revealing several banks of isolinear chips.&#160 Venomous studies the panel for a long moment, then closes his eyes & extends his hands.&#160 They move slowly, silently, as if the Sith Lord’s fingertips are actually touching the chips.

Abruptly, the hands stop.&#160 Venomous, his eyes still closed, cocks his head slightly; his mood & facial expression have changed significantly.

Two fingers motion towards the panel, and two isolinear chips – one from near the top and one at the bottom – slip out of their respective ports, cross and land in those of their counterparts’ slots.

Venomous opens his eyes, steps towards a keypad on the panel, and touches one key.

The effect is instaneous.&#160 The warp core, heretofore emitting a dull glow, springs to life with a nearly blinding light.&#160 The Dark Jedi touches another control and the intense light recedes somewhat.&#160 Venomous looks at the still-unconscious forms of Korrioth & McCool.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Next time you need my help, p’tahkmey, ask me!!!!!

Took a little bit, but the new solid-state hard drive is online and humming along nicely.

This is a nice piece of technology-ery.&#160 &#160 It’s like having a 32-gigabyte flash drive running your system.&#160 Way faster than a standard IDE or SCSI drive, and probably more durable as well, seeing as there are no moving parts.&#160 Already the latency which was a problem on the old SCSI system drive has disappeared.

Only bad thing is that it’s only a 32-gig drive instead of the 64 that I wanted, but that’s only a minor annoyance.&#160 Once I get a second one for the swap file, this system, already screaming, will run at near transwarp speeds.&#160

Next step: SSDs for the rest of the systems in my network.&#160 Stay tuned.

_____________________________________________________





[SCENE:&#160 Realm&#153 spacedock, where ISS Pegasus&#160 floats quietly in a maintenance hangar.

Cut to interior view:&#160 Engineering.&#160 Lieutenant Cmdr. Ozymandias McCool and his engineering staff – which consist primarily of an overworked Jawa, three Ewoks and two pair of Bynars – are putting the finishing touches on installation of a new warp core.

The Engineering doors open and we see Admiral Darth Venomous and Captain Korrioth stride in, making a beeline for McCool.]

OZY MCCOOL (loudly):&#160 ADMIRAL ON DECK!!!

VENOMOUS:&#160 At ease.&#160 McCool, report.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Installation of warp core complete, m’lord; we’re performing the final quality checks now.&#160 We will begin testing and calibration in three hours.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Excellent, Commander, excellent.&#160 Submit a timetable for testing the new transwarp drive to the captain upon completion.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 (nods) Aye, sir.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Korrioth, you will render whatever assistance the commander needs with fine-tuning the intermix settings.&#160 I went through enough wormholes the last time, understood?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Understood clearly, Admiral.&#160 (throwing a wolfish grin McCool’s way)

VENOMOUS:&#160 Without&#160 the painstick, Captain.

[The look of extreme disappointment & angst is written all over Korrioth’s face.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 (grunt)

Denizens, I’ll be taking the Big Box&#153 down shortly to install a new SATA-type solid-state hard drive.&#160 Not that you guys will notice anything, but I’ll be slightly more incommunicado than usual.

ThatIsAll&#153.

_____________________________________________________




The Department of “Gee, Why Didn’t I Think Of That?” alerts us to this future Neiman’s catalog item – a female robot.

One wonders what the feminazis at NAG NOW would think about this.&#160

Devoted Aiko — “in her 20s” — has a stunning 32-23-33 figure, pretty face and shiny hair.

She is always happy to clean the house for “husband” Le, help with his accounts or get him a drink.

Computer ace Le, 33, from Ontario, Canada, has spent two years and £14,000 building his dream girl.

Hey, let’s outfit her in a mink coat.&#160 Get PETA pissed off at “her”, too.&#160

_____________________________________________________





Time to initiate a new category.

Well, seems the General here has got to enter the 21st century when it comes to staying in contact with the HQ and Battlestaff. Up until now, all I’ve ever used to stay in contact when I was off-base was your plain old simple cell phone. And for the most part I’ve stuck with Motorola RAZR phone for the past couple of years because of the big screen and small overall footprint.

But remember, your General is also a closet Linux fanboy. I still have a working Sharp ZAURUS SL-5500 that I tinker with every once and a while. Ahh, the good ol’ days of yore…….

So, when the HTC Dream was announced would use the Google Android mobile OS my interest perked up again. So much so, that today I cranked up my T-Mobile (yup, I use T-Mobile….when you get the kind of discount on the service I get, it was an easy decision) site and put my pre-order in for the G1 in lovely black. Yes, I’ve already read a bunch of the coverage on the G1, and yes I’m aware of the shortcomings the G1 has. but my opinion is that the things that the G1 is doing right is enough to outweigh the minor inconvenience of not having a headphone jack. Yes I know it also is missing Exchange/Outlook support by default, but I’m certain the developer community will have that shortcoming eliminated by the offical release date of October 22nd, prolly with a few days to spare!

As I said, to initiate the “Technology-ery” category I’m going to post about the G1 and my thoughts about it as it arrives next month. I’ll also try to cover the apps that I’ll add to the phone to make my life easier as I transition to a “smartphone” and the needs I’ll have that the phone will meet (hopefully).

Stay tuned.

ThatIsAll&#153.

_____________________________________________________

    Next Articles »
_______________
 
 
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Hacked by ZAKILOUP was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.