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To the General and Generalette! May your love for one another continue to grow.

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IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Happy birthday, America.&#160 I’m hoping that we don’t have to replay this scenario anytime soon.

But I’m not holding my breath.

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From: The Vicar

Realm Headquarters/HC

 

To: His Rudeness Darth Venmous

Realm Emperor/CC

 

Re: Official Realm Bible Translation

 

Your Rudeness,

 

It seems that my assessment that there would be no Klingon translation of Holy Scripture was in error. Please forgive me. Here is a link to just such a translation. Not being conversant in the Original languages or Klingon, I cannot comment on the accuracy or completeness of this translation.

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(hic!)

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I try&#160 to do this every year, but more often than not there just isn’t time to give it justice.&#160 Which translates into a crappy post.

Oh, well – here goes…

2011 was the year of the Occutard.&#160 The Occupussy.&#160 The Occuchickenshit.&#160 The lazy-assed, shiftless, shitheaded assholes of douchebaggery who think they entitled&#160 to what we’ve worked so hard for, just because.

It started in September in New York City as “Occupy Wall Street” – and, when Michael Bloomberg, aka “Bloomberg the Ball-less” – being the pansy-ass he is – refused to kick them out, the bowel movement spread to other cities (and countries) as well, including a tiny one here at Realm&#153 Headquarters.

Supposedly, according to Wiki (for all they themselves have zero credibility), the so-called “Occupiers” are

protes[ing]…against social and economic inequality, high unemployment, greed, as well as corruption, and the undue influence of corporations—particularly from the financial services sector—on government. The protesters’ slogan We are the 99% refers to the growing income and wealth inequality in the U.S. between the wealthiest 1% and the rest of the population.

It’s all bullshit, of course – basically, these pusstards want what you & I have, and they don’t want to have to work to get it.&#160 Their “solution” to this so-called “problem” is to take the 1-percent’s wealth and “redistribute it” (sound familiar?) to…them, of course.

Happily, though, some cities, such as Oakland, decided they’d had enough of the Occufools, and most of the encampments had been dismantled by December.

2011 was a year in which the morons Al-Obambi (beginning, of course, with Barack HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi, MMM, MMM, MMM!!!), continued to make asses & assholes of themselves – the endless vacations & golf trips, Solyndra, the USA credit downgrade, “Fast & Furious” aka Gunwalker, Al-Obambi’s refusal to enforce border laws, then suing states who tried to enforce it in their stead…the list just goes on & on.

UPDATE:&#160 2011 was also the year that all United States troops left Iraq.&#160 Followed immediately by the Taliban – y’know, the ragheads that Vice-Perpetrator Hair-Butt-Plugs-BiteMe says aren’t our enemy? – started bombing the place incessantly.

Heckuva job you’re doin’ there, Barry.

2011 was a year in which the Pussified Left&#153 continued to label any criticism of Bambi or his excuse-for-an-Attorney General, Eric(a) Holder, as racism.&#160 And it was a year in which the charge itself lost any value whatsoever.

2011 was a year in which the European economy threatened utter collapse all year long – and also threatened to take the United States economy along with it.&#160 As it was, the markets ended the year pretty much where they started it.

2011 was a year in which the states began to push back against the federal government.&#160 26 states challenged the so-called “Affordable Health Care Act” law; the Soprano Supreme Court will hear those challenges this term.

It was a year that saw the end (for now, anyway) the end of the Harry Potter&#160 franchise, the continuation of the Twilight&#160 movie series (although it, too, received some push-back from George Takei, of all people), the slide into reprobation by one Destiny Hope “Miley” Cyrus, the continued slide into oblivion by Lindsay Lohan, the “coming out” by Hollyweirdos on nearly a monthly basis (most of whom were they subsequently pushed onto the ash heap of history), and the breakup of a number of Hollyweird power couples, most notably Maria Shriver & the Governator, “Ahnuld”, Demi Moore & Ashton Kuchter and Katy “Skank” Perry & Russell “Megaskank” Brand.

However, 2011 was also the year of the first royal wedding in some 25 years, as Prince Harry married Kate Middleton.&#160 Married above ya, did ya son?&#160

2011 was the year the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex saw the Super Bowl, NBA Finals & the World Series all in the same calendar year.&#160 It was the year the Dallas Mavericks won their first NBA championship in the 31-year history of the franchise.&#160 The year also saw the Texas Rangers win their second straight American League pennant (and subsequently choke the Series to the St. Louis Cardinals, who really had no business being there in the first place).&#160 It saw at least three sports franchises (two here in DFW) declare bankrupcy and obtain new ownership as a result; the third is still in the courts.

2011 was the year that TCU’s football team capped off its first perfect season ever with a win over Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl.&#160 They would then follow that up with a 11-2 season that probably should been perfect as well – and would have been, save for a piece-o’-shit kicker and a highly-biased officiating crew.

2011 was the year the NFL’s Lombardi Trophy returned home to Green Bay.&#160 And the Packers look like they may repeat this year.&#160 And it was the year the NHL’s Stanley Cup was won by the Boston Bruins.

In 2011, we lost luminaries such as Amy Winehouse, Elizabeth Taylor, Steve Jobs, Andy Rooney, Bubba Smith, Don Meredith, Sherwood Schwartz, Betty Ford, Jimmy Kimmel’s uncle Frank, Jeff Conaway, Jackie Cooper, Jerry “Mr. Peppermint” Haynes, Peter Falk, Teena Marie, Gerry Rafferty, Don Kirschner, Randy Poffo (aka Randy “Macho Man” Savage), Jack LaLanne, Jane Russell, Phoebe Snow, James Arness, Clarence Clemons, Cliff Robertson, Bil Keane, Harry Morgan and Christopher Hitchens.

The year was not that great personally.&#160 The diabetes gained the upper hand, although it prompted a round of weight loss (approximately 20 lbs. in three months) that will eventually beat it back.&#160 Financially, the House of Venomous&#153 took a beating, as did most American households.&#160 And yes, the end result was what you’d probably expect – and that’s all I’m going to say about it.

The good thing is that Mrs. Venomous is still here after two years of marriage, which is more than I can say for some of her predecessors.&#160 She’s on her fourth iron skillet though, so…

The other good thing is that you’re still here, and I’m still here, and ready to replace a SCOAMF in the White House in 2012.&#160 Let’s get to it!

NEXT:&#160 2012 resolutions.

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General Claus’ Visit

To: All Personnel

_1._ An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this headquarters 25 December 2011. The following instructions will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit:

_a._ Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through normal command channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained through the office of OSURG, Veterinary Services.

_b._ Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 2011. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 1900 hours, 24 December 2011.

_c._ Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. This item will be drawn from the servicing dining facility.

_d._ Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety Officers will submit stocking hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 2011, ATTN: AEAGA-S, for approval.

_e._ At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 2005, will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown prior to start of official clatter.

_f._ Prior to 2400, 24 December 2011, all personnel will be assigned “Wondering Eye” stations. After shutters are thrown and sashes are torn, these stations will be manned.

_g. _ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus’ driver who, in accordance with current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking and be able to shout “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.”


_2._ MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19 December 2011, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-In.

_3._ Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.” This shout will be given on termination of General Claus’ visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division chiefs.

__CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE__
Colonel, US
OIC, Special Services

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To: His Nastiness Darth Venomous, Commander Pegasus(or whatever bucket of bolts he might have running)

From: The Vicar

Re: Unknown Lights

Your Nastiness, when embarking on your Christmas Cruise, beware of bright stars in the east! Starship collision with stars almost always ruins the cruise, and results in the vessel needing major space dock level maintenance!

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Got this from an old Fido friend, Seanette Blaylock, who in turn go it from someone else! 🙂

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the US Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These southern boys will be dropped in Afghanistan knowing only these facts about terrorists: 1. Hunting season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music, John Wayne or Jesus. 5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The Pentagon expects the problem to be over by Monday!

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There are times when this mild mannered Vicar(soon to be Pastor) would like to put in a call for some of his nastiness’s imperial Storm Troopers. My grandson suffers from Asberger’s syndrome, and as a result does not always react the way everyone else does to things. He tends, even at the age of nine, to be very very literal. As a result, the school has long had instructions that they are not to paddle Zack. Tuesday, the principal not only paddled Zack, but made fun of him.

Daughter had a meeting today with the Principal and other school officials which was not totally satisfactory. In other words, the Principal’s hind quarters are covered, even though what she did was egregious, and in my opinion constitute assault.

This woman(she is no lady) really needs to find new employment.

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For your weekend merriment, this came from LC ORWN, engine builder for Rottie Racing (link):

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing.
He was cruising along the beach in his Popemobile when he heard a frantic commotion just off shore
A helpless man wearing a New York Yankees jersey was struggling frantically to escape the jaws of a 25 ft shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with 3 men wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks side. The other 2 reached out and pulled the bleeding , semi-conscious Yankee fan from the water and using autographed Manny Ramirez baseball bats, the three Beantown heroes beat the shark to death and dragged it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned the men to the beach, ” I give you my blessing for your brave actions” he told them. ” I had heard that there was some bitter hatred between Red Sox fans and Yankee fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth”

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, ” who was that? ”

“It was the Pope” one replied, ” he is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God’s wisdom”

”Well,” the harpooner said, ”he may have access to all of God’s wisdom, but he sure doesn’t know anything about shark fishing..How’s the bait holding up?”

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…and probably not as newsworthy as the budget debate, so sue me.

It is one of those things that I like to call “Things ta make ya go hmmmmmm” though.

Check out what I’m referring to here and head back here because there’s some insider information below.

Well, now that you’ve read the news here’s the insider stuff. The General and Generalette attended the opening show for Glenn’s Spring tour recently and he had some news he wouldn’t completely divulge but did give some REALLY strong hints about. The crack intel team here at the base tells me that this move is not completely outside of what Glenn hinted at, and actually provides more proof that other major changes are probable.

Glenn stated that while this wasn’t his first trip to the Southern Command surveillance area, it wasn’t going to be his last and in fact he said he couldn’t rule out that moving to this part of the country wouldn’t be a bad idea. At this point the Generalette and I looked at each other and almost simultaneously exclaimed “Hot DAMN”. Rush has already moved his complete operations to the Southern Command Southeastern Sector (aka Florida), so it makes sense that Glenn would also potentially want to move shop to more hospitable surroundings here south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Darth, Glenn stated that offers of steaks and copious quantities of beef have been extended to his offices if they were to move to your overwatch sector. Would you have anything to do with them???? Just be advised, the Southern Command has a highly more coveted product (for Glenn) that is manufactured almost nearly in our literal backyard. The General will personally visit this manufacturer to ensure several 53′ semi-trailers of their product gets delivered to the Mercury Radio Arts offices if they decide to move into the protection of the Southern Command. So yes, it’s on!!!

Folks, basically what is one thing that is keeping Glenn and his staff in NYC? The television show. It’s a network show, the network offices and studios are there in NYC. If there’s no TV show, there’s no reason to stay in one of the most heavily taxed cities, county, and states in the country (if not THE most heavily taxed). As I said earlier, Rush moved his operations to Florida many moons ago and has proven repeatedly that a conservative radio talk show does not have to originate out of NYC or Californication in order to work efficiently. Just to get away from all the taxation (without representation).

We here at the Southern Command look forward to whatever Glenn and his staff decide to do or move to. It just needs to be down here is all. PERIOD.

ThatIsAll&#153

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(Hat tip Professor Jacobson.)

Denizens, remember when the Ayatollah Bambi and his trained little monkeys minions decided that, despite Bambicare being held to be unconstitutional by Judge Vinson, they went ahead and continued with plans to implement it anyway?

Oh, how the libtards crowed about that.

Not so much now – for the Demoscum’s own ox has now been gored.&#160 By the Wisconsin Legislative Reference Bureau.

In a stunning twist, Gov. Scott Walker’s legislation limiting collective bargaining for public workers was published Friday despite a judge’s hold on the measure, prompting a dispute over whether it takes effect Saturday.

The measure was published to the Legislature’s website with a footnote that acknowledges the restraining order by a Dane County judge. But the posting says state law “requires the Legislative Reference Bureau to publish every act within 10 working days after its date of enactment.”

Dee.&#160 Lish.&#160 Ous.

Absolutely.&#160 Delicious.

“Instant Karma’s gonna get you…Gonna knock ya right on yer ass…”

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[SCENE:&#160 On the bridge of ISS Titanic.&#160 The ship has just returned to Realm&#153 spacedock after a successful month-long shakedown cruise to test the new warp core.&#160 Chief Engineer Ozymandias McCool is beaming with pride at the rave review being given to him by Admiral Darth Venomous.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 …we even got to test the upgraded particle disruptors, and for once, we made it through a successful mission without something or other blowing up.&#160 I think you’ve earned that promotion back to Lieutenant Commander, Ozy, and it pleases me to so bestow you now…

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Thank you, Admiral.

VENOMOUS:&#160 …and Wizard, if you want to embark on that vacation I’ve been promising you, I’ve taken the liberty of making a reservation for you on Risa.

MERLIN:&#160 Thank you, m’liege.&#160 At my age, it is sorely needed.&#160 No pun intended, of course.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Just one condition, my friend:&#160 Under no circumstance are you to bring me a horga’hn – Mrs. Venomous would have what’s left of my skillet-battered head.

ALL:&#160 BWAH-HAHAHAHA…!!!

[The laughter is rudely interrupted by a massive rocking of Titanic&#160 and a simultaneous power failure.&#160 The senior staff, including Venomous, are thrown about the bridge.&#160 The automatic red-alert klaxons begin blaring.]

VENOMOUS (shouting at the nearest intercom):&#160 Bridge to Engineering, report!!!

OFFSTAGE VOICE (over speaker):&#160 1100 1001 1111 0000 1ac420dfee 1010 0101 ac2df19e…

[Even Venomous raises an eyebrow at that.&#160 He’s never heard a Bynar use hexidecimal before.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Ozy, what the hell was he saying?!?!

[Ozy’s face is as white as a sheet.]

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 There’s been an explosion in Engineering and they’re losing containment!&#160 He’s estimating 10 minutes to a warp core breach!!!

VENOMOUS:&#160 Oh, shit, not again.&#160 Awright, guys, secure all stations and let’s get out of here!&#160 T-Bone, get on it.

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Aye, sir!&#160 [He touches some controls and leans toward the pickup.]&#160 All hands abandon ship!&#160 Repeat, all hands abandon ship.&#160 This is not&#160 a drill.&#160 I repeat, all hands abandon ship…

VENOMOUS (muttering to himself):&#160 Just once&#160 could I get some writers whose effing solution to everything wasn’t to blow up the damned ship…?!??!?!?!?!

Working through some issues here, Denizens.&#160 Will try to post as time allows.&#160 (It’s nothing serious, no worries – just a bleeping annoyance.)

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Every once in a while, I’ll just happen to run into a hard copy of the Dullest Moaning Snooze – as long as I don’t have to pay for it, I don’t mind reading it, thus I’m living up to my boycott thereof – and I happened to come across this screed from the biggest shit-for-brains I’ve seen in a long while.

Social Security is not the biggest problem with the federal budget. The Greenspan Commission in the ’80s made sure that the Social Security system is well-funded for the baby boomers.

This dumbass Dan Mosher has obvously never read this article at what should be one of his favorite papers, the New York Slimes, nor must ne not have read, heard and/or seen the other major media outlets do their converage on the story (and for once, they did&#160 cover it), else he wouldn’t have gone out of his way to expose the vacuum in his head.

Social Security is broke.&#160 Medicare is broke.&#160 The United States of America is broke.&#160 What about that does this asshelmet not understand?

In fact, the trust fund will last well into the late 2030s, when the early boomers have mostly died.

Scripture admonishes us not to say things like “Thou fool” to anyone.&#160 In this case, however, I don’t think I’ll be able to help myself.

Mosher?&#160 Thou fucking fool.&#160 Just because Alan Greenspan, 20 years ago, said that this dumbshit little Ponzi scheme was financially stable doesn’t mean&#160 it was.

We were saying thirty years ago, during the days of Reagan, that Social Security was facing economic collapse, unless drastic changes were undertaken to stabliize it.

Did any of your butt-buddy Demoscum listen?&#160 HELL, NO!!!&#160 All they did was slap economic Band-Aids&#169 on it, kick the can down the road and pronounce it “fixed”!&#160 Now, in about 20 years when I’m going to start needing it, I’m likely not going to get a @%*@!! cent&#160 of it back!

And neither will you, Mosher – and you’d realize that if the matter between your ears was grey, rather than fecal.

But Denizens, what this shit-for-brains says next is quite possibly the stupidest, most asinine, most idiotically foolish&#160 thing I’ve ever read.&#160 (And that includes anything from the Church of the SubTarded, so that’s saying something.)

Charles Krauthammer is just as wrong as if he had said that a person struggling with $10,000 in credit card debt at 24 percent and a $100,000 mortgage at 5 percent should be most worried about the mortgage. The mortgage is the largest, both in total balance and yearly interest, but we all know that it is the credit card debt should be paid first.

He didn’t just say that.&#160 Tell me he didn’t just say that.

Boyz & girlz, I’ve owned a home, and I’ve been in massive, unrepayable credit card debt.&#160 I think I know whereof I speak.

I’m not sure how things are in other states, but I know how they are here.&#160 If you don’t pay your unsecured credit cards, here’s what happens:

They start sending you letters.&#160 They start calling you.&#160 You ignore them.&#160 More calls.&#160 More letters.&#160 More ignoring.&#160 Eventually, they turn your account over to a collection agency, which sends you a collection letter.&#160 If you don’t know how to use the United States Federal Code to handle those (and I do), or if you don’t act quickly enough, you get sued.

Then, if (for whatever reason) you lose the case, they can then file for possession/repayment – which will most likely be pennies on the dollar, and you might have to sell a few personal items, a couple of guns (if you have them), but not a whole heck of a lot else.&#160 And if you do&#160 declare bankruptcy, they’ll get a whole lot less than that.&#160 But at least in Texas, you don’t lose everything.&#160 (And, if you have the Texas Homestead Exemption, you can’t lose your house, period.)

In other words, with very few exceptions, the credit card companies can’t touch you.&#160 Especially if you know how to handle them.&#160 (You will take a hit on your credit record, but we’re not discussing that right now.)

Now.&#160 Contrast that with what happens if you don’t pay your mortgage:&#160 You stand to lose your home – and anything that might happen to be in it when they post the foreclosure notice and padlock the place.

So you tell me, Denizens:&#160 What are you&#160 gonna pay first?

The logic that “the largest is the problem” is simply flawed.

There’s indeed some flawed logic here, dumb fuck – but it’s sure as Hell not Charles Krauthammer’s.

The real problem with our federal budget is the excessive military spending.

Ah yes – here’s where we get into “it’s all Reagan’s/Bush’s/Bush’s fault”.&#160 The little pussy hates our military, so he blames it for everything from his widdle hangnail to the 600,000,000 quadrillion trillion billion million that Dubya personally shot to death in Iraq.&#160 (Not that widdle Danielle can give us any names or anything, but you get the idea.)

We involve ourselves in far too many of the world’s problems and then cut taxes instead of raising taxes to pay for our expeditions.

And then he goes on to demonstrate his absolute fuckwittery when it comes to taxation philosophy:&#160 “Tax hikes goooood, letting people keep more of their own money to stimulate the economy themselves, baaaaaaaaaaaad.

Never mind that when you cut&#160 tax rates, you bring more money into the Treasury.&#160 This putrid ‘tard didn’t read the lesson debunking Keynes, though – must’ve been off huffing his bong during that class.

And Daniella, I’m so&#160 very sorry that we spent that money on killing people, breaking things, and defending this country instead of using it to produce mass quantities of unicorn farts like you’d have preferred.&#160 But we rather dislike ragheaded pussies taking planes and flying them into our buildings, y’dig?

President George W. Bush and the Republicans nearly doubled our national debt during relatively good times and left us in much worse shape to deal with the fiscal meltdown that their “don’t regulate” policies brought on.

Well, finally, he got to the “blame Bush” part.&#160 Bush Derangement Syndrome does, indeed, live.

Never mind that his honeyboy Bambi, in only two years has about quadrupled&#160 what Bush accomplished in eight.

But that’s liberal retardia for you, isn’t it?&#160 Good thing morons like him aren’t in government…uh, wait…&#160

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Fox & Friends was going on & on about how the potential nuclear disaster in Japan supposedly “raises questions” about nuclear power here in the U.S.

Seems simple to me.

Don’t build nuke plants on or near known quake faults.&#160 Problem solved.

What would the world do without My Eternal Wisdom (*cough*)&#153

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