Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
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(Hat tip to Jeremy Thomas at 411mania.com.)

Denizens, either we have come upon the Apocalypse™, and the Four Horsemen are trampling upon the countryside, or else the failing reputation of Disney as a family organization – which began to crumble with the adoption of the now-infamous “Gay Days” – has finally reached its nadir and pulled out its trusty jackhammer.

For Disney has now pulled off the absolute unthinkable epic fail – they’ve asked no less than Britney Spears to be a mentor/role model.

With her troubled past, Britney Spears might not seem the most likely of role models – but she has been picked by Disney bosses to mentor the studio’s child stars.

Executives approached her in a bid to avoid another meltdown such as that suffered by 18-year-old singer and actress Demi Lovato earlier this month.

Britney’s fellow former Mickey Mouse Club Mouseketeer Justin Timberlake has also been asked to counsel young performers.

Justin I could possibly understand, although I’m rather dubious about Mr. “Bringing Sexy Back”.

But Britney?!

Great.  Honkin’.  Cthulu.

If ever Luke 6:39 (“Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit?”) were to apply to a situation, I think it’d be here.

Idiots, all of them.

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Denizens, remember when Desperate Nymphoid™ Eva Longoria – she who dumped her husband so she could go shack up with French-born San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker – said this about him?

“He’s very sweet,” she says of her French-born boyfriend. “I’m the experienced one. I’m the teacher, especially about love. He’s always telling me he’s never met anyone who loves the way I do – wholly and freely and unconditionally.”

Well, it looks like ol’ Frenchie took to his lessons very  well, hawhawhawhaw!!!

Brent Barry’s father, NBA Hall of Famer Rick Barry is worried his son will be devastated by the news that his wife Erin was having an affair with Tony Parker. Barry played with Parker from 2004 to 2008, and he is currently in the middle of his own divorce from Erin.

Live by the extra-marital affair, die by the extra-marital affair.

Though I (curiously) didn’t blog on it at the time, I was telling whoever would listen to me that this marriage would last three years, tops.

And the news came down just a couple days ago – the marriage is done, over, toes up, fini.

Karma’s kind of a bitch, isn’t it Eva?

WITY™?

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(Hat tip Doug Powers off a buzzworthy from Michelle Malkin.)

The “Down Is Up, Up Is Down” Department, seeing His Rudeness™ feeling like crap the last few days, has decided to try and brighten his mood by telling him a funny.

I mean, how else  could you explain Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister going all PotKettleBlack™ on us, hm?

Former President Clinton has sent out a fundraising letter on behalf of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee under his own name warning that Republicans are trying to “derail’ President Obama’s agenda.

Gee, he says that like it’s a Bad Thing™…

Yes, Der Kaiser, but we’re not trying to “derail”-sneer-quotes it, we’re trying to derail it.

Destroy it.

Disrupt it.

Put.  A.  Fuckin’.  Stop.  To.  It.

What specific part of that does your feeble, one-track-only-and-that’s-sex mind not effing understand, hmmm?

Oxford must have been pretty damned desperate to have taken you as a student, lemme tell ya.

Not much unexpected there.

Well, at least someone  at the Post gets it.

But along with the letter, Clinton has included a flyer from the DSCC that’s bound to raise eyebrows.

Okay, Denizens, last warning.  I’m putting the money-quote here below the fold.  Make sure you’re sitting down before you open it up.  MASSIVE SPEW WARNINGS.

“DSCC funds go towards efforts to unseat far-right Republican senators like admitted sinner David Vitter…” the flyer says, referring to the Louisiana senator who admitted patronizing a prostitution service when he was in the House.

“Like admitted sinner  David Vitter…”?  This from Mr. “I did not have sexual relateions with that woman” himself?  The ex-Philanderer-in-Briefs dares  fling boulders at a candidate for office from his microscope-slide-glass-thin bunker?  He whom brother Roger claimed “had a nose like a vacuum cleaner” is accusing someone else, anyone else, of being a sinner?????

Ohhh.  Emmmmm.  Effffff.  Geeeeeee.  (That’s “OMFG” for those of you in the Church of the SubTarded.)

Okay, Department of “Down Is Up, Up Is Down” – you guys win.

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!ONE!1!ELEVEN!1!!1

(snort!)

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So sad, really.

Miley Cyrus has caused yet more controversy during her promotional trip to Britain – the star shocked fans by flashing her underwear at a gig in London over the weekend.

The teenage star took to the stage and once again faked a smooch with a female dancer during her rendition of new single “Can’t Be Tamed.”

She then stripped off her shirt to reveal a mini-dress, with a bare midriff and cut-out panels around the thighs, and showed off her underwear during a series of dance moves.

Shame, Miley.  Given who your dad is, we out here were hoping you’d spare us a modicum of angst by not becoming a clone of Britney Spears.  That you might grow up to be someone we’d want our daughters to emulate – someone wholesome, upright, even pure (relatively speaking, anyway).

Guess we can’t have everything we want in life, huh?

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Item:  OwlBore and his wife, Tipper, are separating after 40 years of marriage.

Reaction:  Looks like Al’s mistress – Mommy Gaia – finally won out.  (Shame Tipper can’t sue the earth for alienation of affection.)

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Was kinda wondering, Denizens, what I was going to do for tonight’s entry.

Y’see, Mrs. Venomous has me…hanging curtains.  (Don’t laugh.  Our bunk is on the top floor of our loft, and we’ve got a couple of Gen-Y pussies back behind us that have no qualms about walking by our windows to get to their own loft.  (Long story.  Short version is, these curtains are needed in the Worst Way™.))

So I go to check email – and lo & behold, LC Rurik of the Rott has taken care of it for me.

Enjoy.

You Stupid Bastard! You cheated on Sandra Bullock?

How in the world can you be so stupid? You are married to one of the most beautiful women in the world; she has a body to die for, and her current wealth and predicted wealth is shadowed only by Oprah, who even Steadman will tell you, isn’t attractive.

But your wife, who recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls and is now the named “America’s sweetheart”; you also remember she just won an Oscar (which translates to more money per picture she makes in the future)…while you were shacking with that tattooed freak, who just happens to be a former stripper and is someone’s mommy.

You are really a piece of work! You are the most hated asshole cheater on the planet! And while the State of California is a no-fault state whereby you may be able to take half of your wife’s wealth, in doing so you would only be hated even more…especially after Sandra speech during the Oscars in which she did nothing but praise you. How can you live with yourself after she even cared for your children?

I only have one thing to say to a despicable, miserable, cheating piece of crap that you are:

Thank You!
You really helped to take the heat off of of me. Lets do lunch sometime and compare notes.

~Tiger Woods

All together now: 

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(Hat tip to the beautiful & talented Michelle.)

So help me Cthulu, I would Damned Near Pay Real Money™ if these pussies would try this in Texas.

A group of homeless people and housing activists took over a privately owned Mission District duplex on Sunday in what served as the climax of a protest designed to promote use of San Francisco’s vacant buildings as shelters for the needy.

But the owner of the property – who was targeted over his eviction of a tenant – said the demonstration was nothing more than breaking and entering.

“It’s not actually vacant. I use it for my own personal uses,” Ara Tehlirian of Daly City said in an interview, adding that he was in contact with the San Francisco Police Department. “I know nothing other than my property was apparently broken into.”

But that’s not the half of it, Denizens.

When the police were called, they did exactly…dick.

More than a dozen police officers were on hand, most standing on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. Asked earlier whether they would take action if protesters occupied the property, officers declined to comment. One said, “We’ll see.”

By 3 p.m., all had left but one, who stayed to ensure that “nobody is out of hand,” said a police official, Sgt. William Escobar. No arrests had been made.

Memo to you “Homes Not Jails” douchebag cowards out in San Transexual.

Come here to Texas and try to pull that shit.  I guar-an-fuckin’-damn-tee  you that none of you will survive the attempt.

We have answers for chickenshits like you, and they come in various calibers, IYKWIMAITYD.

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A friend of mine from a previous job career counts as one of his family friends one Erykah Badu.  (For the Uninitiated™ Erykah Badu is a semi-well-known rhythm-and-blues/soul/rap singer/crooner/hip-hop diva.

And she’s just shamed the hell outta my friend – not to mention her family – by doing this.

A City of Dallas spokesman said Erykah Badu broke the law by filming a music video in downtown Dallas in which she strips and feigns being shot in Dealey Plaza.

City officials had no immediate comment on the content of the video – either the nudity or the clear references to the 1963 assassination of John F. Kennedy.

But whatever she chose to put in her new video, Badu – a Dallas native and renowned graduate of the Booker T. Washington High School for the Performing and Visual Arts – should have gotten a permit before filming it, said City of Dallas spokesman Frank Librio.

“All commercial film/video or photo shoot projects must be permitted through the City of Dallas Office of Special Events/Film Coordinators,” Librio said in a written statement. “The production company that produced this video never contacted the city to seek the proper permits. This is known as ‘guerrilla filming’ where production companies circumvent the proper permitting procedures and usually shoot these scenes in one take, knowing that if they are discovered they would face arrest and/or penalties.”

Now, should you have the stomach to go seek out the video and view it (I have – and quite honestly, it isn’t that good), you might notice that she did this in full view of regular Dallas citizens.  Men, women…and children.

That’s right, sportz fanz.  Erykah Badu did herself a little striptease for all the nice folks in downtown Dallas.  Without so much as a cover charge, or even the strip club tax the Texas Supreme Court’s looking at right now.

Sad, huh?

And y’know…the really  sad thing is that she’ll probably win some sort of award for the video.  If nothing else, she’ll win one for sticking it to whitey, aka Dallas city government.  Little black girls – and little white ones, and Asian ones, and Hispanic ones too – will, sadly, look up to her as some sort of role model, instead of the two-bit stripper she’s turned out to be.

It’s just another sign that our society and culture has been flushed down the shitter.  And at some point, He who has not turned one blind eye to us, will have had enough, and we will reap the whirlwind.

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(“WITY”, of course, standing for “What’d I Tell Ya?”)

The Vicar™ & I were conducting an email exchange yesterday, whereupon he committed…well, not a cardinal  sin, but it got a good-sized virtual mock-glare from me, anyway. 

His trespass:  referring to me as a Baptist.  (The Southern  part of that was not “voiced”, as it were, but given where the Realm™ is geographically located, one could say it was at least implied.)

Whereupon I immediately reminded him that (in the words of the Romulan Nero) that I do not speak for the Southern Baptist Convention, that they & I stand apart.

Which, in turn, reminded me  that I had never followed up on my promise to layeth the smacketh downeth on their candy asses for the aforementioned folly of carrying water for a failed movement.

The world’s leading climate change scientists have been caught out making unfounded claims about global warming for the second time in just over a week.

Experts appointed by the United Nations said rising temperatures were to blame for an increase in the number and severity of natural disasters such as hurricanes and floods.

But it has emerged that the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change based the statement, made in 2007, on an unpublished report that had not been properly reviewed by other scientists.

Feel most free to go read the rest.

So tell me, Jack Graham, pastor of Prestonwood Baptist Church, my former pastor and a leader in this mad scramble to climb into bed with the Gaia-worshippers & tree-humpers huggers – how does it feel knowing that you were sold a bill of goods?  And highly defective goods, at that?

How does it feel to know that you and your fellow SBC high-muckety-mucks willfully  disobeyed God and focused more on pleasing man than on pleasing Him?  I know how it feels when I’m  reminded that I fail the Lord on a daily basis – how does it feel, knowing that not only  did you do it, but then made a fucking spectacle  of yourselves in announcing it to the world at large?

You people foolishly sold your souls for the hope in acquiring something resembling the acceptance of the world – hell, you morons even said as much

“Our cautious response to these issues in the face of mounting evidence may be seen by the world as uncaring, reckless and ill-informed. We can do better.”

…so how does it now feel knowing that you got caught red-handed caring more about how the fucking world  saw you than how Christ saw you – and it wound up biting your on your ample asses as a result, hm?

It is time for the leadership of the Southern Baptist Convention to take its turned-into-linguini-spines, step the fuck aside and allow new, fresh blood that isn’t willing to compromise as they have, to take over and carry the banner forward.

Before that passage in Revelation that I mentioned really does  come back to devour them.

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If you ask me – and I know you didn’t, like I give a flying… – the motherfucking bastards who came up with this idea should be shot on sight.

— A New York City-funded guidebook for heroin users offers information on how to prepare drugs carefully and care for veins to avoid infection.

The state’s top official with the Drug Enforcement Administration calls the “Take Charge Take Care” guide a “step-by-step instruction on how to inject a poison.” DEA special agent-in-charge John Gilbride says the handout is disturbing.

Which – and do  pardon me for pointing this out – was still illegal, last time I checked…?

“Oh, well, don’t break the law, yer not s’posed to, but if you do, here’s how you do it…”

Oh, well, don’t blast a .45-caliber hole through someone else’s head, mkay?  But if you really wanna, this is how ya go about it…

Great.  Honkin.  Cthulu. 

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Never mind that 75% of the people of the state of Texas clearly stated they wanted nothing to do with heterophobic marriage.

Never mind the United States Constitution says not one fucking thing  about heterophobic marriage.

Never mind that no less a man than the Attorney General of Texas himself said Texas wanted nothing to do with faggots pissing on our institution and pretending to be married.

Nosirreebob™, we’ve gotta have a Stupid Cunt™ of a tin-horned, tyrannical bench jockey bitch  gonna force it on us, anyway.

In a first for Texas and a sweeping rejection of the state’s ban on gay marriage, a judge has cleared the way for two gay Dallas men to divorce.

A voter-approved state constitutional amendment and the Texas Family Code prohibit same-sex marriages or civil unions. And the Texas attorney general had intervened in the two men’s divorce case, arguing that since a gay marriage isn’t recognized in Texas, a Texas court can’t dissolve one through divorce.

And you would think that’d be the end of it.  But here comes a stupid bitch who can’t even spell her own fucking name right – and yes, I’d be honored if you’d quote me – who thinks she knows better than 3/4 of the entire Godforsaken state.

But Dallas state District Judge Tena Callahan ruled Thursday that the state’s bans on same-sex marriage violates the constitutional guarantee to equal protection under the law.

She denied the attorney general’s intervention and said her court “has jurisdiction to hear a suit for divorce filed by persons legally married in another jurisdiction.”

Bullshit.  Teeny-Weeny, honey, if you’re so hot to see multiple dicks, there’s an adult theatre just off Northwest Highway in Dallas.  You might as well go – it’s probably more than you’re getting, anyway

Oops.  Looks like I’m right about that.  This bimbo’s ugly as sin:

This case probably gave her a fucking hot flash.

“This is huge news. We’re ecstatic,” said Dallas attorney Peter Schulte, who represents the man who filed the divorce. The man, identified in court documents as J.B., asked that he and his former partner not be identified.

Schulte said the ruling was a surprise and that he hoped to have a divorce order for the judge to sign in the “next few weeks.”

With any luck, we’ll all have trees with all your fucking heterophobic names on them RealSoonNow™.

Tall, sturdy ones.  With lots & lots of rope for decoration.

Some assembly required, of course.

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(NOTE:  I’m bumping this to today because the PFW post didn’t give The Six Or Seven Of You™ a chance to read it in all its glory.

Besides, I’m gonna be busy pretty much all weekend, so I can get posting for today out of the way. (grin)  -DV)

While everyone in the “Fringe Media” (aka MSN aka what Glenn Beck is now referring to them as) was needing more drool bibs from the slopfest that was Al-Obambi’s debut on the United Nitwits stage….back at home this was going on.

Need we say this AGAIN America?

Al-Obambi told us to judge him by who he associates with during the campaign. Wellll, isn’t that just speeehhh-shhhullll…… Let’s see now, he associates with a church leader who advocates that “America be damned”, an avowed Communist, several handfuls of Marxists, and who knows how many social justice advocates and whacko progressives. Lovely crew there Bambi. Just farking lovely.

Now you are going to appoint a sicko-phant that wants nothing more than to ensure that “Heather Has Two Mommies” or that GLAAD be given Cabinet-level status as your “Safe Schools” czar.

Holy W-T-F????

He actually wants someone

…who has advocated promoting homosexuality in schools, written about his past drug abuse, expressed his contempt for religion and detailed an incident in which he did not report an underage student who told him he was having sex with older men.

Once again….HOLY W-T-F!

How difficult is it to understand Leviticus chapter 18? I get it, I’m fairly certain most everyone else reading this gets it too. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out (trust me, I know….I have ready access to a whole spaceship full of them down here by the Southern HQ).

I really want to go on an major rant here, but my blood pressure is rapidly approaching explosive levels as it is. At least someone has already called shenanigans on this.

“Jennings was obviously chosen for this job because of the safe schools aspect… defining ‘safe schools’ narrowly in terms of ‘safe for homosexuality’,” Peter Sprigg, a senior fellow at the Family Research Council, told FOXNews.com.

The Generalette (being a teacher herself for many seasons now) has been reading this over my shoulders and appropriately stated that “The government has no business being in education in the first place. Leave teaching to the teachers! And if this is how “safe schools” are going to be defined, then I’m hanging up my teaching license because I WILL NOT be part of any agenda that wants to promote that sort of thing to MY students!” (she’s just a wee bit defensive of her kids)

(Note: You DO NOT want to know what happened when the “messiah” brought his dog and pony show to the schools back on Sept 8.)

November 2, 2010….mark your calendars denizens. Our voice WILL BE heard.

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It’s no big secret that the United Methodist Quilting Bee Made Up Of Spineless Wimps Who Think They’re Sorta Spiritual Church isn’t exactly the penultimate authority on things Scriptural.

Sunday, one of their members dropped trou, figuratively speaking, and showed what asses they are their collective ass again, trying to get in the face of a Southern Baptist minister with the heterophobe issue – and failing miserably, I might add.

The pastor of little Grace United Methodist Church took a swipe at big First Baptist Church of Dallas on Sunday with a sermon titled “Why Gay Is OK.”

The message was delivered as a counterpunch to “Why Gay Is Not OK,” a November sermon by First Baptist pastor Dr. Robert Jeffress.

Ooooooh!  Speaking TRUTH TO POWER™!!!!!1!!!!!ONE!!11!!ELEVENTY!!

Bet it just gave that pastor a little stiffie, didn’t it?

“I knew I had to preach about this,” the Rev. Diana Holbert said Sunday.

Oops.  Never mind. 

She told her diverse East Dallas congregation that homosexuality is not a big issue in the Bible

Yeah, just that big abomination thingie.  No big deal.  Nothing to see here, move along.

and that Christians should be more focused on subjects such as health care, greed in the corporate world, and the welfare of children.

Denizens, d’y’all ever notice that when liberal shits tell Christians what their collective focus should be on, it’s always stuff that’s absolutely nowhere to be found in Scripture?

I mean, really.  You won’t find anything about “health care” (universal or otherwise, at least as they  define it) in the Word, and whenever God talks about children, He’s usually either referring to them as a blessing and a gift from Him or trying to instruct us in how they should be brought up according to His statutes.

As for “greed in the corporate world”, the Bible talks about greed being a general condition (or symptom, if you want to think of it that way) of the corrupted human heart.  IOW, it’s a condition that affects all humans everywhere – especially liberal shits like those over at the United Methodist Church who are lusting with greed even now for more power to tell conservatives & Christians how they must run their lives and what they can and cannot talk about in the pulpit (do the terms “hate crimes” and “Fairness Doctrine” ring any bells out there?)

About a third of the church’s membership is gay or lesbian, she said.

Given that you’re leading them down a primrose path straight to Hell, sister, I’d say that’s your  problem.

During her sermon, Holbert said, “God doesn’t discard or discriminate.”

Aw, isn’t that a cutesy, clever little bromide?  Didja think that one up all by yourself, Diana, honey – or did you have help?

Trouble is, it ain’t quite true.  During the final seven years from the Rapture through the Great Tribulation, God’s going to be doing plenty  of discarding.  And at the Great White Throne Judgement, there will be a great deal  of discrimination.  Trust me on that.

“The Bible has often been used to attack gay and lesbian persons,” she said. “Let’s put a stop to that.”

Y’know what, Di, honey?  No – let’s not.

The fact is that God considers it an abomination for men to sleep with men and for women to sleep with women.  He said so – period, end, stop.  And for you to say that He doesn’t consider it a “big deal” proves beyond the slightest shadow of a doubt that you don’t have the slightest effin’ clue  about Scripture, and are not qualified to lead a church nursery, much less an entire congregation.

Holbert, whose husband is a professor at Southern Methodist University’s Perkins School of Theology, chose her words slowly in responding after her sermon. She said she had never met Jeffress.

“I want to be careful,” she said in an interview. “I don’t want to call him anti-scholastic. I don’t want to get in a fight with him.”

Probably the smartest thing you’ve said all day, bimbo.  It’d be like bringing a knife to a gunfight.  And a dull one at that, truth be told.

Then she added, “I kind of feel sorry for him.”

Y’know whom I  feel sorry for?  I feel sorry for your wimp-ass of a husband, because he doesn’t have the balls to take you aside and tell you in no uncertain terms to shut the fuck up before you really  embarass him.

There’s a reason Paul admonished in Scripture about having women in senior leadership positions in the church.  You, Di honey, you stupid bint, stand as People’s Exhibit Number One™ as to that reason.

“‘What God has made clean, you must not call profane,’ ” Holbert said, reading from verse [Acts 10:]15.

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear, dumbass-ette:  You ain’t clean.

We are cleansed by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ as a result of what He did for us on the cross – and it’s painfully obvious that you and your ilk there are throwing that free gift right back in His face.

And it will be made clear in due course that He’s not terribly pleased with the path you’re leading His creations down.

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Ropes, trees, Iowa Soprano Court Excuses-for-Justices.

Some assembly required.

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The Department of Up Is Down, Down Is Up, Etc.™ brings us this disturbing little item about a heretofore charming kids’ park that’s about to turn into the Last Chance Effing Saloon.

Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission administrator Alan Steen on Wednesday signed an order potentially clearing the way for beer sales next month at Six Flags and also at its nearby Hurricane Harbor water park. Three opponents granted party status, including Arlington Mayor Robert Cluck, have 23 days to file a request for another hearing or to allow the alcohol license to be issued.

Sharon Parker, a Six Flags spokeswoman, said she was confident park officials had presented a convincing case.

Oh, I’m ever-so-sure you did, Shari baby.  How better to enhance and magnify the world-renowned Six Flags Experience™ than by having potentially two-thirds of the customers good & lathered up, hm?  I know I’ve always wanted to visit the universally-famous amusement park and take in the aroma of cotton candy, hot dogs & lemonade mixed in with that wonderful  stench of beer.

(Not to mention the resulting Rancid Reek O’ Retch-ery™ when someone who’s tipped a few too many tries to ride the Shock Wave, but we’ll try not to think about that, will we?)

Yeah, I’m sure’s Hell™ convinced, alrighty. 

“Our sister park in San Antonio as well as other entertainment venues throughout the state of Texas have proven that you can serve beer – and in some cases other mixed beverages – and still provide a family-friendly atmosphere,” she said.

I call bullshit.  For starters, I’d like to see just how many times your police “security personnel” were called in to give a little “attitude adjustment” to a someone soused up on Sam Adams.  How many times the park gendarmes  had to deal with a pickled patron who’d pounded one too many Pabsts.

Unless you’d like to show me  those spreadsheets, Shari baby, I think I’ll remain a little dubious about your so-called “family-friendly” bullshit, mkay?

Glad we could clear that up.

Those opposed to beer sales said mixing alcohol with an environment filled with children was a bad idea and could lead to more injuries inside the park and more drunken driving accidents on nearby roads.

Oh, “could”, my lily-white cracker ass.  This half-assed decision by the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission absolutely will  lead to more of that.  Count on it.

Incidentally, you might be interested in knowing that this is the same TABC that a couple weeks ago stripped Silver City Caberet in Dallas (pun definitely intended) of its liquor license.

The state of Texas is declaring victory over what it calls one of the most problematic topless clubs in the state.

Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission agents have stripped Silver City Cabaret in Dallas of its license to serve alcohol after trying for five years.

So, essentially, what you’ve got is that a bunch of fuckheaded, loose-assed dorkwads in Austin say that you can’t have beer at an adults-only strip club, but you can have beer in front of the kiddies at Six Flags.

Nice.  Real fuckin’ nice. 

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