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Spatula City BBS! http://www.spatulacitybbs.net Ted Cruz: This blog's current choice for President. (1:130/103) Mon, 05 Jan 2015 12:00:02 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 PFW:&#160 …but it hasn’t been real fun…(not for a while, anyway) http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8804 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8804#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2015 12:00:02 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8804 Figures I’d go out on a clunker of a clusterfuck like that.

But then again, sportz fanz…that’s what Executive Fiat™ is for.

Cincinnati 10, at Indianapolis 26

Pittsburgh 17, at Baltimore 30

Detroit 20, at Dallas 24

at Arizona 16, Carolina 27

#19 Auburn 31, #18 Wisconsin 34 (OT) (Outback Bowl)

#14 UCLA 40, #11 Kansas State 35 (Alamo Bowl)

Bucky found their running game again in the nick of time.  Melvin Gordon found the holes that Ohio State wasn’t giving him, and ran for 251 yards & three scores.  Auburn’s attempt to tie in overtime clanged off the right upright.

The Bruins had to hold off a late charge from Bill Snyder’s Wildcats, but held on to win a squeaker.

Shoulda known better to pick the third-string quarterback in the playoff game.  Arizona’s defense is good, but so is Carolina’s.  Ryan Lindley basically didn’t have a shot.

This isn’t Ray “Unconvicted Thug” Lewis’ Raven defense – but someone forgot to tell Ben Rothelisberger that.

Oh, great.  Now  Dallas decides to start winning.

No matter.  I still don’t regret my decision to throw them out of the PFW.

I do, however, regret my decision to go with Cincinnati because of Andy Dalton.

He now gets the nickname I had bequeathed upon his ex-Cowboy teammate, Terrence Newman – “Bust”.

It’s the fact of the matter – Andy Dalton is not the answer at quarterback in Cincinnati.  He’s not NFL-starter caliber.  He throws too many interceptions, and doesn’t take care of the ball well enough in the pocket (he lost yet another fumble yesterday).  He has a lot of work to do to improve in the NFL, and I don’t think it’s going to happen in Cincy.

So it’s a 1-5 record for the week, but I’m declaring a Perfect Football Weekend™ anyway.

MERLIN:  Why, m’liege?  This is the worst week you’ve had since…

KORRIOTH:  …since you posted that oh-fer last year.

[Venomous glares at Korrioth.]

KORRIOTH (feigning look of innocence):  Hey, I’m just sayin’.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

But then, there was this:

#8 Michigan State 42, #5 Baylor 41

Michigan State scored three touchdowns in the fourth quarter on New Year’s Day to beat playoff-snubbed and No. 5 Baylor 42-41 in the highest-scoring Cotton Bowl ever.


Michigan State (11-2), which won the Rose Bowl as Big Ten champions last season, has won four consecutive bowl games after trailing in each of them at halftime. The Spartans’ only two losses this season were to Pac-12 winner Oregon and Big Ten champ Ohio State.

Down 41-21 going into the fourth quarter, Michigan State got the winning touchdown after Marcus Rush blocked Chris Callahan’s 43-yard field goal attempt with 1:05 left.

Kinda reminiscent of how Baylor scored 24 on TCU in the fourth quarter back in October, huh?  (Without all the bogus pass-interference penalties, of course.)

Live by the 21-point comeback…die by the 21-point comeback.

And after all the crowing Baylor did after 61-58…there are no words to express how sweet it was to see Baylor eat crow Thursday.  HAPPY NEW YEAR, CUBTARDS!!!!!! 

This week:  2-5.  Perfect Football Weekend achieved by Executive Fiat™ (4).  Final PFW record:  83-34-1.

It was a pretty decent year, as Perfect Football Weekend™ years go.  Heights did well, TCU had a killer year…all in all, no complaints.

And that does it for me, Denizens.  I’d say “…and now, we return you to your regularly-scheduled rant-blogging”, except that there’s going to be nothing to return to.

The blog is closing this year (I’ll make the official annoucement later on), and this is likely my last ever blog post.  I’m going on hiatus to work on other things in my life…specifically, my health.  I gained 20 pounds over the holidays, and I’m pushing 40-inch slacks again.  So, much of my free time will be spent working out and trying to get back down to at least 220, hopefully less.

And, to be brutally honest about it…I’ve lost the desire to do this.  See, I’ve been at this, in some way, shape or form, since 1992.  22, 23-some-odd years of My Eternal Wisdom™ (snort!), as it were, either as a BBS, or as a website that I created/wrote myself, or as a blog.

And I’m tired…and I’m tired of it.

It used  to be fun – but it hasn’t been fun for a long time.  A very  long time.  And I don’t see beating my head against the proverbial brick wall to do it if it’s no longer any fun.

For me, there are fewer days ahead than behind.  I need to make more of those days than I have as of late.

Vicar, General – feel free to post as you like, but keep in mind no one’s reading us – not even the Six Or Seven™ – so it’s pretty much screaming into the whirlwind at this point.

So, as Mr. Rhyner says most nights…you guys stay hard, keep jammin’ – and we’ll see ya…

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PFW:&#160 It’s been real, it’s been fun… http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8801 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8801#comments Thu, 01 Jan 2015 17:55:18 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8801 As we start the 2nd half of the back-to-back Perfect Football Weekend™, we once again enlist the services of the He Ain’t All That & A Bag O’ Chips Department™, which brings us yet more lamenting about the Washington REDSKINS, YOU FUCKING LIBERALS!!!  slide into oblivion:

For the sixth time in the past seven seasons, the Washington Redskins will finish last in the NFC East division. With four wins against 11 losses, the team has little at stake in Sunday’s season finale against the playoff-bound Dallas Cowboys.

But unlike last season, when a poisoned relationship between then-Coach Mike Shanahan and quarterback Robert Griffin III undermined the Redskins, no single relationship or failing explained Washington’s futility on the field in 2014. Instead, a series of shortcomings proved insurmountable: injuries, instability at quarterback, poor discipline among players, ill-advised play calls and friction in the locker room, to name a few.

Such hurdles are routinely overcome by better NFL teams, but they proved too much in Washington, where losing has become ingrained in the environment of a once proud franchise.

You are encouraged, as our old frenemy Straight Up With Sherri used to say, to go read the rest.

For my part – how many times have I told anyone who would listen that The Second Coming Of The World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!!!!!™, aka ARRRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!, that he wasn’t  the greatest thing since sliced bread?  That the only reason he is where he is right now is because of one game against an inexperienced TCU secondary playing its first game together?  And that one of those touchdowns was an illegal double forward pass?  And how, had Ross Evans been able to kick his way out of a paper sack, that Griffin would not have won the Heisman?

Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

I’d give this a WITY™ – but I’ve already given it one, so what’s the point?

Let’s get on with it.  With the end of TCU’s season, there’s one Core Team™ left – the Cincinnati Bengals – and their run will end Sunday in Indianapolis as they begin/end the playoffs against the Colts.

For the wildcard games, we’ll take the Arizona Cardinals to win in Carolina, Pittsburgh to end Baltimore’s year at Heinz Field, and Detroit (specifically, Megatron) to be too much for Dallas’ secondary.

For colleges, I like #19 Auburn over #18 Bucky in the Outback Bowl (I imagine the Tigers watched that Ohio State film) and #14 UCLA to edge #11 K-State in the Alamo Bowl (the Wildcats have problems with quality quarterbacks).

We’ll have the final recap & benediction Monday or so, as this is (in all probability) the last ever episode of the Perfect Football Weekend™. Be here!

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PFW:&#160 Sucks to be the playoff committee right now http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8796 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8796#comments Thu, 01 Jan 2015 16:37:45 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8796 Memo to the College Playoff Committee:

Did you see what we did to the team that beat your precious Crimson Tide yesterday?

What do you think we would have done to Saban’s boys…hmmmmm?

#6 TCU 42, #9 Ole Miss 3 (Peach Bowl)

Cincinnati 17, at Pittsburgh 27

West Virginia 37, Texas A&M 45 (Liberty Bowl)

#17 Clemson 40, Oklahoma 6 (Russell Athletic Bowl)

#13 Georgia 37, #21 Louisvile 14 (Belk Bowl)

#7 Mississippi State 34, #12 Georgia Tech 49 (Orange Bowl)

#24 Southern Cal 45, Nebraska 42 (Holiday Bowl)

Two more picks for Andy, and the Steelers generally just showed Cincinnati (again) that they made a mistake giving him that huge contract.

Sorry, Andy.  If this is the best you can do, you’ve regressed since the Rose Bowl.  You have a lot  of work to do next year, once the annual one-and-done playoff is over for you.

The Cornhuskers made their obligatory comeback after falling down by 18 in the third, but Tommy Armstrong’s last-gasp heave fell short as time expired.

Nice going, Mountaineers.  You let a freshman quarterback beat you.  TCU should’ve hung 60 on you idiots.

But even at that, at least you gave A&M a game.  That’s more than we can say for “Big Game” Bob Stoops.

The calls for his head on a pike have just increaesd about a hundredfold.  You don’t generally put a coach who’s won a national championship for you on the hot seat…but Bobby is now on the hot seat.

No Todd Gurley?  No Hutson Mason?

No problem.  Just give it to Nick Chubb.

Freshman Nick Chubb took over from there, running for a career-high 266 yards and two touchdowns as No. 13 Georgia defeated 21st-ranked Louisville 37-14 in the Belk Bowl on Tuesday night.

Chubb’s rushing total was second highest in school history, behind only Herschel Walker’s 283 yards rushing against Vanderbilt in 1980.

Speaking of getting run over…I knew the Yellow Jackets had a ground game (and not much else), but if you don’t at least try  to force them to pass, it’s gonna be a long day.

And thus it was for the Bulldogs.

Wasn’t a very good day for Mississippians in general, in fact.  Bo Wallace was intercepted on the third play of the game by Chris Hackett.  Two plays later, the Frogs went all Boise State again on the Rebels when Kolby Listenbee took a lateral and fired a strike to Aaron Green for a 31-yard score.

It went downhill for Ole Miss from there.  The dagger came when Wallace, having just escaped a safety by diving out to his own 2-yard line, was blitzed by Paul Dawson & Marcus Mallet and tried to intentionally ground the ball.  He was in the back of the end zone – which, once the penalty was called, would’ve resulted in the safety for the Frogs.

Enter James McFarland.  The defensive tackle made a diving catch of the ball in the end zone for the Tadpole touchdown.  28-0…game, set, match.

It’s a safe bet that TCU could probably have beaten all four of the so-called College Football Playoff teams.  Like I said – this is nothing more than the BCS with two extra teams, and TCU has just shown that it could beat them all.

Playoff committee, rope, lampposts.  Some assembly required.

This week:  4-3.  Overall:  81-29-1.

Be right back with this week’s PFW.

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Shlappy Screw Blear!!!!!1!!~ http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8794 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8794#comments Thu, 01 Jan 2015 14:27:34 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8794 (hic!)

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PFW:&#160 So it’s late – so what? http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8788 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8788#comments Sun, 28 Dec 2014 16:39:43 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8788 Okay, Denizens, so I’m a little late with this week’s Perfect Football Weekend™, mkay?  Bite Sue me.  It’s not like I really had a lot of games to work with, y’know?  (Although I prob’ly would have picked #22 USC to go over the Pelini-less Nebraska Cornhuskers, so we’ll go ahead and count that.)

We open up this week to find…that the consensus in Cleveland seems to be that the Browns are still looking for their franchise quarterback:

With coach Mike Pettine admitting this week that the Browns will have doubts about Johnny Manziel even if he hits “it out of the park” in the final two games and “a ton of doubts” if he doesn’t play well, the Browns will explore all of their options at quarterback, including trading up into the top five to draft Heisman Trophy winner Marcus Mariota.

Browns general manager Ray Farmer has repeatedly said that he’ll always explore every option at all positions — and Mariota is one glaring and tempting possibility for the Browns this offseason. The Browns have scouted him this season and will continue to do so.

This from the gang that drafted Johnny Football.

And then we wonder why some franchises never seem to get it.

Okay, let’s go.  Cincinnati gets the wild card tonight, as they’re in Pittsburgh to play the Steelers for the AFC Central title…anyone who honestly thinks they’re gonna beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh…?


Yeah, thought so.

Wednesday, it’s Gary Patterson and his top-ranked sixth-ranked TCU Horned Frogs in the Georgia Dome to play the Peach Bowl versus Ole Miss.  The Rebels should be respected – for one, they haven’t bowed (much) to political correctness, and still call themselves the Rebels.  Secondly, they’re the only team this year to have beaten Alabama.  That in itself raises an eyebrow or two.

Vegas right now has the Frogs as a 3½-point favorite.  Means I won’t have any fingernails left by game’s end.  Pisses me off, ’cause I have to work that day.

For the wildcards, we’ll take West Virginia in the Liberty Bowl over the Jekyll-and-Hyde Texas A&M Aggies (both teams will play backup quarterbacks; I’m betting WV’s are better than A&M’s), Dabo Sweeney’s 17th-ranked Clemson Tigers over the Oklahoma Sooners in the Russell Athletic Bowl (Bob Stoops’ season comes to a merciful end), 13th-ranked Georgia to feast on Louisville Cardinal in the Belk Bowl, and a tip o’ the hat to the Vicar, as #7 Mississippi State runs over Georgia Tech in the Orange Bowl.

We’ll come back New Year’s Day with a recap, assuming the hangover isn’t too bad, and start another PFW right after that. GO FROGS!!!!

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Merry Christmas 2014, Denizens! http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8785 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8785#comments Thu, 25 Dec 2014 13:56:08 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8785

Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.

Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.

While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”

When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.” So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.

When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.

The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.

—Luke 2:1-20 (NASB)

And may God add His blessings to the reading of His holy Word.

Merry Christmas, Denizens.  This season, more than any other – remember why.

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Vicar’s sermon(and readings) from 21 December 2014 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8776 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8776#comments Wed, 24 Dec 2014 15:42:19 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8776 Folks, I do not make it a point to post mu sermons online. Those sermons are for the Congregation God has given into my care, and not for the world as a whole, but as tomorrow is the celebration of our Lord’s earthly incarnation, I thought I would post this one. Our weekly readings are based on a three year lectionary, and I have included the readings.

2 Sam. 7:1-11,

1 Now when the king lived in his house and the LORD had given him rest from all his surrounding enemies, 2the king said to Nathan the prophet, “See now, I dwell in a house of cedar, but the ark of God dwells in a tent.” 3And Nathan said to the king, “Go, do all that is in your heart, for the LORD is with you.”

4But that same night the word of the LORD came to Nathan, 5″Go and tell my servant David, ‘Thus says the LORD: Would you build me a house to dwell in? 6I have not lived in a house since the day I brought up the people of Israel from Egypt to this day, but I have been moving about in a tent for my dwelling. 7In all places where I have moved with all the people of Israel, did I speak a word with any of the judges of Israel, whom I commanded to shepherd my people Israel, saying, “Why have you not built me a house of cedar?”‘ 8Now, therefore, thus you shall say to my servant David, ‘Thus says the LORD of hosts, I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, that you should be prince over my people Israel. 9 And I have been with you wherever you went and have cut off all your enemies from before you. And I will make for you a great name, like the name of the great ones of the earth. 10And I will appoint a place for my people Israel and will plant them, so that they may dwell in their own place and be disturbed no more. And violent men shall afflict them no more, as formerly, 11 from the time that I appointed judges over my people Israel. And I will give you rest from all your enemies. Moreover, the LORD declares to you that the LORD will make you a house.

16 And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever.’”


Romans 16:25-27

25 Now to him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery that was kept secret for long ages 26but has now been disclosed and through the prophetic writings has been made known to all nations, according to the command of the eternal God, to bring about the obedience of faith— 27to the only wise God be glory forevermore through Jesus Christ! Amen.


Luke 1:26-38

Birth of Jesus Foretold

 26In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. 28And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” 29But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. 30And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

 34And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”

 35And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy— the Son of God. 36And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.



Sermon, 21 December 2014                                                                                                                                                                                       David Hartung

2 Samuel 7:1-11,16                                                                                                                                                                                                       Advent 4b

God’s Covenant with David

Grace Mercy and Peace be unto you, from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen!

As our Old Testament reading begins, King David has consolidated his power in Israel, and has driven out the foreign powers who had threatened Israel since the time of Joshua, has conquered Jerusalem and has made it his capital. Things have settled down a bit and David has been able to build himself a nice house. All in all things have come a long way from the days when he had to hide in a cave for fear of Saul’s anger.

Now that he is no longer off fighting wars and such, David becomes concerned that he is living in the palace of a king, while the Ark of the Covenant, the dwelling place of the Lord’s presence In Israel, still resides in a tent; David has seen to to it that the tent was a nice one, but still the Ark is relegated to a tent. As one who is anointed of the Lord, David is very aware that he is where he is because of what God has done, rather than because of his own military and political savvy, let alone his brilliance. It is very likely this realization, which causes him to be concerned that the Ark is still in a tent, instead of in a house far more suited to the Glory of God.

Most of us can probably understand David’s thoughts. David is an honorable, God fearing man, and he determines to give his God the honor he deserves, and tells the prophet Nathan that he is going to build a proper House for God. Nathan appears to have been a close confidante of David, in addition to being a prophet, and he tells David to “go for it”, that God will approve. Nathan understands David’s feelings, and recognizes that David’s desire is nothing more than to give God the glory he deserves, but God has other plans. That night God came to Nathan and gave Nathan those “other” instructions.

Here is where things get interesting.

Speaking through Nathan God points out to David all that he has done for him and for Israel, and then essentially he goes on to say “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” I am going to do still more! I am going to give Israel a permanent home, one where they will never again have to worry about being dislocated, and I am going to make your house, your line, the head of that nation! God’s exact words were: “I will make for you a great name, like the name of the great ones of the earth.”(2 Samuel 7:9) These words are eerily similar to what God said to Abram in Genesis(12:2) “And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.” God promised to make of Abram a great nation, and now he is promising to make David’s family the head of that nation. With the advantage of 20/20 hindsight and three thousand or so years of revelation and study, we know that these words are messianic in nature. We know that these words, both to Abram and to David were the promise of the Messiah.

As most of you know, I do not always put a title on my sermons, but I have titled this one “God’s Covenant With David”. What is happening here is that God is in essence reinforcing with David the covenant he had made with Abram.

What is a covenant?

A modern term for covenant would be agreement or contract. God was contracting with David to guard and to protect his children Israel, to make Israel his own, and he was contracting with with David for his family to head Israel forever. Covenants like Contracts are always two way. Each party brings something to the table. In this case God was promising to guard and to protect his children, and in return David and Israel promised to be faithful. Included in that promise of God’s was and is the promise of a redeemer, because we always seem to be in in breech of our part of the contract. That redeemer is what God is speaking of when he tells David that his line will be a house.

Think about that for a minute. This contract God made with David included a clause which held that when we fail to keep our end of the covenant, God would provide a means to declare us in compliance. That means is of course Jesus of Nazareth, who as God’s only begotten son is at the same time a direct descendant of David, and the creator of David. In other words despite our legal default on our contractual obligations, and also because Jesus, the begotten Son of God has given his life as the full penalty for our default, we are declared to be in compliance of our contractual obligations.

How does this relate to the Advent season we are just completing, and the Christmas season which will begin on Thursday? It is simple really. You and I are in default of our contract or covenant with God. We have not been faithful, but yet God has faithfully kept his end of the bargain, even providing the redemptive sacrifice by which he has declared us to be in compliance. It is the birth of that perfect sacrifice we are commemorating and celebrating. Beginning on Wednesday evening, we will celebrate the birth of a baby.

More importantly, we will celebrate the fulfilment of the promise first made by God that day so long ago in the Garden the Day that Adam and Eve first disobeyed him; yet even as we celebrate, even as we coo and laugh at the beauty of a new born babe, we remember the purpose of that babe, we remember that he was sent to be sacrificed on a Roman cross, and we give thanks to God that through that sacrifice we have the gift of eternal life.

In the world of man, when someone breaks a contract, he is sued, in God’s world when a man breaks the only contract we have with God, God takes upon himself the contractual penalties and declares us to be in compliance. If there is a better reason to rejoice, I cannot think of it!

May peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.



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Impending visit from General Claus http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8770 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8770#comments Wed, 24 Dec 2014 06:01:46 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8770 DB 201412240001

ALL PERSONNEL, please read enclosed.


General Claus’ Visit

To: All Personnel

_1._ An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this headquarters 25 December 2014. The following instructions will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit:

_a._ Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through normal command channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained through the office of OSURG, Veterinary Services.

_b._ Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 2014. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 1900 hours, 24 December 2014.

_c._ Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. This item will be drawn from the servicing dining facility.

_d._ Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety Officers will submit stocking hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 2014, ATTN: AEAGA-S, for approval.

_e._ At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 1995, will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown prior to start of official clatter.

_f._ Prior to 2400, 24 December 2014, all personnel will be assigned “Wondering Eye” stations. After shutters are thrown and sashes are torn, these stations will be manned.

_g. _ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus’ driver who, in accordance with current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking and be able to shout “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.”

_2._ MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19 December 2009, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-In.

_3._ Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.” This shout will be given on termination of General Claus’ visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division chiefs.

Colonel, US
OIC, Special Services

At ease, troops. 

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PFW:&#160 Attaboy, Andy! http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8773 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8773#comments Wed, 24 Dec 2014 05:59:57 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8773 Nice going, Mr. Dalton.

at Cincinnati 38, Denver 27

Nevada 3, Lousiana-Lafayette 16 (New Orleans Bowl)

Utah State 21, UT El Paso 6 (New Mexico Bowl)

Utah 45, Colorado State 10 (Las Vegas Bowl)

Air Force 38, Western Michigan 24 (Famous Idaho Potato Bowl)

BYU 48, Memphis 55

Texas U’s defeat at the hands of BigamY U just made Charlie Strong just that much sicker.

Also, there was a fight at the end of the game.  BigamY U won on sucker punch points.

Way to embarrass the Mountain West, Nevada.  At least when TCU got a bowl against a Lousy-ana opponent while in the MWC, they took care of business.

It wasn’t so much Andy’s night (17/26 – 146 yards, one pick) as it was the Bengal defense (four picks of Peyton, one a pick-six), plus a couple of sacks.

The Bengals winning with defense.  Whoda thunk it?

With the win, Cincy assures itself of a playoff spot – which means the PFW will go a little longer than expected. 

This week:  4-2.  Overall:  77-26-1.

The PFW will return Friday night, when we call the Peach Bowl (and maybe scarf down some Chick-Fil-A in the process).

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PFW:&#160 Bowl season…and I got nothin’ http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8766 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8766#comments Sat, 20 Dec 2014 14:56:55 +0000 http://www.spatulacitybbs.net/?p=8766 Well, Denizens, it’s bowl season, and that means that as a lead-in for this week’s Perfect Football Weekend™ – I got nothin’.

About the only thing really going on in football right now is that…well, here’s the backstory.  Back in May, there was a lawsuit filed in federal court against the NFL that claimed that…

the league illegally supplied them with risky narcotics and other painkillers that numbed their injuries for games and led to medical complications down the road.

The lawsuit alleges that the league obtained and administered the drugs without prescriptions and without warning players of their potential side effects, to speed the return of injured players to the field and maximize profits. Players claim that they were never told about broken legs and ankles and instead were fed pills to mask the pain. One says that instead of surgery, he was given anti-inflammatories and skipped practices so he could play in money-making games. And others say that after years of free pills from the NFL, they retired from the league addicted to the painkillers.

Well, I can’t find the link on it, but I was listening to the Ben Ferguson Show on WBAP yesterday on the way to work, and according to Fergie, a judge dismissed the suit.

(shrug) Meh.

Okay, let’s get to it.  Bowl season starts…

MERLIN:  Ahem.

VENOMOUS:  Yes, Wizard?

MERLIN:  The Core Teams™…?

Well, there’s only one – Cincinnati hosts Denver Monday night, and Peyton’s gonna torch the Bengal secondary, and Andy’s probably not gonna look too good against John Fox’s defense; thus, so much for the PFW.

So for the wildcard games, we’re doing Nevada over Louisiana-Lafayette in the New Orleans Bowl (always take the Mountain West team against any Sun Belt team), Utah State over UTEP in the New Mexico Bowl (ditto for the MWC over Conference USA), 22nd-ranked Utah over Colorado State in the Lost Wages Las Vegas Bowl (the Utes always used to dominate the Rams in the MWC; no reason they shouldn’t continue to), Air Force to run roughshod over Western MIchigan in the Potato Bowl (Western Michigan?  Really?) and BigamY U. to cream Memphis Monday night in the Miami Beach Bowl.  (The Miami Beach Bowl???  Really???)

We’re back Tuesday or so with the recap.  In the meantime…Vicar, have you ever thought about using football tie-ins in your sermons? 

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