(This one will stay on top all day.  Look below for new posts – today only.)
(ED. NOTE:  The following originally appeared in this space last year.  I’m reprinting it now, with appropriate tweaks.
And Skip – my son, you may not understand this now, but the reason I’m writing this has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with why you don’t get to ever spend any time with me, thanks to your mother and your grandparents.
And thanks to what they’re probably telling you about me, you might not even believe any of this – but it’s true, and I have the documentation to prove it.
I do love you, son.  I realize your mother will try mightily to persuade you that I don’t – but I do, very much.  Someday – hopefully – I’ll get to show you.)
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rita Cosby – the hottest newsbabe on TV, in the opinion of this King & Tyrant™ – is gone from Fox News!!!
(insert multiple sobs here)
(sigh) Okay, Uma Pemmaraju, it’s up to you to carry the mantle of Queen Of The SpatulaHarem™ now…