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Denizen Tarc has passed along word that po’ widdle Mikey Cwook, the limp-wristed fucktard who hosts the site www.forsakethetroops.info (no, I’m not providing the link; you’ll have to cut & paste it yourself – I’m not giving him free hits), looks like he’s now faking his own death.

As of 18:15 hours Central Daylight Time, the site said this:

On Monday evening, the webmaster of Forsake The Troops was brutally assaulted by two men, thought to be members of the military, in response to their opinions about this website. Mr. Crook had been the target of numerous death threats and trespassers at his residence. All of these threats were saved and have been turned over to the authorities.

UPDATE: At 6:19pm Eastern time, Michael Crook died of his injuries, after being rushed by ambulance to the leading hospital in the area for head trauma. The two men who allegedly assaulted him are currently in the custody of police. Mr. Crook died with his wife and infant daughter present.

It is therefore the decision of his family, and associates that Forsake The Troops goes offline, to prevent further incidents of violence and threats against his family. Therefore, this domain will permanantly go offline at around 5pm Eastern time, on Tuesday, May 17th, 2005.

Comments, and well-wishes may be addressed to condolences@michaelcrook.com. Media inquiries (no interviews with family at this time), or sincere inquiries from well-meaning people may be directed to (315) 295-2602.

Leave a voice mail message and your call will be returned by our media representative. The family requests privacy at this time.

The Navy Times, however, is rather dubious about the claim.

So here’s my message, Mikey, you cowardly fucknozzle:&#160 You’re a lying little sack of putrid shit.

Sad to say, you’ve not assumed room temperature, nor are you anywhere close&#160 to assuming it, so bugger off, you walking leaky colostomy bag.&#160 Suggest you go fuck yourself with a rusty lead pipe – it’ll be another infection you can add to your collection.

Bastard.

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Okay, guys, can you tell I’m jonesing for football…?

Now, if the pooch’s name was only “Rothelisberger”…

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Guys, we have ourselves a slam-dunk winner in the Spatula City BBS! 2005 “No Shit, Sherlock&#153” award competition.&#160 Nope – no further need to count chads, be they hanging, dimpled, dented, whatever.

I would not have believed it myself, Denizens, had I not read it with mine own eyes.

Dingy Harry Reid actually put together a sufficient number of brain cells to say this:

“The goal of the Republican leadership and their allies in the White House is to pave the way for a Supreme Court nominee who would only need 50 votes for confirmation rather than 60,” the number of senators needed to maintain a filibuster blocking a confirmation vote, Reid said.

No.&#160 Shit.&#160 Sherlock.&#160 That is&#160 the magic number for confirmation, don’tcha know, dumbass??? (Actually, it’s 51, but we have Cheney, so…)

Great Honkin’ Cthulu&#153, is this bozo ever thick…

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