Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 6:04
The folks over at WorldNetDaily had this story about the re-introduction of Ebonics at the San Bernadino, CA school district.
Then, as is their fashion, they came out with a poll to gauge the response of its readers.
The question was: “What do you think about Ebonics in today’s school curriculum?”
Here were the possible answers:
Da mo Ebonics, da better
Gots to have it, ’cause dats how many kids be talkin’
Dis be no different than Spanish
Ain’t nuttin’ wrong with dat
Homeboy teacher gots to be speakin’ da same talk as da students, ya dig?
Day be promotin’ wrong speakin’
Ridiklus, da only ting American chillin’ be needin is trainin’ in basic English
Stupid is as stupid do
None o’ da above
Who says Joseph Farah doesn’t have a sense of humor?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 14:09
Scotty has beamed up for the last time.
James Doohan has died of complications from Alzheimer’s at his home in Redmond, WA. He was 85.
A character actor in the ’50s, one audition and three years changed his life & career forever.
The Canadian-born Doohan was enjoying a busy career as a character actor when he auditioned for a role as an engineer in a new space adventure on NBC in 1966. A master of dialects from his early years in radio, he tried seven different accents.
“The producers asked me which one I preferred,” Doohan recalled 30 years later. “I believed the Scot voice was the most commanding. So I told them, ‘If this character is going to be an engineer, you’d better make him a Scotsman.”‘
The series, which starred William Shatner as Capt. James T. Kirk and Leonard Nimoy as the enigmatic Mr. Spock, attracted an enthusiastic following of science fiction fans, especially among teenagers and children, but not enough ratings power. NBC canceled it after three seasons.
When the series ended in 1969, Doohan found himself typecast as Montgomery Scott, the canny engineer with a burr in his voice. In 1973, he complained to his dentist, who advised him: “Jimmy, you’re going to be Scotty long after you’re dead. If I were you, I’d go with the flow.”
“I took his advice,” said Doohan, “and since then everything’s been just lovely.”
He was this scribe’s favorite character on the show. Not to mention a lot of other Trek fans’, as well; the Next Generation episode “Relics” was one of the fans’ all-time favorite TNG episodes.
Farewell, Scotty. You’ll be sorely missed – the starboard power coupling won’t be the same without you.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:49
Okay, so let’s see: Lying to a federal grand jury doesn’t “rise to the level” of impeachment.
But, according to Bonnie Fwank (D-Maththachuthettth), mishandling an investigation where there’s not even any evidence of a crime is.
Rep. Barney Frank said late Monday that Congress should begin an impeachment investigation into the Bush administration’s handling of the Leakgate scandal and not wait for Special Proscecutor Patrick Fitzgerald to determine whether any laws were broken.
For some reason, I’m reminded of the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck/Elmer Fudd scene:
BUGS: Would you like to shoot me now or wait ’til you get home?
DAFFY: SHOOT HIM NOW!!!! SHOOT HIM NOW!!!!
BUGS: You keep out of this! He doesn’t have to shoot you now!!!
Just sayin’, is all.
“During the Clinton impeachment, the Republicans kept saying, remember, impeachment does not mean the end of the process. It is the beginning,” Frank told MSNBC “Hardball” substitute host Campbell Brown.
Well, we first had to gather evidence that a crime was committed. And we did, Bonnie.
You’ve got…pray tell, what again?
“I must honestly say, I do not trust the president to do an independent investigation here,” Frank explained.
That’s quite alright, Reprethentatve Fwank. We don’t exactly trust you to be an objective voice in the matter, either.
When reminded that the Leakgate probe was in the hands of a special prosecutor, Frank sounded confused, telling Brown: “Yes. But it is still also the president, because I don’t think not being convicted of a crime [should] be the only qualification for being deputy chief of staff.”
Actually, that’s true. We also like it when they run campaigns that score clear victories over the opposition and help gain/retain majorities in Congress. That’s a good qualification, too. (chuckle)
Moments later, Frank was asked whether Democrats should really be “pursuing impeachment proceedings on this” rather than addressing issues like Social Security reform.
“Yes. No, I think we can do both,” he insisted.
Well, you might – if you were the majority party. Last I checked… (crickets chirping)
On Friday, Rep. Frank and his House colleague John Conyers asked the Library of Congress to determine whether “high-ranking members of the President’s staff are subject to the Congressional impeachment process.”
Well, that’s doubtful, but I’m sure you can find a black-robed, tin-plated asshat excuse-for-a-judge to find an emanation or penumbra in the Constitution.
Have you tried looking in Florida?
The Frank-Conyers letter continued:
“We believe that the rationale for impeachment clearly applies to high-ranking officials who wield presidential authority in many cases with even more impact than some cabinet officers. And we do not see any Constitutional language that would exclude such officials from the impeachment process.”
“Except when there’s a Democrat in the White House. Can’t touch ‘em then.”
F.E.T.E., as the Imperial Torturer might say…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:27
Courtesy of the Sibling Unit…
Makes one kinda wish that the Demoscum were right on this one, and it was really all about the oil. That way, we might not be paying two-and-a-quarter for a gallon of regular, y’know?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:36
For your Sunday Tidbit, Denizen David Hartung provides us with this very-well-written column by Victoria Toensing and Bruce Sanford concerning the Lame Plame Blame Game that Val & Joey are playing with Karl Rove.
For what it’s worth, ask yourself this: Given that a NY Slimes reporterette is now serving time in jail over her refusal to testify before a grand jury over her source for this leak of the identity of a CIA analyst – not a crime in and of itself, if the truth be told, but work with me here – and given that everyone seems to want to finger Mr. Rove for this…would the Slimes really want to stay quiet about this, if there was even the remotest chance that Karl Rove could be perp-walked out of the White House? Would the Paper of Broken Record honestly shut up to protect the Demoscum’s Public Enemies Number One and Two (Bush & Rove)?
Mm-hm. Thought so…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 8:17
The lease on Bent Tree Forest is up in six weeks, so it’s time for the Great Apartment Hunt of 2005.
I’ll be out pretty much all day, so here’s something from the Grab-Bag:
QUIZ FOR PROFESSIONALS
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be “professional”.
Scroll down for each answer. The questions are not that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2.How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
3.The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.
4.There is a river you must cross, but crocodiles inhabit it. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers.
Andersen Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most professionals have less brains than that of a four year old.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:14
They say you know a man by the enemies he has. Looks like I’m going great guns.
Now, I realize you liberal fucktards who are members of the “I Play With Inflatable Dolls Too, Rev. Myk!!!” club generally can’t ponder or pontificate in words of more than one syllable, but try to keep up anyway. There are a couple of things that need to be explained to you.
I’ll try to type slowly so you can understand.
First off: You people can bloviate all you want about the Revvvvvvvvv’r’nnnnnd Mykki pointing me to a satellite map all you want. ‘Til you’re blue in the face would suit me just fine – you’re wasting our oxygen as it is.
The chickenshit Cortese has my address. He knows where I am. His best response is to…come halfway here to Tennessee? He’ll go halfway (or so he says), but he won’t come all the way down here? That’s why the “meet him halfway” argument fails. I didn’t post my address with the intention of catering to this punk’s every last whim. I gave him the chance to come be a hero. I gave him the opportunity to show the world what a bad-ass he really was.
Your boy was challenged to come down here, and he wimped out. Period, end, stop.
(Side note to Mr. von Vockerman: If you were, in fact, willing to pay my full way up there to Nashville (that’s not the impression I got from reading your comments, but still), could you not have taken that money and paid for Cortese’s full way down here? Oh, and another side note: It sounds like you were interested in making this a Marquis de Queensbury affair. With all due respect, sir, this is “Come say it to my face”, not Golden Gloves.)
The other thing is this: Yeah, this is a gated community. So fuckin’ what? That gate is broken at least a third of the time, and it’s not that hard to get past as it is. Besides, we have some pissant vandals/robbers who aren’t letting it stop them – there have been a couple broken-into cars in the last couple weeks alone. It ain’t like this is Fort Knox, y’know.
So using a gate as an excuse – “Ohhhhhh, there’s a gate here…guess we’ll have to turn around and go home, darn” – is pretty damned lame, even for you retarded leftist fucks.
But I’ve come to expect it from the likes of chickenshits like the Revvvvvvvvv’r’nnnnnnnd Mykki and his “flock”.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:07
Went straight from work to go fix a friend’s computer and didn’t get home until after 10:00 p.m, guys, so today’s gem is from Denizen Robert Mullane.
A wake-up call from Luke’s jets
Jun. 23, 2005 12:00 AM
“Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base: Whom do we thank for the morning air show? Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11 a.m., a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet.
Imagine our good fortune! Do the Tom Cruise-wannabes feel we need this wake-up call, or were they trying to impress the cashiers at Mervyns’ early-bird special? Any response would be appreciated.”
The reply is classic, and a testament to the professionalism and heroism of the folks in the armed services.
Regarding “A wake-up call from Luke’s jets” (Letters, Thursday):
On June 15, at precisely 9:12 a.m., a perfectly timed four-ship of F-16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt Jeremy Fresques. Capt. Fresques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke Air Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day. At 9 a.m. on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City to mourn the loss of a husband, son and friend.
Based on the letter writer’s recount of the flyby, and because of the jet noise, I’m sure you didn’t hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son’s flag on behalf of the President of the United States and all those veterans and servicemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured.
A four-ship flyby is a display of respect the Air Force pays to those who give their lives in defense of freedom. We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate respects.
The letter writer asks, “Whom do we thank for the morning air show?”
The 56th Fighter Wing will call (for you), and forward your thanks to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques, and thank them for you, for it was in their honor that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.
Lt. Col. Scott Pleus
CO 63rd Fighter Squadron
Luke Air Force Base
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 7:05
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:28
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 10:43
(NOTE: Cross-posted over at the Rott – will show up later today.)
LC Marcus has alerted us to a Loony Leftist Libtard named Michael “Po’ Widdle Mikey” Cortese, who fancies himself some sort of Mostest Leftest Reverend of the Church of the SubGenius. (We note, for the record, that the term “SubGenius” technically means “a level underneath genius” – and, since “half-assed, pathetic, brain-dead fucking lunatic loser moron” is a level under “genius”, we supposed that the “Revvvv’rnnnnnd M’yker’uuuuuuu”, as he’s wont to be called, is technically correct.
Just sayin’, is all.)
Anyway, we were advised that this Lame-Assed Leftard Loser, in the words of Marcus, “talks big about his M-1 carbine and dares “wingnuts” to take him on” – so were were obliged to go have a look and see if, indeed, we finally had a worthy adversary to issue a “CSITMF” challenge – or if we had just another limp-dicked weasel whose balls were papier-maché.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:35
Welcome again to the five or six readers of Straight Up With Sherri who have the balls to sign their names/handles to their posts…the dozens of cowardly fucks who hide behind their mommies’ skirts and post as “Anonymous”…
…and, hopefully, Sherri herself.
Some background: As most of you should know by now, a couple of days ago I was running through one of Sherri’s comment threads (now since deleted…for shame, Sherri), and decided that I’d had enough of seeing her constantly attacked by cowards who didn’t even have the decency to sign their name, and decided to speak up about it.
I employed the standard CSITMF schtick I’ve been employing for the last two years in the Blogosphere, and before that on the old NewsMax forums. (Any of you old Forumites who might be traipsing by – remember “sgc284″? Guess who? (grin))
Anyway, it got the standard reaction from the first-timers (the ones who’d never seen it before) – less-than-righteous indignation, pooh-poohs and the obligatory “he posted ‘his’ address…” (read: “oh, he’s lying; that’s not where he lives…”)
So I replied to that and posted the link to Blogfest Saturday at my place.
Well, that engendered a whole new round of indignation – “…they have guns there!!!!! And they’re posing in front of an apartment complex!!!”
Almost what you’d expect from old crotchety grandmas at a quilting bee, y’know?
Amongst that was yet another exchange I’ve already chronicled, both below and at Misha’s. Suffice to say, it’s not good to be an anonymous asshat today. (chuckle)
Anyway, Sherri herself has finally weighed in, so to speak, on all the goings-on of the last couple of days.
(It’s kinda long, guys, so back out now if you get bored easily.)
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:20
(NOTE: I posted this over at the Rott, but what the Hell – you guys can read it, too. (grin))
Y’know, LCs, we have a pretty good thing going here. Even before TypeKey took all the fun out of hunting limp-wristed trolls like Dumb Yeah…
(NOTE TO CASPIAN: There will be no angst about the words we use or how you were treated as a child on this thread. I don’t want to hear it. Shut. Up.)
…we have multiple of you guys here to instruct the poor simps on just how the cow eats the cabbage. Y’know? (grin)
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 14:14
Been in class all day, Denizens, so that’s why I haven’t had anything to say about the London explosions.
I’ll have something to say this evening. Watch this space.
For now, read what the SpatulaGoddess had to say about it.
UPDATE: I could not put it any better than Misha did when he said this:
May their death come soon, and may it be brutal, massive and without mercy, for those who show no mercy deserve none in return.
Nuke Mecca and let their heathen god sort them out.
I think that’s a good start. I think you start with Mecca and Medina, then get all the peace-loving Iraqis out of there and nuke that country.
Then Iran. Payback’s a bitch, and ours has been 25 years in coming. And then you overthrow the Saud government, because they’ve never been our friends, either.
In fact, every Arab country that doesn’t immediately bow their knee to us is a candidate.
I’m serious, Denizens. This War on Terror has gone on long enough, and enough innocent citizens, both American & British, have paid a price they didn’t need to pay.
It. Is. Time. To. End. It. Every mosque, every Qu’ran, every burqa – nuke it all. Get rid of these bastards now.
One of Misha’s commenters on the above thread, a guy named Ed from Ohio, put it better than anyone I know could:
hunt down the terrorists. slaughter them. burn their korans. humiliate them. beat their families. desecrate their graves.
Precisely. No mercy. They’re not worthy of it, and our supply has long since been exhausted.
End it, President Bush. Now.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:48
Spatula City BBS! welcomes the readers from Straight Up With Sherri. Particularly the cowardly fucks who don’t have the balls to post under anything except “Anonymous”.
The offer I made over there stands. (Relax, Denizens, you didn’t miss much – it was the standard CSITMF line.) Should any of you grow ‘em past the size of pinheads, feel free to come on by and say to me in public what you’ve been saying to Sherri from behind your mommy’s hoop skirt.
And we’ll see who gets dropped first.