Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:48
Spatula City BBS! welcomes the readers from Straight Up With Sherri. Particularly the cowardly fucks who don’t have the balls to post under anything except “Anonymous”.
The offer I made over there stands. (Relax, Denizens, you didn’t miss much – it was the standard CSITMF line.) Should any of you grow ‘em past the size of pinheads, feel free to come on by and say to me in public what you’ve been saying to Sherri from behind your mommy’s hoop skirt.
And we’ll see who gets dropped first.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 13:25
In yet another shining example of Your Tax Dollars At Work, one of the police departments down where we were at the Bacchanal on the Comal arrested a man for committing the most cardinal of sins – showing them up.
A San Marcos man was arrested after rescuing a swimmer from the swirling waters near a restaurant on the San Marcos River over the weekend.
Police say Dave Newman, 48, disobeyed repeated orders by emergency personnel to leave the water. The police report does not mention Newman’s rescue of 35-year-old Abed Duamni of Houston on Sunday afternoon.
Very likely because that would raise the obvious question: Where the Hell were they during this sequence and what in Great Honkin Cthulu’s name were they doing while this guy Duamni was drowning?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 7:05
We’ll start out the morning with a laugh from Denizen Robert Mullane:
You Know It’s Hot Outside When…
** you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible
** you’ve been getting hot flashes, and you’re a man
** the swans in the park come in “original recipe” and “extra tasty crispy”
** the strawberries are ripe, and the cab drivers are even riper
** your pool water starts to boil in the sun
** the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot
** pigs complain about sweating like fat humans
** a scalding hot shower still cools you down
** people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames
** a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants
** the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves
** you need a spatula to remove your clothing (Ed. note: Did someone say “spatula”?)
** you wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather
** you are sweating in both directions — up and down!
** your brother’s braces make blisters on his lips
** you are sitting inside reading these jokes