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Last week, I said that Bill Parcells wasn’t Gary Patterson, because he wouldn’t follow up an opening victory over a quality opponent with a loss against a dog like Patterson did.

Make a note of the date & time.&#160 I confess:&#160 I was wrong.

Arlington Heights 16, Saginaw Boswell 38
TCU 23, Utah 20 (OT)
Oklahoma 24, UCLA 41
Dallas 13, Washington 14

What is it with Arlington Heights when it comes to Saginaw Boswell? The Pioneers were 4-6 last year, 0-10 in 2003 – yet they’ve positively owned the Yellow Jackets.&#160 Memo to coach Duke Christian – try taking care of business when the opportunity is presented, eh?&#160 We’ve already got one&#160 coach in Fort Worth who plays down to the level of his competition.

Speaking of TCU, what is it with the Frogs and their freshman running backs? Couple years ago, it was Lonta Hobbs, and he hasn’t impressed since. Last year, it was Robert Merrill, and while he’s okay, he’s not tearing up the competition.

This year, it’s freshman Aaron Brown, who ripped the Utah Utes’ defense for 163 yards on 17 carries, earning him Mountain West offensive honors for the week.

The defense, after being shredded on the Utes’ first two possessions, solidified and pretty much shut Utah down.&#160 For once.

I had a feeling it was gonna be ugly, and UCLA didn’t disappoint.&#160 Bob Stoopes’ Oklahoma Sooners played better than they did against TCU or Tulsa…but they were playing a team that is a damned sight better than either the Froggies or Hurricanes.

Gonna be a loooooooong year for OU.&#160 Especially if they don’t do a better job of protecting the ball (seven fumbles Saturday, five lost).&#160 Ew.

And speaking of long years…(sigh) Okay, I know that Washington has a great defense and all.&#160 And I know that Mark Brunell, although slightly less mobile than Vinny Testaverde, can still throw the ball downfield.

But I expected better than what I got Monday night at Texas Stadium.&#160 I expected a helluva&#160 lot better.&#160 Especially in the fourth quarter.

The Cowgirls had been pitching a shutout.&#160 A fucking shutout.&#160 Brunell hadn’t done shit&#160 all night long, except get sacked five times.&#160 Dallas had fucking dominated&#160 the Deadskins.

And then Aaron Glenn and Roy Williams let Santana Moss run past them for a touchdown catch with four and a half minutes left.

And then with three minutes left – THEY FUCKING LET HIM DO IT AGAIN!!!!&#160 The same&#160 receiver, on the same&#160 two defensive backs, for the fucking same&#160 result.

Two touchdowns in two minutes.&#160 Ball game.&#160 Now I know why Houston cut Aaron Glenn’s sorry ass.&#160 He wasn’t within five yards of Moss while the ball was in the air on either play, nor did he chuck the bastard at the line like he should have.&#160 We might as well have had Pete Hunter or Derek Ross back there for all the fucking good it did.

So the end result was that a Swiss-cheese defense, led by a Swiss-cheese secondary, allowed a team to come from behind to win.

Sound like anyone on University Drive in Fort Worth you&#160 know???

Bill Parcells, you were&#160 77-0 when leading by 13 in the fourth quarter.&#160 But that was back when people thought you resembled a halfway decent coach.

We know better now.&#160 Get your ass out while people still think you’re halfway decent.&#160 Before you really do turn into Gary Patterson.

The PFW will return Friday for another round.

UPDATE:&#160 Oops.&#160 Almost forgot:

Texas A&M 66, SMUT 8

Gee, how the mighty&#160 have fallen.&#160 Not quite all that & a bag of chips after all, are&#160 you, Phil Bennett?

Just to give you an idea about how this game went for the Shitland Ponies, A&M was up 24-8 at halftime – and was bitching&#160 amongst themselves about how poorly they were playing.&#160 A 28-point 3rd quarter fixed that&#160 in a hurry.

Thanks, Dennis “The Mercenary” Franchione.&#160 Now I can go back to hating your guts again. (chuckle)

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Looks like it’s gonna be a One-Legged Man&#153 kinda day, Denizens, so here’s something from the Grab-Bag&#153:&#160 Two cows.

• A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
• A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
• A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
• A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow at five times the market price cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
• A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with sour, soy milk.
• A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
• DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was given to him by the American government.
• CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
• BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
• AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
• A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
• A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
• A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eats once a month, and milk themselves.
• AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.
• A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
• A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don’t know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.
• A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge for storing them for others.
• A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
• AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

Yeah, sounds about right.

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(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess.)

Charles and the boys over at Little Green Footballs has a breaking story about an America West flight that was reportedly fired upon by a surface-to-air missle.&#160 Michelle Malkin has more.

48-hour rule on this, as always – but it’s most disquieting, nonetheless.

UPDATE:&#160 According to Malkin, it’s being classified as a “false alarm”.

The sighting was reported near Colt’s Neck, NJ, which is a major route south out of NY. FAA set up a small temporary flight restriction around the area while checking radar files. Turned out to be nothing more than birds, and [a] big game of “telephone.”

Ooooooooooo-kay.

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There might be hope yet for the Donks.&#160 At least one Democrat is ready to dispense with the finger-pointing and Bush bashing.&#160 And it’s a Democrat you’d not have expected to be so conciliatory.

That Democrat:&#160 Donna Brazile

On Thursday night President Bush spoke to the nation from my city. I am not a Republican. I did not vote for George W. Bush — in fact, I worked pretty hard against him in 2000 and 2004. But on Thursday night, after watching him speak from the heart, I could not have been prouder of the president and the plan he outlined to empower those who lost everything and to rebuild the Gulf Coast.

Bush called on every American to stand up and support the rebuilding of the region. He told us that New Orleans and the entire Gulf Coast would rise from the ruins stronger than before. He enunciated something that we all need to remember: This is America. We are not immune to tragedy here, but we are strong because of our industriousness, our ingenuity and, most important, because of our compassion for one another. We are a nation of rebuilders and a nation of givers. We do not give up in the face of tragedy, we stand up, and we reach out to help those who cannot stand up on their own.

The president called on every American to reach out to my neighbors in New Orleans and throughout the Gulf Coast. The great people of this country have already opened their hearts in the immediate aftermath of the storm, and their tremendous generosity has done more than just provide extra comfort — it has saved lives. Now the crisis of survival is over. But the task of rebuilding remains, and the president made it clear that every single one of us has a role to play.

Each of us belongs to some group — a church, a union or a fraternal organization, or even a book club — that can make a difference. It is those groups that can pool resources and then reach out to their counterparts in the stricken states and ask, “What can we do?” Schools, Girl Scout troops, Rotary clubs — this is the time for every community group to step forward to lend a helping hand. We need it.

The president also laid out the federal government’s goal for rebuilding. It is unprecedented in its scope and ambition, matching destruction that is unprecedented as well. He made the challenge clear: This will be one of the biggest reconstruction projects in history. But he also made it clear that we can and will do this. New Orleans, Biloxi, all of the Gulf Coast will rise again. And the residents are ready to pitch in and do their part.

Indeed, as the Puppy Blender might say.&#160 Thank you, Donna, for setting the example for your fellow libs.

Let’s hope some of them follow that example.

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I was going to go off yet again on “Shitcan” Shee-hag – she’s now calling NOLA “occupied New Orleans”, as if our troops had as little right to be there as the bitch thinks we have to be in Iraq, the Cupid Stunt&#153.

Then the SpatulaGoddess ripped the trollop not just a new one,&#160 but a new three or four.&#160 Day-um,&#160 but it’s good.

Hie thee hence and have a looksee.&#160 That’s an order.

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Still bitter over the fact that he lost by five million votes and four percentage point to the President of the United States, John-Boy F’n Qetchup-ass has weighed in on the restoration of N’awlins.

“Leadership isn’t a speech or a toll-free number.

Well, it’s sure as Hell&#153 not having a “plan” which you refuse to share with the American people, O Qetchup Qing.&#160 Nor it is berating our allies for waging “the wrong war at the wrong place at the wrong time”.&#160 And it’s not sitting before a Congressional committee and castigating the actions of your fellow soldiers as “reminiscent of Genghis Khan” (oh, and by the way, asshole, it’s “Genghis”, with a hard&#160 g).&#160 And leadership sure as shit&#160 isn’t embellishing what you did in Vietnam in order to get two more Lavender Hearts than that to which you were entitled.

In fact, Horseface, WTF do you even know&#160 about “leadership”?&#160 ‘Cause you damned sure don’t look like one from where I&#160 sit.

Leadership is getting the job done.

We might have gotten&#160 the job done, Botox Boy, had your fellow Demoscum down in NOLA bothered to let them in, for Gawd’s sake!

No American doubts that New Orleans will rise again, they doubt the competence and commitment of this Administration.

No, we on the Right who think with our heads (as opposed to you jerkwads on the Left who think with your asses) don’t blame Bush at all for Katrina.&#160 We understand that Nagin and Blanco, Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, had scores of buses waiting to be deployed to get people out of harm’s way – and they failed to order them into service, allowing them to get flooded, as well.

We understand that FEMA is not a first-response agency, and that they’re doing the best they can.&#160 And we also understand that instead of pitching in and helping, all you bastards on the Left seem content to do is stand there and bitch.&#160 And we’re fucking tired of it.

Weeks after Katrina, Americans want an end to politics-as-usual that leaves them dangerously and unforgivably unprepared. Americans want to know that their government will be there when it counts with leadership that keeps them safe, not speeches in the aftermath to explain away the inexcusable.”

Then have a heaping helping of STFU, John-boy Fucking Qetchup-ass, roll up your sleeves and get to work.&#160 And don’t let T’Raisin get within so much as half a mile of the French Quarter, is that clear?

Stupid-assed elitist fuck…

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Cowboys quarterback Drew Bledsoe was named the NFC Offensive Player of the week yesterday for his performance against the Chargers.&#160 He’s the first Cowboy quarterback to win the award since Quincy Carter a couple years ago.

Let’s hope Bledsoe hangs around a bit longer than did Q-Car. (snicker)

Further demonstrating my point that I’m right in referring to The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever&#153 as “Donna”, the National Football League fined Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle Chad Lavalais $7,500 for applying a helmet to the chest area of McJerkface.

Po’ widdle baby Donna.&#160 Memo to the NFL:&#160 Football is a contact sport.&#160 Put a dress on Donna if you don’t want defenders to breathe on him.

On to this week’s PFW.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have their first “home” game (if you can call it that) tonight at 7:00 vs. the Saginaw (TX) Boswell Pioneers.&#160 Hard to handicap this game – Boswell handled Heights last year, 7-20, but the Jackets mauled the Pioneers the year before, 29-7, so I dunno.&#160 Could be a home-field advantage type thing, which would seem to favor the good guys this year.&#160 We’ll see.

Also tonight the Utah Utes come to Fort Worth to hand the TCU Horned Frogs and their in-over-his-head coach, Gary Patterson, their collective asses on a platter.

I’m calling for Utah in a squash.&#160 Please.&#160 The sooner we get Patterson out of here, the better for the program.

Oklahoma University finally gets an idea of what kind of season it’s gonna be Saturday, when it travels to Californication to take on the Bruins of UCLA.

Given what’s happened the last two weeks, I fear the worst.

LSU is off this week.

Monday night, the Dallas Cowboys take on the Washington Redskins in the home opener at Texas Stadium. Dallas has won 13 of the last 14 against the ‘Skins, so you’d think that Washington is due.

Not this week, though.&#160 You’d expect a TCU-type letdown after such a big win last week – but Bill Parcells is not&#160 Gary Patterson.&#160 Plus, the ‘Boys are at home against a team that struggled to put up nine points against (snicker) Chicago.&#160 Look for Dallas to win comfortably.

And we have a bonus game on which your humble reporter will keep tabs.&#160 The World’s Greatest College Football Team Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever&#153 (at least, if you ask them), SMUT, will travel to College Station this week to take on Dennis “The Mercenary” Franchione and the Texas A&M Aggies.

Normally, this is a game where I wouldn’t care who won, so long as both teams kicked the shit out of each other.

But I’m in the unusual position of having to pull for&#160 a team I hate with a passion – that is to say, any team that Franchione coaches.&#160 I want A&M to kick SMU’s ass up the field and right back down, just to prove to them that they’re not&#160 all that and a bag of chips.&#160 And I think I’ve got a good shot at seeing that happen Saturday.

As usual, feel free to talk about your teams.&#160 (Except for you, “Dr Pepper” or whatever your name is, wanker.&#160 You’re gonna continue to be my bitch. (chortle))

Back for the recap Tuesday.

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TheBlueStateConservatives has a blurb about Air Scaremerica losing two more stations in Charleston, SC and Providence, RI.&#160 Falling ratings continue to be the culprit, as the Demoscummic Party continues to enjoy huge&#160 success getting its message out.

Gotta love that law of supply & demand. (snicker)

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You know things are really sad over at Air Scaremerica when they virtually can’t even give away their advertising:

A California radio station is pleading for advertisers to sponsor the liberal programming of the Air America shows it broadcasts, while noting the conservative Rush Limbaugh show is virtually sold out on its sister station.

“For liberal programming to continue … you need to support it,” said an ad by KOMY station owner Michael Zwerling, according to the Santa Cruz Sentinel.

Great Honkin’ Cthulu&#153, have the Lunatic Leftard Laughingstocks&#153 discovered…capitalism???&#160 I mean, whatever happened to “from each according to his ability”, etc?&#160 Have they figured out…(gasp, arrrrrrgh)…the law of supply and demand???

Be still, my beating heart…

“You can’t be coy in this business,” said Zwerling. “You have to spell it out, especially in Santa Cruz where everybody thinks they deserve everything.”

Uh, Zwerling, m’boy…that’s not just in Santa Cruz.&#160 Go look at that Bush Country map again.&#160 Whereever you see blue, you’re likely to find that particular attitude.&#160 It’s called “entitlement syndrome”.

Zwerling brought Air America to the Central Coast region of California in July, and during initial negotiations, he says network executives refused to allow Al Franken to share a dial with syndicated radio host Michael Savage, known for statements such as “liberalism is a mental disorder.”

“As soon as I said Michael Savage, the door slammed shut,” Zwerling said.

I’m not surprised.&#160 The mindset over at Air Scaremerica tends to be one of an open wound, and Michael Savage is the salt.

Though there has been some letters and calls of appreciation for airing the liberal content, not a single business has purchased air time during Air America’s slot since its debut.

And that’s not surprising, either.&#160 Businesses trying to make money know their target demographic.&#160 And they have a good idea what that demographic likes to listen to.

And it ain’t Air Scaremerica.

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Proving yet again that it’s all about her, “Shitcan” Shee-hag is now bitching at, of all people, Senator DiFi (Socialist Fuckhead-CA)

The Vacaville woman who made national headlines with a peace vigil outside President Bush’s Texas ranch brought her rhetorical guns to bear Friday on one of California’s U.S. senators.

Cindy Sheehan — whose son, Casey, 24, was a soldier killed in Baghdad in April 2004 — met briefly with an aide to U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., before telling reporters the lawmaker’s reasons for supporting Iraq’s ongoing occupation are “very bogus.”

And who would know better about bogus&#160 than ol’ Shitcan herself, who keeps foolishly trying to convince us that this is alllllllll about Casey – when in fact, it’s really all about her.

More »

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Denizens, have you ever heard of the concept of “attaboy/awshit”?

It goes like this:&#160 You can collect a thousand “attaboys”…but just one “awshit” wipes them all out and you have to start All…Over…Again&#153.

For his victory over Oklahoma, Gary Patterson collected 999 “attaboys”.&#160 For his sorry-assed job of coaching Saturday night, he earned himself yet another “awshit”.

TCU 10, SMU 21
Oklahoma 31, Tulsa 15
LSU 35, Arizona State 31
Dallas 28, San Diego 24

JaMarcus Russell threw a 39-yard touchdown pass to Early Doucet on fourth down with 1:13 left to play to give fifth-ranked Louisiana State a thrilling 35-31 victory over No. 15 Arizona State in a classic non-conference showdown at Sun Devil Stadium. (Hat tip to the Sports Network – I didn’t see any of the game.)

Something’s seriously wrong with the Sooners.&#160 Down 15-7 deep into the third quarter, they ditched their passing game completely and force-fed Adrian Peterson the ball.

It obviously worked, as 24 points in the last quarter-and-a-half will attest – but the Sooners apparently do not have a quarterback.&#160 This does not bode well for Bob Stoopes, as OU travels to UCLA next week, nor does the schedule get any easier, with TU looming over the horizon.

That’s TU, as in just-beat-Ohio-State-at-the-Horseshoe TU.&#160 Uh-oh.

I saw something Sunday I honestly had not expected to see:&#160 A Cowboy team that played well more often than it played crappy.

There were still a couple of glitches on both sides of the ball – the offense committed five straight penalties during one seriea and botched a snap (leading to a turnover and SD’s first points) on another; the defense allowed an easy touchdown on a post pattern in the second quarter and Charger 3rd-down conversions were somewhere in the neighborhood of 60% – but the line protected Drew Bledsoe when it needed to and allowed Julius Jones more than a bit of room to run.&#160 And the defense came up 7’s on the Chargers’ last-minute drive for the winning TD, forcing three incompletions from inside the 10 and intercepting Drew Brees’ last-gasp fourth-down pass in the end zone.&#160 Anthony Henry justified his major-mondo signing bonus right there, I think.

Keyshawn Johnson had a pair of touchdowns, Jones one and Patrick Crayton was 6-for-89 with a touchdown.&#160 (What’d I Tell You&#153 about keeping an eye out for this guy?&#160 He’s gonna be a great one, mark my words.)

Bledsoe was 18 of 24 for 226 and 3 TDs, while Jones went 26 for 93.

On to that travesty in University Piss Saturday night.&#160 Seems that Gary Patterson is on his own personal “Shock the World” tour this year.

Last week, he shocked the world by beating a team previously considered good.&#160 This week, he shocked the world by losing to a team universally considered to be piss poor.

The Shitland Ponies were slogging along in first gear – three & out, three & out, three & out – until midway through the second quarter.&#160 The only reason they were in the game, in fact, was because TCU was sleepwalking through the first half themselves; a first-quarter field goal from failed-bit kicker Peter LoCoco staked the Froggies to a 3-0 lead – the only points the offense would score all night.

So on yet another&#160 three-and-out by Skip & Muffy U, they line up to punt – whereupon their punter promptly gets slammed into by our rush.&#160 (To be fair, we’d already blocked one of their kicks – but it stands to reason that they’d be a little more prepared to handle the rush next time, so why get greedy?)

Boom.&#160 Fifteen-yard penalty for roughing the punter.&#160 Five plays later, the Glue Factory Nags took a lead they would not relinquish, and the Toads wind up giving the Iron Skillet back to SMU.

Ess.&#160 Emm.&#160 Fucking.&#160 Ewe.&#160 A half-assed excuse-for-a-team to whom no self-respecting Division I-A college football program should ever&#160 drop a game.

Aw, shit.

Gary Patterson was real fond last week of saying, “duh, yeah, I beat Oklahoma with my&#160 players – no more Franchione recruits here”.&#160 Yeah, Patterson, you freakin’ moron – you got your ass kicked by Skip & Muffy Preppy U. Saturday night with your&#160 players, too.

I’ve been fooled for the last time about you.&#160 You’re in over your head – you may be a halfway-decent defensive coordinator, but so was Dave Campo – and he bombed as a head football coach, just like you’re doing now.&#160 I said last week that if you didn’t make short work of SMU, the victory over OU wouldn’t mean shit.&#160 And you didn’t, and it doesn’t.

From this point forward, I’m calling for whatever powers-that-be at TCU to fire your sorry ass posthaste, and to hire a bona fide&#160 head coach who can get this program turned back around before it regresses to the days of Billy Tohill and Jim Shofner – back to the days of 1-10 and 0-11.

The PFW will return on Thursday to chronicle TCU’s descent into 1-2.

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(The following is a column which appeared on my web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.&#160 It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

I got four hours of sleep last night. I’m fighting the obligatory yearly case of tonsillitis. My throat hurts like Hell ™, my body is racked with soreness, and – not to put too fine a point thereupon – I’m in need of a tube of Prep H.

You get the idea. (sigh)

So here I am on LBJ Freeway in Dallas, plodding my way through traffic, fighting hard the urge to fall asleep at the wheel, literally. I’m listening to our sports-talk/guy-talk station on AM, the Ticket (KTCK 1310), when the sports jocks there suddenly exclaim something to the effect of, “WTF…?!”. Apparently, a heavy jet has veered off course and slammed into one of the World Trade Center twin towers in New York City.

“Wow,” I’m thinking, “they’ll likely stay with this one all day”, and I immediately turn over to the news/talk station here, WBAP 820, for all the coverage. Yes, I admit it – I’m fascinated by carnage.

At that point, though, I’m thinking tragic accident. Somebody’s plane lost its hydraulics and careened out of control, and the World Trade Center, unfortunately, was simply in the way.

That was 7:50. At 8:09, my worldview – and that of 280 million Americans, I would bet – changed radically.

At that point, a second jet slammed headfirst into the other tower. At that point, it’s not just a major tragedy. This looks just a weeeee bit too organized to be a coincidence.

It’s 8:20 when I get to the office, and I meet my buddy and old Wingtip Courier dispatcher as he’s driving up. He hasn’t been paying attention to anything. We get inside the office, and I bring him and our other compadre up to speed on things (he wasn’t listening to the radio, either, which was surprising). I go into my office and try pulling up a video stream for any of this. It’s 8:25.

Fifteen minutes later, the message is clear: America is under attack for the first time in 60 years. Yet another heavy jet has crashed – this one into the Pentagon. Reports are coming in about multiple hijackings. I’ve read a report about a worldwide alert issued last Friday concerning our resident international terrorist, Osama bin Laden, Two & two are quickly starting to come together.

(Side note: Don’t let them tell you they had no warning. I’m not kidding about that worldwide alert concerning bin Laden. They knew. Damned right they knew.)

I can’t pull up anything on the ‘Net – and I have a T1 at work. The radio offers some details, but I want to know more. I run across the street to the CompUSSR to scope out the TV images.

And ohmigod – what TV images. I saw the second plane come in behind the first tower, and a plume of fire and deep black smoke explode out the other side. I saw the collapsed side of the Pentagon. I saw both WTC towers collapse – I had to ask someone if they’d collapsed all the way, so incredulous was the scene there. (A third building nearby would collapse six hours later.) I heard reports of yet another plane crash – this one near Pittsburgh. Rumor has it that the plane was headed to Camp David – we’re somewhere around the anniversary of the Camp David accords, so I hear.

Returned to work around 11:00 in a state of near-shock. Twenty minutes later, I received the go-ahead to go home. After a quick stop-off at the school to check on my wife, I arrived home and turned on the TV to Fox.

The images there were even more unbelievable than before. Fox had the direct angle on the second tower hit. They also had better angles on the collapse of both towers – although by that time, there was so much smoke & dust that one could hardly make anything out.

After a quick lunch, I sit down here to gather news stories, and I find this.

That’s right, sports fans. Here are a group of Palestinian squids laughing, dancing and cheering the attack on us, whom they call “the Great Satan”.

Compassionate people, those Palestinians.

Okay, now that I’ve bored you with my day, here’s my analysis: CNN early on was doing everything it could to avoid calling it a terrorist attack. But, Spatulaites & Spatulaettes, it’s too coordinated, too organized to be anything but. These events had to be planned months in advance. Certain people had to be installed at just the right junctures in order to pull this off – our airport security procedures, despite the fact that they’re handled by part-timers making minimum wage, are still way too strict. People who knew how to fly those planes had to arrange for passage on these planes. This would have been a major undertaking for simply one airliner – for four to have been hijacked in this manner and turned into suicide machines screams for the fact that this is more than just a Chinese fire drill.

So. Who’s got the capability to pull it off? Who has the money to train these thugs, place them right where they needed to be placed, and then turned loose? And who among them hates us enough to target us? Not to mention, who’s stupid-assed enough to try it?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, go back to school and take a comprehensive reading course. You think about it, there’s really only one man who qualifies: Osama bin Laden.

There can be no question. The mastermind behind the 1993 bombing at the aforementioned World Trade Center is so consumed with hatred for the United States that it sticks in his craw that he failed to bring us down eight years ago. So he decided to try and finish the job, gambling that we’ll be too chicken-shit to do anything about it.

(Second side note: Yeah, the Palestinians and the Taliban in Afghanistan are denying responsibility. Don’t believe the bastards. This is their baby.)

This is where George W. Bush needs to prove him wrong. Take this one to the bank, my friends: The Bush presidency – whether he believes it or not, whether he likes it or not – rides on how he handles this.

America is screaming for justice. More to the point, America is screaming for revenge. This is nothing short of an act of war. Yes, war. There’s been a formally undeclared one on us now, by most of the non-Israeli countries of the Middle East, for several years now. The Muslims hate our guts. The Syrians, the Iraqis, the Iranians – we’re their enemy. “Death To America” has been cruising at #1 on the Middle Eastern Top 40 for several years. They’re getting bolder, too – because they think we’re too cowardly to fight back. They think we’ve forgotten how to fight.

If George Bush has any balls, now’s the time to prove them wrong.

This is your solution, like it or not: Any country harboring terrorists – that would include Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, et. al. – must be wiped from the face of the earth.

Scramble 30 bombers. Five warheads each – six if the plane will hold it. Bomb the shit out of these countries – get rid of these raghead bastards.

So what if you take innocents out, too? This is war, people. They don’t care about killing our innocents; why should we give a shit about theirs??

And that goes for the Palestinians, too. Let’s do Israel a favor and eliminate those sons-of-bitches from the annals of history, as well. They want to laugh and make merry at our misfortune, they need to pay the ultimate price.

Show the world some balls, George W. Teach them that there’s a price for fucking with America. Demonstrate to them that we have not forgotten how to fight!

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…as in “All I really need is a COUPLE DAYS OFF…!!!”

Denizens, I’m gonna take a day off from posting – still got stuff to do around here, plus the Sibling Unit&#153 has insisted that I hook up his washer/dryer and VCR (he’s, shall we say, technologically and mechanically challanged (grin)), plus there’s the Cowboy game and all, so there won’t be that much time for keyboard stuff today.&#160 (Not all that much different from Friday, except Friday was a One-Legged Man&#153 day.)

So, here’s a little something from the Grab-Bag&#153:&#160 The Biggest Lies&#153

The check is in the mail.
I’ll respect you in the morning.
I’m from your government, and I am here to help you.
It’s only a cold sore.
You get this one, I’ll pay next time.
My wife doesn’t understand me.
Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.
Of course I love you.
I am getting a divorce.
Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
I never inhaled.
It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.
I never watch television except for PBS.
…but we can still be good friends.
She means nothing to me.
Don’t worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on “empty.”
I gave at the office.
Don’t worry, he’s never bitten anyone.
I’ll call you later.
We’ll release the upgrade by the end of the year.
Read my lips: no new taxes
I’ve never done anything like this before
Now, I’m going to tell you the truth
It’s supposed to make that noise.
I *love* your new !
…then take a left.You can’t miss it.
Yes, I did.
Don’t worry, it’s OK — I’m sterile…

Mheh.

Will probably write the PFW recap this evening (if I have time) and post it tomorrow.&#160 Stay tuned.

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Whaddya wanna bet that if “Shitcan” Shee-hag had tried this tack, it might have gotten her some of that White House attention she was craving?

Seems that Loony Louisiana Leftard&#153 senator “Typhoid Mary” Landrieu got her knickers in a twist over suggestions that the N’awlins gendarmes&#160 were forsaking their sworn duty to protect & serve the citizens of NOLA so that they could join in the looting:

More »

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The question has been raised:&#160 Why am I blogging about football&#160 when people – Americans&#160 (gasp, arrrrrgh!) – are dying in New Orleans?

Well, we’ll forget, for the moment, that people die every day, all over the world.&#160 And yeah – a damned good many of ’em are Americans.&#160 In fact, we had one good one die this past weekend:&#160 William Rehnquist, chief justice of the United States Supreme Court, and a damned good American, IYAM.

There are two reasons why I blog on football:

1.&#160 It’s my damned blog.&#160 You want me to blog on something near & dear to your heart, email me (the address is down on the sidebar) with your idea and I’ll give it all due consideration.

Until then, I blog on what interests me.&#160 Not you, me.&#160 If that doesn’t set well with you, get yer own damned blog.

2.&#160 I haven’t much talked much about the Katrina mess because so many others have done such a better job than I could ever do.&#160 From Misha, BC and Sir George to Aaron’s cc: to the SpatulaGoddess to Bill Whittle, these are masters of the craft, and you guys do yourselves a major disservice by not availing yourselves of their wisdom.

There is&#160 one facet of the Katrina aftermath that I have my eye on – and if I have time this weekend, I’ll blog on it.&#160 Suffice to say – Mary Landrieu, get your skanky liberal Cajun coon-ass front and center, bitch.

With that said, let’s get crackin’ with the PFW.

Saturday evening around 8:30, the TCU Horned Frogs will come to Dallas and say it to SMU’s face.&#160 Normally, when the game’s in Dallas, it’s a squeaker (TCU won two years ago, 20-13, on a last-minute touchdown by Robert Merrill).

However, TCU is off that win at OU last Saturday, while the Shetlands were getting beaten at home by…uh…Baylor.&#160 That’s Baylor,&#160 as in 1-for-their-last-24-Big-12-games Baylor.

Memo to Gary Patterson:&#160 I’m not expecting 44-0 like I got last year, sir – but if you want the OU win to mean anything,&#160 Phil Bennett’s Ponies must be handled with relative ease.&#160 Understood?

Also Saturday, the University of Tulsa goes to Norman and pays for the Sooners’ sins of last week.&#160 TCU had an outside shot in that OU game – the Tulsa Hurricanes have absolutely zero&#160 shot this week.&#160 Best bet:&#160 take your whipping, collect your check, and go home.

Sunday, we find out just how good the Dallas Cowboys might be this year when they travel to San Diego to take on LaDainian Tomlinson and the Chargers.&#160 Tight end Antonio Gates is serving a suspension for this game, so the ‘Pokes key is simple:&#160 Control LT, and you have a better-than-average shot at winning.&#160 The longer you let him run wild, the longer the afternoon will be for you guys.

As it is, I think the Bolts will pull out a close one here.&#160 Six points or less.

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, you know the routine – you wanna talk about your teams, have at it.&#160 For my part, I’ll keep writing about what I damned well please, thank you very much.

UPDATE:&#160 Almost forgot about LSU.&#160 The Tigers were scheduled to play Arizona State Saturday in Baton Rouge.

That game will now be played in Tempe, Arizona.&#160 I expect the Sun Devils to win here, unfortunately.

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