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The Department of Bee-Effin’-Dee checks in with this news item concerning Sheryl Crow’s hired dick boy toy lover live-in boyfriend.

ROME (AP) – Lance Armstrong has been ordered to stand trial in Italy on charges of defaming cyclist Filippo Simeoni.

Armstrong’s lawyer in Italy, Enrico Nan, said Thursday that the seven-time Tour de France champion was indicted Wednesday and scheduled to go to trial on March 7.

Nan said Armstrong does not face jail time, but he could be fined if found guilty.

Memo to the Rome judicial system:&#160 Good luck collecting.

Armstrong is being investigated for pursuing Simeoni during an early stage breakaway in last year’s Tour de France and reportedly threatening him for testifying about doping abuse in the trial of an Italian doctor associated with Armstrong.

Simeoni told an Italian court in 2002 that doctor Michele Ferrari advised him to take performance-enhancing drugs. Later, Armstrong reportedly called Simeoni a liar, and the Italian sued the American for libel.

Hey, Simeoni?&#160 You’re not just a liar, you’re an asshatted, limp-wristed, fuckfaced son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch liar.

Go ahead and sue me.&#160 And do&#160 please come try to collect…heh…heh…heh…

Ferrari was given a 12-month suspended jail sentence in October 2004 for sports fraud and malpractice. He has always denied he dispensed illegal substances to athletes and is appealing the sentence.

Oh, and you’re a fuckin’ criminal, too.&#160 Sod off, Short Bus.

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