Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________




The Department of Hypocrisy Much, Fuckhead? weighs in with this story of former&#160 – and yes, it still feels damned good to say that – former&#160 Vice-Perpetrator Algore starring in today’s episode of “Which Demoscummic Shit-For-Brains Wants To Make An Ass Of Himself Today?”

Former Vice President Al Gore asserted Monday that President Bush “repeatedly and persistently” broke the law by eavesdropping on Americans without a court warrant and called for a federal investigation of the practice.

And I guess we should…well, we should trust&#160 the loser of the 2000 Presidential election,&#160 shouldn’t we?&#160 After all, who would know more about administrations breaking the law than he who served as the number-two man in the absolute most corrupt, half-assed excuse-for-an-administration in the history of the United States,&#160 hmmmmmmmmmmmmm???

More »

_____________________________________________________





I hate today.&#160 ‘Cause it snuck (sneaked?&#160 snook?&#160 snark’d?) up on me.&#160 Just like it does every year.

For today, Denizens…is the birthday of he who got me to revive Spatula City BBS! as a blog in the first place.

I speak, of course, of Emperor Darth Misha I of the Rottweiler Empire.&#160 Go by and wish him Happy Happies if you haven’t yet done so.

Thatisall&#153.

_____________________________________________________





(sigh) Another day, another .37 (adjusted for inflation & taxes)…another apology from Pat Robertson for something he said that’s absolutely bang-on right.

Pat Robertson offered apologies to the family of Ariel Sharon for comments he made immediately following the Israeli Prime Minister’s recent stroke in which Robertson said it was divine punishment for Sharon’s decision to divide the land of Israel and withdraw settlers from Gaza.

And it very clearly was…or at least, it can very well be interpreted that way.&#160 The Germans found out the hard way that you don’t mess with Israel; Yitzhak Rabin found out in 1995 via an assassin’s bullet that God doesn’t look fondly on the division of his land – and yes, Ariel Sharon is finding it out now.

So the problem is…?

More »

_____________________________________________________





Guyz, Denizen David Hartung reports that his wife is in the hospital, having possibly suffered a minor stroke.

Your prayers would be appreciated.&#160 For sure that family has mine.

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip to the Imperial Torturer&#153.)

You have got&#160 to go read this.

And that goes for every stinking one of you motherfucking treasonous bastards in the Lame Stream Media&#153.

Contrast actual coverage then with your coverage today,&#160 LSM, and then try to give me one good reason why we shouldn’t fucking waste the entire lot of you.

Thatisall.

_____________________________________________________





Eh.&#160 I might tell you – later.

Maybe. (mischievous grin)

_____________________________________________________





Okay, Denizens, it’s time for a reality check.&#160 ‘Specially for Youze Guyz&#153 who are going apeshit over the fact that Texas University now posesses a Waterford Crystal&#153 football.

Let’s get one thing straight right now:&#160 TU ain’t as good as USC – I don’t give a rat’s-assed flying fuck what&#160 the score was last week, mkay?

The fact is this:&#160 USC beat themselves – with unforced turnovers and poor coaching calls.

People’s Exhibit Numero Uno (a little Spanish lingo, there):&#160 2nd quarter, USC driving, Leinart passes to Bush, who rumbles for 35 yards – and then inexplicably tries to lateral the ball instead of doing the smart thing and going down.

The Trojans would very likely have scored a touchdown on that drive – or at the very least, a field goal.&#160 Instead, TU took the ball and drove for a field goal.

Six point swing right there.&#160 What was the final margin again?

People’s Exhibit Number Two:&#160 Fourth quarter, USC ball, fourth-and-two at the TU 45.&#160 The play call is LenDale White off left tackle – the very play TU admitted later that it was expecting, because “they hadn’t stopped it all night”.&#160 They did that time, for one yard.

If Leinart fakes the handoff and bootlegs, with TU selling out up the middle, he gains the two yards (and probably then some), USC kills the clock, and a horde of T-sips are crying in their orange beer all the way home to Sixth Street.

So don’t give me this bullshit about how TU whipped USC’s ass, mkay?&#160 You and I both&#160 know that that’s a crock.

TU was damned lucky to escape from Pasadena with a three-point victory.&#160 Play that game again and the Trojans whip Bevo’s lard ass up the field and right back down.

Don’t get me wrong – TU has a very good team (They should, given how much money goes into that program – if you catch my drift).&#160 But they’re not as good as USC, and that’s the fact, Jack.

So enjoy your Waterford Crystal&#153 football, TU.&#160 But now that Vinny’s going pro, I wouldn’t count on another one for a while.

_____________________________________________________





As you Denizens know, it’s never been any secret about what I think concerning polls.

It should, therefore, come as no surprise when I say, for the record:&#160 This poll is pure, unadulterated, 100%, non-biodegradeble bullshit.

And the reason that I think it’s bullshit can be found in this post from the good folks at Newsbusters.&#160 That post refers to a different poll (if I read it correctly), but it’s extremely likely that AP/Ipsos is polling the same people for this question concerning the NSA wiretaps – which is to say, the poll is heavily skewed in favor of the pro-terrorist Demoscum we have here in this country.

(And you’re exactly right, Leftards – I’m not only questioning&#160 your patriotism, I’m challenging it outright.&#160 You people flat-out ain’t got dick&#160 when it comes to supporting this country, and you can go fuck yourselves if you don’t like me saying that.)

So now I challenge the Administration:&#160 Don’t let up on the wiretaps.&#160 Tap any call you deem is either from or to a known terrorist organization.&#160 And you can add the Asshatted Crack-Smoking Limp-Wrists Union, Pissants for the Anti-American Way, San Fran Nan Pelosi, Dingy Harry Reid and Teddy the (hic!) Red-Nosed Senator to that list too, for all I give a shit.

F.E.J.F.E.

_____________________________________________________





New Year’s Day.&#160 Our society’s “Reset” button.&#160 Our culture – or what’s left of it, anyway – reboots, reloads and starts over.

And with every New Year’s Day comes two things in this household:&#160 New Year’s Reminiscing, and New Year’s Resolutions.&#160 A look back, and a look forward, as it were.

2005 was the Year of the Natural Disaster around the world.&#160 From the earthquake which caused the tsunami in Asia (and yes, I realize it happened at the tail end of 2004, but the effects lasted well into 2005) and the resulting devastation, to Hurricanes Katrina & Rita, which destroyed most of New Orleans and caused more than a bit of damage to Alabama, Mississippi and the Texas coastline, and killed close to 1,500 people, to more earthquakes in places like Indonesia, Micronesia, Turkey, northern Iran, Japan, China, Pakistan and even here in the United States, Ma Nature showed that she is still quite “red in tooth and claw”, to borrow a phrase.

(more…)

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, we’ll crank up the 2005 recap tomorrow.&#160 Just too much to do here, and work was a beast today.

Stay tuned.

_____________________________________________________





So, assclowns – how much do&#160 you pay those players?

Fucknozzles.

_____________________________________________________





If you’re a guy, go right ahead and nod yer noggin.

If yer a gal…Plbbbbbsthhhhhhh. (grin)

Slogans for Women’s T-shirts

1. So many men, so few who can afford me.>
2. God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.>
3. If they don’t have chocolate in heaven, I ain’t going.>
4. At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all…I just can’t remember it all.>
5. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.>
6. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.>
7. Coffee, chocolate, men…Some things are just better rich.>
8. Don’t treat me any differently than you would the Queen.>
9. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.>
10. Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.>
11. It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.>
12. I’m out of estrogen, and I have a gun.>
13. Guys have feelings too. But like…who cares?>
14. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.>
15. I hate everybody…and you’re next.>
16. And your point is…?>
17. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re OK now.>
18. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.>
19. Of course I don’t look busy…I did it right the first time.>
20. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.>
21. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.>
22. All stressed out and no one to choke.>
23. I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.>
24. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?>
25. Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.>
26. If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy.>
27. Don’t upset me! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

Ayup, mheh.

_____________________________________________________





It’s back to One-Legged Man&#153 status this week, Denizens, so don’t expect a lot that isn’t from the Grab-Bag&#153.

With any luck, the 2005 recap will likely be Friday evening, then I’ll have an interesting post on a fat-assed grinch out in East Texas and his sniveling, double-wide daughter.

Stay tuned.

_____________________________________________________





HOUSTON – Looks like I may owe Gary Patterson an apology.

TCU 27, Iowa State 24
Oklahoma 17, Oregon 14
LSU 40, Miami 3
Dallas 10, St. Louis 20

Rhett Bomar, Adrian Peterson and KeJuan Jones staked the Sooners to a 17-7 lead after three quarters of the Holiday Bowl, then Duck quarterback Brady Leaf did a great imitation of his older brother Ryan and threw an interception to help OU ice the game.

Bo Pelini should be up for a college head coaching job after 10th-ranked LSU completely destroyed the 9th-ranked Hurricanes.&#160 In fact, as ESPN reports, Miami didn’t even bother putting up a fight until after the game.

Matt Flynn subbed for an injured JoMarcus Russell, and at one point had led LSU on eight straight scoring possessions.

I said I’d come back with this recap if I weren’t hung over.&#160 After watching the Pussies In Silver And Blue&#153 with that POS performance against St. Louis, I wish I had&#160 gone out and gotten drunk.

The Cowgirls mailed it in against the Ewes.&#160 This.&#160 Team.&#160 Flat.&#160 Out.&#160 Quit.

And still&#160 we don’t know whether Tony Romo or Drew Henson can play a lick in the NFL.

There are rumors that Bill Parcells is going to retire after this season.&#160 Can’t come soon enough for me.

Y’know, I’d love to say that TCU beat Iowa State pretty convincingly yesterday.&#160 I’d love to say how Saturday’s victory validated the Frog football program, and how the Big XII made a colossal error by not including the Purple & White in its raid on the Southwest Conference all those many years ago.

And if I said these things…I’d be lying through my teeth.

TCU flat-out got its ass handed to it by the Cyclones Saturday.&#160 I can’t really put it any plainer than that.&#160 I was telling Iowa State fans after the game that they dominated us and that we just got lucky.

Until the fourth quarter, TCU’s running game was going nowhere – and at warp speed, I might add.&#160 Typical TCU drive during the second & third quarters:&#160 Rush for 2 on first down; rush for no gain on second down; third-down sack for an eight-yard loss; punt.&#160 Thankfully, the Cyclone running game wasn’t doing much better; neither team had as much as 50 rushing yards through three quarters.

TCU finally used Iowa State’s relentlessness to its advantage in the fourth, using misdirection to start gashing the Cyclone defense.&#160 Robert Merrill broke off a 33-yarder to get to the ISU 22, then would have scored on the very next play, had he not contracted a case of Lonta Hobbs Disease&#153 and coughed up the football at the 1.

ISU couldn’t sustain their next drive, however, despite having figured out what Fort Worth has known for two years now – there’s a reason why Quincy Butler’s nickname is “Toast”.&#160 Butler was flagged for two pass interference penalties during the day, and was burned for several other catches by Cyclone wideouts Austin Flynn and Todd Blythe, but Iowa State was unable to capitalize.

(UPDATE:&#160 Note to Quincy (assuming he or one of his buds at TCU is reading me):&#160 I’ll grant you that those calls were likely not legit.&#160 The officiating positively sucked yesterday.

Case in point:&#160 the Merrill fumble never made it to the endzone, but the fucking zebras awarded the ball to the Cyclones on the 20 anyway.&#160 And that wasn’t the only call that they blew, either.

But Quincy – ISU’s receivers, while good, aren’t great.&#160 You weren’t covering Reggie Bush yesterday – you, Drew and company needed to continue to assert yourselves.&#160 Had I been ISU’s offensive coordinator, I’d’ve thrown at you all game long, and I’d’ve blown out the Frogs.

End of mini-rant.&#160 Now, where was I…?)

The game came down to a 45-yard field goal attempt by another of the past two years’ scapegoats, Peter LoCoco.&#160 LoCoco, as you’ll recall, has had his problems over the last two years, costing the Frogs a home win last year vs. Tampa Bay Community College South Florida, and missing two field goals this year vs. SMUT.

But special teams coach Dan Sharp had a gut feeling, and with six minutes left in the fourth, the Frogs sent LoCoco out for the lead.

LoCoco made it right down the middle, and the TCU defense made it stand up.

TCU has won 11 games for only the second time since the 1938 national championship team, and won 11 plus their bowl game for the first time since ’38.&#160 A top-10 ranking is a possibility, rarefied air the Frogs haven’t sniffed since 1959.

The PFW will return in August with new teams, new visions of championships and such – and hopefully, a new Dallas Cowgirls head coach.

_____________________________________________________





HOUSTON – With all due respect to the man, his fans, and to ABC…

Dick Clark, it was painful to listen to you last night.

Just sayin’.

_____________________________________________________

    Next Articles »
_______________
 
 
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Hacked by ZAKILOUP was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.