Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

Now after the Sabbath, as the first day of the week began to dawn, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb.&#160 And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat on it.

His countenance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow.&#160 And the guards shook for fear of him, and became like dead men.

But the angel answered and said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified.&#160 He is not here; for He is risen, as He said.&#160 Come, see the place where the Lord lay.&#160 And go quickly and tell His disciples that He is risen from the dead, and indeed He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him. Behold, I have told you.”&#160 So they went out quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to bring His disciples word.

And as they went to tell His disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, “Rejoice!”&#160 So they came and held Him by the feet and worshiped Him.&#160 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell My brethren to go to Galilee, and there they will see Me.”

-Matthew 28:1-10

And may God add His blessings to the reading of His Word.

Denizens, today – April 16, 2006 – is Easter Sunday.&#160 Remember why&#160 we celebrate this day.

It isn’t about bunnies or colored eggs or candy, and it never has been.

He is risen.&#160 Rejoice!!!

So I see where Neil Young is returning to his stoner roots, thinking that this’ll somehow revive a flagging career.

And I’m reminded of the ol’ Lynyrd Skynyrd lyrics, which I shall quote for you (tweaking a lyric or two where appropriate):

Well I heard mister Young sing about him
Well, I heard ole Neil put him down
Well, I hope Neil Young will remember
A Southern man don’t need him around anyhow

Enjoy your “forced retirement”, Neil, you frothing-at-the-mouth moonbat.

Leave it to the Mothergoose to bail me out of yet another One-Legged Man&#153 day.&#160 She brings us this from the Land of Topical…

Mike over at ColdFury has this RCOB moment about a group of snot-nosed fascist punks who think they’re hot shits because the recruiters who voluntarily withdrew didn’t give said snot-nosed fascists what they properly had coming.

IYAM, it’s long past time these bastards were properly ventilated – if you know what I mean…

(Hat tip to LC Hujonwi – whose blog is a damned fine one that you oughta go read.)

Remember what they would always say about turnabout being fair play?

Go read this.&#160 Major-league nod warnings in effect.

Denizens, I got a couple of One-Legged Man Days&#153 coming up – the first of which is today – so here’s something from the Grab-Bag&#153, courtesy of the Mothergoose.

And a bonus – it’s even kinda topical.

Well, it appears our African American friends have found something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston) reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian-sounding names.

She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Woeisha, and Jamal. I can hear it now: A black weatherman in Houston saying …

“Wordup, Muthas! Herr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin’ fo’ Galveston like Leroy on a crotch rocket! Bitch be a category fo’! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo’ chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo’ de nearest FEMA office fo’ yo FREE shit!”

This’d be funny if it didn’t have that time-honored Kernel of Truth&#153 to it…

It’s a damned&#160 good thing I was elsewhere Sunday.

This is why.

Listen up, pendejos.&#160 That’s my friend you sons-of-Mexibitches are fucking with.&#160 That guy’s been my friend since the old Fidonet days.

You fuck with him, ass-sombreros, you’re fucking with me.&#160 And I’m talking to each and every one of you so-called 500,000 cobardes.&#160 Comprendes?

You want war with the United States?&#160 We’ll be fucking happy to oblige, mierdas de pollos.

Anytime you want, putas.

Denizens, after you’ve taken the poll – oh, Hell&#153, maybe even before – go read this marvelous rant by Mark Steyn.

Nail head.&#160 Hammer.&#160 Assembly not required – Steyn’s already done it.

I might have something later on, but for now, Denizens, go and take this poll, willya?

Thanks.

Run a picture of President Bush with the caption “Snipers Wanted” and nothing happens.&#160 Make an ass of yourself before a live studio audience and yell that they should go and stone Henry Hyde – zip, zero, nada, zilch, bupkis.

Dare to suggest, tongue-in-cheek, that maybe we should solve our border problems by shooting the illegal bastards the minute the cross our border, and watch the hornet’s nest erupt.

More »

Had a nice little post nearly ready to put up, Denizens – then I suffered a power outage and had everything wiped out.

That is to say, the second power outage in the last three hours.

Grrrr.

Maybe later…

Denizens, you heard it here…well, not necessarily first, but maybe the first time from such a dyed-in-the-wool.

The Republicans are going to get their asses handed to them, not only in ’06, but ’08 as well.

And this is why.&#160 They can call it “not amnesty” all they want, but if it walks, talks and smells like a duck, I’m sure as Hell&#153 not calling it a pig.

Senate Republicans and Democrats closed in on a last-minute compromise Thursday on legislation opening the way to legal status and eventual citizenship for many of the 11 million immigrants living in the United States illegally.

President Bush praised the lawmakers’ efforts, noting the details were unfinished, and encouraged them “to work hard and get the bill done.” Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., said he had been assured the president supports the emerging measure.

As outlined, it would provide for enhanced border security, regulate the future flow of immigrants into the United States and offer legalized status to the millions of men, women and children in the country unlawfully.

[…]

While final details were not available, in general, the compromise would require illegal immigrants who have been in the United States between two years and five years to return to their home country briefly, then re-enter as temporary workers. They could then begin a process of seeking citizenship.

Illegal immigrants here longer than five years would not be required to return home; those in the country less than two years would be required to leave without assurances of returning, and take their place in line with others seeking entry papers.

Standing before television cameras after an appearance Thursday in Charlotte, N.C., Bush said he was pleased that Republicans and Democrats were working together.

“I appreciate their understanding that this needs to be a comprehensive immigration bill,” the president said. “I recognize that there are still details that need to be worked out. I would encourage the members to work hard to get the bill done prior to the upcoming break.”

So Help Me God&#153 – if this is what comes out of Congress, and if this is what Needle-Dickya signs, I’m done voting Republican.

I’ll vote Constitution Party, or I’ll write in a candidate, or I’ll stay the fuck home.&#160 But I’ve had enough of a Republican Party that does nothing but slap its base in the face over and over and over and over…

And don’t give me any bullshit about me throwing away my vote.&#160 Fuck you if you think that.&#160 I’ve been throwing away my vote for fucking decades&#160 by voting for one thing and getting another.&#160 I’ve had enough of doing that, and I’m not going to do that any fucking more.

Vote for whom you like.&#160 But if it’s for a Republican, I won’t be joining you.

The RCOB moments just keep piling up, Denizens.&#160 This time, it’s one from that socialist hellhole known as New York City:

Legislation granting non-citizens the right to vote is expected to pass in New York City this year, immigration rights advocates tell the Amsterdam News.

Well, Hell&#153!&#160 If Zac Moussouai and his merry band of martyrs could have waited five years, they could have had control of an entire city!&#160 They wouldn’t have had to fly planes into our buildings at all!

“We’re very excited and very optimistic that this will pass,” New York City Councilman Charles Barron said at a recent press briefing. “We see this as the historical launching of something that should have happened a long time ago,” the outspoken Democrat added.

And why am I not surprised that a fucking Demoscum is behind all this?&#160 They see their voting blocs shrinking by the day, so they have to call out for reinforcements.

Whassa matter, Donktards?&#160 Couldn’t you bastards have mined for more cemetery votes?

Dubbed the “Voting Rights Restoration Act,” the measure would permit immigrants who have a green card to vote in municipal elections, including for mayor, comptroller and city council, after having lived in the city for six months.

WTF is it with this “Voting Rights Restoration” bullshit?&#160 You can’t restore what was never theirs (and shouldn’t be theirs, either) in the first place.

You dumb fucks in NYC want to restore&#160 the voting rights of a bloc, how about focusing on the military whose rights you took away from them in the 2000 election, hmmmmm?

The New York Coalition to Expand Voting Rights sees the measure being extended one day to state and even federal elections. “There is nothing in either the U.S. or the New York State Constitution that prevents us from expanding the franchise to include non-citizen residents,” a spokesman for the group argued in January.

And if we haven’t erupted into the Second Civil War by then, I predict that that’ll push this country over the edge.&#160 There are too many of us in this country who will not give the right to select who governs us to fucking foreigners.

That.&#160 Dog.&#160 Won’t.&#160 Hunt&#153.

Advocates claim that 22 states and federal territories allowed non-citizen voting during the 18th and 19th centuries. In New York, non-citizen residents were denied the right to vote in 1804.

That’s the Demoscum party for you:&#160 Wanting to take us back to the 1800s.

According to the Caribbean news service, Heartbeat News, the measure’s impact on New York City elections would be substantial, adding up to 1.5 million voters to rolls. Most of the new voters, experts predict, would cast their ballots for Democrats.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

While New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has voiced opposition to the proposal, City Council Speaker Christine Quinn told the Amsterdam News that she’s “open to talking about passage.”

Someone needs to make you open, bimbo.&#160 Preferably by ventilation, if you catch my drift.

In a statement issued by her office, City Council Member Melissa Mark Viverito praised the measure, explaining:

“East Harlem, Mott Haven and the Upper West Side are home to at least 25 thousand non-citizens of voting age who contribute in countless ways to the economic, social and cultural vitality of District 8 and NYC as a whole. Unfortunately they are not allowed to directly participate in choosing the municipal representatives who make the policies that affect their daily lives.”

Precisely, dumb-ass.&#160 BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT CITIZENS!!!.&#160 A good chunk of ’em are likely illegals, too, so they don’t need the right to vote&#160 – they need their asses kicked onto boats headed back where they came from!

Moronic little titweasels.&#160 Where’s that damned gun range…???

Well, Denizens, if I don’t calm down from wanting to give Ronnie “Colostomy Bagboy” Earle an early retirement, I’m gonna pop a blood vessel.

So, therefore, we’ll go in the opposite direction and do a “Most Ridiculous Item of the Day” bit, a la&#160 Bill O’Reilly.

Today’s entry from the Department of You Cannot Be Frickin’ Serious&#153 comes this blurb from Bollywood, of all places, and an Indian director who apparently wants to make a Mother Teresa B-movie.

An Indian movie director said he hopes to persuade Paris Hilton to play the role of Nobel laureate and prospective Catholic Saint, Mother Teresa, in an upcoming film.

“Her features resemble Mother Teresa,” director T. Rajeevnath told AFP from the southwestern coastal state of Kerala.

Yeah, and my features resemble those of Brad Pitt.

In a “round” about sort of way, of course.

The filmmaker said Hilton is on his shortlist after a computer-generated image showed a close facial match between the hotel heiress and the Albanian-born nun.

Why do I get the feeling this guy wasn’t looking at her face?&#160 Y’know?

“A meeting with Paris Hilton is scheduled for the end of April,” Rajeevnath said.

“Ms. Hilton, please to allow me to direct you over to this casting couch…”

The 54-year-old director is well-known in India for his Malayalam-language films, including “Janani” (Mother) — the story of seven nuns who care for an abandoned baby, which won a national award.

Hilton’s prior movie experience includes appearing in a home-made sex video made by a former boyfriend that appeared on the Internet, and parts in several Hollywood B-films.

The blond socialite, who is often the focus of US celebrity gossip columns, also starred in the US reality television show “The Simple Life”.

One can safely assume that Aishawarya Rai wasn’t available…

Shame the ranges are closed as I’m writing this.&#160 I’m having an RCOB moment right now, and some range time would come in most handy at the moment.

To say that I’m somewhat pissed about this story would be the understatement of the fucking century.&#160 Maybe the millenium.

Tom DeLay’s Congressional career is over.&#160 Ronnie Earle has finally managed to smear a FUCKING INNOCENT MAN into giving up his seat in the United States House.&#160 Once again, a son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch has managed to thwart the will of the people and overturn an election.

Congratulations, you fucking leftist Donk bastards.&#160 You’ve just brought this country one step closer to what your fellow rump-rangers over at the Daily Kossack and Demoscummic Underpants have been screaming for for a while now.

This will be remembered, you Motherfucking Michael Moore-on Mongoloids&#153.&#160 When the shit hits the fan for real and the Watering Can gets picked up and turned over, I want you socialist fucks to remember that you asswipes begged for it – with bullshit just like this.

Now to go find that range…