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As we kick off yet another quest for a Perfect Football Weekend&#153, we are alerted to this story about passing-game coach Todd Haley of the Dallas C’boys and his family’s experience at a Mickey D’s.&#160 Seems his wife and her nanny purchased a salad from one, brought it home, and upon beginning to eat it found a dead rat T.O. inside.&#160 (Apologies to rats.)&#160 The Haleys have filed suit.

This oughta be good.&#160 Pass the popcorn.

On to the PFW.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are guaranteed not to lose tonight.&#160 Might have something to do with the fact they don’t play.

Saturday, the TCU Horned Frogs have their Homecoming game against the Wyoming Cowboys.&#160 Usually you schedule homecoming games against the Little Sisters of the Poor, but UC-Davis wouldn’t reschedule.

The Frogs are favored by 6&#189 for this game, but I don’t buy that for a second.&#160 Give me TCU & 14.&#160 Seven if Marcus Jackson starts.

Also Saturday, the 19th-ranked Oklahoma Sooners travel to Columbia to take on Chase Daniel and the Mizzou Tigers.&#160 OU’s favored by 2&#189, and I wonder what OU team Vegas has been watching.&#160 This is gonna be a pitch-and-catchfest for Mizzou.&#160 Give me OU and 21.

Turner Gill should find the moron who made this 2006 scheduled for the UBuffalo Bulls – and wring his neck.&#160 The Bulls travel to Boston College Saturday to play sacrificial lamb to the War Eagles.&#160 The line is 35&#189 – and I’m guessing the final score will be more brutal than that.&#160 Gimme UB and 47.

Sunday night, the Tony Romo era officially begins for the C’boys as they travel to Carolina to get their heads handed to them by the Panthers.&#160 I’ve got my fingers crossed that Dallas can keep it close, but Carolina is not&#160 the team against whom you want to initiate the learning curve.&#160 Carolina’s favored by 5 at home; I think it’ll be at least 13.

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, perhaps LC John Wardle and the Humble Devildog could debate on who’d win between Bucky and the Redskins…

UPDATE:&#160 Oops.&#160 Forgot to mention LSU.

Understandable – they didn’t play, either.

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