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I don’t do this very often, but occasionally it’s warranted: Despite the two losses by teams I had in play, I’m making an Executive Decision&#153 and declaring this last one of the year a Perfect Football Weekend&#153.

Tracking a championship team will do that for you.&#160

TCU 20, UHouston 13
Dallas 6, at Washington 27
#4 Oklahoma 28, #9 West Inbred Virginia 48
#2 LSU 38, #1 Ohio State 24

I told you guys that Dallas would probably get its ass kicked for lack of want-to, and did they ever.&#160 That said, they could have at least feigned&#160 interest.

One aggregate yard rushing between Jewels Jones (who, thank Cthulu, is gone next year) and Marion the Barbarian was enough to tell you how little the Cowboys cared about anything except getting out of the regular season as un-banged up as possible.

Four starters – Newman, Gurode, Ratliff and Owens – sat out the game (Owens had that high ankle sprain).&#160 No one else played terribly inspired, and it showed.

…

Memo to Bob Stoops:&#160 I know you couldn’t give two flying fucks about me tracking your team, but much more of this and you’ll play your way out of the PFW.

Second memo to Brent Venables:&#160 Bo Pelini, you ain’t.

The simple fact of the matter is that the Inbreds were simply too fast for the Sooners, who inexplicably failed to use their strength (the power running game, leading to the play pass) against a smaller WV unit.&#160 A team that could have easily shoved the ball down the Mountainqueers’ throats tried to play cutesy against them and had their asses handed them on platters.

And the scary thing about that&#160 is that Steve Slaton, WV’s lightning-quick tailback, got hurt in the first quarter and sat out the game.&#160 The Inbreds did this to OU’s supposed stonewall run defense with a reserve tailback, Noel “Noelle” Devine.

MERLIN:&#160 “Noelle”?

LSIK&T:&#160 Well, that’s how the Fox guys were pronouncing it.

Bottom line:&#160 If Stoops is going to make a run at a national championship next year, he’s gotta get quicker & faster on defense.&#160 Maybe on offense, too.

And now I have reason anew to hate West Virginia.

ALL:&#160 ?????

LSIK&T:&#160 Bluebonnet Bowl, 1984.

MERLIN:&#160 Oh.

…

From about the second quarter on in Houston, I had four Cougar fans behind me who looked for all the world like illegal pendejos&#160 – and sounded like it, too.&#160 W0000000000000t!!!!!!!!

Believe me, I was sorely tempted to buy a cerveza&#160 or dos&#160 to throw in their faces.&#160 ‘Course, I’d’ve had to fight 45,000 pissed-off Houston-ettes – and I was unarmed at the time.

Fortunately, Texas Christian came back from a 10-7 halftime deficit, firming up its defense (yes, even the swiss-cheese secondary, at least until the final possession) and allowing Andy Dalton a few promising flashes of brilliance (he was 21 of 30 for 365, and overthrew a couple that would’ve each gone for six if caught) giving the hardcore Frog fan a modicum of hope for 08-09.&#160 If TCU finds receivers…watch out.

However, the game was sorely in doubt right up until the final play.&#160 After TCU failed to gain a first down on its last possession, they punted to the Houston 2 with 1:30 left in the game.&#160 Houston immediately did what I thought they should’ve done all night long – they proceeded to shred the Frog secondary.&#160 They drove all the way down to the Frog 20, where one pass into the endzone was just –) (– that much out of reach.

Another pass was dropped at the goal line, then with one second remaining, UH quarterback Case Kellum rolled to his left, where he was pursued and dropped by senior defensive end (and MVP, if you ask me) Chase Ortiz.&#160 At that point, 17,000 TCU fans at Reliant Stadium let out a collecting whoop of relief, and the party began in earnest.

…

Turning point of last night’s BCS championship game occurred in the second quarter with about seven and a half to go.

OSU quarterback Todd Boeckman, back to pass, got obliterated by reserve safety Ali Highsmith as he threw, and the pass was returned by Chevis Jackson for 34 yards.

Five plays later, Matt Flynn put the ball in Jacob Hester’s gut, and Hester pushed through for a 24-10 lead that would not be seriously threatened again.

Flynn was 19 of 27 for only 174, but he had four touchdowns.&#160 Hester ran for 86 yards and the other LSU touchdown.

All in all, it was a nice way for LSU to make its exit from the PFW.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 They won’t be back, m’Liege?

LSIK&T:&#160 Pelini’s returning to Nebraska, Lieutenant.&#160 While I like LSU okay, Bo was the only reason I followed them.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Oh.

This week:&#160 2-2 (Perfect Football Weekend achieved – executive decision due to the LSU championship).&#160 Final 2008 record:&#160 60-19 (.759).

The PFW will return in August 2008, when we’ll welcome back an old friend – the Nebraska Cornhuskers.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled leftard fuckhead bashing.