Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

The Department of Perspective Please, People! turns in this report on some Plano ISD students who could probably stand to invest in somewhat thicker skins.

Some Plano students who are Jewish say they were pressured or taunted to pick up copies of the New Testament from school display tables during recent weeks.

While their fellow Jews half a world away are surrounded by their enemies, face daily rocket attacks in some cases, and are (in some quarters) blamed for everything from 9/11 to the common cold.

You poor, pitiable, picked-on pissants.

Their parents have called for changes in district policies that allow outside groups to distribute materials on campus.

Because as we all know, we Christians are still burning ’em at the stake and engaging in Torquemada-style Inquisitions&#153 agin’em all.&#160 Rack, thumbscrews, 40 lashes, battery-enhanced electrodes to the nipples – we’re just torturing&#160 ’em all until they CONVERT, BAH GAWD!!!!

“Probably the one I heard the most was, ‘If the Bible touched you, like, will you burn or something?’ ” said Jeffrey Lavine, 16, a sophomore at Vines High School. “I sort of played it down as a joke and everything, which it was, but it was definitely a meaner comment than what we’re used to.”

I think it’s a damned valid question, myself.&#160 Why are you guys so afraid to even touch&#160 the New Testament?&#160 Do you think it was written in pigs’ blood or something?&#160 Do you honestly believe you’ll suffer spontaneous combustion if you so much as lay a pinky thereupon?

Plano officials said they pulled aside some students to talk about respect and tolerance after the recent complaints, but no students have been disciplined.

Of course, if some Plano students were to express extreme disrespect towards Christianity, we all know what would happen to said students, don’t we?

CRICKETS:&#160 (chirp chirp!!!)

Exactly.

Cheryl Halpern, who is Jewish, said it’s especially tough for kids who aren’t Christian. Her sons saw the Bible displays at Frankford Middle School last week.

The horror!!!!! (gasp!!!)

“Being a minority religion, we’re concerned when materials are distributed that may create uncomfortable situations for our children with their classmates,” she said.

Because as is common knowledge all around this great country of ours, it’s not the crumb-crunchers’ education&#160 that’s the top priority – it’s the little rug-rats’ comfort.&#160 Nothing else matters – right, Ms. Hslpern???&#160 Cain’t mess with the widdle knee-highs’ self-esteem, can you, you ass-hatted moron-ette?

How about you enroll your kiddos in school along the Gaza Strip, bimbo, then&#160 tell me about your kids’ “comfort”?

Sheesh.&#160