Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

Even though Misha – well, Brendan, but Misha chimed in later – already covered this, I would be remiss in not recognizing that the SpatulaGoddess Emeritus has just acquired the rank of 2nd Lt. in the United States Army.

Congratulations and Godspeed, N@!&#160 Love ya bunches…Sir!&#160

UPDATE:&#160 Just to clear up any confustations (grin), the SpatulaGoddess Emeritus&#160 is not&#160 the same incredibly beautiful, hawtness-exuding major-domo babe as she who currently holds down the title, although the Emeritus is&#160 breathtakingly, exceedingly hawt, without question.

The current&#160 SG is Beth, the Rottweiler’s Imperial Serving Wench&#153.&#160 Princess Natasha is the second lieutenant & SG Emeritus.

Glad we could clear that up.&#160

UPDATE the 2nd:&#160 And now added to the blogroll – how the Hell&#153 did I miss that?&#160 Damn senility…

[Scene:&#160 the bridge of Pegasus.&#160 Communications officer T-Bone McManx has just handed Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant a communiqu&#233 from Realm&#153 Command, and is scurrying out of the way as fast as his legs will carry him – he knows what’s coming.

Our Hero&#153, still wearing the hood of his cloak, takes the communiqu&#233 and studies it intently for about 15 seconds.&#160 The eyes begin to glow purple again.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Captain.

[Captain Korrioth, who has been attempting to locate the Shelliak shipyard HQ, jumps slightly.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 M’lord?

[His Rudeness gestures.&#160 Korrioth goes flying across the bridge and crashes hard into the bulkhead.]

LSIK&T:&#160 They found your bat’leth.

This horrifying five-foot weapon has been recovered by police during a knife amnesty.

The three-handled sword with a blade at either end, designed to be swung like a paddle, shocked officers who took custody of it.

KORRIOTH (shaking away the cobwebs):&#160 It is not&#160 a “paddle”!&#160 What, do those p’tahkmey&#160 think you can play ping-pong&#160 with it?

LSIK&T:&#160 Oh, it gets better, Captain.

A spokesman for police in Gloucester, where it was surrendered, said: “It is a particularly nasty weapon that can, literally, take someone’s head off. We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in.”

KORRIOTH:&#160 I will be pleased&#160 to give them my mek’leth&#160 in exchange – point first.

LSIK&T:&#160 Easy, my friend.&#160 They’re already scared shitless of your pride & joy as it is.

The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Believed&#160 to be?&#160 Do these morons not watch our chronicles?

LSIK&T:&#160 Apparently not.&#160 They appear to be too busy pussifying the general populace.

“It’s an extremely dangerous weapon,” said a martial arts expert last night.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Damn straight it is.&#160 Particularly in the hands of untrained amateurs.

LSIK&T:&#160 When we return after this conquest, you can…educate&#160 them.

KORRIOTH:&#160 You are most magnanimous, m’liege.

LSIK&T:&#160 Just don’t lose it again, okay?&#160 That’ll be thanks enough for me.

KORRIOTH (relieved that the resonance has left Spats’ voice):&#160 Mheh.

(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess.)

And no sooner did the Demoscum graciously&#160 decide to make Michigan & Florida each more than three-fifths of a state (how dare&#160 those li’l darkies exercise their own sovereignty as a state of the union by holding their primaries when they&#160 wanted, after all), than did the Lord B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi, the Almighty Messiah Of The Donktards&#153, move to once again make their votes totally fucking worthless.

Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama are working on a deal to give her some votes in the roll call for the Democratic presidential nomination, but quickly end the divided balloting in unanimous consent for Obama.

Basically, Denizens, what the Obumbler has done is grab Hillary by the hair, drag her into a back room, throw her into a corner, and say, “Lookee here, bee-yotch – you get those peasants of yours in line or I ain’t a-gonna pay off your campaign debts!&#160 And I may not pay ’em anyway, how you like that, you nappy-headed ho’?”

Democratic officials involved in the negotiations said Monday the idea is that at the start of the state-by-state vote for the presidential nomination Wednesday night, delegates would cast their votes for Clinton or Obama.

But the voting would be cut off after a couple of states, the officials said, perhaps ending with New York, when Clinton herself would call for unanimous backing for Obama from the convention floor. The officials spoke on condition of anonymity while the deal was being finalized.

Oh, really now?&#160 Gee, whatever happened to “Let Every Vote Count&#153”?????&#160 Whatever happened to “Count All&#160 The Votes!!!&#153″?????&#160 Whatever happened to all those accusations of stealing the election?&#160 For that matter, whatever the Hell&#153 happened to “Selected Not Elected&#153”?????

(crickets)

Yeah, I thought&#160 so…

“There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that this is Barack Obama’s convention,” she said, adding that it is only natural for there to be some lingering issues to resolve after a tough primary.

“It would have been the same way if I had won and Barack was here supporting the unity of the party,” she said. “This was a hard-fought campaign and there was a lot of intensity and passion associated with it, in part because of the historic nature of our two candidacies.”

Actually, Duchess, you should probably hang onto those delegates.&#160 You still have a greater-than-zero chance of winning – especially if the superdelegates wake up and read the polls.&#160 That five-to-six-point lead Gallup showed Obambi with over McCain?&#160 It’s gone.

Hillary, you still have a chance to make history here.&#160 You can complete an unbelievable comeback and snatch grab this thing right from under Obambi’s nose, if only you take the initiative.

Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead, Duchess!&#160 You can do it!