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Continuing the Demoscummic National Circle-Jerk Party Extravaganza Extraordinaire&#153 theme of Donktard Presidential Candidates Who Think They’re Way More Talented Than They Really Are&#153, we have here failed 1988 campaign laughingstock Michael “The Loser” Dukakis wailing & gnashing his teeth over his landslide defeat at the hands of Bush 41:

“If I had beaten the old man you’d of never heard of the kid and you wouldn’t be in this mess,” 1988 Democratic presidential nominee Michael Dukakis told CBS News’ Katie Couric today.

This is from the failed presidential-campaign bit who was soundly defeated got his ass handed to him by close to eight percentage points, over seven million popular votes, a 4:1 state margin and 315 electoral votes, and the guy thinks he actually had a chance against Bush the Elder.&#160 After the tank incident and those metrosexual, half-assed comments about Kitty and any potential rapist thereof – he thought he actually had a chance.

Must…not…give…in…aw, t’Hell with it.

As we launch the first official week of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, we find that things are running a little tensely in Huskerland.

Nebraska coach Bo Pelini acknowledges that he’s feeling some anxiety as the Cornhuskers’ opener against Western Michigan approaches.

Pelini said you don’t know what kind of team you have until you see it play against an opponent. He says he thinks he knows the character of his players, but he won’t know for sure until Saturday.

Pelini’s emotions spilled out Monday after the Huskers turned in a particularly dreadful practice performance. He snapped at reporters, tersely answering 15 questions in two minutes.

Patience, Coach.&#160 Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your Cornhuskers be thus.

Let’s get to the PFW.&#160 It’s Week Zero&#153 in Texas “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) football, and that means my (Fort Worth) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets will start this year pretty much the same way they started last year – by getting their asses handed to them by the Birdville Buffaloes.

I was wrong earlier about one thing – Duke Christian is no longer the Heights coach.&#160 The new scapegoat head coach is a guy by the name of Steve Pate.&#160 Have no idea how he’ll do.&#160 Maybe I should make a perpetual points rule for Heights, such as I do for UBuffalo.

Speaking of which, their first game is tonight, as well, as the University of Texas-El Paso pays the Bulls a visit.&#160 Turner Gill’s troops, surprisingly, are a 3-point favorite, so as long as they don’t lose by more than a touchdown, we’ll count it.

Saturday, the aforementioned Nebraska Cornhuskers, under the guidance of the aforementioned Bo Pelini, make their triumphant return to the PFW by hosting (and, presumably, decimating) Western Michigan.&#160 They’d better&#160 win – else, the faithful will be screaming for Bill Callahan.&#160 Ew.

Also Saturday, Texas Christian University’s Horned Frogs, in the eighth year of Coach Gary Patterson’s reign, travel to Albuquerque to take on the New Mexico Lobos.&#160 TCU’s won their last five season openers, as this blurb from the game guide tells us:

The Frogs have won their last five season openers. It’s the first time since 1970-74 that TCU has had a five-game winning streak in season debuts.

Yeah, well it helps when all your season openers are against the University of Texas-Arlington, which doesn’t even have&#160 a football program anymore.

In pro action, tonight is the C’boys last preseason game, at home vs the Minne-haha ViQueens.&#160 ViQueens head coach Brad Childress has already said his starters aren’t going to play at all, and we’re probably not going to see many of the Cowboys’ starters, either.

Gimme Dallas and 10.&#160

We’re back Sunday or Monday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, for your viewing pleasure, HDD will now extol the virtues of Bucky, now that the games count.

Won’t you, HDD?&#160