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Detroit strongman ayatollah mayor Kwame Kilpatrick lost his job today when he pled guilty on two counts of Clintonism obstruction of justice stemming from a sex scandal.

In exchange for pleading guilty to two counts of obstruction of justice, the Democrat will get four months behind bars, pay the city $1 million in restitution, lose his license to practice law, and cannot run for any elected office for five years.

His resignation will take effect in two weeks and his sentence will be officially imposed on Oct. 28. Under the city charter, any mayor guilty of a felony is automatically expelled from office.

“I always said I would stand strong for the city of Detroit,” the 38-year-old mayor said in his address. “But sometimes standing strong means stepping down.”

This is the same criminal to whom B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi referred as a “great mayor” who would do “astounding things for many years to come” for Detroit.

Hm.&#160 Tony Rezko.&#160 Jackass-i-miah Wright.&#160 Pfather Pfelching Pfuckhead Pfleger.&#160 Now Kwame the Konvict&#153.

As Ann Coulter once said, “Lie down with dogs…wake up with pleas”.

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This week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 kicks off…

MERLIN, KORRIOTH, OZY, K’HADIBAK’H, T-BONE, DR. FEELGOOD:&#160 CORRRRRNNNN…

D.VENOMOUS:&#160

MERLIN, KORRIOTH, OZY, K’HADIBAK’H, T-BONE, DR. FEELGOOD:&#160 …nnneeeee???

D.VENOMOUS:&#160 (sigh)

…kicks off with the NFL’s answer to pro wrestling’s Jim “Warrior Warrior Warrior Warrior Warrior…” Hellwig – that being The Receiver Formerly Known As Chad Johnson&#153

Who, it says here, has officially changed his last name from Johnson to “Ocho Cinco”:

Two years ago, Johnson gave himself the moniker — a reference in Spanish to his No. 85 — and put it on the back of his uniform before a game. Quarterback Carson Palmer ripped it off before the kickoff. After the season, coach Marvin Lewis — who dislikes Johnson’s attention-getting stunts — referred to the receiver as “Ocho Psycho.”

Give that man a see-gar.&#160 You don’t get any more bang-on than that.

“It’s something I don’t think anyone has ever done before,” he told the team’s Web site.

Obviously the jerkweed has never heard of Rod Smart.

Let’s get on with the PFW.&#160 Tonight coach Steve Pate takes my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets down to Azle to play the Hornets.&#160 Azle always plays them tough, but Heights managed to eke out a 28-24 victory there last year.&#160 There is a temptation to have a letdown game after the Birdville victory last week, but it’s hard to imagine Azle giving them trouble after that.&#160 We’ll see.

Tomorrow, Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls travel to Pitt to play Dave Wannstedt’s Panthers.&#160 I fear for the Bulls, as Pitt is still smarting from the embarassment against Bowling Green, so I’m not very hopeful here.&#160 The line is 14, so a 24-point loss (per the UBuffalo rule) will count.

Also tomorrow, the Oklahoma Sooners will be fed another sacrificial lamb, as Cincinnati’s Bearcats pay a visit.&#160 The line’s OU by 21&#189, so I expect Stoopes’ Troops&#153 to snore though a 10-point win.

Nebraska will host the San Jose State Aztecs in Lincoln tomorrow afternoon.&#160 San Jose’s not chopped liver, but Vegas likes Nebraska by 26&#189, and so do I.&#160 Bo Pelini will not let them lose focus after that mini-scare vs. W. Michigan.

Tomorrow evening, Bambi will face Godzilla as the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks of Division I-AA the NCAA Football Championship Subdivision (*cough*) come to Fort Worth to play the Texas Christian Horned Frogs.

Just to give you an idea of what kind of game this is gonna be – Vegas doesn’t even have the game rated, but a line I saw on the Dullest Moaning Snooze had the Tadpoles favored by…uh…45.

Memo to Gary Patterson:&#160 You want to send a message to SMUT here.&#160 Let the Shitland Ponies know what awaits them next week in two weeks.

UPDATE:&#160 Oops.&#160 Forgot about Stanford.

Sunday, the Dallas C’boys open the season in the Dog Pound&#153 at Cleveland.&#160 Based on what I saw of the Browns this preseason (and yes, HDD, I know preseason games don’t mean squat), I shouldn’t really be worried – which is why I won’t have any nails left by gametime.&#160 Dallas has this weird knack for playing down to the level of its competition, and it’d be the perfect excuse to have a letdown against Romeo Crennell’s bunch.

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime…LC John Wardle, are the ‘Skins really that bad?&#160 I have their defense in my other fantasy league…&#160

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