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Denizens, it’s now been 10 long years since I made what is probably the Mistake Of My Life&#153 and married that doublewide fatassed trollop in East Texas.

But this post isn’t for you guys, it’s for her.&#160 Therefore, feel free to bypass this and go straight to the PFW post below.

Now.&#160 Stephanie Dawn Stewart Crager – front & center, bitch.

Happy anniversary, bimbo.&#160 Of sorts, that is.&#160 Lemme tell you a bit about what you gave up when you snatched up my son and high-tailed it to that fortified bunker in Sulphur Springs, TX.

I’m now making somewhere in the neigborhood of $50 large per year, doing what I love doing (and, incidentally, something at which I’m still&#160 better than you.&#160 Not bad for someone whom you thought was “simi-worthless”, huh?)&#160 Had you at least tried&#160 to gut it out at the Dallas ISD – well, you still might not have your job anymore, but then again, maybe you would.

We’d now be in the six-figure income bracket.&#160 We’d be financially free, or at least close to it (we’d probably still be paying on that massive Mastercard of yours, but we’d at least have a fighting chance).

Had we stayed in our little cottage in Forney, it would have most, if not all, the problems with it fixed by now – new A/C, new carpet, new fencing, new weatherstripping, new insulation, an exhaust fan in the attic, and a helluva lot lower electricity bills than what we’d had.

We’d’ve done some remodeling of the kitchen – which is what the guys who bought the house wound up doing (I got to see it – they did a pretty good job).&#160 New paint, a new column on the front porch, maybe some Pergo&#169 in the living room with some sort of rug, maybe even a fireplace when we remodeled.

You’d have gotten a real chance to have that garden of yours, if you’d have wanted it.&#160 Perhaps we could even have done a pool or hot tub out in the back.

Or we could have moved to another house which would have been far nicer.&#160 Four bedrooms, garden tub, two-car garage, a lot closer to everything that meant anything to us and our boy.

And who knows?&#160 Maybe Skip would have wanted a brother or sister to have fun playing with.&#160 That might have been possible, too.

But no.&#160 Not only no, but hell, no.&#160 Because your god was always your ass, and because you weren’t willing to work to make yourself a halfway-decent teacher, you quit your job at DISD, scooped up my boy and left.&#160 You quit&#160 on the marriage, Steffi – just like you’ve quit on pretty much everything else you ever attempted.

That’s why you’re a failure, Your Doublewideness.&#160 You never see things through to completion – at least, not the worthwhile things.&#160 It’s why, save you doing a 180 personally, you’ll never amount to all that much.

In a way, I almost feel sorry for you.&#160 You could’ve been part of something special.&#160 You could’ve been&#160 someone special.

But every time I start to feel like that, I remember what you did to me, and what you did to my boy by denying him a relationship with his father – and I lie down until the feeling goes away.

Eff ewe, Steffie, you pathetic loser.

Denizens, we start this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend by yet again ripping into the Ayatollah Obambi – this time for sticking his jug-eared skank ass where it doesn’t belong – namely, the college football playoff debate.

The president-elect has begun his push even before taking office, taking on the college football oligarchy and demanding that they change in the name of fairness and common sense.

Two concepts about which the Manchurian Muslim&#153 knows less than dick, truth be told.

But you guys knew that already, didn’t you?

Mr. Obama mentioned the issue for the second time in a week Sunday, near the end of a 40-minute interview with CBS News’ “60 Minutes.”

But he went further Sunday than he had before, vowing to use the power of the presidency to push the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA).

“This is important,” Mr. Obama said. “I’m gonna throw my weight around a little bit. I think it’s the right thing to do.”

Y’know, I think I’d really, really love&#160 to see the ball-less wonder try.&#160 I mean, what’s he gonna do?&#160 Sic his Truth Squad&#153&#160 on ’em, hm?&#160 Have ACORN register fake people to demand the NCAA do something?&#160 Have Jackass-i-miah Wrong call them the NC-of-KKK-AA?

Boggles the mind, it does.

“I think any sensible person would say that if you’ve got a bunch of teams who play throughout the season and many of them have one loss or two losses [and] there’s no clear decisive winner, that we should be creating a playoff system,” Mr. Obama said.

Here’s a news flash for the Ayatollah:&#160 Sensible&#160 people know that, if you have two losses, you’re likely not the best college football team in America (last year’s LSU team notwithstanding).

Then again, sensible&#160 people know you’re nothing but an empty suit with a forked tongue, anyway.&#160 One might as well ask the First Cupid Stunt&#153 what she&#160 thinks of all this, since she has all the testicles in the family anyway.

“Eight teams. That would be three rounds, to determine a national champion. It would add three extra weeks to the season. You could trim back on the regular season. I don’t know any serious fan of college football who has disagreed with me on this.”

Allow me to introduce myself, you smarmy little pisspot pussy.&#160 I am Darth Venomous, ruler of this particular Realm&#153, and not only do I disagree, I think you’re a stupid little fuck.

Just for shits & giggles, let’s assume – dangerous, yes, I know – an eight-team “playoff”.&#160 I’ve asked the entire civilized, intelligent world this – but now it’s your turn:

How are you going to determine those eight teams and their playoff seedings, dumbass?????

That kinda takes us right back to…oh, I dunno…RANKING THE FRIGGIN’ TEAMS?!?!?!&#160 Hello?!&#160 Bueller???

Gawd.&#160 What.&#160 A.&#160 Dumb.&#160 Fuck.

On to the PFW.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are once again one-and-done…but whereas I usually have a backup team in place, this year I just don’t give enough of a shit to do that.&#160 So we’re down to five teams.

Tonight, Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls travel to Bowling Green State University to play the Falcons in football.&#160 BG’s actually pretty good, but they’re only a four-point favorite at home, so normally the SpatulaLine&#153 would be 18.

But the UBuffs have played sufficiently well this year that I think it’s time to do away with the SpatulaLine&#153.&#160 Therefore, the Bulls need to win straight-up for it to count.&#160 (We’d call this “playing without a net”, were anyone outside this house to give more than one micron of a shit about the SpatulaLine&#153.&#160 )

Saturday, 15th-ranked Texas Christian will play its final home game of the year before finding out which minor bowl wants them as a guest.&#160 Thanks again, Ross Evans.

Saturday, the opponent is Air Force – and while AF isn’t chopped liver, TCU should win this one.

Saturday night is the latest Game Of The Century&#153, as Bob Stoopes’ fifth-ranked Oklahoma Sooners host the number two team in the nation, that being the Texas Tech Red Raiders.&#160 Normally this wouldn’t be close, but: 1) Tech isn’t really the road juggernaut, and 2) OU is 60-2 at home during the Stoopes era.

It’ll be close.

Sunday, the Dallas C’boys, walking with a touch more swagger than recently, will host the San Transexual Fairy-Whiners San Francisco 49ers.

There is a newfound respect for the Niners, primarily because they promoted Mike Singletary to be their head coach, and This Fine Blog&#153 respects the hell out of Mike Singletary.&#160 The Niners will play hard, even if they don’t play well, and Dallas would be well-advised to take much heed, lest this turn into another St. Louis debacle.

Got it, Coach Cupcake?!?!&#160

UPDATE:&#160 Oh, by the way – Nebraska’s off this week.

We’re back Monday with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, Vegas thinks so little of Bucky-Cal Poly that they don’t even have it on their board, so my question for HDD is:&#160 Is this a trap game?&#160