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This brief edition of the Perfect Football Weekend starts by noting that Donna McCrabbs, The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever&#153, got his ass benched in a loss to the Baltimore Ravens last Sunday.

Breaks our ever-lovin’ heart, it does.&#160

Now, it says here that Donna will start tonight against the Arizona Cardinals, but this humble scribe (*cough*) says that the writing’s on the wall for Fat-Assed Wilma’s Campbell Chunky Soup&#169-eating baby boy.

Memo to backup Kevin Kolb:&#160 Start warming up now.

On to the PFW.&#160 TCU’s done until the bowl, but I still have four teams in the hunt.

As you know, it’s the annual Thanksgiving Day game in Dallas today.&#160 This year, the Seahags of Seattle and their excuse-for-a- running back, Jewels Jones, come a-callin’ to Texas Stadium in that venue’s final-ever Turkey Day classic.&#160 Seattle’s 2-10, so normally I wouldn’t worry about this one – but they have Matt Hasselbeck, and Dallas…well…Dallas has that secondary.

Sigh.

My dessert tomorrow will be my fingernails.

Friday, Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls have what I think is their&#160 last game until bowl season when they host Kent State.&#160 I don’t think we’d need the SpatulaLine&#153, even if we still had it – I think the Bulls win this with relative ease.

Also Friday, Bo Pelini’s Nebraska Cornhuskers are an 18-point favorite at home against the woeful Colorado Buffaloes.&#160 This’ll be closer than UBuff-Kent State, but as long as Joey Ganz can hit the broad side of a barn, NU shouldn’t have too much trouble.

Saturday is Bedlam Day&#153 in the state of Oklahoma, as the third-ranked Sooners pay a visit to Sweetwater to take on the 11th-ranked Oklahoma State Cowboys.

Now, in theory, since Texas Tech destroyed Okie State, then in turn got demolished by OU, this shouldn’t be close.&#160 But Vegas has the Sooners only as a seven-point road favorite, so let’s at least see the first half before making any predictions.&#160 I think OU will win, to be sure, but I’m not gonna bet the farm, if you know what I mean.

Assuming our heads aren’t still overdosing on L-tryptophan from all the turkey, we might have the recap for you Sunday.&#160 Then again, as you already know, this scribe’s on vacation, so I’ll get to it when I bloody well feel like it.&#160

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(Yeah, it’s a rerun of a rerun.&#160 Of a rerun.&#160 Bite Sue me, mkay?&#160 I’m busy cooking. )

I first penned (penned?) this screed (g) on 11/17/01.&#160 I thought it appropriate, it being Thanksgiving and all, to jot down a list of those things for which I was thankful.&#160 This year, the tradition continues, below the fold, again with only a few minor tweaks:

First of all, let me once again apologize for not blogging as much as I wish I could.&#160 Ideally, I’d be cranking out two or three posts a day.&#160 There’s certainly that much going on in the world, and it tears at my gut to be missing the opportunities to write about these things.&#160 Pains me even more to think that you, the Denizens, are missing out on my great wisdom.&#160

The fact is that I simply have not had time to do one of the things that I enjoy more than I ever thought I would – writing.&#160 I never for a moment, sitting in my first ever English Composition college class twenty-five years ago, taught by a guy I believed to be an idiot, thought that I would ever come to the point that I actually got a kick out of slapping thoughts on page.

Amazing how things change.

But, I digress.&#160 There’s not been enough time.&#160 There’s never&#160 been enough time, but that’s beside the point.&#160 I’ve been swamped at work, and that’s when I’m not trying to renew a certification.&#160 This is taking me away from the chores I need to be doing – keeping the house clean, doing the laundry in a timely fashion, cleaning the kitchen, picking up dog crap off the carpet, those sorts of things.&#160 And when I do finally get around to those things, they keep me from doing stuff I like to do – like surfing the Web and writing these columns.

Which brings me around to the topic at hand.&#160 Thanksgiving’s today, and it’s a good time to kick back and tick off the things for which your obdt.&#160 svt.&#160 (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) is thankful:

God.&#160 The God of the Bible.&#160 The God of Abraham, Issac, Jacob, David and Solomon.&#160 That&#160 God.&#160 Not Allah, not Muhammad, not Cthulu, not crystals and/or chakras and/or trees.&#160 God.

His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the work He performed on the cross that allowed me to receive His salvation.&#160 (An aside:&#160 Yeah, in case anyone didn’t know – I’m a Christian.&#160 Not anywhere close to being the best example thereof, to be sure, but I’m still being worked on, and you’re just gonna have to be patient.)

Being an American, and free to worship as I choose.&#160 For now, given whom the morons of this country just put into office.

My current home – a three-story, one-point-five-bedroom jobber I share with a chow/terrier and a huge lump of muscle & energy in the shape of a collie/sheltie mix.&#160 Not the cozy cottage in Forney, but at least I have an office again from which to pen (pen?) these screeds.

My son – Stephen Geoffrey “Skip” Crager, Jr.&#160 (although his doublewide-assed mother insists on calling him “Geoffrey”).&#160 Even though I haven’t seen you in five years, Skip, I still love you.&#160 Always remember that.

Friends & family, some more than others.&#160 Even the ones who are diametrically opposed to me in their beliefs.

Employment.&#160 Specifically, mine as a desktop technician, where I get to play with computers all day long – in effect, getting paid to practice my hobby.

(Thankfully, I’ve had a full-time gig since 2006, for a company known to me and only to me – since I know pussies like Cianderella Tierney, who bitched long and loud about me being a NetKKKop before having his ass exposed as a lying skank that doesn’t work at EDS, would love to find out where I work and try to get me fired…)

Okay, where was I…?

MP3s.&#160 The ability to take all my all-time favorite songs, regardless of format, and transfer them to something I can listen to in my car.&#160 Fuck you,&#160 Hilary Rosen.

Turkey.&#160 Lots of it, preferably drumsticks.

Leftovers.&#160 Turkey sammiches with lots of mustard.&#160 YEAH!

(Well, hold the bread on that.&#160 I have got to-got to-got to start paying more attention to Atkins.)

An American President who, though he is still not completely trustworthy in my eye, is at least giving the impression that he is, at least, trying – which is a damn sight better than what we could have had, hm?&#160 And at least this guy understands that the Presidency isn’t just one big frat party.&#160 (This will be crossed out for at least the next four years.)

The military which he commands.&#160 Peepz, these men & women do a helluva job protecting you and yours and the freedoms you enjoy, and they do it for pretty much next to nothing.&#160 Next time you see one, take a moment to say, “Thank you”.&#160 (Another aside:&#160 When I first posted this, I left out one very important group of guys:&#160 the Coast Guard.&#160 Unconscionable, since one of my readers served in that very branch.&#160 Mr. Slagle, my apologies – and my thanks.)

My car:&#160 A 2007 Chevy Cobalt.&#160 Quick, cozy, and twice the gas mileage of my old truck.&#160 In this day and age, that’s important.&#160 For $10 more per month, I get all that, plus a 5/50 warranty.&#160 Good stuff, that.

A seafood restaurant chain here locally by the name of “Ole Whiskers”.&#160 Catfish, chicken, ribs, stuffed crab, onion rings, and a host of other great stuff.&#160 Catfish topped with Tabasco&#169 sauce has become a staple.

My current box – a Pentium 2.66-GHz with 2 gigs (yeah – gigs) of DDR RAM.&#160 Two 21″ monitors so that I don’t have to squint anymore when I write these things.&#160 (Well, not much, anyway – at 1280×1024, things are still awfully small.)

The aforementioned crap-on-the-carpet dogs – she’s still a precious little lapdog, and she captures the heart of anyone that meets her.&#160 The aforementioned collie mix – a whirling dervish that tears everything up, but he has an infectious personality.&#160 Even my brother’s little min-pin, Mindy – one of the most affectionate dogs you’ll ever see.

Ham.&#160 Not as much as a turkey drumstick, but leftover ham does go good with eggs.

Any college football team that severely thrashes the Texas A&M Aggies.&#160 (Not anymore.&#160 Now that they’re rid of Dennis “The Mercenary” Franchione, and they’re getting their heads handed them on a weekly basis, it’s probably more appropos to pity them.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Nebraska.&#160 (Not since they hired Bo Pelini, and hopefully never again.)

Any college football team that severely thrashes Miami.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Arkansas.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Texas.&#160 (Unless it’s Arkansas.)

TCU’s Horned Frogs.&#160 Good job this year, Gary Patterson.&#160 Well, except for losing to Utah ’cause you didn’t have the brains not to trust your kicker, but you did&#160 beat SMUT this year, so all is forgiven.&#160 Again.

Which reminds me:&#160 Any college football team that severely thrashes SMUT.

Any pro football team that kicks the crap out of Donna McNabb and the Philthydelphia Beagles – something the Cowboys will do this year in Dallas Philly (having already done it in Dallas.&#160 Pity McNabb won’t be around to suffer it, assuming he stays benched. (snicker)

Tony Romo.&#160 There’s the future of the Cowboys, Denizens.

Jerry Jones – for signing that extension for Romo. (grin)

Southern Baptist churches that aren’t afraid to call themselves “Baptist”. (Not since they climbed into bed with the enviro-nutjob movement.&#160 Now it’s any church that unashamedly preaches the Gospel and refuses to compromise with its enemies.

An occasional road trip – maybe to go fishing, or even if it’s work-related.&#160 I love staying in hotels where I can crank up the AC at night, and not have to worry about the electric bill (grin).

Microsoft.&#160 No, all you morons at the federal judiciary – Bill Gates does not run a monopoly, and you damned well know it.&#160 What he does do is run an extremely successful company, one that you bastards tried to shake down for $$$$, and failed.&#160 It’s not a secret that the tech sector crashed simultaneously with Janet El Reño’s baseless attack against Microsoft.

Spanish-language television channels.&#160 You will not find a better-looking collection of major babes anywhere on Planet Earth.&#160 And they don’t mind letting people know that they’re women either, dammit.&#160 Take that, NOW.&#160 🙂

Mashed potatoes.&#160 With a ton of gravy.&#160 (Atkins be damned on this one.&#160 (grin))

Ranch-style beans™.

Sweet tea – even though, being a Type II diabetic, I can no longer drink the stuff (make mine Sweet ‘n Low, 3 packets per 40 ounces, please).

Hooters’ hot wings.&#160 Scenery’s not bad, either.&#160

Dueling-piano bars.&#160 Picture two baby-grands.&#160 Picture two players with crass senses of humor.&#160 Picture some of the raunchiest lyrics ever conceived – sometimes on the fly.&#160 Picture yourself laughing your ass off.&#160 Try it sometime.

Rush Limbaugh.&#160 Sean Hannity.&#160 Glenn Beck.&#160 Michael Savage.&#160 Michael Reagan – and, in case I’ve not mentioned it before…his dad, too.

Ann Coulter.&#160 Michelle Malkin.&#160 Laura Ingraham.

The Blogosphere&#153.&#160 Specifically, Misha and Alan Henderson – for getting me into this blogging thing.

My new hairstylist.&#160 In all my lifetime, I’ve only found three people who could fully understand what I wanted done to my hair, and do it right in a minimum of time:&#160 one retired about 15 years ago.&#160 This one’s just as good as her predecessor – and she’s a major babe, too.&#160 (grin)

Broadband.&#160 Forney didn’t get it on a widespread basis – but I have Verizon FIOS now, and I rock yet again. (grin)

And finally (though this list is by no means complete) – you Denizens who keep coming back to the site in hopes that I’ve updated it.&#160 Without you guys, why am I doing this?&#160 Thanks very much for being here.

And Happy Thanksgiving.&#160 Remember from Whom the blessings come…

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It’s that there time again, Denizens.

Those of you who’ve been with me all these years know by now what this means:

Beginning today, other than posts which have already been scheduled, you may or may not see anything come from this keyboard, because I am freakin’ ON VACATION, BABY!!!

May go fishing, may not.&#160 Still have to see.&#160 Watch this space.

ThatIsAll&#153.

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