Denizens, one thing that pisses the snot outta me about libtards – indeed, one thing that damn near puts an RCOB™ around all our eyes is the snot-nosed, elitist notion that, not only are they more intelligent than you, more feeling and caring than you, more thenthitive sensitive  than you – they also believe that they’re more sophisticate, more nuanced – yea, better  than you.  When in fact, of course, all they really are is far & away more pussified and estrogenatified  (a little Shrubya lingo, there) than we on the right ever thought about being.
It is with that in mind that the aforementioned RCOB™ falls over my eyes when I read a column appearing in the political department of a site called 411mania.com.
411mania.com, you may be interested in knowing, is a site dedicated to writing about different & myriad things – among them, politics, music, entertainment gossip, professional wrestling, and posting the occasional pictures of Kim Kardashian’s ample ass.  Which is to say, the only halfway-decent pieces of shit to come out of this particular website are the wrestling writing and the pictures of Kim Kardashian’s ample ass.
Everything else is just abject pussified bullshit.  Such as this column written by a douchebag named “Enrique” who maintains that, yes, waterboarding is torture and anyone who doesn’t agree simply isn’t worthy of being heard.
As the debate over waterboarding-as-torture has unfolded over the last few years, several brave souls/attention whores have voluntarily subjected themselves to the procedure, including the likes of writer/bon vivant Christopher Hitchens and Fox News reporter Steve Harrigan.
Harrigan I don’t know – not that I’d care about him if I did  know him.
Hitchens, though, I’d personally plant in a foxhole in Afghanistan for 48 hours, then bring him up just to see to whom he was praying.  Just for shits & giggles, you understand.
On Friday, Matthew “Mancow” Muller became the latest willing waterboard victim during a segment on his popular radio program.
Ex-squeeze me?  Baking powder?  There’s a radio program hosted by someone named Mancow?
Actually, I tend to like what Guest #1613 had to say in comments about that:
since when does mancow have a popular radio show? Doesn’t it actually have to be played in major markets to be popular?
Preach it, brother.
After only a few seconds and less than a gallon of water, the shivering rightwing talker had to admit waterboarding is “absolutely torture.”
Yeah, well – when he becomes a bona fide  expert on what constitutes “torture” and what doesn’t, maybe he might gain a little street cred.
For now, though, it’s gonna take more than the word of someone who goes by the name “Mancow” to convince me that what they were doing to Khalid Sheikh Mohammad constituted “torture”.
C’mon, “Enrique”.  I’ll wait.
And excuse me for asking, but since when was “Mancow” ever considered a conservative?  We got anything to back that up?
Two points: First, according to publicly available information, no more than three alleged terrorists in U.S. custody have been waterboarded, meaning that several more people have waterboarded themselves recreationally
And of course, we won’t talk about the scores of military personnel who undergo this type of treatment as part of their combat training.  I guess they don’t count, you see.
Certainly they don’t to the Pussified Left™.
than were waterboarded as part of the so-called Global War on Terror.
Excuse me, “Enrique”?  “So-called” Global War on Terror?  Have you not been paying attention during the last eight years or so?  Or do you supposed we can just make nicey-nice to those poor, old misunderstood ragheads Arabs and see – just see  what it is they want, hm?
Second, any suggestion that waterboarding isn’t torture simply isn’t serious.
What, “Enrique”, because you  say so?.  The Ultamate Moral Authority™ on all our lives?  He Who Can Tell Us What To Think Or Believe At Will™?  You don’t want to call us “serious” because we happen to think you’re a dumb fuck when it comes to the definition of “torture”?
Would you like to “seriously” try saying that to a military man’s face, for example?  See how “serious” he or she thinks it really it?
Hell, I think I’d pay real money  to see that.
Although waterboarding doesn’t appear to cause lasting physical damage, it obviously falls under any reasonable person’s definition of torture.
Because, of course, it doesn’t cause lasting physical damage.  Unlike beheading, connecting an auto battery to the nipples, lashes across the back with a whip/cane/what have you, which our pussy “Enrique” here apparently doesn’t  consider “torture”.
Conservatives might conceivably be able to argue that such low-impact torture should be legal in certain circumstances (even if those circumstances are extraordinarily unlikely to ever occur)
You’re damned right we can make that argument, dumbass.  Just ask the aforementioned Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who gave up information after undergoing waterboarding that prevented potentially several thousand Americans from being hurt or killed.
Oh, but you can’t make the case for extended interrogation techniques.  Doesn’t work, after all. 
But anyone who claims waterboarding is not torture – such as Liz Cheney did on Good Morning America – should be politely dismissed from the realm of civil discourse.
And any limp-wristed, pansy-assed douchebag pussy named “Enrique” who seriously thinks that should be taken out back and had the shit beaten out of him for wanting to deny us our right to express our opinion.
Get the motherfucker within five feet of me and I’ll be happy to volunteer.
Dumbshit little fucknozzle.