[SCENE:  Deep space.  In the abyss, somewhere in the vicinity of the Orion Sector, hangs ISS Titanic, dead in space.  Life support is intact, but precious little else is functioning.  The nacelles of the mighty dreadnaught do not even so much as glow, the engines having suffered catastrophic failure two days out of Realm™ spacedock.
Cut to the interior.  In the cavernous Engineering section, the wizard Merlin, several jawas, a Klingon or two and a few Bynars are writhing in extreme pain, the crackling energy of a host of purple-white lightning bolts washing over them.
Standing about three feet away, the source of these lightning bolts, Lord Darth Venomous, hovers over them all, a severely agitated countenance on his visage.]
VENOMOUS:  ‘Ready for all modes of flight’, eh, you fucking p’tahk’mey?????  I’ll show you what’s ‘ready for all modes of flight’!!!!!
[His anger partially spent, Venomous ceases the lightning bolts.  He turns to tactical officer K’hadibak’h, standing a few feet to one side.  Anger is still very present on His Rudeness’ face.]1
VENOMOUS:  K’ha, have them all join Captain Korrioth in the Agony Booth™. The full duration!
K’HADIBAK’H:  (nodding vigourously) Yes, m’lord!
—
Denizens, Time Warner Cable has failed me…and I only wish I could say it was for the last time. (sigh)
Main communications are down until at least tomorrow.  Any rants will have to be made from the laptop in the car.
That’s all.  Carry on.