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Denizens, we’ll start this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 by talking about a couple of big free-agent signings.

First off, as you all know, Widdle Mikey “Dog Fight Club” Vick signed last week with the Phuckadelphia Beagles.

Oh, my.&#160 Did I really say that out loud?&#160

Now, ’tis true that Vickie is one hellacious athletic talent.&#160 And it’s no secret that The World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback In The History Of Ever, Ever&#153, Donna McCrabbs, is entrenched as the quarterback in Philthy.&#160 Therefore, it is safe to assume that Vickie will get a lot of playing time at back or receiver (or maybe both) – and the Beagles will be that much more dangerous offensively because of it.

However, as the C’boys proved for the last three years, signing an immense talent possessing a certain notoriety doesn’t always bode well for the signing team.&#160 (Widdle Terri Owens, call your office.)&#160 If Vickie isn’t free of the character flaws he possesses, he could turn out to be a locker-room cancer, and bring the Beagles down from within.

Which would please me no end.

As for the other&#160 free-agent signing…raise your hand if you didn’t see this coming.

(crickets)

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

For the Uninitiated&#153, Brett Favre was forced out of retired from the Green Bay Packers at the end of the 2007 season, then – after a major assload of “will he or won’t he” drama – came back and played one semi-forgettable season with the New York J-E-T-S-JetsJetsJets!!!, then retired again.

Or so we thought.

For the last six months or so, Favre has been teasing us with more “will he or won’t he”.&#160 He was talking with the ViQueens – no, he wasn’t&#160 talking with ’em.&#160 He was at the Minne-haha facility to get a physical – no, he wasn’t.&#160 He was definitely coming back – well, maybe not.&#160 Until this past week, when he threw all pretense to the wind and signed with the ViQueens.&#160 Which just goes to show – Brett Favre is an attention whore who can’t stand to be out of the spotlight.

As for how Minne-haha will do this year – Favre may win two or three games for them.&#160 But he’ll lose twice that many, and the ViQueens will realize that they’ve gotten hosed again.

On to the PFW.&#160 It sucks not having NFL Network any longer, since I can’t see as many games as I’d like.&#160 But if I catch any on ESPN or so, I’ll chronicle them here.

In the meantime, the C’boys cut the football ribbon on their new billion-dollar Jones Mahal when the Tennessee Titans come calling.&#160 As was the case last week, the starters will play about a quarter or so, then the Titans’ backups will demolish ours, since Jerrah Jones (aka Owner Jethro – thanks again, Gil LeBreton of the Fort Worth Startlegram) still can’t draft worth a shit.

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime…is there any news from Buckyville, HDD?

Riddle me this, Batman:&#160 When is a black guy, not&#160 a black guy?

Why, when he’s legally open-carrying a gun & a rifle at one of Bambi’s health-care townhalls circle-jerks, of course.

On Tuesday, MSNBC’s Contessa Brewer fretted over health care reform protesters legally carrying guns: “A man at a pro-health care reform rally…wore a semiautomatic assault rifle on his shoulder and a pistol on his hip….there are questions about whether this has racial overtones….white people showing up with guns.” Brewer failed to mention the man she described was black.

[…]

CONTESSA BREWER: Yeah, we are closely following here, Dylan, town halls and other events around the country today to see who shows up and what they bring with them. More than 20 town halls scheduled from east-to-west, Virginia to Washington state. Yesterday, as President Obama addressed the Veterans of Foreign Wars in Phoenix. A man at a pro-health care reform rally just outside, wore a semiautomatic assault rifle on his shoulder and a pistol on his hip. The Associated Press reports about a dozen people in all at that event were visible carrying firearms. And if the scene looks familiar, that’s because it should, last week a guy stood outside Obama’s health care town hall in Portsmouth, New Hampshire with a gun strapped to his leg and police arrested a 62-year-old before that New Hampshire event for carrying unlicensed loaded gun. And the reason we’re talking about this, a lot of talk here, Dylan, because people feel like, yes, there are Second Amendment rights for sure but also there are questions about whether this has racial overtones. I mean, here you have a man of color in the presidency and white people showing up with guns strapped to their waists or to their legs. (Emphasis added.&#160 -DV)

Not to put too fine a point on it, here are a couple pictures of the guy:

Yeah, that’s some pasty-faced racist cracka, alright.&#160

And (P)MSNBC wonders why it’s hemorraging viewers.

Conjured up after reading this GFW hit-piece:

OSUNSAMI: There is one way for restaurants to get around the law and keep the guns out. They can post a sign like this one, saying no. Restaurant and bar owners worry that the signs alone aren’t enough, and that they’ll have to enforce them and start checking their customers for guns at the door.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN: A family with children coming in wants to know has there been an incident here in this restaurant, is this restaurant safe for me to come into?

OSUNSAMI: The bar owners are now suing the state to repeal the law.

RAYBURN: We want to maintain ourselves as Music City, USA, not become Dodge City, USA.

The whole point of concealed-carry is this:&#160 you don’t know I have a gun on my person.&#160 And if you don’t know I have it, you’re not likely to freak out about it.

And you won’t&#160 know I have it…unless I happen to need it.

And I won’t need&#160 it…unless some ne’er-do-well goblin perp happens to draw down on me – or you – or your family – first.

In which case…you may be pretty damned fuckin’ glad I have it.

Glad we could clear that up.&#160 Any questions?

(Hat tip to commenter “tiredofit08” over at Michelle’s site.)

I like this:

American liberals, leftists, social progressives,socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly,this relationship has run its course.Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that,it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are,however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them)…

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheehan, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And we won’t have to press 1 for English.

We’ll take the lower 48, Alaska (drill, baby, drill), and Hawaii.

They can have Siberia.&#160

Multiple sources have started reporting that Bob Novak, conservative syndicated columnist has passed away at his home at the age of 78.

You can read more here, here, or here.

Prayers go out to his wife and family.

As our cameras fade in from back, we see the scene is the Southern Command Battlestaff War Room.

Supreme General Rayegun and his XO are clearly discussing something of high level importance and it appears that it also is something that has a shortish deadline that is rapidly approaching. As we zoom in closer, the XO, Major Picardy is speaking:

[XO]: Are you sure about this General? You would be going out in public with relatively little visible protection. Has the Generalette agreed with this?

[SG Rayegun]: Yes XO, I’m very certain about this and it was the Generalette’s idea to do this in the first place!

[XO]: Understood sir. What are your orders?

[SG Rayegun]: Get Venomous on the horn, he’ll want in on this and anyways it’s in his sector.

[XO]: Yessir. I will advise once he is on the comm.

Our cameras fade to black again.

So what is this mysterious semi-covert operation being planned? Why would the General need Darth Venomous’ assistance on this? And what could be going on in Darth’s own backyard that he hasn’t said anything about?

Stay tuned next week, as we learn more about the mysterious meeting.

In case you missed it, the Al-Obambi email address “flag@whitehouse.gov”…..that email folks can snitch..errr brown nos….errr….report false information concerning The Great Messiah’s Healthcare plan propagated by non-believers…..right-wing wackos un-American citizens…..has been shutdown. As reported earlier today on the Drudge Report and shortly thereafter by Fox here, or here, it’s clear that Al-Obambi’s regime (or at least somebody with their head OUTSIDE their arse) got a wakeup call from somewhere that spelled it out in small, short, monosyllabic words that their “fishing” trip was just a wee bit UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

The Generalette had a good idea. Shoulda sent in an email stating that Al-Obambi and his Healthcare “czar”, and even Hitlary have been passing “fishy” information for YEARS now. Why don’t they quite wasting time (and our tax dollars) on a clearly unconstitutional information grab and get out of the way and let the real people get the job done!

That’s my Generalette!!! She’s got the right idea.

Even by first-game standards, it was brutal.

Dallas 10, at Freakland 31

Arizona 10, at Pittsburgh 20

The Steelers’ defense looks even more fearsome than it was last year.&#160 Uh, oh.&#160 (And yes, I’m only counting the first-stringers against the Cards’ starters.)

…

You can generally tell what kind of night it’s going to be for Our Heroes&#153 by looking at the first offensive series.

So when Isaiah Stanback brings the ball out, gets tripped at the seven, then the C’boys lose&#160 two yards on the ensuing three plays, that sinking feeling sets in.

Sure enough.

Some notes I scribbled during the game:

* Pray for the health of the C’boy starters.&#160 The backups are shit&#160 and I do mean all&#160 the fuckin’ backups.&#160 They made the Freakland Raiders’ backups look like the 2007 Patriots.

* Say goodbye to Courtney Brown, Cory Proctor, Willie Reid and Patricia Watkins, especially Proctor & Reid.&#160 Proctor blew a snap that cost Dallas at least three, and likely seven.&#160 Reid muffed a punt that led to yet another Freakland touchdown.&#160 Brown is even worse at coverage than Jacques “Blackened Cajun Toast” Reeves; Watkins isn’t any better, getting burned for yet another score.

* The starters recovered from an extremely inauspicious start to mount a very nice touchdown drive (pass from Romo to Witten, which should irritate Widdle Terri Owens no end).

* Gerald Sensabaugh made up for an extremely questionable pass interference call with a jarring hit on a Freakland receiver, causing said receiver to drop a sure catch.

* It’s only one game, but I’m inclined to think David Buehler is a better kicker than Nick Folk.&#160 Guy’s got a howitzer for a leg, and already has one more touchback this year than Folk had all last year.

* Jon Kitna’s got a better arm than Brad Johnson, but it won’t mean shit if he throws picks like Johnson did.

A very forgettable game.&#160 This had best not be a harbinger of things to come, if Coach Stay-Puf wants to be back next year.

The PFW will return Friday, when I’ll be fighting through Hell&#153 and traffic (but I repeat myself) just to get home to watch the game.

A couple of key Donktards are stating that the so-called “public option” (i.e. the private-insurance killing clause in this health-care bill debacle) is now dead.

“Look, the fact of the matter is there are not the votes in the U.S. Senate for the public option, there never have been,” [NDakota Donk senator Kent] Conrad said in an interview on “Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace.”

“So to continue to chase that rabbit is, I think, a wasted effort,” Conrad said.

His comments followed Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius’s remark that a public option is “not the essential element” to ensure competition in the health insurance market. Sebelius made the remark on CNN’s “State of the Union.”

Now, nothing’s set in stone until the final vote, of course; the leftards could turn on a dime and re-insert this travesty.&#160 But it is&#160 encouraging.

And, as it’s another nail in the coffin of the political career of one B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi (seeing as he seems to have staked his entire regime on this one issue), we can’t help but be exceedingly pleased.

“Getcha popcorn ready”, as Widdle Terri Owens has been wont to say.

Item:&#160 Beck, on Fox & Friends, called the Ayatollah Obambi a “racist” who had a “hatred for white people”.&#160 Given that he did&#160 call his granny a “typical white woman”, that’s not much of a stretch.

Item:&#160 A gaggle of black racketeers – yeah, I said it, candidates ripe for RICO, look it up – called ColorOfChange.org, launched a boycott of Beck’s show and started extortion procedures agasint against {the Spill Chunker is dead again Darth — SG Rayegun} certain companies who advertised thereupon.&#160 The other day, they were crowing that they had brought companies like ConAgra, Radio Shack and Proctor & Gamble to their collective knees.

OAKLAND, Calif.—ColorOfChange.org this week received confirmation from four more companies – ConAgra (maker of Healthy Choice products), Roche, Sanofi-Aventis, and RadioShack – pledging to pull their ads from Fox News Channel’s Glenn Beck show. These new defections come on the heels of reports that Men’s Wearhouse, State Farm and Sargento also pulled their ads in recent days. They join LexisNexis-owned Lawyers.com, Procter & Gamble, Progressive Insurance, SC Johnson and GEICO, who all pulled their ads from Glenn Beck after the news host called President Obama a “racist” who “has a deep-seated hatred for white people,” on “Fox and Friends.”

Memo to the racketeering bastards:&#160 Two can play that game, motherfuckers. I’ve already written both MagicJack (the folks who were connected with Radio Crack) and ConAgra that I would not, or have stopped considering, purchasing their products.

And while it’s a free country and you’re at liberty to purchase what you want – I encourage you to likewise boycott.

Who knows? If enough of us tell enough of these businesses that we outnumber the racketeers at ColorOfChange.org, we could make a difference.

Oh, yes he did:&#160 Avowed Communist socialist independent Bernie “Karl” Sanders (Marxist-VT) is squeaming that…

…are you sitting down?

…there aren’t “progressive” TV or radio networks to combat Fox News.

Let’s get this out of the way before we continue.

All together now:&#160

“I’ll tell you what else we need to do,” Sanders said. “We need to understand that it is very, very hard for the president or anybody else to take on not just the Republican Party, that’s the easy part – to take on all of right-wing talk radio, which covers 90 percent of talk show hosts, a whole Fox network which is nothing more than an arm of the Republican Party and the Democrats got to think long term. Why is there not a progressive television network?

Bernie-boy doesn’t get out much, does he?

Bernie, m’boy, ever heard of (deep breath) ABCNBCCBSMSNBCCNNHeadlineNewsPBS…

Why aren’t we supporting good and effective personalities on radio as well and building up a network there so that we can that kind of political consciousness-raising that the Republicans, in fact, are doing so well right now.”

(another deep breath) …ABCRadioCBSRadioNBCRadioAirScaremericaNPRCNN?

No?

Gee, why am I not surprised?

“If it is harder to rile people with hope than it is to rile them with fear, it may be hard to go sort of base versus base, activist versus activist, honestly shouting person versus shouting person at some of these events and in terms of competition for the overall narrative around health care,” Maddow said. “Do you think that people who are saying, who are promoting these myths – that the president does want to kill old people, all these crazy things about health care reform – do you think they should just be ignored? Is it worth debunking them or mocking them?”

Gee, Madcow, honey – maybe it’s that it’s a little more believable of Demoscum than it was when you bastards were accusing Republicans wanting to poison the air, dirty the water and throw Grandma down the stairs, y’think?

“Oh no, I think what you are doing and all of us have to do – we have to call a lie a lie and they lie a whole lot of times,” Sanders said. “And we have to hold the Republican Party and the officials who support these lies accountable. But that’s not enough. What we need to do is do what Obama did during is very brilliant campaign, as that is rally tens of millions of people to stand up and say that health care is the civil rights issue of the moment, that is not acceptable that a million people a year, this year are going to go bankrupt because of medically related costs. We need to do grassroots organizing.”

Smell the astroturf!

Fucking asshats.

Interesting read. Then again we all know that Al-Obambi and his Obamaniks with the Brown Shirts are doing this and MUCH MORE!

White House Reviews Names of Recipients of Unsolicited E-Mail on Health Care – Political News – FOXNews.com

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Just received a notice from the US House Rep. for the Southern HQ that caused a major RCOB. Almost lost enough blood that I nearly had to call the medics in to the Executive Suite. Now I just have this annoying throbbing behind my eyes and temples.

Anyway, what set off this episode. Nothing other than Rep. Culberson reporting that the Obamanation and the Bidenites there in the District of Crackheads have set a new world record for the month of July.

What is it you ask that set this record?

Why SPENDING of course.

“Spend, spend, spend, and spend some more….we’ll just get ol’ Gaitner to print more cash.” was apparently the theme for Al-Obambi and Co. They SPENT $332 BILLION (yes, that is billion with a “B”) on OUR tax dollars during the 31 days of July. That represents the most EVUH spent by ANY administration during a one month period since the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

And on a lighter note, FOX News is report that the Breck Boy is likely to have some ‘splainin’ to do. This could get interesting.

Realm&#153 Intelligence is going to answer for this.

I’d figured that the C’boys would have their first preseason game in Oakland Saturday night against DA RAIIIIIII-DUHHHHS&#153.

Imagine my shock when I found out it’s tonight.

So we get the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 cranked up a little early.&#160 Again.&#160 For the 4821st time too damned many.

Until then, I have a Klingon spy I have to go track down.

Anyway, it’ll be cameos for everyone tonight at the old Alemeda County Coliseum.&#160 Terrence Newman isn’t likely to play because he’s (surprise, surprise) tweaked a hammy.&#160 The much-ballyhooed passing combo of Tony Romo-Roy Williams will get a quick looksee, then give way to Jon “10 Wins Guaranteed” Kitna and a cast of dozens.

It’ll be boring as hell – but it’ll be live football, and that’s the way this scribe loves it.

Haven’t found any other broadcast games yet, but will report on ’em if I do, of course.&#160 It’s a PFW, after all.&#160

All is well and kicking down here at Southern HQ. Just been extremely busy with post-wedding/post-honeymoon/post move-in chores. I do have some things that need to be posted, but every time I have something it seems that Darth has already gotten his skull horns sunk deep into the subject already.

Look for something soon, and don’t be surprised if the timestamp is an odd one.

ThatIsAll&#153