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We’re going to take a break from ranting at Obambi’s SEIU pussies to once again pursue one of our great passions:&#160 Football!

Well, Denizens, the Texas Rangers are, surprisingly, making a race of it this year waiting until August to start their July swoon.

Blind pigs & truffles, I guess.

But the C’boys are in camp already, so it’s way past time to hit the crank on the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 for yet another year.

For those of you who are new to this blog, here’s the deal:&#160 During the football season, I follow the adventures – or misadventures, in some cases – of six football teams which I like, and chronicle their exploits here.&#160 I then invite you to do likewise in the comment section of each PFW post.

This year’s PFW teams are as follows:

High school – (Fort Worth) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets:&#160 The Yellow Jackets will once again be led by coach Steve Hale – and since I can never to save my life find anything in the way of predictions for this motley bunch, I’ll go out on a limb and predict 13-0 and a state championship.

(Reality here.&#160 Don’t even&#160 bet on it.&#160 3-7 and another one-and-done in the playoffs.&#160 If&#160 they get that far.)

College: – Texas Christian University Horned Frogs:&#160 Gary Patterson marks yet another year as the Tadpoles’ head coach, and brings back seven starters on offense and five on defense.

TCU’s fortunes this year will, once again, all depend on the cannon arm of junior quarterback Andy Dalton.&#160 He will have more experienced help this year at the skill positions, with Jimmy Young & Bart Johnson split wide and bulldog back Joseph Turner running for the tough yards.

He will also not be hamstrung by the plodding, pedantic, predictable offense of Mike Schultz.&#160 Jarett Anderson and Justin Fuentes share play-calling this year, and it’ll be interesting to see what new wrinkles the Froggies unfurl.

Last year I said this about the defense:

They’re gonna have to score a lot to win, I fear – the defense is once again undersized, but unlike last year, it’s also now inexperienced.&#160 Let’s hope Dalton’s freshman-baptism-by-fire has tempered his abilities to a fine edge this year – he’s gonna need it

I’d say top-5 in the nation kinda put the lie to my fears, hm?

Special teams will once again be a concern until Ross Evans figures out how to kick the ball straight.&#160 Anson Kelton will once again handle punting chores.

The schedule is a killer early with road games at both Virginia & Auburn – yeah, that&#160 Auburn – during the first three weeks.&#160 1-2 is not out of the question.

College – University of Oklahoma Sooners – I’ve come to respect (and even admire) the will to win that is embodied in Bob Stoops.&#160 Plus, he’s matured some over the years, and is a little more humble nowadays, which is good.

Stoops will bring back Sam Bradford, Jermaine Gresham and a cast of thou…well, dozens (grin)…as they try yet again for a national championship.&#160 They came close last year, closer than they’ve been in a while.&#160 Perhaps this year will be the one that takes them over the hump.

College – University of Nebraska Cornhuskers – It’s Year Two for the Bo Pelini regime, and Bo will return 13 starters (five offensive, seven defensive and the place-kicker).&#160 The Big XII North is a killer, but Pelini will win at least a couple of games on the strength of his personality alone.

College – University of Buffalo (NY) Bulls – I was certain that Turner Gill was gone to a major program this year.&#160 Alas, the call never came, so we’ll follow the plight of the Bulls for another year.&#160 Drew Willy is gone, but Gill will rely on the two-headed monster of James Starks & Brandon Thermilus once again to “punch holes in the opposing defense’s front line”, as George Carlin used to put it.&#160 Naaman Roosevelt returns to provide new quarterback Zach Maynard air support, and the defense will be anchored by 2008 All-MAC selections Davonte Shannon, Mike Newton and Justin Winters.

This year, Gill’s bunch are tapped to repeat as Mid-American Conference East Division champs, but the hardest thing to do is repeat, particularly since Buffalo will sneak up on no one this year.&#160 Gill’s continued maturation as a head coach gets tested here.

Because the Bulls are rated this highly now, the SpatulaLine – allowing them a little extra slack when it came to the Vegas line – is gone.&#160 UBuffalo is on their own going forward.

Don’t disappoint me, Turner.&#160

Pro – Dallas Cowboys – Anyone who expects Wade Phillips to be back next year, raise your hand.

(crickets)

Didn’t think so.

Widdle Terri Owens is gone (and, because of that, is now back to being called Widdle Terri Owens).&#160 Pacman “Make It Rain” Jones is gone.&#160 Anthony Henry is gone.&#160 Roy Williams (the safety) is gone.&#160 Chris Canty is gone.&#160 Zach Thomas is gone.&#160 Defensive coordinator Brian Stewart is gone.

And perhaps most importantly, Jessica Simpson is gone.

So is this the year Dallas practices addition by subtraction?

Tony Romo returns at quarterback, as usual, with a new primary receiver (Roy Williams – the other one), but has pretty much the same cast of characters as last year – Patrick Crayton, Sam Hurd, Miles Austin and James Witten.&#160 Marion “The Barbarian” Barber will anchor the running game, assisted by Felix Jones and rookie semi-sensation Tashard Choice.

On defense, Demarcus Ware dominates the league once again, and the hope is that this will create room for third-year player Anthony Spencer to operate.&#160 Igor Olshansky takes over for Canty, and Keith Brookings replaces Thomas in the linebacking corps.&#160 Dallas is a little thin at cornerback, but not disturbingly so.&#160 Well, yet anyway – we’re still waiting for a complete season from Terrance Newman.

Mat McBriar and Nick Folk man the kicking game, as always – probably as good a tandem as there is in the league.

All that said, a 1-4 start could have Jerry Jones a mite nervous.&#160 Gotta fill up the new JerryWorld, after all.

Now, the rules for the PFW are simple:&#160 All my teams which are playing on a given weekend have to win for a Perfect Football Weekend&#153 to be declared.&#160 As usual, I just care about my teams – I don’t give a flying fuck about your&#160 teams; that’s what the comments are for.&#160 And participation in PFW threads are most welcome.

We’ll crank up things next week or so, once the games commence.&#160 See you then.

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