We’re going to take a break from ranting at Obambi’s SEIU pussies to once again pursue one of our great passions:  Football!
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Well, Denizens, the Texas Rangers are, surprisingly, making a race of it this year waiting until August to start their July swoon.
Blind pigs & truffles, I guess.
But the C’boys are in camp already, so it’s way past time to hit the crank on the Perfect Football Weekend™ for yet another year.
For those of you who are new to this blog, here’s the deal:  During the football season, I follow the adventures – or misadventures, in some cases – of six football teams which I like, and chronicle their exploits here.  I then invite you to do likewise in the comment section of each PFW post.
This year’s PFW teams are as follows:
High school – (Fort Worth) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets:  The Yellow Jackets will once again be led by coach Steve Hale – and since I can never to save my life find anything in the way of predictions for this motley bunch, I’ll go out on a limb and predict 13-0 and a state championship.
(Reality here.  Don’t even  bet on it.  3-7 and another one-and-done in the playoffs.  If  they get that far.)
College: – Texas Christian University Horned Frogs:  Gary Patterson marks yet another year as the Tadpoles’ head coach, and brings back seven starters on offense and five on defense.
TCU’s fortunes this year will, once again, all depend on the cannon arm of junior quarterback Andy Dalton.  He will have more experienced help this year at the skill positions, with Jimmy Young & Bart Johnson split wide and bulldog back Joseph Turner running for the tough yards.
He will also not be hamstrung by the plodding, pedantic, predictable offense of Mike Schultz.  Jarett Anderson and Justin Fuentes share play-calling this year, and it’ll be interesting to see what new wrinkles the Froggies unfurl.
Last year I said this about the defense:
They’re gonna have to score a lot to win, I fear – the defense is once again undersized, but unlike last year, it’s also now inexperienced.  Let’s hope Dalton’s freshman-baptism-by-fire has tempered his abilities to a fine edge this year – he’s gonna need it
I’d say top-5 in the nation kinda put the lie to my fears, hm?
Special teams will once again be a concern until Ross Evans figures out how to kick the ball straight.  Anson Kelton will once again handle punting chores.
The schedule is a killer early with road games at both Virginia & Auburn – yeah, that  Auburn – during the first three weeks.  1-2 is not out of the question.
College – University of Oklahoma Sooners – I’ve come to respect (and even admire) the will to win that is embodied in Bob Stoops.  Plus, he’s matured some over the years, and is a little more humble nowadays, which is good.
Stoops will bring back Sam Bradford, Jermaine Gresham and a cast of thou…well, dozens (grin)…as they try yet again for a national championship.  They came close last year, closer than they’ve been in a while.  Perhaps this year will be the one that takes them over the hump.
College – University of Nebraska Cornhuskers – It’s Year Two for the Bo Pelini regime, and Bo will return 13 starters (five offensive, seven defensive and the place-kicker).  The Big XII North is a killer, but Pelini will win at least a couple of games on the strength of his personality alone.
College – University of Buffalo (NY) Bulls – I was certain that Turner Gill was gone to a major program this year.  Alas, the call never came, so we’ll follow the plight of the Bulls for another year.  Drew Willy is gone, but Gill will rely on the two-headed monster of James Starks & Brandon Thermilus once again to “punch holes in the opposing defense’s front line”, as George Carlin used to put it.  Naaman Roosevelt returns to provide new quarterback Zach Maynard air support, and the defense will be anchored by 2008 All-MAC selections Davonte Shannon, Mike Newton and Justin Winters.
This year, Gill’s bunch are tapped to repeat as Mid-American Conference East Division champs, but the hardest thing to do is repeat, particularly since Buffalo will sneak up on no one this year.  Gill’s continued maturation as a head coach gets tested here.
Because the Bulls are rated this highly now, the SpatulaLine – allowing them a little extra slack when it came to the Vegas line – is gone.  UBuffalo is on their own going forward.
Don’t disappoint me, Turner. 
Pro – Dallas Cowboys – Anyone who expects Wade Phillips to be back next year, raise your hand.
(crickets)
Didn’t think so.
Widdle Terri Owens is gone (and, because of that, is now back to being called Widdle Terri Owens).  Pacman “Make It Rain” Jones is gone.  Anthony Henry is gone.  Roy Williams (the safety) is gone.  Chris Canty is gone.  Zach Thomas is gone.  Defensive coordinator Brian Stewart is gone.
And perhaps most importantly, Jessica Simpson is gone.
So is this the year Dallas practices addition by subtraction?
Tony Romo returns at quarterback, as usual, with a new primary receiver (Roy Williams – the other one), but has pretty much the same cast of characters as last year – Patrick Crayton, Sam Hurd, Miles Austin and James Witten.  Marion “The Barbarian” Barber will anchor the running game, assisted by Felix Jones and rookie semi-sensation Tashard Choice.
On defense, Demarcus Ware dominates the league once again, and the hope is that this will create room for third-year player Anthony Spencer to operate.  Igor Olshansky takes over for Canty, and Keith Brookings replaces Thomas in the linebacking corps.  Dallas is a little thin at cornerback, but not disturbingly so.  Well, yet anyway – we’re still waiting for a complete season from Terrance Newman.
Mat McBriar and Nick Folk man the kicking game, as always – probably as good a tandem as there is in the league.
All that said, a 1-4 start could have Jerry Jones a mite nervous.  Gotta fill up the new JerryWorld, after all.
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Now, the rules for the PFW are simple:  All my teams which are playing on a given weekend have to win for a Perfect Football Weekend™ to be declared.  As usual, I just care about my teams – I don’t give a flying fuck about your  teams; that’s what the comments are for.  And participation in PFW threads are most welcome.
We’ll crank up things next week or so, once the games commence.  See you then.