Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





Denizens, I need some help here, and you’re the only ones who can do this.

(If you’ve never registered here, and you’re passing by, or just bored or whatever, feel free to register and offer your views, too.)

Take a look at that Rolex© watch face over there on the right sidebar.

Question:  Do you see a white background surrounding the watch?

Here’s the deal:  I saw the watch in a white square the other day while on another machine running Internet Exploder.

However, I can’t reproduce the effect on my machine, but I don’t trust my weird-assed color scheme.  This is where you come in.

If you’ll do me the honor of telling me what you’re seeing, I’d be most grateful.

Thanks in advance.  (And thanks for reading this blog, too, while I’m thinking about it.)

UPDATE:  Actually, I think I like this clock with the starfield background better.

Still, if you see anything there but the black page b/g, lemme know if you would.

_____________________________________________________





We start this episode of the Perfect Football Weekend in preparation for a WITY™.

If you’ll recall, after Widdle Terri Owens pulled his traditional schtick after the first Beefalo-New England game, I opined:

Anyway, Buffalo will learn, I’m guessing. The over/under is 3-9 before the light suddenly comes on.

Well, the Bills are now 3-6, and have just canned head coach Dick Jauron.  Their next three games are:  at Jacksonville; vs. Miami at home; vs. the Noo Yawk J-E-T-S-JetsJetsJets!!!, also at home.

In other words, three-and-nine is not  out of the question.  And, prior to being fired, Jauron had this to say about the latest Owens flare-up in the Tennessee game:

What didn’t seem to bug Jauron was Owens’ outburst early in the second quarter, when the receiver said he questioned Edwards’ read of the Titans’ defense prior to a snap on third-and-24. Owens was penalized on the play for illegal formation.

Jauron noted that there are numerous shouting matches on the sideline during every game, and suggested what happened was being “blown out of proportion” only because T.O. was involved.

“He doesn’t become a distraction,” Jauron said. “No, I wouldn’t say I wish he hadn’t done it.”

Owens, who had a season-best 85 yards receiving, didn’t speak to reporters on Monday, but explained following the game that he was attempting to get the offense on the same page. Receiver Josh Reed(notes), who was in on the discussion, agreed with Owens’ explanation of what happened.

“We were just telling them what we saw,” Reed said on Monday.

Owens also summed up the loss by noting: “What’s new? That is how it has been the last seven or eight weeks: We lost games in the third or fourth quarter.”

(UPDATE:  Incidentally, after re-reading that, it looks as if I misunderstood – Jauron actually had no problem with the outburst.  Who knows – may be one reason why he was fired.)

So.  Bills losing, Owens not happy and causing controversy, head coach fired – What’d I Tell Ya™?

Let’s go to the PFW.  Turner Gill’s defenseless UBuffalo Bulls are at Ben Roethelisberger’s alma mater, Miami of Ohio, tonight on ESPNU.

Vegas has UBeefalo by four on the road, but To Hell With That™.  For the rest of the season, the SpatulaLine is officially back on – the Bulls have to stay within 14 points of the spread for it to count.  Thus, as long as they don’t lose by 10 or more, it’ll count as a victory.  And they’ll have the SpatulaLine on ‘em until they get something resembling a defense.

My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have had a wonderful season, winning their first playoff game since I was a student there, i.e. eons.  That all likely comes to an end Friday, as the area-round game against Denton Ryan takes place in a little town about 15 miles north & west of here called Keller.  Look for Ryan in a romp.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s fourth-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs are in the rarefied air (literally) up in Wyoming to play the Cowboys.  The Cowboys are up & down (they’re a .500 team), but they always seem to play well at home, and in fact beat TCU there two years ago.  I like the Frogs here, but Wyoming isn’t going to lay down about it.  Nevertheless, if the Froggies win this one, an undefeated regular season is all but assured, so look for Coach Gary to have the troops ready.

Also Saturday, Oklahoma goes and has its Halloween three weeks late, as they visit their personal house of horrors up in Lubbock against Texas Tech.  Weird things have happened to the Sooners up there in the past, so be ready for anything.  Literally.

Saturday evening, tied-for-25th-ranked (USA) Nebraska hosts Kansas State in Lincoln.  Your guess as to if it’ll be the JekyllHuskers or the HydeHuskers – although HDD still prefers to call them the Children of the Corn™, which is scary enough right there.

Sunday at noon, the Dallas Cowgirls will welcome the Warshington Foreskins to the Death Star In Arlington™.

MERLIN:  You mean…

VENOMOUSAhem.

MERLIN:  Oh.  Um, right.

Warshington actually won  last week, and had to have watched tape on how Green Bay manhandled the ‘Girls.  Look for more of the same, unfortunately.

Unless it results in Coach Stay-Puf getting fired…in which case, GO SKINS!!!

We’re back Monday with the recap.  In the meantime, Bucky is a seven-point road favorite at N’western, so my question to the aforementioned HDD is:  Only  seven?

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, obviously (that is, if you’re paying attention it’s obvious) I’m testing out some new features to put on This Fine Blog™.  Your patience is most appreciated.

K’HADIBAK’H:  As if they had any choice.

VENOMOUS:  Hush, you.

K’HADIBAK’H:  (smirk)

Not sure if we’re gonna keep any of these, or if they’ll even work if/when we decide to upgrade the WordPress version.

RAYEGUN:  You’re actually gonna do that?

VENOMOUS:  When I’m damned good ‘n ready, awright?!

RAYEGUN:  It was just a question, geeze.

MERLIN:  Little touchy this morning, are we?

MRS. VENOMOUS:  He’s still p.o.’d about the Cowgirls.

MERLIN:  Ah.

MRS. VENOMOUS:  Hey, be glad you’re just on staff.  I  have to live with him 24/7.

KORRIOTH:  Our condolences, ma’am.

VENOMOUS:  Would you all PUT A CORK IN IT?!?!?!

This is what happens when I hire non-union help.

MRS. VENOMOUSHEY!!!!

VENOMOUS

Anyway, keep yer eyes peeled for more of this stuff.  ThatIsAll™.

_____________________________________________________





While I do not share our Blog founder’s enthusiasm for Israel, they have long been one of our most faithful allies. To see Obama turn his back on them as chronicled here is far more than discouraging.

There is a simple fact here. The Palestinians, who up until the sixties were known as the Arabs that they are, have never hid the fact that their goal is the complete destruction of the nation of Israel; as well as the killing of as many Israeli Jews as possible. If Obama actually throws Israel under the bus as this article indicates he has done, we can fully expect Israel to fight back with every weapon at their disposal.

Should the UN unilaterally declare a Palistinian state, the entire middle east will become a blood soaked sand pit, almost immediately. Israel will not sit idly by and allow themselves to be destroyed. They will fight, and the Islamic states will enter the fight against the Israelis. This will disrupt oil flow out of the Persian gulf, which will playt havoc with the world economy.

I pray that I am wrong, but given the parties involved, and Obama’s open disdain for Israel, I really don’t see any other course.

_____________________________________________________





Coach Stay-Puf should be damned  glad I don’t own the Cowgirls.  I’d've fired him before he got on the plane back to Dallas and made his fat ass walk home.

FW Arlington Heights 20, Arlington Seguin 13 (OT) (Bi-district)

at #4 Texas Christian 55, #16 Utah 28

at UBuffalo 24, Ohio 27

at Oklahoma 65, Texas A&M 10

Nebraska 31, at Kansas 17

Dallas 7, at Green Bay 0, Fucking Blind-assed Zebras Who Couldn’t Even Keep Track Of GB’s Challenges 17

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





President Obama, after breaking the bank with his “stimulus” spending, now wants us to believe that he is going to limit the Federal budget. Check this out.

“President Barack Obama is expected to make post-recession spending restraint a key theme of his State of the Union address in January and an important element of the budget he submits to Congress a few weeks later. He is under increasing pressure, including from moderate and conservative members of his own party, to show he is serious about tackling a deficit that has become both an economic and political liability.”

All I can say is that anyone who actually believes this tripe should be declared legally incompetent.

_____________________________________________________





While Venomous is celebrating his birthday, we have some news which shouldn’t surprise anyone, even though it is highly irritating.

It seems that our incompetent excuse for a chief executive has once again decided that the American President bows to foreign heads. Check here for details.

In my opinion, such activity qualifies as a high crime or a misdemeanor. Unfortunately, our sorry excuse for a congress will not even consider impeachment proceedings.

_____________________________________________________





[SCENE:  Onboard Titanic, outside Transporter Room 1. The same crew that pulled this stunt off has congregated close to the doorway.]

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, you may have noticed my associates, Mr. Hartung & General Rayegun, have penned three of the last four entries.

There’s a reason for that.  There’s a problem over here at Chez Venomous, and free time for the next three or four weeks is going to be at a premium.

When all is said and done, I’ll deliver the after-action report.  Until then, if there are days when this blog is silent, fret not.

MERLIN:  I doubt The Six Or Seven™ are wringing their hands in angst, y’know?

VENOMOUS:  Yeah, I know.  But there are some  out there who will enjoy the schadenfreude.

K’HADIBAK’H:  (snort!)

Anyway, watch this space.

_____________________________________________________





It seems that this race may not be over yet. Read this. It seems that after a “recanvassing” of the vote. the conservative Doug Hoffman is only a little over 3,000 votes down, and the absentee votes have not yet been counted. Over 10,000 absentee ballots were sent out.

Because of the number of absentee ballots, the election results have not yet been certified. Despite this, and because Hoffman had conceeded and was not contesting the preliminary results, House Speaker Pelosi was legally able to swear in the Democrat. If the Absentee balllots give the race to Hoffman, Owens will have to leave the House.

This could possibly raise a constitutional question. The Healthcare bill won by 2 votes. What would have happened had Hoffman been in the House, or had there been no representative from New York’s 23d district?

If Hoffman should be declared the winner, and should the American People keep kicking up a fuss, I sincerely doubt that any sort of conference bill on healthcare will make it through the House.

_____________________________________________________





Thank you.

_____________________________________________________





On this day in 1918 the war we know as World War One came to an end. At that time it was called the “War to End All Wars.” Since then the fighting men and women of our military have gone into harms way in at least five other wars, and are in fact fighting one of those wars now. Those who have been called to lay their lives on the line in defense of our nation and its Constitution deserve our undying gratitude and thanks.

One of the awesome things about our nation is that so many of our fellow citizens do understand the debt we owe these patriots. This understanding on the part of the citizenry makes completely incomprehensible,  the fact that our government allows our enemies to serve in the  military.

Think about this for a minute. We are fighting a war against radical Islamic terrorists, yet our government seems to have no problem with these same radical Islamists serving in our military.

Folks, I am not saying that every faithful Muslim is a radical terrorist. What I am saying is that given the makeup of our enemy, we should be giving those Muslims’s who choose military service very close and careful scrutiny. Those who show signs of radicalism, such as perhaps worshiping at a mosque led by a radical cleric, should be immediately discharged. Discharge them honorably, but discharge them.

Had we had such a policy in place two weeks ago, the events of last week might have been prevented.

_____________________________________________________





Yes, I know. It’s been a queen’s age or some such cliché like that.

Life as they say, happens. (Yes, I know….another old cliché)

Needless to say the Generalette and I have been busy trying to fend off the zombie horde….and a few hunnert of them there leftards too!

Now as the Silly Season™ approacheth, we are not getting much in the way of rest. After all my duties as the General, I get to come home to performing a pair of computer core upgrades (with the commiserate hardware upgrades as well), purchasing a few needed upgrades to a household appliance or three, and then on Friday we are getting our roof replaced (thanks to Ike and a freak hail storm in July during our honeymoon) finally. After that is the required annual “cleaning of the ducts and chimney”, but thankfully that’s also being handled by the professional contractors. Then the Generalette gets to go ga-ga with her favorite season of the year. Yes, she has plans to turn the front yard into somethig akin to Clark W. Griswold’s effort in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation!! Pray I don’t end up in the hospital with broken somethings….

Well, it looks like the computer core upgrade, episode 1 is ready for demolition. Off I go.

Standby for more soon. I hope.

_____________________________________________________





Short turnaround for the Perfect Football Weekend this go-round, Denizens, as UBuffalo continues in its attempts to become the Kings of Tuesday Night™.

We’ll start this episode by relating a tale of Yet Another Unhappy Phuckadelphia Beagle™.

MERLIN:  Doesn’t Terri Owens play for the pro Beefaloes now?

VENOMOUS:  Quite.  But we’re not talking Owens this time – but rather, Mikey the Dog Whisperer:

While being really, really careful not to say anything that would make waves, Philadelphia Eagles “quarterback” Michael Vick(notes) said yesterday that he’s not thrilled about his role in the Philadelphia offense. He doesn’t dig the Wildcat, and if it’s up to him, he won’t be doing it next year.

“It would be hard,” Vick said of returning to the Eagles, according to excerpts released by NBC. “It would be an everyday struggle. But I would have to take that time to hone my skills and get better. I’m excited about the opportunity I have moving forward whether it’s with Philadelphia or another team.” [...]

“I won’t be a Wildcat guy. I can’t,” Vick told NBC. “It’s a different style of play. It’s almost like a hit-or-miss type of thing. My position is quarterback. That’s what I was born to do.”

KORRIOTH:  Can you say “quarterback controversy”?

VENOMOUS:  I can say “bye-bye, Mikey”.

On to the PFW.  Ohio University – not to be confused with Ohio State  University – invades UB Stadium tomorrow night.

I was  gonna comment on how the UO program is lower than pond scum – then I got a look at the Vegas line:  UBeefalo by one.

Sigh.

Friday night, Heights will pull its annual one-and-done playoff disappearing act against Seguin High of Arlington.  Now, Seguin is 4-6, and you guys will remember what I think of playoff teams with losing records.

But number one, this is Heights…and number two, they were in this exact same position a year agoand lost.  Ergo, I’ll be searching for a new high school team next week.

Saturday Bob Stoopes and his Oklahoma Sooners will get yet another chance to beat a Texas team when the A&M Aggies visit Memorial Stadium.  Memo to Landry Jones:  It’s okay to throw to the red jerseys this  week.

Before that, the Nebraska Cornhuskers will attempt to continue Rock Chalk Jayhawk’s misery as they travel to Lawrence, Kansas for an afternoon game.  Rumors that Bo Pelini was going to start both Cody Green & Zac Lee in the same backfield were unsubstantiated at press time.

The marquee college game of the week will be in Fort Worth, as the fourth-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs will be playing the most important game in the last few years.  The 16th-ranked Utah Utes will provide the opposition – and (though it pains me to say this) if TCU is going to lose a game this year, this would be it.

However, the Frogs have been installed as an early 17-point favorite.  And I’ll tell you right now I don’t like that line.  It may very well come down to the field-goal kickers once again – in which case, the Frogs have a shot.  Ross Evans has been lights out this year, and he could be the difference one more time.

Suffice it to say that this game will determine what kind of year it turns out to be for the Froggies – whether it be merely another good one for a good program, or the kind of magical season that will wind up with a BCS bid.

Sunday, the Dallas C’boys take their 6-2 first-half record to the frrrroooooooozen tunnnnnndraaaaa  (channeling a little Chris Berman, there) of Green Bay to take on the Packers.  Dallas broke the Green Bay hex last year, and the Pack just got through losing to Tampa Bay, of all teams, so I kinda like the Pokes here.

We’re back next Monday for the recap.  Meanwhile, Bucky opens as a 9½-point favorite at home to Michigan, so my question for HDD is…are we looking at a Badger rout?

_____________________________________________________





He sure picked a great time to catch his only pass of the night, huh?

Arlington Heights 21, Dunbar 7 (District 4A-7 championship)

#4 Texas Christian 55, at San Diego State 12

at UBuffalo 29, Bowling Green 30

at Nebraska 10, #20 Oklahoma 3

Dallas 20, at Phuckadelphia 16

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________

« Previous Articles    Next Articles »
_______________
 
 
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Spatula City BBS! was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.