Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
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[SCENE:&#160 ISS Titanic, Main Security.

Inside the Agony Booth Interrogation Chamber, we see former Chief Engineer Merlin, writhing in most painful contortions.&#160 (And, we might add, quite gymnastic ones at that – we’ve already seen a couple of good 540s, and one quite stylish 720.)&#160 Over in the corner, there is a pile of bodies, consisting of Captain Korrioth, Tactical Officer K’hadibak’h, Commumications Officer T-Bone McManx, and the rest of the Engineering staff made up of Bynars, Klingons, Ferengi and jawas.

Inside the Control Room, Lord Darth Venomous twists & turns knobs & switches with an extremely&#160 sadistic grin on his visage.&#160 New/previous Chief Engineer Ozymandias McCool looks on passively.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 And you will&#160 make sure you have a working license&#160 for that operating system next time, won’t&#160 you, Wizard?!

Some tech where I work is not going to be a happy camper when I get through with him.

(And he voted for Bambi, too, so I’m not kidding about the sadistic grin here.)

Going back to XP, Denizens.&#160 (It’s not all bad – it’s been over the requisite six months since the last wipe, so the Big Box&#153 was due, anyway.)

Back soon.

UPDATE:&#160 And before any of you libtard pussies start accusing me of running pirated shit – this was a Dell reinstalltion disk.&#160 Ergo, it has&#160 a license – it’s just not embedded into the CD like it is with XP SP3.

So you can kiss my ass if you don’t like it.

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[SCENE:&#160 ISS Titanic Main Engineering.&#160 Chief Engineer Merlin and a motley crew of Bynars, Klingons, Ferengi and jawas are hovering over a command console, checking & re-checking intermix figures.&#160 On the other side of the console, Captain Korrioth watches with great interest.

Merlin looks up at Korrioth.]

MERLIN:&#160 Almost there, Captain.&#160 Cross-checking a couple of equations now.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Speed is not as critical as accuracy, Wizard.&#160 I like pain as much as the next Klingon, but purple-white Force&#153 lightnimg bolts give me hives.

MERLIN:&#160 Pepper has something for that, as I recall…

[Korrioth glares at Merlin]

MERLIN:&#160 …but your point is well taken, sir.&#160 This warp drive won’t collapse in deep space like the last one did.&#160 On that, you have my word.

KORRIOTH:&#160 See to it, Engineer.&#160 I’ll be on the br…

[The doors to Engineering slide open, revealing Lord Darth Venomous and a slightly taller, hooded figure.&#160 The figure moves with what, to Korrioth’s eye, is a very familiar gait – yet, the Klingon/Vulcan hybrid can’t quite place it.

The pair approach the huddled mass.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Report, Captain, if you please.

KORRIOTH:&#160 In progress, Admiral.&#160 Engineer Merlin’s work is nearly complete; we should be able to begin testing shortly.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Excellent work, gentlemen.&#160 I brought him some help.

[Venomous nods to the figure, who removes the hood to the loud gasps of the entire assemblage.&#160 Revealed is the visage of Ozymandias McCool, who had previously met his destiny here.

Venomous eyes the group with smug satisfaction.&#160 Korrioth is the first to find his voice.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 How in the hell…?!

VENOMOUS:&#160 A friend of mind has some Spaarti cylinders and owed me a favor.&#160 I keep DNA samples of all of you in a secret location; it was nothing to send my friend a sample.

MERLIN:&#160 Then he’s…

VENOMOUS:&#160 No, he’s not Ozymaandias McCool.&#160 We’re not having any of that shit in this&#160 screenplay.

MERLIN:&#160 Yes, sir.&#160 (to Ozy) So…are you…?

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 I’m ready to go, yes, sir.&#160 I can relieve you now, or wait until you’re done here.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Go ahead and join the party, Ozy.&#160 I want this tub ready to fly ASAP, alright?

MERLIN:&#160 We’re on it, Admiral.&#160 Come along, lad.

[The group returns to their work, a new spring in their step.]

Okay, Denizens, it’s time to see what Windows 7 can do on the Big Box&#153.&#160 I may be incomunicado for a bit.&#160 Hang tight.

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The Comment Of The Year&#153 (for now, anyway) goes to a fellow named Chris Baker, who was commenting on this LA Slimes&#160 blog entry about “whatever&#160 could have possibly&#160 happened to Our Savior&#153?&#160 Sob!!!”

Mr. Baker writes thusly:

Seriously – what happened to Obama?

Nothing. Nothing that any mature, level-headed American didn’t see coming. Maybe the difference is that a bunch of sappy, pollyanna Americans grew up.

He came in as an overhyped, unqualified, under-accomplished, junior-light-weight-do-nothing-senator who is now a junior-light-weight-do-nothing-president. He did nothing in Illinois as a senator except vote “present” – he changed nothing but his address. Chicago is still a corrupt, bankrupt cesspool. He is all veneer, hype, smoke and mirrors – all hat and no cattle.

Face it – he was carefully packaged, propped up, paraded like a peacock on the shoulders of political interest groups and rode a wave of political correctness that was out of control into the Whitehouse. His vision to “fundamentally” change America is dead wrong and his cast of far left zealots, thugs and tax cheats are now learning that. After all his empty campaign promises and rhetoric – where are the rainbows and unicorns? Where are the spontaneous outbursts of Kumbaya?

The country has never been more divided. Never have prospects for our children been so bleak. Bad enough he’s a joke at home but he’s totally dismissed overseas as well. This liberal disease has been eating away at America for too long – the benefit of Obama is that he put that into hyper-drive and now the country is no in the throes of a massive backlash and we needed it.

This is it – America will either eradicate this far-left disease and rise again or we will let it destroy us like the cancer that it is.

Bravo, Mr. Baker.&#160 Effing.&#160 Bra.&#160 Vo.&#160

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Funny thing about Texas politics.&#160 Give a candidate enough rope to hang themselves, they’ll usually oblige.

Up until yesterday, the GOP side of the Texas goober-natorial was shaping up to be a nice little menage a trois – the last polls I’d heard had Big Dickhead Perry at 49%, Kay Bailout Hutchinson at 27% and this nurse from Beeville named Debra Medina at 19%.&#160 And the only reason Medina was closing on Kay Bailout was due to some incredible buzz, first from pseudo-conservative WBAP talk-show host Mark Davis, then from what I’ve been told are impressive performances in a couple of subsequent three-way debates between them all.

That all came to a rather abrupt end yesterday.&#160 Dan Riehl had a report about a supposed Perry sockpuppet whispering that Medina was a 9/11 Twoofer on one of the Dullest Moaning Snooze&#160 blogs.

Dec. 19: Perry has done a great job for veterans. Probably the most pro-veteran governor we have had in the modern era. Perry also IS a veteran, having served for more than half a dozen years.
Dec. 4: Rick Perry is awesome. Texas is the best state in America! WOOT!
Nov. 22: KBH is a liberal RINO. Perry needs to point that out early and often.
Nov. 8: Rick Perry is doing a heck of a job standing up to the liberals and keeping Texas the most prosperous state in the nation.

(For the time being, we’ll ignore the Moaning Snooze’s&#160 whining about supposed TOS violations.&#160 Frankly, I don’t give a shit about that either way.)

Anyway…

Glenn Beck had an opportunity to interview Ms. Medina about it, give the candidate a chance to “clear her name”, if you will, and – well – funny how that noose slipped around ol’ Deb’s neck as if it were a strand of pearls, y’know?

Okay, so it’s bad enough when you plant one foot&#160 in a pile of dogshit.&#160 (I gots me two puppies.&#160 Trust me on this.)

What makes it worse&#160 is when you go to “clarify” what you said earlier…and then go and plant the other&#160 foot in the same damned pile…

(UPDATE:&#160 I’m finding out only now that those of you who are idiots and run IE may not be able to see this.&#160 Here’s the link for you guys.)

Oops.

Buh-bye, Debra.&#160 Thanks for playing.&#160 Johnny Olson Rod Roddy Whatever your name is behind that mic…do we have any parting gifts for our nice contestant?&#160

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Hannity and Foxnews weather guy Joe Bastardi said yesterday, “Dallas, you’re gonna get snow.”

The talking heads around here said it wasn’t going to stick – that it would melt as soon as it hit the ground.

The talking heads might wanna listen to Fox News next time.

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Okay, so lemme see if I’ve got this straight.

For damned near eight years, the Limpdicked Lickspittle Leftards&#153 did everything they could to undermine the United States’ war effort.

They maligned our commander-in-chief on a daily basis.&#160 Said about it – and I quote – “this war is lost”.

They called our troops “murderers” and accused them of being war criminals.&#160 Some of them actually wanted to leave our men & women high & dry by defunding the war effort.

And now one of these bastards has the chutzpah&#160 to suggest that any criticism of Jugears McHopenchange only helps Al-Qaida.

Politics should never get in the way of national security.

“Except when we’re the ones practicing the politics that get in the way of national security.”

But too many in Washington are now misrepresenting the facts to score political points, instead of coming together to keep us safe.

We’re not the ones wanting to give Khalid Sheikh Muhammed a fucking show trial&#160 in New York City, dim bulb.

We were perfectly content keeping the ragheaded scumbags down at Gitmo, but your&#160 homie was the one who decided that Gitmo must be closed at all costs – a campaign promise on which even now Bambi reneges.

This administration’s efforts have disrupted dozens of terrorist plots against the homeland and been responsible for killing and capturing hundreds of hard-core terrorists, including senior leaders in Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia and beyond — far more than in 2008.

Oh, yeah – right.&#160 And Barry Switzer won Super Bowl XXX with his own players, rather than Jimmy Johnson’s in Dallas.

Pull the other&#160 one, dickhead.

We need no lectures about the fact that this nation is at war.

Apparently, you do.&#160 You bastards don’t even want to call it terrorism&#160 any more – your own excuse-for-a-Homeland-Security-chief just wants to call it a “man-caused disaster”.&#160 I mean, Hulk Hogan used to battle the Natural Disasters “Earthquake” and “Typhoon” in the old WWF – but this&#160 is fuckin’ ridiculous.

Politically motivated criticism and unfounded fear-mongering only serve the goals of al-Qaeda.

Yeah, dumbass.&#160 Just like they did from late 2001 until January 20, 2009 – but now that it’s your&#160 homeboy, it’s not such a hot idea, is it now?

Motherfucking pussy.&#160

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If you watched the Super Bowl (congratulations, Saints!&#160 The C’boys are still&#160 better than you), you no doubt saw (and, if you’re like me, were majorly offended by) this commercial:

This moron seems to think it was a potshot at him and his ilk.

At first blush this seems like more teabagging—appealing to angry white men with the same old stereotype of environmentalists as meddling do-gooders obsessed with picayune behavioral sins.

I didn’t see it that way.&#160 I saw it as Audi trying to shove “green-ism” down my throat & out my piehole.

And, given that we’re living in a society where the old-fashioned lightbulb has been outlawed, that’s got me seeing an RCOB&#153 Right About Now&#153.

Congratulations, Audi.&#160 You’ve managed to guarantee that at least one person will never buy your POS excuses-for-cars.

Join Government Motors & Chrysler, right over there on the ashheap of history.&#160 Because that’s where you’re headed.

As for you pussies in the “green police”

You may end up taking me down.&#160 But so help me Cthulu, I’ll have a fucking honor guard.

That, you can fucking take to the bank.&#160

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As God is my witness, I swear to you, Denizens – I had not seen this by 5:30 CST yesterday, when I first had this thought.

But in any case, mea culpas aside, let me pop my head up real quickly to say that having watched Gov. Palin’s speech at the Tea Party Convention in full (available here on PJTV — skip the legacy media, support PJTV if you can)… I am more convinced than ever that Gov. Palin should be the next chair of the RNC. In fact, Chairman Steele should step down now, fly to Alaska, and fairly BEG Gov. Palin to take the job.

Great minds, indeed, do think alike.

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As you guys will recall, I mentioned the other day where John-girl Murthafucker was on the verge of having his one-way ticket to Hell stamped in indelible red ink.

Who says God doesn’t answer prayer?

Rep. John Murtha, a retired Marine Corps officer traitorous ex-Marine pussy [NOTE:&#160 Fixed it for you, Asphyxiated Piss.&#160 -DV] who became the first Vietnam War combat veteran elected to Congress and later an outspoken and influential critic of the Iraq War treasonous bastard [NOTE:&#160 And again.&#160 -DV], died Monday. He was 77.

Break out the champagne.&#160

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Denizens, Supreme General Rayegun embarks on a new project today (which, I trust, he will let us know all about some time hence), so he could use your prayers.

Yes, that is&#160 an order.

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(“WITY”, of course, standing for “What’d I Tell Ya?”)

The Vicar&#153 & I were conducting an email exchange yesterday, whereupon he committed…well, not a cardinal&#160 sin, but it got a good-sized virtual mock-glare from me, anyway.&#160

His trespass:&#160 referring to me as a Baptist.&#160 (The Southern&#160 part of that was not “voiced”, as it were, but given where the Realm&#153 is geographically located, one could say it was at least implied.)

Whereupon I immediately reminded him that (in the words of the Romulan Nero) that I do not speak for the Southern Baptist Convention, that they & I stand apart.

Which, in turn, reminded me&#160 that I had never followed up on my promise to layeth the smacketh downeth on their candy asses for the aforementioned folly of carrying water for a failed movement.

The world’s leading climate change scientists have been caught out making unfounded claims about global warming for the second time in just over a week.

Experts appointed by the United Nations said rising temperatures were to blame for an increase in the number and severity of natural disasters such as hurricanes and floods.

But it has emerged that the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change based the statement, made in 2007, on an unpublished report that had not been properly reviewed by other scientists.

Feel most free to go read the rest.

So tell me, Jack Graham, pastor of Prestonwood Baptist Church, my former pastor and a leader in this mad scramble to climb into bed with the Gaia-worshippers & tree-humpers huggers – how does it feel knowing that you were sold a bill of goods?&#160 And highly defective goods, at that?

How does it feel to know that you and your fellow SBC high-muckety-mucks willfully&#160 disobeyed God and focused more on pleasing man than on pleasing Him?&#160 I know how it feels when I’m&#160 reminded that I fail the Lord on a daily basis – how does it feel, knowing that not only&#160 did you do it, but then made a fucking spectacle&#160 of yourselves in announcing it to the world at large?

You people foolishly sold your souls for the hope in acquiring something resembling the acceptance of the world – hell, you morons even said as much

“Our cautious response to these issues in the face of mounting evidence may be seen by the world as uncaring, reckless and ill-informed. We can do better.”

…so how does it now feel knowing that you got caught red-handed caring more about how the fucking world&#160 saw you than how Christ saw you – and it wound up biting your on your ample asses as a result, hm?

It is time for the leadership of the Southern Baptist Convention to take its turned-into-linguini-spines, step the fuck aside and allow new, fresh blood that isn’t willing to compromise as they have, to take over and carry the banner forward.

Before that passage in Revelation that I mentioned really does&#160 come back to devour them.

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No time to write squat today, so out of the GrabBag&#153 comes this Shockwave file, courtesy of LC Rurik via email.

(Memo to the Vicar:&#160 It is not&#160 safe for work. (grin))

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Over at MSLSD, they have their panties in a bunch over the fact that Todd Palin – husband of Our Beloved Sarahcuda&#153 – wielded just a tad bit of power as a chief executive’s spouse.

Nearly 3,000 pages of e-mails that Todd Palin exchanged with state officials, which were released to msnbc.com and NBC News by the state of Alaska under its public records law, draw a picture of a Palin administration where the governor’s husband got involved in a judicial appointment, monitored contract negotiations with public employee unions, received background checks on a corporate CEO, added his approval or disapproval to state board appointments and passed financial information marked “confidential” from his oil company employer to a state attorney.

Gasp!!!&#160 Arrrrgh!!!!!&#160 FROG-MARCH THAT EVIL REPUG RACIST SEXIST HOMOPHOBE BREEEEEEEEEDERRRRRRRRRR!!!ONE!!1!!

So, I guess they’re going to royally condemn the Baroness Hilarious’ meddling in Das Klintonreich&#153 and her attempts to hijack one-sixth of the American economy back in 1993-94…oh, Any Day Now&#153.&#160 Right?

Right???

(crickets)

Well, surely&#160 they’ll at least raise an eyebrow over the First Wookiee’s&#153 elevated profile in Al-Obambi, won’t they?

Eh?

Hello???&#160 Bueller?

(more crickets)

Hmmm…&#160

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(Hat tip to the fine folks over at Hot Air.)

Well, we seem to have found Sarah Palin’s Achilles-heel: Her extreme distaste for the word “retard”.

Palin believes Limbaugh’s repeated use of the word “retard” yesterday was “crude and demeaning,” her spokesperson emails.

In the wake of Palin’s demand that Rahm Emanuel be fired for saying the liberal activist strategy on health care was “f–king retarded,” a bunch of people have been asking how she’d react to Limbaugh’s tirade on the air yesterday.

“Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult’s taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards,” Rush said, adding that Rahm’s meeting yesterday with advocates for the mentally handicapped was a “retard summit at the White House.”

Okay, I’m on board with that.&#160 And I have zero objection to the use of the word “retard” – I mean, didn’t I just get through referring to the Gaia-worshippers & tree-huggers as “libtards”?

Der Sarahcuda, apparently, takes a different view.

I asked Palin spokesperson Meghan Stapleton for comment on Rush’s rant, and she emailed me this:

“Governor Palin believes crude and demeaning name calling at the expense of others is disrespectful.”

This all comes on the heels of Our Beloved Sarah&#153 getting a mite peeved at Rick Perry’s use of the word.

Hoo, boy.

Sarah, to employ a Whoopi Goldberg-ism, there’s a difference between a retard and a retard-retard.&#160 If you know what I mean – and while that’s not the absolute best way it could be expressed here, I think you do.

This is not the hill on which you want any political aspirations of yours to die, Sarah (assuming, of course, that you still have them).&#160 Unfortunately, however, to paraphrase the boys on the old Dodge Hemi commercial, “this can’t be good”.

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The next time some libtard bleats unendingly to you extolling the supposed virtues of the Canadian health-care system – point out to said libtard that their vaunted version of socialized medicine wasn’t even capable of saving one of their own high muckety-mucks.

The premier of Canada’s east coast province is undergoing heart surgery in the United States this week because the treatment he is seeking was not available in his home province.

The announcement about of Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Danny Williams’ plans has triggered a debate since Canada prides itself on its universal health care system.

Not so much now, I’d think.

And Bambi actually wants us to emulate&#160 them?

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