Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
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[SCENE:&#160 The Coruscant system.&#160 ISS Phoenix&#160 hovers, lifeless and adrift save for the tractor beam of a New Republic vessel holding it in place to keep it from drifting too close to the gravity well of the system’s namesake planet.

This scene is playing out on the bridge of ISS Titanic&#160 as we cut to her bridge.&#160 The entire senior staff is on watch and in their places, eyes expectantly on Lord Darth Venomous as he takes in the grisly sight of Phoenix.

As Titanic&#160 closes, the communications board of Lt. T-Bone McManx pings insistently.]

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Admiral, we’re being hailed.&#160 Audio only.

VENOMOUS:&#160 On speakers, Lieutenant.

[McManx obediently flips the appropriate switches and brings in the signal.]

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE (over speaker):&#160 —unidentified vessel, I repeat, this is the New Republic frigate Nebulon, please identify yourselves and state your business.&#160 Unidentified vessel, do you copy?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Frigate Nebulon, this is Admiral D—uh, Admiral Venomous of the I—uh, starship Titanic, representing the Fourth Intergalatic Realm&#153. You’re in possession of one of my starships, and I’d rather like to know why.

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE:&#160 Ah. Admiral Venomous—Venomous, is it?&#160 We had intercepted this vessel as it was entering our space and were about to ask its business here when it suddenly exploded.&#160 We have no idea why.&#160 Our scans indicate there is life aboard, but we’ve not been able to raise them.&#160 Perhaps if you had some way of proving this is your ship…?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Nebulon, we have come a long way on account of our ship – which, by the way, is the Phoenix, if you must know.&#160 If you will kindly release it into our custody, we will be happy to take it off your hands and tow it home.

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE:&#160 I’m sorry, Titanic, but that won’t be possible without an investigation, inquiries must be launched, hearings held—

[As Venomous reaches out his hand, an intense scowl on his visage, the sounds over the speaker turn from voice to a decided gagging, choking sound.&#160 Venomous’ eyes have flashed with their dreaded purple glow.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Nebulon, I will ask this only once more.&#160 Let go of my ship?

[A few more moments of gagging & choking over the speakers, then the tractor beam is released from Phoenix.&#160 Venomous drops his hand, and we are treated to a series of gasps & wheezes over Titanic’s&#160 speakers.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 K’ha, get our own tractor on Phoenix&#160 immediately.&#160 Kor, I want rescue parties on that ship no more than five minutes from now, understood?

KORRIOTH:&#160 On it, Admiral.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Nebulon, as promised, we will take Phoenix&#160 and get out of the New Republic’s hair.&#160 I trust that will be the end of it?

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE:&#160 Wh-wh-who…are…y-y-you-you…???

VENOMOUS:&#160 I told you.&#160 I am Admiral Venomous of the starship Titanic, representing the Fourth Intergalactic Realm&#153, and that’s really all you need to know at this juncture.&#160 We will be on our way, and I strongly&#160 suggest you not try to follow us.&#160 Titanic&#160 out.

[Venomous collapses back into his chair as McManx silently closes the channel.&#160 His Rudeness is rubbing his eyes in pain as he subsequently rises.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Captain, you have the bridge.&#160 I’ll be in my quarters with a gallon of Theragen peach tea.&#160 Get those rescue crews on board Phoenix, and get some repair techs over there soon as it’s safe.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Aye, sir.

Fortunately, Denizens, the work box didn’t lose all that much, although the backup is about a year old.&#160 But it is&#160 back up & running, thank Cthulu.

However, I think it’s time to reimplement the old policy of re-doing all the machines here every six months, whether they need them or not.&#160 Had this happened on the Big Box&#153, I’d’ve been royally screwed.

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(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

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