Ten.
UPDATE:  Nine.
In late December, I slipped while in the middle of scratching an itchy ear.
With my car key.
MERLIN:  Ow.
KORRIOTH:  Doofus.
VENOMOUS:  Aah, whatever.
Didn’t puncture the eardrum, fortunately, but did scratch up the ear canal pretty good, to the point where I had to take a little extra care of it for a couple of weeks.
OZY MCCOOL:  You mean, like only scratching it with plastic  stuff?
VENOMOUS:  Hush, you.
However, that doesn’t even begin  to compare to what this dumb-assed Rooskie cop did.
Ladies & gentlemen, I give you…your  Darwin Award (oughta be) winner for 2010!
INVESTIGATORS believe a young Moscow cop died after scratching his nose with his loaded gun.
The Moskovsky Komsomolets reports the 23-year-old policeman, who was not named, was found under a desk with a head wound. The investigation ruled out a murder and there was no note that would indicate suicide, the paper said.
Ow.  Just, ow. 
The package is on its way.  And it’s what you requested, although I wish it could’ve been more.
It’d be nice if you’d at least let me know if he enjoyed it (the email link on the sidebar does  work), but that’s your call, not mine.