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Denizens, we have the Great State Fair Of Texas™ coming up – which, if you’ve ever been to one of these shindigs, means lots of rides, lots of “pin-the-tail-on-the-Demoscum” -donkey” type games, ferris wheels, whirly-gigs, turkey legs, sausage-on-a-stick, corn dogs…and everyone’s favorite:  Fried you-name-it-we’ve-got-it.

No.  I’m not kidding.

We’re talking fried Twinkies© (I blogged on that once, just can’t find it now), fried chili, fried Popsicles©, fried Oreos©…you get the idea.

This year’s GSFoT™ features, among other things, Texas Fried Frito Pie, fried lemonade and fried chocolate.

But you knew it was coming, didn’t you?  How did the saying go? “For every moment of pleasure, there must be an equal moment of pain”?  Well – here comes your pain:  A fucking busybody that just has  to spoil your fun by wringing his hands in angst and wondering if all these deep-fried fat grams, sugar grams and calories is (gasp, argh!) Gooooood Forrrrrrr Usssssss??!!?!!!!ONE?!

The top eight new State Fair foods — including Texas Fried Frito Pie, Fried Lemonade, Fried Chocolate, oh my — sure sound good.

But are they good for you?

I think you know the answer.

We conducted a nutritional analysis of the top new foods that debut later this week when the State Fair opens Friday. Here’s a look at our findings — this story ran on the front page of today’s Dallas Morning News.

And here’s a nifty chart highlighting the eight foods, with more nutrition details.

Y’know, I don’t s’pose it’s ever occured  to this dumb little turd of a tool that maybe – JUST EFFIN’ MAYBE – the people of the great state of Texas…oh, I dunno…DON’T GIVE A ROYAL FUCKING SHIT ABOUT WHETHER FAIR FOOD IS GOOD FOR US OR NOT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Seriously.  You’re at the freakin’ State Fair.  All a State Fair is  is rides, attractions and food.  And most of the food is deep-fried.

And we’re supposed to rend our clothing and wear sackcloth & ashes because we ATE TOO MANY SUGAR AND FAT GRAMS AT A PLACE WHERE THAT’S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS?!

Great Honkin’ Cthulu™, what a maroon. 

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