(Or, Never Mind The Dog – Beware Of Owner! (grin))
Mrs. Venomous is…uh, shall we say…reticent  around the preferred method of defense in the Realm™.
RAYEGUN:  Y’mean, she’s afraid of guns?
VENOMOUS:  A severe character flaw, I know.
MRS. VENOMOUS (with skillet):  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
MERLIN:  And you married her despite this?
MRS. VENOMOUS (with skillet): 
VENOMOUS:  Gentlemen, may I suggest you start running now?  I’ll finish the post whilst you save your asses.
MRS. VENOMOUS (with skillet):  Grrrrrrrr…
Anyway, the Department of Improvisation™ relates to us the story of this Florida couple who demonstrates to us that one doesn’t always need a firearm to defend oneself.
Things just didn’t pan out for whoever invaded 81-year-old Bobby Smith’s Jacksonville home Saturday afternoon.
In fact, you might say the robber got the point – literally – after the Korean War Navy veteran was through with him.
Smith and his caregiver used a pan full of fried potatoes and a pitchfork to drive the attacker away. A compact man with a close-trimmed gray haircut, Smith said he wasn’t scared.
“I was angry; I was upset; and I was as mad as all outdoors,” Smith said Wednesday. “If I’d had my gun, like I normally would have, I would have shot him because he was in my home. I don’t like people hurting my family or my home.”
Now there’s  Castle Doctrine™ for you.  Get the point?
ALL:  Ew.  Just, ew.
Now, if y’all will excuse me, I have a frying pan to actively avoid…