Posted by Darth Venomous @ 20:37
[SCENE: the bridge of ISS Titanic. Lord Darth Venomous has guided the dying behemoth out of Realm spacedock and sent it warping toward Parts Unknown.
Uh, m’liege – where are you taking her?]
VENOMOUS: Towards the sun, away from our civilization. Be rather rude of me to drop this fireball on a populated planet, now wouldn’t it?
[But, Admiral, how are you going to get off the ship with no shuttlepods?]
VENOMOUS: Not a problem. I just happen to have stashed the prototype along this course, just in case I needed it someday. (touches a control on a makeshift panel, aft) See? There it is now.
[As we cut to the viewscreen, there hangs in space the Prototype – in worse condition than the last time we saw her, if that’s possible.]
VENOMOUS: Computer – time?
COMPUTER: One minute, seventeen seconds to warp-core breach.
VENOMOUS: Okay, excuse me, Narrator…let’s see, prefix code…bring systems back online…
[On the screen, the prototype visibly comes to life, as Titanic comes ever closer, nearing transporter range.]
VENOMOUS: …bring the transporter online…
COMPUTER: (BREEEEEEP!!!) Warning! Warp-core breach, thirty seconds.
VENOMOUS: Okay, okay! Now…wait. How did you know I was out of shuttlepods, Narrator?
[On the viewscreen, from the upper left comes a string of energy that looks eerily like the Nexus gateway we saw in ST:Generations – only this one looks darker and more forboding.
The ribbon gets to the prototype first, slicing through it and destroying it instantly.]
VENOMOUS: Oh, shit.
[How's it feel, knowing you're not gonna get out of this one alive, you son-of-a-bitch?!]
VENOMOUS: WHAT THE FUCK…?!?!?!?!!!
[That’ll teach you to Force-choke Allan-a-dale, our union brother, you sanctimonious bastard! Suck it, wingnut!!! BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!!!]
[The poor, helpless right-wing prole looks into the camera as he finally realizes that no Force tricks, no lightsabers, no particle disruptors are gonna get him out of this one.]
[Cut to external view, as the energy ribbon, Titanic and her breaching warp core meet at precisely the same time. The explosion in space could almost be seen from Realm spacedock, so beautifully massive was it.]
NEXT: Welcome to Hell. How do you like it?!