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The SpatulaGoddess could use your prayers this morning, as she’s going in for a bit o’surgery.

That’s an order, in case you’d not guessed.

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Okay, Denizens, I’m getting a report from this blog that the Defense of Marriage Act has been declared unconstitutional…by a bankruptcy court.

This is the only report I’ve seen thus far – Prof. Jacobson doesn’t have it; Michelle doesn’t have it…hell, Drudge&#160 doesn’t even have it.&#160 Nor do I know the blogger very well, truth be told.

48-hour rule is most assuredly in effect.&#160 Stay tuned.

UPDATE:&#160 Looks like we have something resembling independent confirmation.

(JDSUPRA) Debtors were legally married under California law prior to the passing of Proposition 8. They filed a joint petition for relief under Chapter 13 of the Bankruptcy Code and the United States Trustee moved to dismiss. In a well reasoned 26 page decision

Well, I dunno how “well-reasoned” it is to go against the will of a majority consisting of seven million California voters – but hey, whatever floats the guy’s boat, hm?

the United States Bankruptcy Court for the Central District of California, Judge Thomas Donovan presiding, held, among other things, that DOMA did not meet the heightened scrutiny standard and would not prevent these two debtors from filing a joint petition and seeking relief as joint debtors under Title 11.

The Leonard article is a lot more in-depth, and is worth the time to read.

What fascinates me, though, is this blurb:

Perhaps reacting to the repetitive nature of this issue, Judge Donovan and his colleagues decided to go the extra step and tackle the DOMA issue head-on.

They produced a scholarly opinion, in which they gave great weight to Attorney General Eric Holder’s February 23, 2011, letter to House Speaker John Boehner setting out the Justice Department’s analysis of the constitutionality of Section 3 of DOMA. In that letter, Holder contended that discrimination based on sexual orientation merits “heightened scrutiny,” a standard of judicial review under which the challenged discriminatory law is presumed unconstitutional unless the government presents very strong policy justifications for it.

Furthermore, Holder opined that Section 3 cannot survive that standard of judicial review. President Obama, a former constitutional law professor at the University of Chicago, agreed with Holder’s analysis, leading the Justice Department to announce that it would no longer defend Section 3 against constitutional challenges, leaving it up to Congress to decide whether to intervene to defend the statute in particular cases.

However, until Congress repeals Section 3 or an appellate court definitively declares it unconstitutional, the Justice Department is bound to continue enforcing it, thus these repeated motions by the U.S. Trustee to reject joint bankruptcy petitions by married same-sex couples.&#160 (Emphasis mine.&#160 -Venomous)

So it looks as if, in the absence of a clear, definitive appellate victory by either side in the matter of DOMA, this bankruptcy court decided to be proactive and do it its own self.

Now, I’m no lawyer, nor do I play one on TV – but it seems to me that a bankruptcy court has absolutely zero jurisdiction over laws passed by any&#160 legislative body, let alone the highest one in the United States, no matter how&#160 many fellow bankrupcty judges sign off on it.

This is akin (though certainly not identical) to black-robed tyrant Maryann Sumi attempting to hijack the legislative process from the Wisconsin Legislature and assume a jurisdiction she clearly does not have.

An action which, by the way, got its ass kicked today.

Tyrant Donovan, et. al…take note.

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No, I didn’t watch the debate last night – I have better things to do with my time.

Like, say, watching grass grow.

But I’m reading this recap of the thing, and I’m thinking…we as a country are over $14 extra-ginormous-large (that’s “trillion” for you douchebags in the Church of the SubTarded) in debt; our economy is on the verge of complete collapse; we’re seeing, right before our very eyes, the beginnings of civil unrest; we have people entrusted to be our voice in Washington who would rather show their junk to 17-year-old girls while their wives are elsewhere – and we’re asking our presidential candidates whether they prefer deep dish or thin crust?!?!?

UPDATE: I forgot to add what may be the most important point. I had been considering tossing my support to Herman Cain after the first debate, but I have to completely abandon him after he answered the key question of the evening by saying he endorses Chicago style deep dish pizza over the New York, thin crust variety. Too bad, Herman. You were looking pretty good up until then.

Great.&#160 Honkin’.&#160 Cthulu.&#160

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(Hat tip Michelle Malkin, although I’m using Sister Toldjah and Patterico for the links.)

Y’wanna know just what kind of pussified douchebags the Demoscum are?&#160 ‘Specially the unions?

Here you go. This was taken at a Special Olympics event in Wisconsin.&#160 (Yeah…that&#160 Wisconsin.)

They’re such hate-filled pieces of shit that they won’t even let the special kids have their day.&#160 (And if you ask me, the special kids have higher IQs.)

I’d entertain a motion to hire out the Patriot Guard Riders to ride herd on these events, just to keep the union chickenshits from going all Westboro on events like this.

And if one of them just happened to “accidentally” cause a union pussy to flop face-first into the cement…wellllll, I’d be inclined to overlook that.

Say, with a beer in hand for the PGR guy.

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Payback is such&#160 a bitch, ain’t it, Miami?

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!!11!!!!ONE!!!ELEVENTYTEEN!!!1!~

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(Hat tip Ed Driscoll.)

Richard Glover is a pussified, Global-Wormening-Truther Nazi-wannabe type writing for the Sydney Moaning Hollered&#160 in Australia (yes, Little Dickhead – should pigs ever fly and you actually read this site, that spelling was deliberate.&#160 Sad I have to explain it, but you can never take chances with little one-brain-celled short-bus riders like you).

And I would just love&#160 to see him try this.

Surely it’s time for climate-change deniers to have their opinions forcibly tattooed on their bodies.

Not necessarily on the forehead; I’m a reasonable man. Just something along their arm or across their chest so their grandchildren could say, ”Really? You were one of the ones who tried to stop the world doing something? And why exactly was that, granddad?”

Really, Little Dickhead?&#160 Don’t suppose you’d wanna come up topside o’ the world here in Arlington, Texas, USA and try that with me, now would you, you dickless, nadless wonder?

Oh, but now&#160 that he’s gotten a taste of what we here topside think of his little “idea”…he ain’t so gung-ho about it.

After 25 years writing this column, I’ve had my first experience of an internet hate campaign.

What you call an “Internet hate campaign”, tosser, we like to call “put up or shut up”.

I, of course, have a different term for it:&#160 CSITMF&#153.

Which, Little Dickhead Glover, I really wish you’d do.&#160 Y’see, we’ve seen groups like Earth Liberation Front!&#160 and Greenpeace&#160 talk&#160 a good game – and in the case of ELF, actually actually try something when they thought no one was looking.&#160 And quite honestly, we think people like you are fucking cowards, unwilling to come out from behind your daddies’ hoop skirts and stand up for your so-called “beliefs”, preferring instead to have goon squads like the Ayatollah’s proposed “civilian national security force” to do your bidding.

We just want you guys to put up or shut up, is all.

So far, more than 2400 people, nearly all American, have emailed me. More emails come every time I hit the send/receive button.

Good.&#160 Proves there are at least 2401 cojone-laden patriots left in this country.

About 5 per cent contain threats of violence. Even stranger, quite a few threaten me with sexual violence. They say, in various forms, that they want to rape me.

Mmm, I’m not sure that’d be such a hot idea.&#160 Great Honkin’ Cthulu His Own Bad Self&#153 only knows what kind of STD’s would result from ramming anything other than a nail-infested broomstick up your skanky, swishy ass.

What wisdom have I drawn from the experience?

Very little, apparently, since you continue to blather uncontrollably.

Don’t put an email address at the end of articles.

Yes, do go back and hide behind that hoop skirt of your daddy’s.

Avoid travel in the near future to the American states of Arizona, Texas and Nevada.

Sound medical advice.&#160 You’re talking, after all, about places where even our six-year-old daughters could beat your piehole shitless.

And maybe, in a world of international publishing, learn to be clearer. The thing about tattoos was not meant to be taken as a serious suggestion. For those who took it as such, my apologies.

I think I’d take it as an apology if you’d just shut the fuck up and quit whining about how we don’t live our lives according to your personal dictates, and about what you’d like to do to us for committing such a (gasp, argh) capital&#160 crime.

But you’re a chickenshit libtard, so I’d have a better chance of seeing the sun rise in the west.

Asshat.&#160

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Newtie Gin-grinch’s campaign was put on life support today.

Top aides to former House Speaker Newt Gingrich have resigned en masse, Fox News has learned, imperiling the Republican’s 2012 presidential campaign at a crucial time.

Among the senior staff members Gingrich is losing are spokesman Rick Tyler and campaign manager Rob Johnson, along with other strategists. Insiders say Gingrich and senior aides were unable to agree on the direction of the campaign.

And from the looks of things, it was Calista that drove them away:

The problem was the wife. Aides to Newt Gingrich have resigned from his presidential campaign in protest of what they felt was a takeover by Callista Gingrich, the candidate’s wife since 2000.

The euphemism offered by departing staffers was they disagreed with Gingrich’s “strategy” for the campaign. Indeed, they did disagree. But it was a strategy – a part-time campaign, in effect – that Gingrich’ wife favored.

If you ask me – and I know you didn’t, but still – Newtie should’ve grabbed Calista by that $500-extra-large Tiffany’s necklace, shoved her against the wall, and spat two words into her face – two words that fully & completely demonstrate the folly of a part-time campaign:

“Fred Thompson”

Oh, but did Newtie stand up to hia li’l wifey?&#160 Not only no, but hell, no.

The last straw for the campaign staff was Gingrich’s decision to go on a two-week cruise in the Mediterranean, from which he returned on Tuesday. His advisers urged him not to go and take so much time from a campaign that was already in trouble. But his wife wanted him to go and she won the argument.

And he is about to learn what Mitch Daniels knows:&#160 When you let the wife be the head of the household, you lose your moral credibility to lead.

For his part, though, Newtie is putting the best face on it he can:

On his Facebook page Thursday afternoon, Gingrich assured supporters he remains in the race.

“I am committed to running the substantive, solutions-oriented campaign I set out to run earlier this spring. The campaign begins anew Sunday in Los Angeles,” he wrote, referring to a foreign policy address he’s scheduled to deliver Sunday evening.

Yeah, that’s some commitment, alright.

But now, Denizens, look for our governor here in Texas, Big Dick Perry, to jump into the race.

Two separate and reliable sources in Texas tell me serious preparations are being made for Governor Rick Perry, 61, to seek the Republican nomination for president.

Dave Carney and Rob Johnson – the former top Perry aides who on Thursday left Newt Gingrich’s floundering campaign – are said to be heading to Texas soon to join in on preparations for the run. I am told this is now “ninety percent likely to occur.” Additionally, Perry allies have begun holding meetings in the state and have been instructed to quietly reach out to contacts in early primary states.

This race has suddenly gotten a lot&#160 more interesting.

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This poll is almost as scary as one which shows Obama wining by a landslide.

From what little I have seen, a Romney presidency would best be described as Obamalite. The only real difference between the two policy wise seems to be that one is a Democrat, while the other is a Republican.

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(Hat tip to the Vicar, who would probably have blogged it himself, except I imagine he was busy yesterday.&#160 Not t’ worry, suh, we gotcha covered here. (grin))

Denizens, we’ll start your Monday with some good news for a change:&#160 The sun has come up in the West, pigs are flying, the lamb is laying down with the lion…and a bank has gotten its ass foreclosed on.

It started five months ago when Bank of America filed foreclosure papers on the home of a couple, who didn’t owe a dime on their home.

The couple said they paid cash for the house.

The case went to court and the homeowners were able to prove they didn’t owe Bank of America anything on the house. In fact, it was proven that the couple never even had a mortgage bill to pay.

A Collier County Judge agreed and after the hearing, Bank of America was ordered, by the court to pay the legal fees of the homeowners’, Maurenn Nyergers and her husband.

The Judge said the bank wrongfully tried to foreclose on the Nyergers’ house.

So, how did it end with bank being foreclosed on? After more than 5 months of the judge’s ruling, the bank still hadn’t paid the legal fees, and the homeowner’s attorney did exactly what the bank tried to do to the homeowners. He seized the bank’s assets.

And not only that, sportz fanz – for once, it got followed-through on.

Sheriff’s deputies, movers, and the Nyergers’ attorney went to the bank and foreclosed on it. The attorney gave instructions to to remove desks, computers, copiers, filing cabinets and any cash in the teller’s drawers.

After about an hour of being locked out of the bank, the bank manager handed the attorney a check for the legal fees.

“As a foreclosure defense attorney this is sweet justice” says [Nyergers’ attorney Todd] Allen.

Oh, you just got-to got-to&#160 got-to&#160 lurrrve ya SummaDat&#153.

Justice.&#160 Buford…T…Justice.&#160

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Nine years ago today, Alan K. Henderson got into this thing we call blogging.

It’s important to this Sith Lord&#153, because he’s the one that got me&#160 into it.

MERLIN:&#160 That’s right – blame everyone else but yourself.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Typical li…

[Venomous gestures.&#160 Both Merlin & Korrioth go flying into the nearest bulkhead.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Grrrr.

Anyway, happy blogiversary, Alan.

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Over the past 30 minutes or so, the Southern Command has experienced something rarely heard in these parts lately. Yes something so infrequent I had to get the R&D staff to scour the Intertubes to verify this phenomenon.

This what they discovered.

The following information was located at the Merriam Webster website and give us this result from their search engine:

1thun·der
noun \ˈthən-dər\
Definition of THUNDER
1
: the sound that follows a flash of lightning and is caused by sudden expansion of the air in the path of the electrical discharge

This search originated after several instances of said phenomenon occurred and so severely upset the force protection canines at the HQ Security Forces kennel that the kennel master got so worried he actually used the RED PHONE to contact the General. Upsetting indeed because the General was napping and DOES NOT take kindly to interruptions to his Sunday afternoon nap.

Since the R&D staff was already at work, I insisted they research any OTHER unusual occurrences that could follow said phenomenon and this is what they mutually agreed COULD follow the above mentioned:

1rain
noun, often attributive \ˈrān\
Definition of RAIN
1
a : water falling in drops condensed from vapor in the atmosphere
b : the descent of this water

If any further developments happen, be sure that we the staff of the Southern Command will promptly inform you. For now, you can return to your normal comings and goings.

ThatIsAll&#153

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For your weekend merriment, this came from LC ORWN, engine builder for Rottie Racing (link):

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing.
He was cruising along the beach in his Popemobile when he heard a frantic commotion just off shore
A helpless man wearing a New York Yankees jersey was struggling frantically to escape the jaws of a 25 ft shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with 3 men wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks side. The other 2 reached out and pulled the bleeding , semi-conscious Yankee fan from the water and using autographed Manny Ramirez baseball bats, the three Beantown heroes beat the shark to death and dragged it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned the men to the beach, ” I give you my blessing for your brave actions” he told them. ” I had heard that there was some bitter hatred between Red Sox fans and Yankee fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth”

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, ” who was that? ”

“It was the Pope” one replied, ” he is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God’s wisdom”

”Well,” the harpooner said, ”he may have access to all of God’s wisdom, but he sure doesn’t know anything about shark fishing..How’s the bait holding up?”

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Fox News is reporting (and Wikipedia, crappy source that it is, has apparantly confirmed) that Jack “Dr. Death” Kevorkian has died.&#160 (No word on whether anyone helped him or not.)

Good.&#160 Fucking.&#160 Riddance.

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I nominate these guys for Celebrity Deathmatch.

As long as they both lose.

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Apologies If I am stepping on anyone’s toes. I chuckle every time I watch this.

[Why yes, Vicar, I’ll be happy to fix it for you. You’re most certainly welcome, sir.&#160 &#160 -Venomous]

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