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Denizens, we’ll start this Bowl Edition&#153 of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 with an example of what happens when the rule-makers and the zebras that enforce their wishes get a liiiiiiiiiitttttttllllleeeee too anal-retentive.

When he raised his fist on his way to the end zone, Boston (Mass.) Cathedral High quarterback Matt Owens thought he was celebrating the score that would hand his school a surprising Super Bowl title. Instead, he was doing the one thing that could keep them from it: Earning a penalty on a play where there was nothing but green turf between himself and the end zone.

Taunting.&#160 They called him for fucking taunting.

As reported by the Boston Globe and Boston Herald among other sources, Owens was handed an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for raising his fist during his run to the end zone in the fourth quarter, a call which negated the touchdown and moved the ball back to the spot of the foul at the Blue Hills (Mass.) High 24-yard line.

[…]

The called back touchdown cost Cathedral the lead — had Owens reached the end zone without incident, Cathedral would have gained an 18-16 lead with roughly six minutes remaining in the game. A play later, the quarterback essentially cost his team the game, throwing an interception to Blue Hills cornerback Keith Gomes that paved the way for Blue Hills to run out the rest of the clock and seal a 16-12 victory.

All because a fuckheaded zebra – and a bunch of “aw, give’m a trophy just for showing up” helicopter parents thought a kid on another team that had also worked hard to get where they were was taunting their pwecous widdle babeezzzz.

Syphillitic sinkholes full o’ shit.

On to the football.&#160 It’s the Poinsettia Bowl in San Diego tonight, so that must mean it’s TCU.&#160 The 18th-ranked Froggies are a 10-point favorite over Louisiana Tech…

VENOMOUS:&#160 Vegas, are you sure&#160 you have that right?

VEGAS:&#160 Problem?

VENOMOUS:&#160 You mean besides a team that would’ve beaten Baylor if it had a dependable kicker, would’ve torched SMUT with an impartial officiating crew, and did&#160 beat a top-10 team on their Smurf Turf field only being a 10-point favorite over a team that couldn’t beat Hawai’i?&#160 Nah, not really.

VEGAS:&#160 (grunt)

Bet the house on TCU.&#160 This isn’t even&#160 going to be close.

Saturday night, the Dallas Cowgirlz get their first second shot at wrapping up the NFC Least when they host Mikey “Woof!” Vick and the rest of the Philthydelphia Beagles.

Wouldn’t really even bother me too much if the ‘Girlz lost this…as long as DeSeanna Jackoff finally took a beating.&#160 But this is the same buncha cowards that wouldn’t put a steel-toed boot to Bwandi Jackoff’s crotch the other night, so look for another embarrassment.

We’re back Sunday or so for the recap.&#160 Assuming, that is, that I’m not sawing logs from too much Christmas ham the night before…