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If the Guardian has this one right, it may be time to rethink the death penalty.

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Four.

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Finally.

Jim Hoft is reporting that Ron “Lunatic” Paul has finally (FINALLY!) given up the ghost.

Rep. Ron Paul of Texas said Monday he will not compete in primaries in any of the states that have not yet voted — essentially confirming Mitt Romney will win the Republican presidential nomination.

Mr. Paul said he will continue to work to win delegates in states that have already voted and where the process of delegate-selection is playing out. He said that’s a way to make his voice heard at the Republican nominating convention in Tampa, Fla., in August.

“Moving forward, however, we will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states that have not yet voted,” Mr. Paul said. “Doing so with any hope of success would take many tens of millions of dollars we simply do not have.”

Translation: “Mene mene tekel upharsin”.

If there is a Cthulhu, this will be the absolute last time we ever&#160 see the words “Ron Paul” and “presidential candidate” in the same sentence.

But then we are&#160 talking about the definitive blithering idiot, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.

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Five.

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(This one will stay on top all day.&#160 Look below for new posts – today only.

And HDD – I don’t wanna hear it, okay?&#160 I already know what you think of all this.&#160 This is more for me than for anyone else.)

(ED. NOTE:&#160 The following originally appeared in this space a couple of years ago.&#160 (Don’t bother clicking the link – it’s not there anymore, thanks to Internet America and their piss-poor bookkeeping.)&#160 I’m reprinting it now, with appropriate tweaks.

And Skip – my son, you may not understand this now, but the reason I’m writing this has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with why you not only don’t get to ever spend any time with me, but also why you (probably) haven’t received a birthday or Christmas present since 2003, thanks to your mother and your grandparents. (More on that later.)

And thanks to what they’re probably telling you about me, you might not even believe any of this – but it’s true, and I have the documentation to prove it.

I do love you, son.&#160 I realize your mother and grandparents will try mightily to persuade you that I don’t – but I do, very much.&#160 Someday – hopefully – I’ll get to tell you to your face.)

As most of you have probably figured out by now, this is my boy – or, as Denizen David Hartung has called him, “Spatula II” “Darth Viper”.

Hmmmm.&#160 “Prince Darth Viper”.&#160 Kinda has a ring to it. (grin)

(Side note:&#160 Certain excuses-for-humans in East Texas still&#160 don’t know how I got ahold of this picture.&#160 Bet it’d be a shock to them to know that some of their “friends” aren’t quite&#160 as reliable as they’d thought… (snicker))

Anyway, today’s his 10th birthday.&#160 It’s the latest in a series of birthdays I’ll never get to see.

It occurs to me that I need to again tell you guys what eventually happened with his (*hack, spit*) mother (*hack, spit*) not allowing me to see him.&#160 (Yes, I realize you’ve probably heard it all before – humor me, okay?)

That was resolved, and not necessarily for my benefit, either – but at the very least, neither will she&#160 benefit.&#160 In fact, if you get down to brass tacks about the whole thing, the real loser here is Skip himself.&#160 Anyway, here’s the story:

The divorce was granted October 17th, 2003.&#160 A visitation schedule had already been negotiated and agreed to – in fact, I’ve blogged on that already.

Picking the story up from there:&#160 I started making the specified trips to Greenville, Texas, for the purposes of collecting Skip for his agreed-to visitation with me.&#160 Collected evidence that I was there and everything.

Naturally, She Who Can’t Be Tasked To Obey Court Orders&#153 refused to show.

So I took my evidence and filed a criminal complaint against her.&#160 What is not commonly known is that it’s a criminal offense to interfere with child custody rights in Texas.&#160 It’s what they call a “state jail felony”, lodged right in there between a Class A misdemeanor and a 3rd-degree felony.

And, had the District Attorney of Hopkins County, TX, had the balls to pursue the complaint, things could have gotten very&#160 bad for our favorite fat-assed bitch.&#160 You tell me&#160 what school district would’ve wanted to consciously hire a convicted felon?

But – as I had partially expected and fully feared – the good ol’ boy network in Sulphur Springs kicked in.&#160 The district attorney not only sat on his hands regarding the case, but I strongly suspect he tipped off Steffi’s excuse-for-an-attorney about it.

Said excuse-for-an-attorney began to harass me concerning an obscure concept called a “transistion scheme”.&#160 Theoretically, because of the so-called “estrangement” between me and my son, they wanted to get him “used” to having me around again gradually, in stages.

Of course, they failed to point out that: a) Her Doublewide Assness caused&#160 any “estrangement”, and b) during the two times in 2003 this trollop was gracious enough to let me see him, he sure as Hell™ didn’t look&#160 “estranged” from me.

But something else&#160 they failed to do…is incorporate the words “transition scheme” in the final divorce decree.&#160 As a result, what was&#160 in there were dates specific and time periods specific when I was entitled to have my boy.

Dates and times specific which they ignored without fear of penalty whatsoever, as they had the district attorney in their back pocket.

Eventually, however, the evidence mounted to the point where they had to do something, else the DA would have no choice but to prosecute, lest someone in the media take note and launch an investigation (and yes, I was beginning to contact media types for just this purpose).

I was served in February with papers requesting that the judge in the original case modify the visitation schedule to include the words “transition scheme” and start with the gradual shit again.&#160 In other words, Denizens – she wanted a do-over.

I hired an attorney in Sulphur Springs (who, thank Gawd&#153, was more competent than the loon I’d had previously), paid him another&#160 year’s bonus, and got him to work.&#160 We filed a counterclaim accusing her of contempt of court by failing to abide by the letter of the original agreement.

They countered with the only thing they could’ve – and the thing I was hoping they wouldn’t:&#160 A contempt charge of their own for failure to pay support.

See, this loon I’d hired previously had assured me that the court would set up a garnishment schedule for the child support.&#160 Naturally – maybe this is the good ol’ boy system, or just sheer incompetence on their part – the court never set it up.

As a result, Steffi the Doublewide Bitch Supreme never got a penny from me.&#160 So yes – they had a case.&#160 Marginally.&#160 But it was&#160 a case, by the letter of the law.

This put me in the position of very likely being found in contempt of court, put on probation, forced to check in with a probation officer every month (and pay a $40 fee for the “privilege”)…and, were I to miss checking in or paying the fee by so much as one day, a warrant could be issued for my arrest.

By this time, I’m making plans to marry the Lady Spatula and possibly move to Miami.&#160 Therefore, I can’t have this hanging over my head.&#160 And I’ll be damned&#160 if I was going to let Her Bitchiness control me in this fashion.

With that in mind, my attorney recommended – and I was forced to agree – to deploy what I call the “nuclear option”.&#160 It’s so-called because it’s the option no one wants to see deployed, since it blows up everything.

The option:&#160 Complete termination of all parental rights to Skip.&#160 Meaning, I would no longer have any say in his upbringing, nor rights to see him any more…nor would I owe any child support, back or future.

My attorney explained it this way:&#160 All that it amounts to is just a sheet of paper.&#160 And whether I had rights to my son or not, Her Doublewideness would have him most of the time, and she & her family would constantly be poisoning his mind against me.&#160 This way, the bitch would lose her control over my life – and, after a few years, if he wanted to seek me out, she would be powerless to stop him, and I could then tell him my&#160 side of the story.

I deliberated for about half a nanosecond.

“Do it”, I said.

Termination – which the aforementioned loon in Forney, TX said I couldn’t possibly&#160 get – was granted March 30th, 2004.

So that’s it, guys.&#160 The bitch finally accomplished her objective – she forcibly extracted me from his life.

And it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even send him presents or cards any longer.&#160 They have become so fucking small-minded that Her Doublewideness’ fat-assed son-of-a-bitch daddy is even refusing to accept the presents I send to him.

(Most of them, anyway.&#160 I don’t get the rejection notices from Wally World like I used to, but who’s to say that the bastards over there don’t take what I send and just throw it in the trash?&#160 It would&#160 be just like them, if one thinks about it.)

No doubt the lot of ’em will lie to my son like they usually do and say that I don’t even care about him enough to send him so much as a card.&#160 It’s what I’ve come to expect from a bunch of country hick-asses who were willing to lie to a judge and violate other Texas laws to get such a simple thing as a divorce.

Enjoy him now, O Fat-Assed One.&#160 You’ll have a helluva&#160 lot to answer for down the road – and not just with him when he grows up, either.

Chew on that&#160 for a while, bitch.

Anyway, happy birthday, Skip.&#160 I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to enjoy the presents I’ve tried to send you.&#160 Someday – when they can’t dictate to you where you can go and whom you can meet – I’ll get to at least give you some of them.

Always remember son – I love you.&#160 And I will, forever.

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KORRIOTH:&#160 M’liege, a moment, if I may…?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Certainly, Captain.&#160 What’s on your mind?

KORRIOTH:&#160 You maintain that the current countdown has eight days remaining, is that not so?

VENOMOUS:&#160 That’s right, Kor.&#160 So?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Far be it from me to question your reasoning, Admiral, but…

[His Rudeness&#153 slowly raises one eyebrow]

VENOMOUS:&#160 This better be good, Bumpy.

KORRIOTH:&#160 …but Mr McCool & I, in going back over the archives, noticed that whereas Zero Hour&#153 this year occurs on a Monday, previous&#160 countdowns this time of year always occurred on a Saturday.&#160 We were simply curious as to what changed.

{Two and two come together in His Rudeness’&#153 mind as glowing purple eyes widen to near the size of quarters.&#160 He snatches Korrioth’s padd from his hand.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Gimme that…&#160 (scans the padd)&#160 Well, whaddya know?&#160 You’re absolutely, bang-on, right-on-the-nose right, Kor.

[The Klingon-Vulcan hybrid stands just a little straighter at the sound of his commander’s approval, then his own eyes turn into quarters at Venomous’ next words.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Nice work…General.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Uh…sir…?

VENOMOUS:&#160 A long-overdue promotion, Kor.&#160 This just confirms what I should’ve done a long time ago.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Th-thank you, m’lord.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Report to the quartermaster immediately and get re-outfitted, General.&#160 I’ll see that they expect you.

KORRIOTH:&#160 At once, Admiral.&#160 [He turns to go.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 …General Korrioth…?

[Korrioth stops short and turns.]

VENOMOUS (nodding):&#160 Nice work.

KORRIOTH (straightening):&#160 Thank you, sir.&#160 [He turns and leaves.]

VENOMOUS (muttering to himself):&#160 …Venomous, you senile old bastard…

Okay, then.&#160 Eight, seven, six.

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Denizens, as you know, I’ve remained decidedly mega-underwhelmed with the campaign of one Willard Mittens Romerrhoid for the office of President of the United States.&#160 And it’s not a state secret that I’ve declared my intent to bypass the presidential election in November.

That may be about to change.&#160 And this is why.

Businessman Frank Vandersloot, the CEO of Melaleuca, has been targeted by the Obama campaign after donating money to Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign. “Three weeks ago, an Obama campaign website, ‘Keeping GOP Honest,’ took the extraordinary step of publicly naming and assailing eight private citizens backing Mr. Romney,” Kim Strassel of the Wall Street Journal reported. “Titled ‘Behind the curtain: a brief history of Romney’s donors,’ the post accused the eight of being ‘wealthy individuals with less-than-reputable records.’ Mr. VanderSloot was one of the eight, smeared particularly as being ‘litigious, combative and a bitter foe of the gay rights movement.'”

The attacks are working. Vandersloot revealed in an interview on Fox News that his business practice is being hurt by the attacks from the Obama team.

“Those people that I know well weren’t affected by this [attack],” said Vandersloot. “But for people who didn’t know me, who are members of our business or customers, and they were reading this, then we got a barrage of phone calls of people cancelling their customer memberships with us.”

“Really?,” the Fox News host asked. “How many did that?”

“A couple hundred that we can track,” Vandersloot replied.

Vandersloot has also claimed (believably so) that these same chickenshits are stalking his children, calling them, demanding interviews with them, etc.

So what we have here is basically this:&#160 you donate or show any other types of material support to the Romney campaign, you get a target painted on your back and you get put on the intimidation list.&#160 Smears, rumors, harassment.&#160 All because you committed the CAPITAL FUCKING CRIME&#160 of daring to oppose Al-Obambi.

The message is clear:&#160 “Nice life you got there.&#160 Shame if anything were to happen to it…”

Might be time to make a donation, eh what…?

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Nine.

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Front & center, Steffi.

Skip’s present is on its way.&#160 It’s been sent to your attention.&#160 Might be a day or two late, but it’ll get there.

Do all of us a favor and let him actually have&#160 this one, mkay?

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Look at the calendar.

Now look towards the right sidebar.

Those of you who’ve been here for any&#160 length of time know what’s coming by now.

Ten.

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With all the talk about how the Ayatollah has just come out of the closet, LC George the Apocryphal Prophet over at the Rott has pretty much nailed it in one:

The real problem as I see it is the next item on the gay rights agenda: adoption.

Most people can agree that the state has no business dictating what two adults do with each other in private, and if they love and trust each other it makes sense to let them enter into a legal union similar to a marriage.

The fact remains though, that the human race perpetuates itself by means of sexual reproduction. It is a simple biological fact that what homosexuals do is not how babies are made, so they can’t have any children unless someone else gives them kids. There is a 97% chance that a given child will grow up to be straight, and therefore will be best served being raised by parents who attempt to exemplify the partnership of man and woman, because that is what will prepare the kids with knowledge of how to conduct themselves toward the opposite sex, and conducting themselves toward the opposite sex is 97% likely to be what they are going to want to do when they get older. I am not expressing any kind of hate toward gay couples here. I’m just pointing out that when it comes to adopting children, it should not be presumed that it is just as well to give a kid to a gay couple as a straight couple. Nevertheless you can count on the gay activist crowd to come unhinged at an argument like this and construe it as some kind of unspeakably vile hate speech. When it gets to the point where we actually should draw the line, will we be willing to do so?

Here’s a brainbender for the lefty crowd:&#160 Suppose they identify the ‘gay gene,’ and suppose they develop a treatment, injected directly into the gonads, that can eliminate the chance of having children with any of a wide range of genetic conditions, including homosexual inclinations. Should people be denied the right of reproductive choice to secure the future existence of homosexuals?

Bammo.&#160 (Well, except for the part about the “love and trust each other” BS – trust me, it may be many things…but it sure as Hell&#153 isn’t love.)

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Oh, snap.

(Hat tip:&#160 Former LENSnetter Bob Blaylock.)

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Cthulu help me, I do so&#160 feel sorry for the dad in that family.&#160 Had that been me, I’d’ve left a long&#160 time ago.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):&#160 WHAT?!?!?!?!

VENOMOUS:&#160 Take the hint, woman.

MRS. VENOMOUS (sheepishly):&#160 Yes, honey.

Seriously, Verizon.&#160 First “Susie” and her worldwide universal lemonade conglomerate, where there’s not so much as a sniff&#160 of parentage within a thousand miles (and why isn’t the precious little darling mini-diva in SCHOOL, anyway, hm?), and now this?

You douchetards really don’t&#160 want my business, do you?

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Item:&#160 Cher’s having a bad day

Reaction:&#160 Fine with me, Cupid Stunt&#153.&#160 Off yourself.&#160 (And take that…that…that whatever-you-gave-birth-to…with you while you’re at it.)

It’s not like anyone with so much as a quarter of a brain is gonna miss your skanky ass, anyway, y’know?

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(Hat tip:&#160 Krondax.)

This isn’t a terribly funny cartoon.&#160 (Sorry, Kron – it isn’t.)

But it is&#160 a pretty poignant commentary on just how far our society has devolved.&#160 The old nursery rhymes, designed to teach our children the language in a fun, whimsical way, now reduced to nothing more than “what shit are you smoking, dad, seriously”?

This country is being lined up for God’s judgement.&#160 And it will have wholeheartedly earned it.

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