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Three.

Four.

Denizens, OneOfTheseDays&#153, I’m gonna have a house again.

When I do, it’s gonna have a basement.&#160 And that’s gonna be my man-cave.

And these are gonna be the rules:

Taking donations now.&#160

Five.

Denizens, there’s no story for the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 – and I’m running short of time – so let’s get to it.

My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets, for the first time in recent memory, are not in the playoffs, so I can’t even do any “one-and_done” jokes.

Sad.

So now it’s off to find a “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) replacement.&#160 Fortunately, the old standby is in place – whoever’s playing Sulphur Springs at the moment.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Sulphur Springs?

MERLIN (whispering to Korrioth):&#160 …hometown of Her Doublewideness…?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Ah.

Right now, that’s Wylie East HS, and right now, they’re kicking the Wildcats’ asses all over the lot.&#160 It’s 63-21 as I write this, Wylie East having just scored.&#160 So it looks as if we’ll get one there.

Tomorrow, Bob Stoops and 12th-ranked Oklahoma will take their own potshots at what has become a sorely disappointing (to their fans, anyway) W. Virginia Mountaineers team – one that, at the beginning of the season, had bona fide&#160 visions of a national championship.&#160 I honestly expected WV to be better than this, but it turns out that the Mountaineers don’t have a defense this year.

Vegas has OU as an 11&#189-point favorite – and I think they’ll actually cover this time.

Elsewhere, UMinne-haha will get sacrificed to 14th-ranked Nebraska at Lincoln.&#160 Vegas has Bo Pelini’s bunch as a 20&#189-point home favorite, so Taylor might only play the first couple of quarters, who knows?

Bucky, meanwhile, is going to get its head handed to them by The&#160 Ohio State University, who just happens to be in Camp Randall for the weekend.&#160 The Badgers are a 2&#189-point favorite, but I don’t buy that for a second.&#160 Not with Braxton Miller playing.

Turner Gill’s Liberty U. Flames travel to Virginia for the last game of their season against the Keydets of VMI.&#160 The Keydets are 2-8, so I expect Liberty to not have too&#160 much trouble with them, especially after handling Stony Brook last weekend.

Sunday afternoon, the Dallas Cowgirls are at home to take on the Cleveland Browns.

Cleveland’s 2-8.

A very bad&#160 2-8.

Lose this one, Jason Garrett, and you may as well start packing.

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, my question for HDD is…does Bucky stand a chance against OSU?

Six.

(Hat tips:&#160 Hoft & Drudge)

First-time jobless claims for this week:&#160 439,000.

Inflation up.

Recession in Euroweaselstan – the second since 2009.&#160 Headed here soon.

Yeah, Demo-bastards…how’s that hopey-changey shit working out for youse?

Fuck it all.

Let God’s judgement rain down on this country.&#160 It’s earned it.

And that point would be “50”.

Denizens, in case you didn’t realize it (and if you’re on Facebook, that chance is next to zero), I turned 50 yesterday.

And, as you might expect, I am positively sick about it.

No worries – I’ll get over it.&#160 But I may be a bit more snarly for the next few weeks.

MERLIN:&#160 Oh…joy.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Aaaaah, shaddup.

Just sayin’.&#160

Seven.

Eight.

The people in Ohio said that if I voted for Romney, their food stamps would be cut back.

Dammit, they were right!

Ohio families receiving food stamps could get an unwelcome surprise come January: $50 less every month in assistance.

For the 869,000 households enrolled in the program for the poorest Ohioans, that could amount to about $520 million annually out of the grocery budgets.

Because of the way the federal government calculates utility expenses for people receiving the benefit, a mild winter nationwide last year, and a lower price for natural gas, many families could experience a significant cut in aid, those familiar with the program say.

Recipients should get a letter from the state Department of Job and Family Services this month explaining the change, said Ben Johnson, a spokesman for the agency.

Gee, I guess elections have consequences, after all.

Nine.

No, I didn’t watch it.&#160 I don’t have to watch if I know what’s gonna happen.

Arlington Heights 27, Granbury 31

at TCU 10, #2 Kansas State 23

at #12 Oklahoma 42, Baylor 34

at #16 Nebraska 32, Penn State 23

Wisconsin 62, at Indiana 14

at Liberty 28, Stony Brook 14

Dallas 38, at Philadelphia 23

Heights actually put up a pretty good fight before falling late against the Pirates.&#160 Shouldn’t be enough to save Todd Whitten’s job, but he can teach P.E. at one of the feeder schools, I imagine.

—

Turner Gill’s calling card is usually offense.&#160 But the defense did it for Liberty Saturday.

Nick Sigmon returned an interception for a touchdown as Liberty’s defense forced five turnovers in a 28-14 win over Stony Brook Saturday.

Liberty’s opportunistic defense in the second half led to the win. Sigmon intercepted Kyle Essington’s third-quarter pass and returned it 21 yards for the score, extending the Flames’ lead to 21-7.

—

Given up for dead a few weeks ago, Bucky may actually have a shot at the Big Ten title.

Montee Ball and James White put Wisconsin’s Big Ten title hopes back on track Saturday.

The two running backs ran for 359 yards and five touchdowns and Ball moved into second place on the career touchdown list, leading the Badgers to a 62-14 rout at Indiana and back to the Big Ten title game. Wisconsin finished with a school-record 564 yards rushing and crushed the Memorial Stadium record for an opponent — 441 yards by Michigan State in 1974 and matched by Northwestern in 1999.

That gives you an idea about the Big Ten.

—

I’ve told anyone who’d listen that, had the TCU & OU games been switched for Baylor last year, the Cubbies would’ve lost them both.&#160 Baylor caught TCU when they were inexperienced, and they caught OU last year when they were hurt.

OU’s a little healthier this year, and the results were a little better.

The Bears, who entered the game with the nation’s top overall offense and top passing attack, piled up 252 yards on the ground and became the fourth Sooners opponent to surpass 200 yards rushing. Florence had 83 yards and a score, to go with 172 yards on 12-for-33 passing with no interceptions, and Glasco Martin ran for 60 yards.

Some of what Oklahoma’s defense gave up was by design after eventual Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III threw for 479 yards — and Baylor racked up 616 yards, the most ever by a Sooners opponent — in a 45-38 win by the Bears last season that remains their only win in 22 meetings.

“The way you have to play these guys, to limit their passing big plays, you have to make them hand the ball off and hope you can come up with your third-down stops and fourth-down stops,” Stoops said.

Oklahoma’s defense was up to the task this time. Terrance Williams, the nation’s top receiver, had six catches for 91 yards — but that was 76 below his average. Florence also had a season low in passing yardage, getting held to 127 yards fewer than any other game this season.

—

In Happy Valley tonight, they’re bitching about a call that didn’t go their way…and shouldn’t have.

The turning point, according to Penn State, was a fumble in the middle of the fourth quarter with Nebraska leading 27-23.

PSU tight end Matt Lehman was ruled to have fumbled into the end zone before the ball crossed the goal line. Nebraska recovered, and the call was confirmed on video review.

O’Brien said he thought the ball broke the plane.

Oh, of course&#160 he did.&#160 And so does the rest of Happy Valley – even the jerkwads posing as Nebraska fans who say, “I’m a Husker fan, but…”

Taylor was a pedantic 12-20-171 with a score.&#160 Ameer Abdullah ran 31 times for 116 yards.

—

The Cowgirlz followed the Nebraska Husker Theory&#153 for success yesterday:&#160 Knock the starting quarterback out of the the game.

The Eagles were losing when Michael Vick left the game with a concussion, but [backup Nick] Foles was already a wanted man in Philadelphia because Eagles’ fans think Vick is too injury- and turnover-prone for a quarterback with four years left on a fat contract.

Foles had teased Eagles’ fans with strong performances in the preseason, and he threw a touchdown pass less than 10 minutes after replacing Vick. But he faltered later, and the Eagles fell apart to the Cowboys.

A punt return for a TD by Dwayne Harris, a pick-six by Brandon Carr and a fumble recovery in the end zone on a subsequent Foles sack sealed the game for Dallas.

—

Kansas State reminds one of the Frogs of two years ago.

Coach Bill Snyder’s Kansas State Wildcats have the stifling defense, the creative quarterback and the bountiful experience to get there.

He has a young, ever-improving defense but a depth chart of TCU underclassmen with some tough lessons to learn.

The Kansas State starting defense lists eight seniors and three juniors. The quarterback, Collin Klein, is a wily senior.

Remind you of anybody?

“I thought they were about like Wisconsin,” suggested [TCU coach Gary] Patterson, harking back to the Badgers team that the Frogs faced in the 2010-season Rose Bowl.

I’ll go, however, with a comparison that should be more familiar. With their savvy, experienced, Andy Dalton-like quarterback, the Wildcats resemble the TCU team that went 13-0 that season.

Agreed.&#160 Senior quarterback that makes almost no mistakes, talent at the skill positions, a suffocating defense.&#160 And&#160 they know how to wear purple uniforms.

Sigh.

TCU will be there, eventually.&#160 It’ll just take a couple of years, that’s all.

This week:&#160 5-2.&#160 Perfect Football Weekend achieved (Executive Fiat – Penn State loses to Nebraska (4)).&#160 Overall:&#160 44-25.

The PFW will return Friday or thereabouts, soon as I can find a replacement for my failed Yellow Jackets.

Yep, Denizens, it’s that time of year again.

Ten.

Thank you.