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Didn’t get a chance to watch much, Denizens, but I took one thing away from it all:

Kyle Orton is a better quarterback than “El Choko”.

Cincinnati 34, at Atlanta 10

Houston 27, at Minne-haha 13

at Oakland 19, Dallas 17

NY Football Douchebags 18, Pittsburgh 13

Beefalo 44, at Indian-hapless 20

Giovani Bernard ran for a touchdown, and Josh Johnson directed two second-quarter TD drives as the Cincinnati Bengals cruised to a 34-10 preseason-opening win over the Atlanta Falcons on Thursday night.

Bernard, a second-round draft pick from North Carolina competing for a significant share of the Bengals’ carries, played behind returning starter BenJarvus Green-Ellis and had 10 carries for 28 yards, including a 1-yard touchdown run. He added three catches for 16 yards.

DeAndre Hopkins caught a 34-yard touchdown pass for the Houston Texans in a 27-13 preseason victory Friday over the Minnesota Vikings.

The Vikings showcased their rookie wide receiver, too, during a flashy first half by Cordarrelle Patterson.

Hopkins, the 27th overall pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, had four receptions for 52 yards. Patterson, taken two slots later, caught four passes for 54 yards and returned the opening kickoff 50 yards.

Bills rookie EJ Manuel threw for 107 yards and broke a 13-13 tie with a 17-yard TD pass with 14 seconds left in the first half to lead Buffalo past the Indianapolis Colts, 44-20 on Sunday.

Manuel was solid, not spectacular in his preseason debut.

He finished 16 of 21 with a quarterback rating of 102.6 and wasn’t sacked though he was credited with a fumble after botching a handoff to C.J. Spiller, which led to a Colts field goal.

Once again, the Douchebags held on every damned play.

Once again, Vickie Cruz caught a touchdown pass from E-why the Woman.

And did his little mambo.

And once again, I found myself wishing I was an NFL linebacker, so I could target Vickie’s knees.

(sigh)

The Dallas defense looks like it might actually be good this year.&#160 It got another couple of turnovers.

Unfortunately, it showed once again that it’s going to have problems with fleet, mobile quarterbacks.

The Second Coming&#153 must be licking her chops.&#160 (Yes – I said her.)

Kyle Orton led Dallas to its first touchdown. El Choko had problems competing a screen pass.&#160 The running game continued to look improved from last year,and the light appears to have finally come on for Dez Bryant, which is good.

Now if they only had a quarterback who could get the ball to him.

We’ll see what we can do about getting another PFW in the can Thursday or Friday.&#160 See you then.

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