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You’re a star.&#160 A Big Man On Campus&#153, as it were.&#160 Have been since your college days.&#160 You have endorsements running out the wazoo.&#160 Hell, your endorsements&#160 have endorsements.

People worship the ground on which you walk.&#160 You don’t have mere stardom predicted for you – you have superstardom virtually guaranteed.&#160 At least two or three publications have already annointed you the greatest to ever do what you do, you’re that good.&#160 It’s only a matter of time before the championships, the trophies and even more accolades begin to flow for you like champagne.

You have it fucking made.&#160 I mean, we are literally talking set for freaking life&#160 here.&#160 You could live off the interest from the interest&#160 from your endorsements alone.

Moreover, all competition for your job has just recently been removed, banished to the dregs of the underworld of your industry.&#160 In short, you couldn’t script your life any better.

So what in Cthulu’s fucking name are you doing pissing it all away by engaging in criminal activity?!?!?!?!&#160 Why the Hell&#153 do you risk it all by doing something you know&#160 to be illegal???

Welcome to Hell, Michael Vick.&#160 How do&#160 you like it?

I tell you, Denizens, our society’s going down the tubes at warp speed.&#160 When people to whom we enjoy looking up – folks like Vick and Chris Benoit – begin falling by the wayside and letting us down, it’s bleak days for all of us.

(Incidentally, guys, while I said previously (and still say, for that matter) that I don’t think steroids as we know them had anything to do with this, the Benoit link states that Benoit had “steroid testosterone” in his system, as if testosterone is now some sort of anabolic steroid.&#160 Hell, I guess that means that I and the rest of the Right Side of the Blogosphere&#153 are at risk for ‘roid rage?)

They’re calling for a minimum one-year suspension of Vick.&#160 Sorry, but that’s too fucking lenient, IYAM.&#160 I’d be in favor of a lifetime ban for this.&#160 These allegations unequivocally point to a network of organized crime here.&#160 Perhaps not the Tony Soprano-type mob activity of which you & I think when we hear that phrase, but organized crime nonetheless.&#160 And to let Vick ever play in the NFL again would allow people to link the two – which is the absolute last&#160 thing the NFL should want.

PETA, much as I despise them usually, has it right on this one:&#160 Sack Vick.


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4 responses to “What In The Hell&#153 was he thinking???

  1. Robert says:

    [I don’t think so, Jack.&#160 You wanna advertise on this site, you can fucking pay me for the privilege.&#160 -LSI]

  2. Jack says:

    Let me get this straight.

    Benoit had TEN TIMES the normal level of testosterone in his system, but “don’t think steroids as we know them had anything to do with this”???

    You can’t possibly be serious.

    Also, I’d love to hear what you think about Ron Paul. He’s the only actual conservative in Washington. Would you vote for him?

  3. Robert says:

    [What’d I tell you, asswipe?&#160 (click, click)&#160 G’bye, fuckhead.&#160 -LSI]

  4. Let me get this straight.

    Oh, this oughta be good.&#160 Pass me the popcorn, willya, David?

    Benoit had TEN TIMES the normal level of testosterone in his system, but “don’t think steroids as we know them had anything to do with this”???

    No, I don’t – because testosterone, as we know it, is not an anabolic steroid.&#160 If it is,&#160 then are the Steroid Police&#153 going to come bust us all for possession of a controlled substance? (Most Demoscum excluded, of course.)

    You can’t possibly be serious.

    Well, to quote one of Benoit’s favorite lines…”prove me wrong”.

    Also, I’d love to hear what you think about Ron Paul.

    No you wouldn’t

    He’s the only actual conservative in Washington.

    What, did he not get the memo about the summer recess?

    Would you vote for him?

    No.

    Next question?

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