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You’re a star.  A Big Man On Campus™, as it were.  Have been since your college days.  You have endorsements running out the wazoo.  Hell, your endorsements  have endorsements.

People worship the ground on which you walk.  You don’t have mere stardom predicted for you – you have superstardom virtually guaranteed.  At least two or three publications have already annointed you the greatest to ever do what you do, you’re that good.  It’s only a matter of time before the championships, the trophies and even more accolades begin to flow for you like champagne.

You have it fucking made.  I mean, we are literally talking set for freaking life  here.  You could live off the interest from the interest  from your endorsements alone.

Moreover, all competition for your job has just recently been removed, banished to the dregs of the underworld of your industry.  In short, you couldn’t script your life any better.

So what in Cthulu’s fucking name are you doing pissing it all away by engaging in criminal activity?!?!?!?!  Why the Hell™ do you risk it all by doing something you know  to be illegal???

Welcome to Hell, Michael Vick.  How do  you like it?

I tell you, Denizens, our society’s going down the tubes at warp speed.  When people to whom we enjoy looking up – folks like Vick and Chris Benoit – begin falling by the wayside and letting us down, it’s bleak days for all of us.

(Incidentally, guys, while I said previously (and still say, for that matter) that I don’t think steroids as we know them had anything to do with this, the Benoit link states that Benoit had “steroid testosterone” in his system, as if testosterone is now some sort of anabolic steroid.  Hell, I guess that means that I and the rest of the Right Side of the Blogosphere™ are at risk for ‘roid rage?)

They’re calling for a minimum one-year suspension of Vick.  Sorry, but that’s too fucking lenient, IYAM.  I’d be in favor of a lifetime ban for this.  These allegations unequivocally point to a network of organized crime here.  Perhaps not the Tony Soprano-type mob activity of which you & I think when we hear that phrase, but organized crime nonetheless.  And to let Vick ever play in the NFL again would allow people to link the two – which is the absolute last  thing the NFL should want.

PETA, much as I despise them usually, has it right on this one:  Sack Vick.



4 Comments to “What In The Hell™ was he thinking???


  1. Robert — July 27, 2007 @ 12:51 am

    [I don't think so, Jack.  You wanna advertise on this site, you can fucking pay me for the privilege.  -LSI]

  2. Jack — July 27, 2007 @ 5:47 pm

    Let me get this straight.

    Benoit had TEN TIMES the normal level of testosterone in his system, but “don’t think steroids as we know them had anything to do with this”???

    You can’t possibly be serious.

    Also, I’d love to hear what you think about Ron Paul. He’s the only actual conservative in Washington. Would you vote for him?

  3. Robert — July 27, 2007 @ 8:53 pm

    [What'd I tell you, asswipe?  (click, click)  G'bye, fuckhead.  -LSI]

  4. Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant — July 27, 2007 @ 10:03 pm

    Let me get this straight.

    Oh, this oughta be good.  Pass me the popcorn, willya, David?

    Benoit had TEN TIMES the normal level of testosterone in his system, but “don’t think steroids as we know them had anything to do with this”???

    No, I don’t – because testosterone, as we know it, is not an anabolic steroid.  If it is,  then are the Steroid Police™ going to come bust us all for possession of a controlled substance? (Most Demoscum excluded, of course.)

    You can’t possibly be serious.

    Well, to quote one of Benoit’s favorite lines…”prove me wrong”.

    Also, I’d love to hear what you think about Ron Paul.

    No you wouldn’t

    He’s the only actual conservative in Washington.

    What, did he not get the memo about the summer recess?

    Would you vote for him?

    No.

    Next question?



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