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It’s the homestreach for the Perfect Football Weekend™ as we enter the bowl season in college football.&#160 Utah & Navy played in the Poinsettia Bowl in San Diego last night with the Midshipmen failing by three points to do me a favor and shut up the Baby Huey Ootes, 32-35.&#160 And tonight, Florida Atlantic “No One’s Ever Heard Of Us” University laid the wood to Memphis in the New Orleans Bowl, 44-27.

But tomorrow night is what I wanna talk about.&#160 The Dallas Cowboys travel to Carolina tomorrow to (presumably) lay a whipping on the quarterback-less Panthers – although I’d be wary of the rookie they’re starting, Matt Moore.&#160 Moore was one of the final cuts in Cowboy camp, and I was hoping they’d keep him – because he seems to have a Romo-like feel for the game, and a bazooka for an arm.

The C’boys are playing tomorrow night without Roy Williams, who was suspended due to Roger Goodell having his head up his ass.

People, lemme tell you something about this “horse-collar” rule they’ve got in the NFL now.&#160 Players have been tackling by the horse collar since the days of Methuselah.&#160 Sometimes ball carriers get hurt, sometimes they don’t.&#160 Football’s a contact sport, okay?&#160 Bodies collide, bones occasionally crack from the impact.&#160 As I noted previously, the interior cut-block, which continues to blow out linemen’s knees and end careers in some cases, is still perfectly legal, and taught by all 30 NFL offensive-line coaches.&#160 So why the pissy-faced angst over the horse collar?

I’ll tell you why – The Pussydelphia Beagles, that’s why.&#160 This half-assed excuse-for-a-franchise is the biggest bunch of tutu-wearing, sniveling bastards in the NFL – yes, even more so than the San Transexual Fairy Whiners.&#160 For only after a Williams tackle wound up breaking Widdle Terri Owens’ ankle a couple years ago did the NFL come up with the rule, ostensibly known as the “Roy Williams rule”.&#160 (And why Williams hasn’t yet sued the NFL for defamation of character, I can’t fathom.)

A couple years before that, if memory serves, The World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever™, Donna McCrabbs, blew out his knee on a tackle.&#160 Bammo – the NFL promptly instituted a rule about tackling at the knees.

The fact is that if this were any other NFL team, nothing would have been done.&#160 If one of our receivers had broken their ankle as a result of a horse collar tackle, it wouldn’t be a rule today.&#160 But because it’s the Pussydelphia Beagles, the biggest bunch of fucking crybabies in the league, that league has to attach its lips firmly to the Beagles’ collective ass and pacify its butt-buddies.&#160 Fuck you, Widdle Woger Goodell.

We’re back Monday or Tuesday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, a trip to Houston is on the horizon, about which I’ll tell you more next week.


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3 responses to “PFW:&#160 Biggest crybabies in the NFL”

  1. Daniel says:

    You have been tagged by Daniel J. Summers. Pay it forward!

  2. Whoston you say? Whoooston, he speaks?

    You shall be required to contact his Supreme Generalness ASAP!!!

  3. Robert Huntingdon says:

    I’m sorry spats, but your vitriolic nonsense above makes me sound downright mild-mannered and polite when complaining about the bad luck and bad calls that have affected my teams all year. Saying they changed rules because the Beagles are “butt-buddies” of Baddell is just plain loco.

    I agree he’s made some pretty piss-poor decisions, not the least of which was letting bellicheat off so lightly (especially when compared to how he came down on the Dallas coach whose crime in my book at least was FAR less serious) but this is just plain loco. For one, he didn’t make this rule, his predecessor did. Two, it IS an unnecessarily dangerous way to tackle. You can still bring people down from behind by getting a hand on their shoulder, their arm, their waist, their uniform pants, their knees, their ankles, pretty much every single other place except the back of the neck. Three, it’s not by ANY means the first time a rule was changed because of an effect on a single player. Or have you forgotten the “Carson Palmer rule” so quickly? I only wish that it had been the rule earlier, because then at least the evil stoolers would very likely have not made it by the bengals in ’05 (because von Oelhoffen or however-the-heck you say his name would *hopefully* have been a bit more careful about allowing himself to fall anywhere near the QB’s feet, assuming he was actually blocked as the ref claimed and that he didn’t actually dive at him deliberately as the recaps insinuate), and that would have saved the world from the embarrassment of the most evil team in football managing to steal a super bowl in a year they should never have even made the playoffs at all.

    Look I know you don’t like the Beagles. I don’t like them much either, especially after they got all the lucky breaks (again) in yet another game they shouldn’t have had the slightest chance in. But claiming that they got the rule changed because the league’s top management are their butt-buddies is just plain loco and way over the top, man.

    RH

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