Yes, Denizens - I know it's Cafe Press. Yes, I know that they're a liberal-owned company. Yes, I'm aware that the quality of their garments may not be quite as good as ThoseShirts.com.
But unlike ThoseShirts.com, Cafe Press ACTUALLY ANSWERS THE EMAIL I SEND THEM!!!!
Got clue, ThoseShirts???
Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)
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Warning: Emails are fodder for the blog. IOW, if you want your email kept private, you must tell me in the email.
Otherwise, it's mine to do with as I please, and if I want to use it on the blog, I'm perfectly free to do so.
You have now been warned.
A train set! Cool!
Thanks, Dad!
Thank you, Algore.
(snicker)
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Denizens, Your Obdt. Svt.™ (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) got about four hours sleep last night, and feels like crap tonight as a result.  We, therefore, return to the Grab-Bag™ and bring you this – again, courtesy of the Mothergoose in Denton.  Again, ’tis below the fold for your convenience.
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
“Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.”
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Okay, now how many of you are nodding yer heads?  
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4 responses to “ATM protocols”
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- _______________
- This blog is best viewed with your eyes.
- It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer
set about 1024x7681280x1024 with your Favorites windowactivated on the leftdeactivated. (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)
(KORRIOTH: Oh, great. More wormholes.)
Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice. -
You can use
Nutscrape,
if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?
And don't even get me started on Opera or Chrome. I'm not about to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
No wonder you go through women so quickly!
They all leave to avoid strangling you!
Grin!
Would the final shred of Geraldine Ferraro’s political career be over if she publicly acknowledged this?
Heck Alan, why not go one better….what would it do to Hitlary’s career if she admitted this?
Or 99.999999999% of the Whollyweird or San Frangaysco crowd???
Well, Hillary isn’t grabbing the third rails as boldly as Ferraro is.