Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:14
Well, Denizens, since the Texass stRangerS are getting their heads handed them once again  by the worst team in the American League (the annual July swoon is coming a little later than expected this year), and the C’boys are firmly ensonced in training camp…the re-launch of the Perfect Football Weekend™ couldn’t come at a better time.
For those of you who are new to this blog, here’s the deal:  During the football season, I follow the adventures – or misadventures, in some cases – of six football teams which I like, and chronicle their exploits here.  I then invite you to do likewise in the comment section of each PFW post.
This year’s PFW teams are as follows:
High school – (Fort Worth) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets:  The Yellow Jackets will once again be led by coach Duke Christian – which is a puzzle in itself as to why he’s still there.  Oh, well, as long as he keeps taking the Gold & Blue to the playoffs, I guess it doesn’t matter that they get their asses handed to them in the first round every year.
Don’t know any names of players yet, so I’m not sure if last year’s pseudo-phenom, Donnell Dickerson, is still even there (he might have graduated, not sure).  Hope to have more before their first game.
College: – Texas Christian University Horned Frogs:  Gary Patterson marks yet another year as the Tadpoles’ head coach, and brings back eight starters on offense and six on defense.
TCU’s fortunes this year will all depend on the cannon arm of sophomore quarterback Andy Dalton.  They’re gonna have to score a lot to win, I fear – the defense is once again undersized, but unlike last year, it’s also now inexperienced.  Let’s hope Dalton’s freshman-baptism-by-fire has tempered his abilities to a fine edge this year – he’s gonna need it.
College – University of Oklahoma Sooners – I’ve come to respect (and even admire) the will to win that is embodied in Bob Stoops.  Plus, he’s matured some over the years, and is a little more humble nowadays, which is good.
Stoops will bring back Sam Bradford, Jermaine Gresham and a cast of thou…well, dozens (grin)…as they try yet again for a national championship.  Or at least to not be embarrassed in their bowl game.
College – University of Nebraska Cornhuskers – SCBBS welcomes home the Huskers after a five-year absence.  Having deep-sixed Failed Bit™ Bill Callahan, Big Red made the hire it should’ve made five years ago and brought former LSU defensive guru Bo Pelini back as head coach.  As the defensive coordinator for the Huskers, Pelini got his players to run through brick walls for him, and doubtless he’ll bring that same intensity & passion to the offensive side, as well.
College – University of Buffalo (NY) Bulls – Turner Gill, former Arlington Heights & Nebraska quarterback, coached this motley crew last year to a 5-7 record (5-3 confernce, 4-2 division and a share of the division title) and a Mid-American Conference Coach-Of-The-Year award.  The Bulls are picked to finish third in the MAC East this year, and even received three first-place votes.  Not bad for a third-year coach.
As usual, we will give Turner the benefit of the doubt in his games, allowing them a little extra slack when it comes to the Vegas line.  This year, as long as the Bulls (when they’re the underdog) can hold the opposition to within 10 points of the line, that will count as a victory in the PFW.  (May do something similar with Arlington Heights, too – still thinking about that one.)
Pro – Dallas Cowboys – Wade Phillips led the C’boys to a 13-3 record and what should  have been a playoff win against the NY Football Douchebags and their pussified quarterback, E-why Manning.
This year, with a re-tooled secondary, the addition of Zach Thomas at linebacker and an even stronger DeMarcus Ware & Anthony Spencer, the ‘Boys should be favored to play in Tampa for Super Bowl XLIII.
Tony Romo returns at quarterback with the same offensive cast of characters – Terrell Owens, James Witten and Marion “The Barbarian” Barber, protected by a massive offensive line.
Once Adam Jones is reinstated to football, he will make a strong secondary even stronger.  (And when was the last time you could say “strong secondary” and “Cowboys” in the same sentence, hm?
Now, the rules for the PFW are simple:  All my teams which are playing on a given weekend have to win (or in Buffalo’s case, cover) for a Perfect Football Weekend™ to be declared.  As usual, I just care about my teams – I don’t give a flying fuck about your teams; that’s what the comments are for.  And participation in PFW threads are most welcome.
We’ll crank up things tomorrow for the Hall of Fame Game on Sunday.  (There may be more games on the toob; I just don’t know about ‘em yet.)  See you then.
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