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According to Hannity – well, he didn’t say this directly, but you can see the parallel – the Oscar ratings are mirroring the 2004 election.

While early ratings suggested that last night’s show was going to be the most-watched ceremony in several years, more comprehensive numbers indicate that the show lost&#160 viewers from last year.

Sort of like how the early exit polls suggested a Kerry romp – until we heard from Flyover Country&#153.

Okay, this Christina Rock diatribe can’t go unFisked, sorry.&#160 I didn’t watch (surprise!!!), so I didn’t see his distasteful little schtick.&#160 But apparently, others saw it and they weren’t impressed, either.

And, after reading his verbal flatulence, it’s not hard to see why…

Rock began the segment by comparing Bush to a clothing store salesclerk.

“Now just imagine you worked at the Gap,” he told the audience.

People who work for Gap still&#160 have more intelligence than you do, Christina.&#160 At least they&#160 know when to shut up.

“You’re $70 trillion behind on your register

You’ve got proof of that statement, fuckface?&#160 Evidence to conclusively prove that Bush and Bush alone&#160 ran up that debt, rather than demoscummic excuses-for-presidents in conjunction with imperial-socialist-leftist demoscummic congresses&#160 that didn’t run some of that up?&#160 Eh, Mr. Piehole?

Or is it that you pulled that number out of your ugly, swishy ass (yes, I saw Fifth Element,&#160 Christina, why do you ask?) like the rest&#160 of your bullshit?

and then you start a war with Banana Republic, cause you say they got toxic tank tops over there.”

Well in the first place, dumbass, maybe we’ve seen&#160 the tank tops.&#160 Maybe we’ve seen&#160 the evidence of the tank tops.&#160 Sunburns on the kiddies who wore them, maybe.

Then maybe we saw that Banananananana Republic didn’t quite get rid of all their tank tops.&#160 Maybe left one or two there that they forgot about.

Eh, shithead?

“You have the war, people are dying – a thousand GAP employees are dead. That’s right – bleeding all over the khakis.

While at the same time, skanks like you over at the local K-mart are whining in angst because you were expecting a lot more,&#160&#160 and you can’t understand for the life of you why our side is winning&#160 and your side is losing&#160 – eh, shit-for-brains?

Or maybe those GAP&#160 employees understand that dying might actually be part of the job description, yet they still want to go over there!&#160&#160 In fact, some of them, even after coming home hurt & injured, wanna go back ASAP so they can help their buddies!!!

Sucks to be an asshat like you, doesn’t it, Christina?

You finally take over Banana Republic and you find out they never made tank tops in the first place.”

Or maybe, out of the corner of your eye, you notice that Old Navy is sitting there, snickering, hoping that no one will notice what they have in their stockroom, eh, fuckhead?

If the Tinseltown audience was offended, it certainly did show it. Rock’s Iraq war joke was greeted by howls of approval.

Small wonder, therefore, that Flyover Country punched out and watched something else, isn’t it?

Fuckin’ asshat…

UPDATE:&#160 LC & Denizen The_Scribe advises that the Fifth Element&#160 flamer wasn’t Chris Rock, but in fact Chris Tucker.

Coulda fooled me; they sound exactly the same.&#160 :-/


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11 responses to “Oscars ellipsi…”

  1. MaxMomFL says:

    Ooo, that guy burns me. I’ve loathed his weasely hate-pimping ways for years now. Every comment he makes in “jest” no matter the issue or circumstance shows his utter vacuous ness and contempt for morality.

    BTW, your comment box is difficult to navigate, as I cannot see what the first three boxes are meant to contain. The descriptive text around them does not show. I’ll just guess then.

    Your Pal,
    MaxMomFL

  2. The_Scribe says:

    yeah, the text here is black, which of course blends perfectly with the background.

    Umm… Second?

  3. The_Scribe says:

    Now, as for the actual post:
    Chris Rock wasn’t in fifth Element, that was another dude.

    Chris Rock is a jackass, and he’s a successful Jackass… I remember there was someone else who was called America’s funniest comedian, and I never had any problems (other then her sexual orientation, but that’s her business) with Elene D.

    He also made fun of Barbershop and other location named black movies, which in my opinion is a movie that deserves a freaking Oscar.

  4. LC Wil says:

    Text in the comment section is kinda hard to read, being BLACK ON BLACK and all…

    Good Fisk, though..

  5. LC Wil says:

    thankew!

  6. Chris Rock wasn’t in fifth Element, that was another dude.

    You sure about that?&#160 I coulda sworn that was him – same slight build, same annoying high-pitched whiny-assed voice, everything…?

  7. The_Scribe says:

    Yup, quite positive, That was Chris Tucker I’m pretty sure… same guy who was in Rush Hour.

    Don’t feel too bad, Hollywood only has two black acting roles: Comic relief and Slave/servant

    very, very few exceptions, the amazing thing is when there is an exception, they win an oscar garunteed.

  8. MaxMomFL says:

    Hollywood only has two black acting roles: Comic relief and Slave/servant

    You forgot “gangsta”.

    Chris Tucker is infinitely less annoying than Chris Rock, even with the whinier higher-pitched voice. He has a cuddly quality, which is why he worked so well with Jackie Chan.

    Chris Rock however, utterly ruined Lethal Weapon 2 or 3 (or whatever number they were on at the time) for me. He was just there to spew his usual self-important diatribes from his “comic” routines, which they dumped into the context of the movie (with the subtlety of a Caterpillar D400). I just wanted to smack his snarky little face every time it popped up on the screen.

    My opinions only, but I’m right dammit,
    MaxMomFL

  9. The_Scribe says:

    Chris Rock has had one great role in my opinion, and that was when he played a Crack Addict. He fits the bill so well for an angry black man that the role of Crack head just fit right in… not to mention he played that role really well.

    Seriously, I think the movie was New Jack City, he had the ashy lips and everything…

    Chris Rock was also pretty good in Dogma where he played the apostle who was angry that he hadn’t been included in the bible because he was black. He had some pretty good lines in that one, mostly because I think the director forced him to stay an actor and not a comic.

    Chris Rock in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back wasn’t too great at all… he played an irrate (and paranoid) director.

    Of all the black actors out in the world today I think I like Sam Jackson the most, followed closely by Dave Chapelle… because they can laugh and joke about their image. I hear Samuel actually had “B.M.F.” engraved on his Lightsaber (not to mention he had the only unique color).

  10. LC The_Scribe says:

    Since you refered to me as such, I suppose I ought to try it out and at least see how it looks on me.

  11. Denise says:

    Scribe, you listed some really good black actors there, but you forgot a couple. Sidney Poitier and Morgan Freeman are both excellent older actors, and Wesley Snipes is a fine younger actor.

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