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As we hatch another Perfect Football Weekend™, I want to point your attention back to last week’s drubbing by OU on TCU.

The Sooners’ starting left tackle, Phil Loadholt, goes 6’8″, 337.  (Yeah, and I’m Brad Pitt.)  TCU’s Matt Panfil – who’s supposed  to be our starting defensive end, but would be no more than a linebacker in a major  college program – goes 6’2″, 242.

Soaking wet.

Patterson, you have  to get bigger across the front.  BYU & Utah are gonna run right over you if you don’t.

Fortunately (and here’s where we segue), they don’t have to worry about that this week, as San Diego State provides the perfect sacrificial lamb for our Tadpoles tomorrow night.  They play us close out there, but the Aztecs’ only visit here was a 52-0 massacre back in ’06.  I don’t expect a squash tomorrow, but I do  expect a win.  If Patterson has his team as focused as I think he will, it is not  a good time to be San Diego State.

Top-ranked Oklahoma, meanwhile, celebrates its coronation as college football’s newest #1 team by going down to Waco and destroying Baylor.  Weird thing about the Bears – they give up an average of 37 points last year, then go fire Guy Morriss and hire noted offensive  mastermind Art Briles from the University of Outer Rim Houston.

KORRIOTH:  I hope we have the sheilds to stop the glut of transphasic torpedoes Rayegun’s gonna try and hit you with.

VENOMOUS:  He has to get the launchers un-waterlogged first.  I think we’re okay for now. 

Also Saturday, Nebraska’s defense gets to find out whether or not any of Bo Pelini’s instruction has taken hold, as fourth-ranked Missouri and Heisman favorite Chase Daniel come to Lincoln to throw the ball all over the lot.  Nebraska’s a 10½ home dog, so that should tell you something about their  chances.

Sunday, Chad Ocho Cinco Ocho Stinko Ocho Psycho Johnson, Carson Palmer, T.J. Houshushushushushushu…

MERLINADMIRAL!!!

…mandzadeh and the winless (thus far) Cincinnati Bengals bring their act to Texas Stadium to take on the C’boys.  If the ‘Boys play excuse-me football like they did last week against the Foreskins, it’ll be a second straight loss.  And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Lessee…hmmmm…I seem to be forgetting somebody…

T-BONE MCMANX:  Heights.

VENOMOUS:  Ah.  Thank you, T-Bone.

Friday night, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets take on the O.D. Wyatt Chaparrals.  Wyatt thumped Polytechnic last week – but then, pretty much everyone thumps Polytechnic.  Should be a win.

Oh, and UBuffalo’s off this week.

We’re back Monday with the recap, as usual.  In the meantime, perhaps HDD will explain to us why Bucky is only a 2½ home dog to Ohio State…?



3 Comments to “PFW:  Size matters”


  1. HDD — October 3, 2008 @ 5:00 pm

    Bucky is a 2 point ‘dog to the Buckeyes of an Ohio State ‘University’ because an Ohio State is still an Ohio State, and sometimes, they forget that they’re allowed to lose Big Ele…err…Ten games.

    I have a theory that it takes 30 years or so of nearly continuous excellence to establish a winning tradition at a college. When a team has been so good, for so long, they start to forget that they’re even allowed to lose. And, trust me, not being aware of the possibility of losing is an almost insurmountable obstacle for their opponents to overcome. An Ohio State University is a team that has been so good, for so long, that losing is an event to them. It doesn’t happen. At least, not to mortal teams. Sure, an Ohio State lost to the Condoms of USC earlier this year, and have been blown off the field by a string of SEC teams in a succession of bowl games. BUT, those teams were the best the rest of the nation had to offer. Great teams expect to lose to other great teams every now and them. Against mere mortals? It’s not even possible.

    Bucky is about halfway to that “so good for so long” mark. They’re a threat to the great teams, and the great teams have to prepare for Bucky. BUT, Bucky still enters every game with the knowledge that *this* game can be lost. An Ohio State enters this game thinking “As long as we’re an Ohio State, we’ve won the game before it starts.”.

    But, an Ohio State has had problems this year. They don’t look quite as unstoppable as they have in years past, and they’ve really struggled against really mediocre competition. Plus, Camp Randall is a HOSTILE stadium to play in. The fans are smart, they’ve got the players back, and they’re just barely this side of “ravenous wolf in a herd of lame sheep” on the social skills chart. (for entertainment purposes, go to YouTube, and check out some of the videos of the student section…yes, there a quite a few)

    What may tip the balance in this game is that an Ohio State has yet to face as powerful of a running game as Bucky’s. PJ Hill has been described as “an SUV with no turn signals”, and frosh John Clay ain’t much smaller.

    Bucky still has a suspect defense, with suspect defensive play-calling, and an Ohio State can still run the ball, and is still a physical, punishing defense. But, Bucky don’t lose at home often, and I don’t see that trend ending.

    I’ll take Bucky and the points.

  2. HDD — October 3, 2008 @ 10:04 pm

    OH NO! It’s over! The game is already over! The Badgers will lose!

    For the first time in a bajillion years (and yes, that’s a technical term), the Badger’s marching band won’t be prowling the sidelines or stadium.

    If I still lived in Madison, and had tickets to the game, I’d seriously contemplate asking for my money back. A Bucky home game without the band isn’t a home game. Heck, it’s barely a game.

  3. Supreme General Rayegun — October 4, 2008 @ 2:43 pm

    [In the Battlestaff Room of Southern Command HQ]

    SG RAYEGUN: Did he say what I thought he said? Elltee, transcript NOW!

    LT. JACKSON (Base Communications Officer): General, it’s confirmed. He said, and I quote:

    VENOMOUS: He has to get the launchers un-waterlogged first. I think we’re okay for now.

    SG RAYEGUN: Capt. Cater, let us IMPRESS on the Pegasus that our launchers are NOT waterlogged. Load launchers ONE through FOUR with the new mutagenic missiles. Elltee, get me Col. O’Neall on the Oddysius.

    Carter: Sir, but those missiles were outlawed by the Second Kittamer Accords.

    SG RAYEGUN: Damn the Accords, full missile spread.

    COL. JACK O’NEALL O’Neall here, you requested me sir?

    SG RAYEGUN: Colonel, find the Pegasus and hand-deliver that package to our friends. Report back once delivery has been made and what (if any) response is given.

    COL. O’NEALL Understood sir. Anything else?

    SG RAYEGUN: Yes, as a matter of fact there is. EXTREME PREJUDICE is authorized if the situation calls for it Colonel.

    COL. O’NEALL Understood sir. With your leave.

    SG RAYEGUN: Dismissed.

    Let’s see if Venomous enjoys THAT one……



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