Posted by Darth Venomous @ 7:00
As we hatch another Perfect Football Weekend, I want to point your attention back to last week’s drubbing by OU on TCU.
The Sooners’ starting left tackle, Phil Loadholt, goes 6’8″, 337. (Yeah, and I’m Brad Pitt.) TCU’s Matt Panfil – who’s supposed to be our starting defensive end, but would be no more than a linebacker in a major college program – goes 6’2″, 242.
Patterson, you have to get bigger across the front. BYU & Utah are gonna run right over you if you don’t.
Fortunately (and here’s where we segue), they don’t have to worry about that this week, as San Diego State provides the perfect sacrificial lamb for our Tadpoles tomorrow night. They play us close out there, but the Aztecs’ only visit here was a 52-0 massacre back in ’06. I don’t expect a squash tomorrow, but I do expect a win. If Patterson has his team as focused as I think he will, it is not a good time to be San Diego State.
Top-ranked Oklahoma, meanwhile, celebrates its coronation as college football’s newest #1 team by going down to Waco and destroying Baylor. Weird thing about the Bears – they give up an average of 37 points last year, then go fire Guy Morriss and hire noted offensive mastermind Art Briles from the University of
Outer Rim Houston.
KORRIOTH: I hope we have the sheilds to stop the glut of transphasic torpedoes Rayegun’s gonna try and hit you with.
VENOMOUS: He has to get the launchers un-waterlogged first. I think we’re okay for now.
Also Saturday, Nebraska’s defense gets to find out whether or not any of Bo Pelini’s instruction has taken hold, as fourth-ranked Missouri and Heisman favorite Chase Daniel come to Lincoln to throw the ball all over the lot. Nebraska’s a 10½ home dog, so that should tell you something about their chances.
Ocho Cinco Ocho Stinko Ocho Psycho Johnson, Carson Palmer, T.J. Houshushushushushushu…
…mandzadeh and the winless (thus far) Cincinnati Bengals bring their act to Texas Stadium to take on the C’boys. If the ‘Boys play excuse-me football like they did last week against the Foreskins, it’ll be a second straight loss. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
Lessee…hmmmm…I seem to be forgetting somebody…
T-BONE MCMANX: Heights.
VENOMOUS: Ah. Thank you, T-Bone.
Friday night, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets take on the O.D. Wyatt Chaparrals. Wyatt thumped Polytechnic last week – but then, pretty much everyone thumps Polytechnic. Should be a win.
Oh, and UBuffalo’s off this week.
We’re back Monday with the recap, as usual. In the meantime, perhaps HDD will explain to us why Bucky is only a 2½ home dog to Ohio State…?
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