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Denizens, we’ll start the final Perfect Football Weekend&#153 of the season by noting that the Dallas C’girlz kicked the asses of the New York Football Douchebags, 20-8 – only to lose to a Baltimore team that isn’t that great, 33-24.

(Yes, I said “isn’t that great”.&#160 Seriously, when was the last time some team just up and smacked Ray “Unindicted Criminal Thug” Lewis in the mouth?&#160 It can&#160 be done, y’know.&#160 (For that matter, when was the last time the C’girlz smacked anyone&#160 in the mouth???))

Anyway, they count, so the overall is now 59-18.

Let’s get to it.&#160 Tonight is the rematch of the 2003 Fort Worth Bowl, as Gary Patterson’s 11th-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs play the ninth-ranked Broncos of Boise State Smurf Turf State in the Poinsettia Bowl.&#160 TCU will be without starting lineback Robert Henson (academics), but the Smurfs will be without their precious Smurf Turf&#153, so let’s call it even.

Sunday, the C’girlz go to the City of Brotherly Shove to play the Phuckadelphia Beagles and The World’s Greatest Previously Benched Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever&#153, Donna McCrabbs.

This is a de facto&#160 playoff game for Dallas.&#160 If the ‘Girls win, they play on.&#160 If they lose, they go home and the cries for Coach Cupcake’s head on a platter get louder.

Damn, what a dilemma.

Thursday, January 1, Bo Pelini & the Nebraska Cornhuskers take on the Clemson Tigers in the Gator Bowl.&#160 One hopes that Nebraska hasn’t forgotten how to play in a bowl game – under Pelini, this isn’t going to be the last one.

Saturday, January 3, Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls travel to Canorkistan, uh, Canada, to take on the Connecticut Huskies

UConn’s previous football distinction was being the first team to lose to post-death-penalty SMUT.&#160 Look for them to repeat that against the Bulls.

And finally, on Thursday, January 8, Bob Stoopes and the top-ranked Oklahoma Sooners play for the national championship against former Heisman winner Timmy Tebow and the 2nd-ranked Florida Gators.&#160 It’ll be Guaranteed Loss Night&#153, because OU can’t keep up with the speedier SEC even when healthy – and the Sooners are definitely not&#160 healthy (they’re missing RB DeMarco Murray and DT DeMarcus Granger, among others).&#160 Look for a Florida romp here.

(Oh, and by the way – TU Shortdick fans? 39-33, dipshits.)

Recap and benediction will come on January 9th or shortly thereafter.

In the meantime, Bucky plays its bowl game on Saturday as they take on the Florida State Seminoles in the Champs Sports Bowl.&#160 Which leads me to ask HDD – which is worse:&#160 A bowl named after a city/state, or one named after a business?

1 Comment to “PFW:&#160 Bowl edition”

  1. HDD — December 24, 2008 @ 3:14 pm

    Oh, it is FAR better to play in a bowl named after a company than a city or state, because the company bowl has a sponsor. The city or state bowl is basically crying out “Help! We’re such an insignificant event in even the minor scheme of things that we can’t find anyone who is willing to attach their name to our event!”

    The Seminoles of Florida State beat Bucky, by 20. A better-than-expected team on the way up playing against a worse-than-expected team on the way down? It’s going to get ugly, and fast.

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