Posted by Darth Venomous @ 18:40
Denizens, we’ll start the final Perfect Football Weekend of the season by noting that the Dallas C’girlz kicked the asses of the New York Football Douchebags, 20-8 – only to lose to a Baltimore team that isn’t that great, 33-24.
(Yes, I said “isn’t that great”. Seriously, when was the last time some team just up and smacked Ray “Unindicted Criminal Thug” Lewis in the mouth? It can be done, y’know. (For that matter, when was the last time the C’girlz smacked anyone in the mouth???))
Anyway, they count, so the overall is now 59-18.
Let’s get to it. Tonight is the rematch of the 2003 Fort Worth Bowl, as Gary Patterson’s 11th-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs play the ninth-ranked Broncos of
Boise State Smurf Turf State in the Poinsettia Bowl. TCU will be without starting lineback Robert Henson (academics), but the Smurfs will be without their precious Smurf Turf, so let’s call it even.
Sunday, the C’girlz go to the City of Brotherly Shove to play the Phuckadelphia Beagles and The World’s Greatest Previously Benched Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever, Donna McCrabbs.
This is a de facto playoff game for Dallas. If the ‘Girls win, they play on. If they lose, they go home and the cries for Coach Cupcake’s head on a platter get louder.
Damn, what a dilemma.
Thursday, January 1, Bo Pelini & the Nebraska Cornhuskers take on the Clemson Tigers in the Gator Bowl. One hopes that Nebraska hasn’t forgotten how to play in a bowl game – under Pelini, this isn’t going to be the last one.
Saturday, January 3, Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls travel to
Canorkistan, uh, Canada, to take on the Connecticut Huskies
UConn’s previous football distinction was being the first team to lose to post-death-penalty SMU
T. Look for them to repeat that against the Bulls.
And finally, on Thursday, January 8, Bob Stoopes and the top-ranked Oklahoma Sooners play for the national championship against former Heisman winner Timmy Tebow and the 2nd-ranked Florida Gators. It’ll be Guaranteed Loss Night, because OU can’t keep up with the speedier SEC even when healthy – and the Sooners are definitely not healthy (they’re missing RB DeMarco Murray and DT DeMarcus Granger, among others). Look for a Florida romp here.
(Oh, and by the way – TU Shortdick fans? 39-33, dipshits.)
Recap and benediction will come on January 9th or shortly thereafter.
In the meantime, Bucky plays its bowl game on Saturday as they take on the Florida State Seminoles in the Champs Sports Bowl. Which leads me to ask HDD – which is worse: A bowl named after a city/state, or one named after a business?
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