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Yes, ’tis true – the Dallas C’girlz did not go to the Super Bowl this year.

Then again, neither did Bwandi Jackoff and the NY Football Douchebags.&#160 And as of now, neither did the Phuckadelphia Beagles and The World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever&#153, Donna McCrabbs.

That’s right, sportz fanz.&#160 Fat-Assed Wilma’s crybaby boy is shut out yet again.

And yours truly couldn’t be happier.&#160 &#160


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9 responses to “Maybe they need to bench Donna again… (snicker)”

  1. HDD says:

    What’s funny is that the betting line went heavily towards the Iggles, even though they hadn’t played all that well in their last three games. The Cowgirls were inventing ways to give the ball to the Iggles, Minnesota did everything they could to keep the ball out of the best player on the field’s hands (that would their own running back, Adrian Peterson), and giving the ball to TAINT (Td After INT) Jackson, and Eli Manning *finally* had his “Wait a minute! I’m Eli Manning! I suck at this game!” moment.

    In other words, Filthy’s last three opponents all but handed the game to them on a silver platter. Believe it or not, but, the Cactus Wrens of Arizona actually showed up to play today. As soon as the Iggles ran into a team that actually played football, they were destined to lose. Remember, this is the same Iggles team that managed to eke out a hard-fought tie…with the Bungles.

    For the record, the Steelers-Ravens game was, easily, the most violent game I’ve ever listened to. As near as I could tell, each team seemed to be convinced that the scoreboard kept track of Kills. Man, that was nasty.

  2. You should have seen it.&#160 Clark’s last hit on McGahee was flat-out awesome.&#160 I haven’t seen a de-cleater like that since Marvin White took out a TTech receiver while playing for the Frogs.

  3. RobertHuntingdon says:

    HDD, there is a reason I consider both the Buttmore Mavens and the Pittsfart Stoolers to be the two most evil teams in the league. I despise both of them. I wish both could have lost the game somehow. Better yet I’d rather have had them both lose last week so that anybody other than those two could be going to the super bowl. Oh well. Hopefully Ward will be out long enough to give the Arizona players a chance to avoid having their jaws broken or having other cheap tricks played on them, unfortunately there are plenty of other dirty bastards on that team willing to pick up at least some of the slack.

    Not that I’m opposed to hard hits. I am not. Especially when they go against those bastards 🙂 but even just in general I like football not two-hand touch. What I am opposed to is *deliberately* leading with the helmet with intent to try to injure. Last I heard that was supposed to be illegal. For some reason it doesn’t seem to get called much if at all. And when that team is playing it should be called practically every third play (or more often).

    Oh well. I’m no fan of the Cardinals under normal circumstances but for the past few weeks I have been… first it was anybody but the fartcons, then anybody but the punkthers, then anybody but the iglets… and now anybody but the stoolers… so I’ll be cheering for them in two weeks without any doubt. Hopefully I’ll have something to cheer about at least some of the game….

    RH

  4. RobertHuntingdon says:

    Oh and HDD, I know the bungles sucked this year (I can admit it) but for the record they were a MUCH better defense than most people really expected. With almost NO help at all from the absolute DEAD LAST ranked offense they managed to get a #12 ranking on defense? That’s AWESOME, man. If the morons in the front office would have given up on widdle stacie andwews when she kept holding out for more money in contract talks and kept Big Willie around instead, Carson would very likely have never been hurt and that #12 would have been at LEAST a #8. Or better.

    If they get that line settled down next year and get some better help on blitz pickups, they are going to be roaring back next year and you’re going to be wondering “where the heck did these guys come from?” Or at least you would be if you hadn’t been forewarned.

    RH

  5. HDD says:

    RH,

    You admirable defense of the Bungles actually kind of proves the point about the Bungles…every time they have something their fans can hang their hat on and say “Yeah! If we can just get a decent X to go with our really awesome Y, we’ll be good again!”

    I’ve been hearing that almost every year since their trip to the Super Bowl. And, almost every year, the front office of the Bungles does *something* to not only NOT provide the needed X to go with the awesome Y, they then do *something* to make the awesome Y not-so-awesome anymore, leaving their fans heartbroken, yet again. Two years ago, the Bungles needed a decent defense to go with their high-powered offense, remember? Two years later, it’s the defense that’s good, and their offense is nowhere to be found. Professional sports is the closest thing most men will get to experiencing Battered Wife Syndrome first hand…

    You also have to admit that, as a fan of an Ohio sports team, you might be just a teeny bit biased when it comes to the Steelers and Ravens, right? Last time I checked, Ohio teams still hate Michigan, and still hate Pennsylvania. When I was growing up, way back when, in that mythical age when both the Browns and the Bengals were good teams, both teams hated the Steelers.

    I watched a video of the hit on Willis McGahee, and it was, technically, a clean hit. BUT, it was HORRIBLE tackling form. I do not believe, for a second, that Clark intended to lead with his helmet to injure McGahee. But, he certainly didn’t put any effort into tackling him with anything even remotely resembling proper form. The lone year I played football in high school, our coaches stressed, about 53,148 times a practice, that proper tackling form prevented injuries to both players. Clark’s hit showed why.

    Only getting to listening to the games does leave me at a disadvantage when trying to discuss things like leading with the helmet, and intentional injuries, I’ll admit, but, I can tell you that, in the games I have listened to, I’ve never really heard an opposing broadcast team complain about illegal hits from either team. I’ve only listened to a couple of games with the Steelers or Ravens, and, admittedly, yesterday’s game’s broadcast teams would have exactly complained about cheap shots from the other team while their team was doing the same thing, but, I really haven’t heard any homer broadcasts complain about them. Both teams are probably coached to get to the ball and make a hit, rather than get to the ball and make a tackle.

    (shameless plug for an NFL product, who doesn’t really need the plug: NFL Field Pass is an awesome thing! $35 allows to you listen to every game of every team in every week, with your choice of which home town broadcast team you want to listen to. You don’t have to listen to commercials, either. Yes, the NFL has inserted a generic music clip during the commercial breaks that will have you sick of it by half time (it never changes), but, no commercials is a beautiful thing. If you’re a fan of a team that doesn’t get local coverage where you live, get NFL Field Pass.)

    Plus, any team that has an accessory to murder who won’t tell the authorities who the murderer is, AND simultaneously goes through the motions of pretending to be a devout Christian gets me to question the ethics of that team. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Ray Lewis. You’re a thug off the field, and a washed up has-been on the field.

  6. RobertHuntingdon says:

    Snort. No, HDD, I’m completely not biased in any way. I’m a fan of the bungles but I’m not biased… um, yeah, if you buy that I’ve got some bottom land to sell you, just don’t ask what it’s on the bottom of…

    But it’s still a fact that the Stoolers and Mavens play dirty. Maybe I couldn’t say that if I was a Raiders fan (with a straight face at least), but it is a fact nonetheless… they play dirty and then they turn around and brag about it afterwards. That is inexcusable in my book.

    As for defending the Bungles… yeah, of course it’s an if. If Dallas fires Coach Cupcake (or he actually managed to pull of his “get tough” act he’s yammering about… snort, well I suppose it’s theoretically possible) they will probably be a pretty good team in short order. They already are after all they just need a decent coach and a few very minor tweaks. If the Aint’s had had the Bungles defense this year plus their offense they would be 20-point favorites in the super bowl. Or more. If McNabb actually had some wide receivers and a good power back (and as much as you may hate the Giants, Spats, you have to admit Jacobs is a pretty good power back) to help him out they would probably have gone 16-0 this year (or very close at least). There are a lot of good players out there, and a lot of pretty good teams, and a lot of potential for anything to break in the favor of a certain team at just the right moment… anything can happen. That’s part of the appeal of the NFL. Any given Sunday and all that….

    But three things are key. Not making idiotic personnel decisions (i.e. Stacy Andrews, the Lions drafting Joey Harrington, the Chargers drafting Ryan Leaf, or any of a dozen other bonehead moves I could name). Having good coaching makes a huge difference. And the players have to want it.

    This year the Bungles made a bunch of dumb as rocks personnel moves or failed to make moves they should have (Andrews & Big Willie, Rudi Johnson and Chris Butterfingers Perry, drafting Kenny Irons… well that’s enough although there are probably more) and several others that were questionable. But two of the three things they did get at least part right. They finally found a good D-coordinator. And they did manage to make the boys want it badly enough at the end of the season. If they can keep that fire lit for next year and fix a few of their personnel moves then they will be a force next year. And if the Raiders fire Al Davis (heh) then they will be too. It’s all a big IF.

    So when you get right down to it, I wasn’t really defending the Bengals. I was pointing out the gaping huge blind spot in your logic. You were denigrating the Eagles for having tied Cincinnati. But you were making a faulty comparison. And you weren’t paying much attention. The Bungles stank this year, don’t get me wrong. But they nearly managed to beat the Giants and the Cowboys (should have, really, on both) and came pretty close on the Jets, despite having the worst offense in the league. The Defense on the Bengals was VERY good when you consider ALL the facts instead of just look for a quick sound byte. And so was the Eagles Defense pretty much the whole year. McNabb, on the other hand, had his moments when he played angry enough to actually look like a decent QB, but the rest of the year he rather stank.

    The Eagles didn’t tie the Bengals because the Eagles sucked, as you implied. The Eagles tied because Andy Reid was screwing up by the numbers, Westbrook was hurt, and McNabb was sucking it up for about four weeks straight of which that game was the third week. Between those three factors they had an absolutely horrible game and the Bengals D was enough to almost do the rest. But the Bengals O was horrid all season (including that game) and couldn’t finish out the job.

    RH

  7. HDD says:

    Robert,

    MY contention is that a tie can only happen under one of two conditions: A) both teams are so evenly matched in their strengths and weaknesses that defeat isn’t possible under the circumstances, or B) both teams suck so bad that victory isn’t possible.

    The Iggles-Bungles tie was definitely NOT Case A. Believe it or not, I’m with you on how good the Bengals can be, if the front office can stop screwing it up for them (there aren’t any AFC teams I care enough about to even hate, so, I watch the AFC with an unbiased eye. I have no dog in any AFC fight.). But, this year, they were a train wreck. The Iggles pretty much only beat teams that were trying to lose, or beat teams that were so bad, anyone who showed up against them would win. The Bengals showed up against the Iggles, and fought them to a tie. It takes a worse team to tie than it does to lose. Trust me. I’ve been watching and studying winning for over 20 years. The Iggles-Bengals tie was an indication of how bad the Iggles really were, and how good the Bengals could be. If the Iggles defense was really as good as everyone said they were, how did they not prevent the worst offense in the NFL from scoring, AT ALL?

    My biggest problem with the Iggles is that they continue to trot out the second most overrated QB in our lifetime as some sort of Super Quarterback, who would win 15,000 games in a row, if he were actually surrounded by players a fraction as great as he. The problem is, the Iggles don’t realize that they HAVE surrounded Donna with players who can play at the same level as Donna…which is why they lose so many big games. Every victory the Iggles get is in spite of Donna, not because of her. Brad Johnson has comparable career stats as Donna, and one more Super Bowl ring, and he’s considered a mediocre, at best, journeyman QB. Could it be because Brad is white, and Donna isn’t?

    The Iggles suck, plain and simple. They weren’t even good enough to LOSE to the Bengals. All they could do was waste five quarters of football.

    Fire the Bengals front office, and they’ll be a great team again.

  8. RobertHuntingdon says:

    Well… you may have a point on that. But then, on the other hand, you did list as an option “both teams are so evenly matched in their strengths and weaknesses that defeat isn’t possible under the circumstances”.

    You say it’s “definitely” not that, however. I must ask, however if you watched that game. Because I did. (And I also looked back at the stats.)

    I saw two offenses that were horrid in general. The Eagles were slightly better, but not much. I saw two offenses that couldn’t get the short yardage by running the ball (although for different reasons in each case). I saw a team that was 3/18 on third down and a team that was 4/20. I saw two QBs who either couldn’t throw the ball on target or couldn’t even manage to get up the gumption to actually throw the ball away before they got sacked. Often both. One QB played catch with the wrong team and the other started to throw and then changed his mind so that he could get sacked instead. They both sucked pretty equally here.

    I saw two ball-hawking defenses playing quite well and both teams getting at least some turnovers (granted the Bengals got more, and the Eagles got theirs off a fumble, but it’s still a turnover). I saw two defenses (mostly) shutting down the run by determination and pretty solid tackling, with only a couple of exceptions. Similarly, I saw two defenses that each only gave up a couple of long passes and for most of the game held the other team in check. They were pretty equal here too.

    And I saw a pair of special teams units that got decent punting (and they better considering how much they did it, 10 for one and 11 for the other), decent kickoffs, and good coverage on both punts and kicks giving very little in the way of returns. Aside from one missed field goal, these units were also almost identical.

    That sure sounds like a pretty good fit for your definition, does it not?

    RH

  9. RobertHuntingdon says:

    Oh, and turning the ball over on your own 1 yard line does make it kinda hard to pitch a shutout… 🙂

    As for firing the front office, I think that might be a bit excessive. They actually have a decent record on picking decent players in the draft in recent years (the Marvin era). In fact they are ranked surprisingly high on drafting players who “stick” rather than flame out. Unfortunately their misses are the stuff of legends, and their mistakes on who to keep and who to get rid of are almost as bad. I mean, they traded down instead of drafting Steven Jackson a few years back (huge mistake) which got them Stacy Andrews in the first place. Then they franchised him and cut Big Willie. They also drafted Kenny Irons whose career lasts like one preseason snap. At least he was a 2nd rounder instead of a 1st like some others, but yuk!

    And on and on and on you could go… but that doesn’t tell the rest of the story either. Like the way they find the waiver wire gems like Chris Crocker. Or the way they drafted Chinnidum Ndukwe in the 7th round (or TJ whosyamomma) and several other late round steals.

    No I don’t think a complete overhaul is truly needed. They’ve had a few really good years and most of the others weren’t actually that bad. But they need to learn to cut their losses on trash. When they couldn’t get a long-term contract with Andrews in his third year they should have traded him right then and drafted somebody else to back up Big Willie. Andrews was a completely unproven commodity at that point (and has since proven to be much worse than they both thought he was) and they should have refused to play games with him. And Ocho Stinko… you hate to give in to somebody like that, but on the other hand, two first rounders and you get some peace and quiet? I’ll take that any day.

    Anyway, enough dissecting the Bungles for me. For now at least… 🙂

    RH

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